by Angela Rush
Chapter 12
Hawk
I close my eyes to sleep. It has been a long day. It was nice to meet Charlotte’s children. A smile crosses my face when I think about how fiercely her son questioned me about my intentions. I am glad to see he is protective of his mother, but even happier that her children were not upset that Charlotte and I seem to have something between us. When they first arrived, I was concerned they would give her a hard time. Some kids never want their parents to find love after divorce or the death of a spouse. I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction they would have, so I am pleased that while they are skeptical of me, they don’t seem to be angry about it. It would devastate Charlotte if she thought it was causing her children discomfort. Without a doubt she would put them first and there would be no chance for us. It’s time to put these thoughts out of my head and sleep before the nightmares begin.
Charlotte screaming, NO! over and over, startles me from sleep. She is thrashing violently in the bed and I am afraid she is going to hurt herself. I jump into action as the nurse bursts through the door. The bright light of the hallway floods the room and it blinds me. Charlotte screams louder trying to climb up the head of the bed. As I reach for her, I try talking her down from whatever horrors she is seeing in her mind’s eye.
“Charlotte! Charlotte! Look at me, love.” I admonish her with a firm, but gentle tone. “You are safe, in the hospital on base. It’s me Hawk. I am here with you. No one is going to hurt you.” I have gotten her attention, but she still looks disoriented. She is frowning at me, but at least she is not pulling away from my hand on her arm.
“They have me tied down and they are going to hurt me.” She whispers as tears begin to fall. Her eyes dart around the room wildly as if she is looking for her captors.
“No, love. I am here. I won’t let them hurt you. Remember, I promised.” I reply in the calmest of tones. It infuriates me that she is having to relive this shit over and over every night. “Come, let me hold you so you can go back to sleep.”
“You’re really here?” She whispers again. “I’m not dreaming about you?”
“No, love, you are not dreaming. I am right here. See, feel my hand on your arm?” I attempt to pull her back down into the bed. This time she lets me. I sit on the bed with her and pull her to me like we slept in the safe house. Slowly, she relaxes into my chest and runs her hand over it. She whispers to herself.
“He’s really here. I am ok now. He’s real. I can feel him.” She continues to assure herself for several minutes while the nurse checks everything out. It’s a miracle she hasn’t dislodged some of the tubes they have attached to her, but the nurse says everything is ok. She doesn’t seem to mind that I am in the hospital bed with her, so I remain there while she drifts back to sleep.
A couple of hours later I am awoken again to her cries. She calms a little quicker this time. Thankfully, I am able to help her calm down. A couple of times, I am sure she is having a flash back, because even once she seems to be awake, she still looks confused and shaken. By 5 am, we have been up and down several times. She is reluctant to even try to sleep now. So, at her insistence I head downstairs to get her some coffee with her favorite creamer.
When I return with our coffee, the nurse is in the room again. She explains that she came to check the heart monitor because it was not picking up a signal. She had found Charlotte in the floor beside the bed. The nurse assured me that nothing was broken or dislodged when she had fallen out the of bed. The nurse asks if it is ok to put the bedrail up on that side of the bed, so it doesn’t happen again. Charlotte’s eyes are darting around, not really focusing on anything.
“Charlotte, are you alright?” I ask lifting her chin up so she has to look at me. She frowns at first, but then relaxes and says, “I just got too close to the edge, I guess. I’m just clumsy.” She reaches for the coffee and begins to sip it. She won’t look me in the eye. An uneasy feeling comes over me. I will need to speak with the doctor this morning and ask for Charlotte to see the psych doctor again today. She is going to need more intense treatment than we originally thought. She has tried to hide how badly this has affected her. She is a strong woman, but no one can endure all that she has and not come out of it a little scarred. She needs to open up about what is happening so we can help her move on from this nightmare.
Charlotte is sleeping finally. The nurse gave her something to help her rest. She looks so peaceful, like an angel. When Dr. Jacobson comes by, I ask him not to wake her. I tell him about the nightmares and that I think she might be having flash backs as at times she doesn’t seem to be in the moment. Dr. Jacobson assures me that he will have the psychiatrist, Dr. Hancock come by again today. He gives me some good news, though. The chest tube can come out today. It’s progress toward getting her out of here and moving forward. I am thankful she is improving physically, but I am very concerned about her mental health.
A week later…
Charlotte is being discharged today. She has improved every day. She continues to amaze me. She pushes through the pain without complaint. I know she wants out of here so badly. Her children left to go back home yesterday. They were reluctant to leave, but Charlotte assured them she didn’t want them to put their lives on hold. It also helped that we promised to come out, once she is able to fly.
The relationship between mother and children is so similar to the relationship I have had with my own parents. It is comforting to me and lets me see a future with her. I know that my son, Brian is going to love her. She is a wonderful mother to her children. They may be grown, but she is still their mother. She commands respect from them but gives it in return. She doesn’t belittle them or scoff at their youth when they made some rather immature comments about the budding relationship between us. She is patient, kind, and loving, but firm when she needs to be. It is my sincere desire to head back to the East coast sooner rather than later so I can introduce her to my family. My parents, son, and siblings have been pestering me to send them pictures or Facetime with them so they can meet her. I don’t want to rush her. Even though I have met her children, that’s a little different. She was hurt and needed her children to know that she is alive and well. And there was absolutely no way I was going to stay away from her for a week.
Some asshole has leaked her rescue to the press and that she is at this Naval hospital. It has been difficult to keep the reporters away. Some high-ranking Navy officer has decided that Charlotte’s rescue would make a great story and improve the public’s perception of the military. So, she is being required to make a statement to the press which has really pissed me off. I made it clear to Captain Olson and Commander Hurt that she will read a prepared statement but will not answer any questions. They assured me that we will get her away from the cameras as quickly as possible. Some of those asshole reporters have no manors whatsoever. It’s shameful the questions they will shout out. Do they seriously think she is going to confess to being raped at a press conference in front of a room full of strangers?
In addition to the press, we also have to worry about Hugo Lopez. Intel indicates that he knows Charlotte may have sensitive information. He has gang members all over the US. Word is out for them to be on the lookout for the American woman, short with brown curly hair, that was rescued by US military. The news has now made her a target of every street thug in the US. All looking to catch some fame and glory by being the one that brings her to Lopez. It will be harder than ever to keep her safe now that her name and face are a national news story.
Commander Hurt and Captain Olson have arranged for me to keep Charlotte with me on base. They convinced the upper brass that her safety was of National Security importance. The intel she has on the Lopez brothers has helped to secure her protection. We had a meeting with both leaders, my team, and the SEALs we were partnered with. Wolf’s offer to allow us to stay with him and his wife was considered, but I don’t want to risk their safety. As a group we decided that staying on base would be the most secure. It would keep the
press away while we recover. Dr. Hancock the psychiatrist will be close also. And while I hate to admit it, I think we will be needing her more than we could ever have imagined. Charlotte’s nightmares have continued, and she seems to be worsening each day. I know the lack of good sleep isn’t helping. I’m at a loss as to how to help her. I will do everything in my power to get her though this. She is tough as anyone I’ve ever met and I know if anyone can get past what she has endured, it’s Charlotte.
Chapter 13
Charlotte
After a week in the hospital, I am finally allowed to leave with a semi clean bill of health. I have follow-up appointments with a pulmonologist and a psychiatrist to ensure that I am handling all of this okay. I give a short statement to the press the morning of my release and then I am whisked away from the hospital out a back door and into an SUV belonging to one of the SEAL team members. The press has been hounding me for interviews since news of my return to the States was leaked to the press, by an unknown source.
I had thought we were going to Wolf and Caroline’s house to stay a few days. However, Hawk, Commander Hurt, and Captain Olson have decided it is too risky to stay there or check into a hotel, even temporarily. They are concerned the press might find out and camp outside to get pictures of us or secure an interview. So, we are going to stay in a house on base. I was sure the military would not let me stay on base as I am not one of them and we aren’t married. Hawk assured me that my safety while I recover is a priority to his Captain and Commander Hurt.
After arriving on base, we pull up onto a street with houses on both sides of the street. They are all the same, tan siding, a small window to the left of a plain brown door, with a larger picture window on the right side of the door. We stop in front of one of the units. There are a couple of cars in the driveway and a few more on the street. The others file out and I notice they are surveying the neighborhood just as they had done while we were in the jungle. I suppose it so ingrained in them they don’t realize they are doing it. Hawk takes my hand and squeezes gently.
“Are you ready, love?” He asks. “I should have warned you. The SEALs wives have insisted on getting the house ready for us. According to Wolf, they will have gone way overboard, and they will want to spoil us some before they leave. I will try to not let them wear you out too much, but they have been so helpful. I didn’t want to say no.”
“Oh, Hawk. That is so sweet of them. I don’t mind having some company for a while. If they wear me out, perhaps I won’t wake you up tonight with my nightmares.” I tell him with a smile to lighten the mood.
“Ok” he says with a tender look, “Let’s do this.” He places my hand on my lap and gets out of the SUV. He walks around to my side and opens the door. I scoot to the edge of the seat and prepare to step out. Before I can sit my feet on the running boards, Hawk has slipped his arms under me. His left arm is behind my shoulders and his right is under my knees. He sweeps me out of the truck as I let out a squeal of surprise. He proceeds to carry me to the front door. The men that have accompanied us on the trip here fall in behind us. I slap at his arms with futility and insist I can walk.
He just smirks at me. “Why walk when you can ride?”
As we approach the door, it flies open and I see Caroline waiting for us to enter. As we enter the house, I can hardly see what it looks like for all the people standing around waiting for us to arrive. Hawk’s men, the SEALs, their wives, and many people I haven’t met before are all standing there smiling at us. The crowd parts as Hawk carries me through the living room. He still refuses to let me walk. The walls are plain white drywall, but I notice a few framed pictures are hanging on the walls. It was hard to see much of the living room furniture, but it looks like a light brown couch, matching love seat, and small coffee table fill the room. There is a massive flat screen television on the far wall. We turn left to leave the living area and enter the next room where, there is a small oak dining table with four chairs in a little nook. The sliding glass door behind the table allows the sun to filter in and light up the space. There is a small kitchen to the right of the nook. It has a large black refrigerator, with matching stove and a microwave tucked under the upper cabinets. The countertops are white tile with a black back splash. The sink is against the back side of the house with a small window above it. White curtains with black checks are hanging at the window.
Hawk again turns left and heads down a short hallway to enter a door at the end on the right. We enter a large master bedroom. It has a huge cherry king size sleigh bed that dominates the room. The bed is covered with a fluffy hunter green comforter. A matching cherry dresser with mirror covers most of the wall at the foot of the bed. A 6-drawer cherry chest of drawers is on the wall with the door. A small nightstand sits on each side of the bed. On the back wall to the right of the bed is an open door that leads to the in-suite bathroom. Another door beside the dresser is closed and I assume it is the closet.
As Hawk carries me toward the bed, Caroline hurries around us and pulls the covers back on the far side of the bed. The sheets are white with small pink flowers and green vines that match the comforter. Hawk gently places me on the bed and covers my legs. The sheets are so soft, and the mattress is just right. There are big fluffy pillows across the head of the bed. Sighing contentedly, I sink down in the covers.
“I want you to rest a little while before we entertain company. The press conference was almost too much for you this morning. Take a nap and when the food is ready, I will wake you for lunch,” Hawk commands. I want to protest. It seems rude to sleep when there are so many people out there, but I can already feel my eyes closing. I just nod my head in agreement and sink further into the mattress. I don’t even here the door close has Hawk and Caroline leave the room.
Chapter 14
Hawk
She is exhausted. Please let her sleep without waking up crying and afraid. I walk out to thank everyone for coming and see if they need help with the BBQ, but I won’t stay long. I am afraid to leave her sleeping by herself. You never know how long she will be able to sleep.
“Thanks everyone for coming to welcome us home. I hope you all don’t mind, but Charlotte needs to rest for a little bit before meeting everyone again,” I inform the crowd of men and women waiting in the living area.
“Don’t worry about anything. Benny, Ace, and I are manning the grill. The girls have all the sides and desserts prepared. Go rest with her. I’ll come get you in a couple of hours when the food is ready, and beers are cold.” Wolf informs me. I nod and smile at the room as I turn to head back to my Charlotte.
Cookie stops me as I enter the hallway. “How’s she doing?” he inquires with concern.
“She’s holding up as well as can be expected. She’s suffered a lot, but she’s a strong determined woman. She will be fine.” I say with as much confidence as I can muster.
“I don’t want to push, but my Fiona went through something similar and I thought she was handling it too, but I was wrong and missed the warning signs. She had a flash back and took off on us, while I was gone on a mission. It took several days to find her and bring her home. I just want you to know that if you need any help, Fiona and I are here for you both. We have been there and know how hard it can be to make it from one day to the next. Fiona still has bad days and it’s been over 2 years since she was rescued. Make her go see Dr Hancock, try to get her to talk to you about how she feels and what she is experiencing. And know that we are here if you need help. All of the guys would come at the drop of a hat if you need help.” Cookie put his hand on my shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. Deadeye, Straw, Abe and Dude have walked over to join the conversation while Cookie is talking.
“Thanks, I am worried about her.” I reply honestly. “She has these nightmares that wake her several times a night. Sometimes, I don’t think she is back in reality for a long while afterward. I don’t know if it’s flashbacks or what, but I have a strong suspicion that she is trying to keep how mentally unstable she is
from me. Hell, even from the doctors.”
“This may sound a little off the wall and even seem creepy to you, but I recommend having trackers put on her.” Cookie states as a matter of fact.
“Trackers?” I question with one eyebrow raised.
“Yes, all our women have them. They chose to wear them. When Fiona disappeared, we were desperate to find her. If she hadn’t had my credit card to use, we might never have found her. The others have had situations where they were kidnapped by really bad people. The trackers have saved their lives and even ours.” Cookie declares passionately. “Look just think about it, talk to her about it. Tex, monitors the trackers and if something goes wrong, he calls us and let us know where our women are at. We even wear them while on missions. They have GPS in them. If the worst-case scenario happens, we can be tracked and found anywhere in the world.”
“It gives us and our women peace of mind. If she should ever have an episode like Fiona and takes off, you will be glad to have them.” Abe declares while slapping me on the back in a friendly gesture.
“It’s a good idea, Hawk.” Deadeye tells me. “After all the episodes you have described in the hospital. I think it would be foolish not to put some on her. It’s only a matter of time, before she cracks.” Deadeye throws his hands up in a shrug as I start to argue. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. I know she is tough as nails. If she weren’t, she would have cracked before we found her in the jungle, but what she suffered would make a hardened soldier like us struggle. It’s only natural for her to have some PTSD and anxiety. I say plan for the worst and hope for the best.”