Caden

by Tl Reeve

  “Don’t fuck this up,” Jace replied.

  “I won’t.”

  He stepped inside the house and closed the door behind him. The scents of home hit Caden square in the chest. He absently rubbed the spot as he breathed deep. He could smell Keeley, baby powder, and the twins. Both had their own distinct differences. Since he didn’t see anyone downstairs, he took the stairs one at a time and did so as quietly as he could. When he got to the top, he saw a door open—his old room. Pain lanced his heart. They removed him. Fuck, he was such a fucking loser.

  Tamp down your inner self-hating, will ya? Kalkin’s voice drifted through their connection. Well...you going to stand there or come meet your niece and nephew?

  Caden didn’t know what to do. He didn’t deserve the kindness shown to him. Keeley made it clear through Kal, she didn’t want him around the twins. He didn’t want to incur the wrath of a woman who could beat the shit out of him with her mind. Kalkin’s laughter filled his head. The asshole was listening to him. You’re such an asshole. I swear.

  It’s my duty as Alpha and your brother. Now, get your ass in here. I can’t get up.

  Caden strode to the door and came up short when he saw the twins pressed to Kalkin’s chest. One wore a pink onesie with purple socks while the other wore a dark blue onesie with red socks. His brother looked like a smug bastard sitting there too. Pride shone brightly in his blue eyes as he rocked back and forth.

  Want to hold one? Kalkin cocked a brow.

  Oh, I don’t think I should. What if Keeley finds out?

  Kalkin snorted. She won’t. Hold Ella. She’s the calmer of the two. Colin is too much like me and a shit load scrappier.

  Caden ran his hands down his thighs, realizing for the first time how nervous he’d been. He reached out for the small bundle resting at the crook of Kal’s neck. His hands wrapped around her tiny frame like he’d done a long time ago with Aiden’s. She gave a small whimper as he lifted her away from his brother, then settled as he placed her just as she’d been against Kalkin’s neck. She let out a soft sigh while nuzzling Caden’s skin. Ella smelled clean, like baby soap and pine. The hint of wilderness lay under her subtle scent. She weighed absolutely nothing as he took a seat in the chair beside Kalkin. A sense of peace washed over him as he began to rock.

  So, what brought you here? Kalkin adjusted himself so he could look at Caden.

  I came to apologize to everyone. I’m actually on my way to see Danielle. But, Jace said Keeley and Danielle are working or something? He ran his hand down the baby’s back in a soothing motion like Kal did to Colin.

  Those women. Today, I guess around mid-morning, they had two girls approach them at the shop Keeley is going to move into for work. That woman is going to be the death of me, however, she’s got this stuff down. She knows what she wants to do, and I know she’ll be safe since she will be working with Jerome. They seemingly slipped into their peaceful co-existence.

  Wait. Back up a minute. I have to catch up here. It’d been weeks since he and Kalkin had any kind of real communication. What is Keeley doing with Jerome?

  She is opening a security business called Vigilante Security. There’s more to it though. Jerome is bringing in some of his old contacts from the FBI as well.

  Well, hell. Damn, bro.

  Tell me about it. A soft rumble of laughter filled Kalkin’s throat. I’m sure when I find out exactly what she’s doing, I’m going to blow a gasket. I won’t tell her no though. She has needs. She and Danielle have had to hide for longer than they should have ever had to. If her doing this gives her part of her life back, then so be it.

  What about the orphanage? Would Danielle be running it alone? He thought it’d been both of their ideas. Would adding on the wing overwhelm Danielle?

  Keeley said they will be doing both. Danielle will be helping with triage and the daily business associated with the orphanage.

  What about the vet clinic? So many things were changing, and Caden felt completely out of his element.

  Kalkin smiled. She can utilize both.

  Aiden. Shit, why didn’t he think of that?

  So, why are you going to see Danielle?

  To apologize. To see his boys. He had so many reasons to go there. But, he yearned to see Danielle, gather her in his arms and beg for her forgiveness. It’s time. Rapier came by the station today.

  Oh?

  Yeah. He said he was tired of waiting me out. He’s agreed to help me. Caden still couldn’t believe after everything that had happened between them, Rapier would even consider assisting him.

  Good. I kind of like the asshole. I was thinking of sharing pack duties with him. He’s a good Alpha.

  Caden stared at his brother. Had he heard him correctly? Uh...

  Close your mouth, you’ll attract flies. Again, his brother laughed. It’s time. Mackenzie is in no shape to ever take over the pack. Jace is too broken and we’re...parents. I could use the extra help. He’s making an impression around here too. People like him. His crew builds in record time and even goes on house calls when needed.

  Wow. If you think it’ll be okay. I support you.

  Kalkin grunted. The sun is going down. Don’t you think you should be heading over to Danielle’s?

  Caden nodded. Where should I put her?

  Her crib is fine. They’ll be waking up soon.

  He stood slowly then inched toward the crib so not to wake the sleeping bundle in his arms. He lowered her to the soft blanket covering the mattress as gently as he could. She reached for him as he retracted his hands, her little fist latched onto his finger with all her might. Her eyes opened, surprising him. Instead of the Raferty blue he’d been expecting, they were the same hazel hue as her mother’s. Her lips spread into a small smile before she kicked her legs and let go of his hand. Caden tickled her belly before stepping away.

  She’s awake. He turned to see his brother laying Colin in his crib.

  Figures. She likes to flirt. His brother rolled his eyes.

  Caden laughed softly. You’ll have your hands full.

  Kalkin gave him a droll stare. Don’t remind me. Now, get out of here. I’ll let Keeley know you’re coming and to not interfere. This is between you and Danielle.

  Thanks.

  He exited the room and headed for the stairs. As he got to the bottom of them, Mackenzie stepped out of the kitchen with a beer in his hand. What did Caden say to his older brother—the one he’d wanted to be so like when he grew up and had all of his admiration ripped out from under him when Mackenzie didn’t heed his words after what happened with Marjorie. Caden’s stomach soured. He backed up a step, trying to keep distance between them.

  “So, you came back,” Mackenzie muttered. “Took you long enough.”

  “I’ve heard that before,” Caden answered.

  His brother took a sip of his beer. “Are you ever going to get over it and talk to me?”

  He flinched at Mackenzie’s tone. Get over it? How the hell did Caden get over what happened to him? How did he move past the fact his brother seemingly turned his back on his family, created a life they kept and Caden had to give up his little girl? Sure, in the end it had been for the right reasons, but still. How fucking dare he? “I would choose your next words wisely.”

  “What do you want from me? To grovel and beg for forgiveness?” He snorted. “You and Kalkin have shit between you that you both need to deal with. Maybe, if you hadn’t have kept secrets, some of this shit wouldn’t have happened.”

  “And maybe, if you hadn’t been pissing in Marjorie’s direction, neither one of you would be fucked up,” Kalkin growled. “Mac, I warned you. Right now isn’t a good time for Caden. You want to settle your shit later, fine. Until then back off.”

  Sadness filled Mackenzie’s eyes. “This is horse shit. I should be able to talk to both of you without feeling like an outsider.”

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked Marjorie,” Kalkin snapped. “Caden shouldn’t have to tell you what happened. He
tried to warn you and you still had to get your dick wet. Where’d that get you?”

  “Fuck,” Mackenzie grumbled. “It’s not what I intended.”

  “Well, it happened.” Caden turned from them. “I can’t deal with this right now. I have to make amends with Danielle and get my family back.”

  Kalkin nodded. “Go. She needs you. We’ll figure this out later, when you’re settled with your family.”

  Chapter Five

  Caden trudged across the bridge separating the properties. His heart pounded. His gut knotted. Anxious energy had perspiration rolling down his temples. Shit, he had to tamp down his reaction to taking this step and dealing with his eldest brother. If Danielle opened the door and sensed any of it... he didn’t want to think about what might happen.

  He stepped up to the door and knocked. Dumbstruck, he stood there when Danielle opened the door. For the second she stared at him, he’d seen all he needed to. Danielle’s shoulders were slumped. Something, he didn’t want to hazard a guess what it could be, covered her shirt. Her eyes were puffy and dull from lack of sleep. She’d cut off all of her long, golden locks and, like Rapier said, she’d lost too much weight. Frown lines formed between her brows as she opened her mouth. However, before she said anything, she closed the door in his face.

  The hardwood vibrated in the frame, pushing him back a step. Caden hesitated. Maybe he overestimated things. All of his old demons pushed to the surface. He could easily go back to the hotel and drink away his problems. He could continue to do things behind the scenes. He didn’t know why he thought today would be any different than any other time he tried to talk to her. Fucking Rapier, getting his damn hopes up. Caden turned from the door to walk away.

  “Caden,” Keeley said.

  He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

  “I’ve been instructed not to interfere.” She held the door open.

  “Keeley!” Danielle stormed toward her sister. “What are you doing? I told you it was no one!”

  Caden winced. Ouch. He deserved her caustic tongue. “It’s okay, Keeley. I’ll let Kalkin know you didn’t.”

  “You keep walking away,” Keeley stated. “Why aren’t you fighting?”

  He glanced at Danielle then back at Keeley. “Because sometimes, some things are too broken.”

  She snorted. “Come in. I have to go. Kalkin said the twins are awake and getting impatient.” She winked at him as she looped her satchel over her shoulder.

  “Keeley,” Danielle pleaded. “I thought you were on my side.”

  “I am.” She hugged Danielle. “Sometimes the things that hurt the most cloud our judgement. Just try.” She motioned for Caden to enter the house then closed the door behind her on her way out.

  He stared at the floor beneath his feet while listening to Aiden singing along to some show he watched, and Nicolas cooed from somewhere near him. Now that he was there, he didn’t know what to say. Everything he planned, just like with Kalkin, faded. The awkward tension filled the space, and he tamped down on his emotions, so not to overwhelm Danielle.

  “I wish you would stop doing that,” she whispered. “You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves because we’re in a situation we don’t want to be.”

  “But, I do want to be here,” he answered, looking up at her. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and wash away the last year. He wanted to start over. Repair the irreparable damage he’d created.

  “You don’t have to pretend.” She folded her arms.

  “I’m not pretending.” He couldn’t prove it in a matter of minutes, it would take days, weeks, months, if not years to do so.

  “You don’t have to be here because Kalkin told you to.” Now she was reaching. He knew it.

  “I’m not here because of Kalkin. I’m here because I want to be here.” He took a step toward her, and she flinched. “Don’t. Please. Listen.” He reached for her, but dropped his hand. “I have to make this right.”

  “I don’t know if there is a way to make it right,” Danielle whispered, wiping away tears.

  Without an ounce of indecision, he grabbed her up into his arms and held her tight, even though she went limp in his arms. “Jesus, Danielle. I’m sorry, pumpkin.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I hurt you so bad. Fuck. I won’t make any excuses for my actions.” Caden eased back so he could look at her. “Remember when you said you’d kill me if we didn’t find Keeley alive?”

  She nodded.

  “I wanted you to. God, Dani. I wanted you to. I can’t even begin to explain or maybe I don’t have the right to. I... I don’t know. But, seeing you in so much pain. So torn apart because of what I’d done to you because of my willful ignorance due to Simon... I wanted to die if it would bring Keeley back to you and make Simon disappear. You didn’t need me. If my death granted you comfort, I was ready to die.”

  She stared at him. Shock colored her features as she continued to peer up at him. She opened then closed her mouth several times before swallowing hard. “Caden, I—”

  In the next room, Nicolas gave a soft whimper, and the shuffle of feet grew closer. He smelled Aiden. Without another word, Danielle extricated herself out of his embrace then dabbed her eyes on the arm of her shirt.

  “Ca-en?”

  He picked up the growing boy. Again, he realized how much he’d missed. How much time he’d wasted not giving a shit about anyone but himself. Aiden’s mop of curly brown hair framed his face. His brown-eyed gaze filled with confusion. “Hey, buddy.”

  “Ca-en, no.” Aiden kicked his legs, striking Caden in the thigh and hip. “Put dow. Put dow.” His cries grew louder while tears streamed down his cheeks. “Mama! Pwese...”

  He gently set down the little wolf, who fell on his butt. The boy howled, shredding Caden’s soul in the process. God, he was such a dick. What the hell did he think would happen walking back into this house? He would just pick up where he left off, like he hadn’t said disgusting things or left Danielle and Aiden on their own? A cry of sadness came from where Aiden had been sitting near the television. Danielle hurried from the room, leaving him with an inconsolable Aiden.

  “It’s okay to be mad at me,” Caden murmured.

  Aiden showed his teeth and growled, then cried harder. “Ou leave me. Mama.” He growled again. “Make Mama sad. Cry. Aiden cry. Nic-Nic cry.”

  “I know, buddy. I’m so sorry. I won’t leave you ever again.” He gathered the boy up into his arms. Caden rubbed his back while the boy sobbed.

  “He’s hungry,” Danielle said, coming into the entry area they’d never left since he walked through the door. He caught a glimpse of the golden-haired bundle wailing in her arms. Well, we know whose genes were stronger.

  “Want help?” He followed her into the kitchen, then placed Aiden into his high chair which sat beside the table. “I don’t mind. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

  Danielle glanced over her shoulder at him as she reached into the cupboard and pulled out a small tin before placing it on the kitchen island. “Here, one of these for Aiden. He has juice in the fridge, along with a bag of milk I need for Nicolas. Could you get those?”

  The way she said, “bag of milk,” made him frown, like it repulsed her. It also didn’t make sense to him. Why wasn’t she using her own milk? Questions swirled through his mind because the whole situation didn’t make sense to him. Why? Why all of it. Kalkin never really explained what happened. Oh sure, Kalkin barked shit at him about Nic being premature and her being incredibly sick. Could this have been a side-effect? Shit. Probably is. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What have I done? Instead of asking her though, he didn’t press the issue. One, he had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer and two, he was already hanging on by a thread. If he pushed her too hard, she’d most likely throw him out and never let him back in. He grabbed the tin first so he could get Aiden settled. When he opened it, he grinned. “Mmmm, Mrs. Martin’s cookies.”

  Aiden nodded. “No eats all.”

  “Never, buddy.�
�� Caden placed one on the tray in front of him before making his way to the fridge. Hardly any food had been on the shelves. It was as if she had the bare essentials for the boys, but nothing for herself. He bit back the curse sitting on the tip of his tongue, rather, he grabbed a bag of milk and the bottle of juice for Aiden. “You know, I can do this. Why don’t you go grab a shower or take one of those bubble baths you loved?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?” She snatched bag of milk from him and placed it in the bottle then dropped it into the warming water.

  “So you can take a little time for yourself. I can watch the boys.” He grabbed a sippy cup like the whole action had been second nature to him. After pouring some juice into the cup, he screwed the top on and handed it to Aiden. “Honest. They’re safe with me.”

  She frowned as she pulled the bottle from the water. “I don—”

  “They’ll be fine. Take a little time for you.” He took the bottle from her and placed it on the counter. “Plus, I can introduce myself to my son.”

  “You’re...” Danielle narrowed her eyes then sighed. The weary sound rankled his nerves. “Fine. Fifteen minutes.”

  “Sure,” he answered, taking Nicolas from her. “Take your time.”

  “Fifteen minutes,” Danielle replied. “I’ll set a timer.”

  * * * *

  Danielle entered her room and gently closed the door behind her. She let out the breath she’d been holding since walking up the stairs. She grabbed onto the side of her dresser, afraid she’d fall over if she tried to take another step. Caden came. He’d been sober. Clean. He smelled like spice and pine and wolf. The flutter of what once was, filled her. The giddy excitement of seeing him again wiggled its way to the surface. Danielle tamped it down. None of that.

  When she was sure she wouldn’t fall, she eased into her bathroom. It’d been months since she could take her time and just shower. She glanced over at the tempting garden tub with a sense of longing. Five minutes won’t kill you. She turned on the tap, allowing the water to warm before placing the stopper into the drain. After adding a bit of the bath crystals, she removed her clothes.