by Angela Rush
“Ok, thanks guys. I will talk to her about it. I need to get back there before she has an episode. It’s easier to bring her back to reality if I can intervene before she’s too involved with the dream.” I turn and head down the hall, determined to do my best to care for this woman that has stolen my heart in a few short days.
Chapter 15
Charlotte
The sound of knocking on a door awakens me. Hawk’s muscular, warm arms that I crave are wrapped around me. Gently scooting away from him, I try to slip out so I can answer the knocking, but Hawk pulls me back against him, shushing me, whispering words of comfort to assure me that I am ok, and no one is going to hurt me ever again. I sigh deeply. I hate that it’s the first thing on his mind, that I am having a nightmare again. Twisting around in his arms to face him, I run my hands through his hair. His eyes pop open and I smile at him. He can always take my breath away with his beautiful green eyes. He smiles back and leans in to place a soft kiss on my lips. I want to deepen it and get lost in his touch, but there is again a knock at the door. Hawk startles and pulls back to get out of bed. He crosses over to the door and swings it open.
“Hey, sorry to wake you, but the food is ready, and I didn’t want it to get cold,” Wolf is standing in the doorway peering in at me.
“Thanks, we’ll be out in a few minutes,” Hawk replies softly. Wolf nods once and turns to walk back down the hall. Hawk quietly shuts the door and strolls back over to our bed and climbs in next to me. I sigh contentedly and snuggle into his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair, then lets his hand slide slowly down my back to finally settle on my butt cheek. He gives it a little squeeze.
“Time to get up, love. The guys have barbequed, and the food is done. You need to eat some lunch. You hardly touched your breakfast at the hospital.” Hawk continues to rub his free hand soothingly down my body as he talks. “You lost even more weight while you were in the hospital. You need to eat so you can get your strength back.”
“Hawk, I may have lost weight, but it’s not going to hurt me to lose a few more pounds. Besides, I eat what I can hold. It’s going to take a while for me to get used to eating good food again.” I huff out a breath in frustration. I know he means well, but my weight loss is the least of my worries at the moment.
“Hey, I like your curves. I don’t want you losing any more weight. Plus, you need calories to heal your broken bones, cuts, and bruises.” Hawk says as we sit up. He helps me out of the bed and leads me to the bathroom. Once he is sure I am going to be ok, he steps out and pulls the door almost closed. I want to be offended, but he has bathed me more than once so what if I’m using the facilities while he’s listening at the door? It’s because he is concerned for me. He cares. I can handle that any day.
After I finish in the bathroom, I wait for Hawk to do his business. Once that is over, we head out into the fray that is transpiring in the living room of our small house. The dining table is loaded with dishes of food. Hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks, grilled chicken breasts, and pork chops fill several large platters. There are bowls of macaroni ’n cheese, Cole slaw, and potato salad. Chips, dips, fruit, and vegetable trays are lining the small bar between the kitchen and dining area. There is enough food to feed a small army.
A chuckle escapes my lips as that thought crosses my mind. We have a small army here, what with the SEALs, the Marines Special Ops, and other support staff that have converged on our tiny abode for the BBQ. Hawk looks over at me with concern, but quickly grins as he deduces my musings. It’s hard to believe that I am here, surrounded by the men (and their women) who saved me from certain death. The best part is the handsome man that is looking at me with such deep affection, it takes my breath away. Hawk begins to fill a plate with a little bit of everything. Once it’s almost too full to carry, he takes my hand and leads me into the living room. He sits down in a beautiful, fluffy, hunter green recliner. After placing the plate on the coffee table, he reaches for me and settles me into his lap with my legs draped over the side of the chair. He gets the plate of food and begins to feed me like I am a small child. I want to protest, but I have come to learn that once he has it in his head to feed me, there’s nothing I can do, but comply.
Hours later the house is, finally, quiet. All the guests have gone home, and we are left alone in our new abode. Hawk seems happy that we have some time to ourselves. I’m still not sure where we stand, but perhaps this will give us some time to get to know one another better.
I should be embarrassed to be shacking up with a stranger, but I am having more trouble handling all of this than I want to admit. Especially at night, I don’t want to be alone, because I am plagued nightly reliving the horrors I endured. I am jerked awake several times a night as I feel the boot kicking my ribs, fists hitting my face, and rough hands forcing my hips up to meet his erection. I try not to wake Hawk, but sometimes it is unavoidable as I am screaming and fighting him violently.
I am having flash backs as well, but I have hidden that from everyone so far. At least, I think I have. They started while I was in the hospital. It was late at night. Hawk had gone down to the cafeteria to get some coffee for us. I had had a particularly bad nightmare. It had taken him a couple of minutes to get me to realize it was only a dream. Once he was sure I was at myself and going to be ok, he agreed to get us some coffee and a snack.
Alone in my room it was dark save for the faint light of the monitor and IV pump. Suddenly, I was blinded by a bright light and male voices are speaking Spanish. They are here for me! How did they find me in a military hospital? Instinctively I roll out of the bed to the floor and try to crawl behind the head of the bed, but I am still tied up. Did I dream about the rescue, seeing my family, Hawk? I can’t get my arms free to crawl and something is caught on my right side. It hurts as I try to pull it free from my body. It takes several minutes before I realize the room is once again dark and the voices are gone. They have left. They didn’t hit me this time.
The light blinds me again before a shadow blocks some of the light from my eyes. Suddenly a woman is at my bedside. She is about my height with short brown hair and she is wearing light blue scrubs. How is she here in the shed? Why aren’t her clothes filthy? I look down at myself and see that I am in a clean looking hospital gown. What is happening? Looking around the room, there is a bedside table and the wheels of the hospital bed. I can’t reconcile my surroundings with where I am. I look up at the woman in confusion. She looks at me with concern and reaches out to touch me. I flinch and pull back from her.
“How did you end up in the floor?” She asks me. “Did you fall? Are you hurt anywhere?”
When I don’t answer, just peer at her in confusion, she takes my hand and says, “You need to get back in bed, Ms. Williams. I need to make sure you haven’t pulled your IV or chest tube out. I came in to check your monitor leads. I think one of the has come off, because it is no longer picking up out at the station.” She helps me back into my bed and is replacing a patch on my chest while she is talking to me in the most soothing tone. She continues her assessment, checking my IV, Chest tube dressing, and moving on to the equipment sitting around my bed.
Hawk returns a few minutes later. The nurse smiles at him and tells him that I have fallen out of bed while he was gone, but that nothing seems to be disturbed or injured by the fall. He looks at me with concern and questions me about what happened. I am back to myself and I try to think up an excuse. I don’t want him to know that I was having an awake nightmare. Where there even Spanish speaking men in my room? Was I hallucinating the whole thing? I can’t let anyone know. They will surely think I am losing my mind and move me to the psych ward.
“I just got too close to the edge, I guess. I’m just clumsy.” I lie as I look down at my hands. I take the coffee and sip its warmth. I feel guilty for lying, but I can’t take the chance that I’ll be locked up in here. If I can just get away from all this I can get back to normal.
Well now that we are out of the hospital, I am
hoping the nightmares will stop. Once Hawk has made sure the house is locked up after everyone has left, we head to the bedroom. We take turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed. He hovers outside the door while I am brushing my teeth. I am much stronger now. It is still painful to cough and deep breath, but I am moving around much better. I come out the bathroom and dressed in a night shirt that hits about mid-thigh. I climb into the bed and sink down into the covers to wait for him.
A few minutes later, Hawk emerges from the bathroom in a pair of sleeping pants and no shirt. His muscles ripple as he moves across the room. It’s a sin for anyone to look so good. I’m suddenly nervous. We are completely alone. We have shared a bed for almost 2 weeks now, but always knowing we were not really alone. In the jungle the other men were there. At the hospital, a nurse or doctor could enter the room at any time. Now, it’s just the two of us.
Hawk walks around the bed to the side closest to the door. He pulls the covers back and lays down on his back. After a few minutes, he turns on his side to face me. He is so close I can feel his breath on my face. My body quivers in anticipation. Will he want to simply sleep? Or will he want to take what we started in the jungle further. I know it’s too soon, but I am hoping for the later. I need him, more than I thought would be possible.
“I want you to be comfortable Charlotte. Are you alright with me sleeping here with you? I know we have shared a bed before, but that was different. We always had other people around. I can sleep in the guest room or on the couch, if you aren’t comfortable with this.” Hawk speaks softly.
My heart is full to bursting. He is worried about how I feel about being alone with him. He would give up his comfort for me. I reach out my left hand and place it on the right side of his face. I smile reassuringly at him.
“Thank you for thinking of my comfort above yours. If you want to sleep in the bed next to me, that is exactly where I want you to be. I am more than comfortable with us sharing a bed. I trust you completely. I know we are technically strangers, but still I know you will not hurt me or force anything on me that I am not ready for,” I sigh and scoot closer to him. “Hawk we are not kids; we are adults. We have seen and done enough that we can know what we want. Because we are older, we realize that we don’t have unlimited time. Life is short and it can be gone in the blink of an eye. I learned that firsthand when my husband left this world unexpectedly. After the summer I have had, I will no longer spend time worrying if I should do something or what others think about what I am doing. If it’s something I want, I am going to go for it. If I wait, it could be gone forever.”
Chapter 16
Hawk
“Come here, love.” I demand reaching for her, pulling her close. She snuggles into my embrace. Taking her chin in my hand, I lift it, so she is forced to look at me. I can’t keep the smile from my face as I move in to devour her. I meant to keep is sweet and tender, but once I get a taste of her, I can’t stop myself. The kiss is hard, urgent, and demanding. Pushing my tongue into her mouth she meets me with the same desire. Our tongues dance and duel in a fierce battle. My hand moves of its own accord and cups her breast through her night shirt. Her thin shirt is sliding up her thighs giving me a peak at what lies beneath. My knee instinctively slides between her warm, thick thighs.
She moans as I rub my thigh against her sex. So far she isn’t showing any signs of fear at what we are doing. She is wet and warm against my leg. It takes all my will power to not slide my pants down and sink into her hot folds. I need more of her. Reluctantly I leave her lips and move my lips down her jaw and neck. As I nip, suck, and lick my way down her neck, she arches her neck to give me better access. Her hands move up and down my back. It encourages me to continue and give her more. Pinching her left nipple between my thumb and index finger, I roll it gently then tug on it. Her nipple is hard under my touch, so I lower my head and take it all into my mouth through her shirt. I’m gentle as I don’t want to bring on a flashback. I want the material out of my way, but this is so erotic. She arches eagerly into my mouth. Her hands slide down my back and she squeezes my ass and pulls me into her. My erection is pressing into her moist heat. A growl escapes my throat before I can suppress it. I am about to rip our clothes from our bodies and take her hard and fast when I hear her giggle. Her melodious sound brings me back to reality.
Pulling back, I realize we are both panting like we have run a marathon. Her lips are swollen from our fierce kissing. She has somehow come to be under me, and I shift so my weight is not pressing into her. Her eyes are dilated and full of desire. She is still breathing hard and her hot wet sex seems to be throbbing against my thigh. I want to take her so badly, but I sense a hint of uncertainty. I want there to be no doubt in her eyes when I take her.
“God, you undo me woman. I want to take you, fuck you hard until you are screaming my name with your release. But I don’t want to rush this, to rush us. You are not healed, physically or mentally. I am going to turn you around and hold you next to me. And we are going to sleep, for now. But be warned, soon, very soon, we are going to finish this.” I inform her as I ease her onto her side and pull her back to my front. My left arm slides under her neck to cradle her head on my shoulder. Draping my right arm across her body my hand finds comfort in cupping her large ample breast. My erection throbs against her backside. How am I ever going to be able to sleep with her hot ass on my dick. I lay awake listening to her breathing as it slows, becoming even and regular as sleep overtakes her.
The next week passes without incident. We fall into a sort of routine. We wake early and fix breakfast together. We spend our mornings talking, getting to know each other better. She loves music, all kinds which is something we have in common. She also loves to sing, but insists she sounds terrible. I disagree. Her voice is beautiful. I love hearing her singing with the radio while cooking in the kitchen. She can belt out a country tune or get down with a good ole rock ‘n roll classic. Sometimes, I join in and sing with her.
We don’t always agree on movies. She prefers the sappy love stories while I prefer more action adventure type movies. We both love comedies and mysteries which makes picking a movie a little easier. Neither of us likes horror movies. She commented that I probably seen enough horrors while in combat and she had while working in a hospital that we didn’t need to watch movies about it.
I take Charlotte to see Dr Hancock each day at one in the afternoon. She is uncomfortable talking about her experiences. She fidgets, doesn’t make eye contact, and sighs frequently. Sometimes I sit in on her sessions and others I wait outside while she talks with the doctor. The need to take this away from her is overwhelming, but I can’t change what has happened to her.
After her appointment, we go by headquarters and meet with the men on both teams and our superiors. Bits and pieces of information come to Charlotte during her sessions with Dr Hancock, so we make sure to update them after each appointment. By the time those meetings are over, it’s time for the evening meal. We have picked up take out several times and we have cooked together a few times. Wolf and Caroline invited us over for supper tonight, but Charlotte just couldn’t do it. The lack of sleep is catching up with her. As soon as we came home today, she went straight to bed without even eating.
She isn’t getting much better. Dr Hancock discussed starting some medications today, but Charlotte refused. She said, “It’s too soon to resort to medications. I don’t want to be drugged to forget what happened. I need to learn to deal with it and I will in time. I’m not saying that at some point I might need an antidepressant, but I want to give myself more time to heal naturally.” Dr. Hancock agreed to give her a couple more weeks before starting medications.
Physically she is getting stronger every day. She refuses to take the pain pills more than once a day and only then so she can try to sleep a little. She insists on trying to ‘take care’ of me. She wants to cook, clean, and wash clothes. It has been a challenge to keep her from over doing it. While I know that she can’t just lay around
in bed all day, it doesn’t keep me from wanting to keep her there.
Charlotte has called her children every night to update them on her progress. Justin is still skeptical of me and my intentions. Charlotte has laughed off his constant questions about our housing arrangements. If he were brave enough, he would ask outright if we were having sex, but I think his mother has enough bluff on him to keep him from asking. Sara is another matter altogether. Charlotte has informed her more than once it’s none of her business. We have been getting closer and closer to the final act.
Just last night we got carried away in lust. I only meant to kiss her goodnight, but my hand slipped under her t-shirt and began to gently caress her skin. My hand moved of its own accord to cup her left breast. Her nipple hardened at my touch and she arched up toward the contact. That urged me to keep going. Her breasts are large and soft. So easy to knead and squeeze. They are more than one hand can hold. Her hands are on my head. Her fingers run through my hair, encouraging me to continue my assault on her body. Lifting her shirt, my head slips under the hem to suck her right breast into my mouth. Exploding with desire, I feel her wetness on my thighs as I continue to suck and nip her nipple. My right hand is on her left breast, but I need to touch her essence. My hand leaves her left breast and she moans in protest at the loss of my hand. Her breath hitches when I slide my hand down between her thighs. I grip her mound and caress it, rubbing against her clit, briefly. My fingers slide under her damp panties and slip between her hot, wet folds. A moan escapes my throat at the feel of her slick warm channel.
“You’re so wet for me.” I growled. “So ready for me already.”
She didn’t respond with words, just bucked her hips to meet the thrust of my finger. It’s still painful for her to move, but she is desperate to forget. I place my left hand over her lower abdomen and hold her still, preventing her from moving her hips. I’m not trying to be an asshole but keep her from hurting herself. My finger slides in and out of her hot core, coating it in her essence. Using her moisture as a lubricant my finger circles her clit over and over. Her release is building. The tension is easy to feel as she clamps her walls on my finger. I continue to explore her breasts with my mouth as my finger moves inside her. As she becomes wetter, I add another finger and lazily fuck her with my fingers. My thumb circles around the edge of her clit. She tries to buck her hips to create the contact she needs, but I keep her still, so she doesn’t hurt herself. My hands and lips continue to build her to the boiling point. When I add a third finger to stretch her and fill her completely, she begins to quiver. I work her faster and my thumb circles her clit several times before I press into it hard. It was the final straw, she explodes on my fingers, clamping down on them until it feels as if she will cut off the blood flow, but I continue to move them in and out of her body, dragging out her release. Her head is thrown back with her eyes shut; a long loud moan escaped her throat as she was overcome in her orgasm.