Secondary Impact

by Barbara Ebel

  “Okay, excellent,” Phil said. “When did Ms. Hendersen bring Julia in?”

  “It was months ago, sir. I’m not sure of the date. It should be on my record note which you asked for and I supplied.”

  “And only Ms. Hendersen brought her daughter in? Mr. Tilson has never shown up with his daughter at The Family Therapy Group, correct?”

  “That is correct.”

  “And how much time did you spend with Rachel Hendersen?”

  “Not much at all. We had the usual introductory remarks, she told me what she does and she explained her concern for her daughter and then left me alone with Julia. Almost the entire visit I spent getting to know and talking with Julia.”

  “So you couldn’t have formed some kind of an attachment or empathy with my client? And you’re sure you had no other personal conversations?”

  “She did mention she was doing volunteer work in a children’s hospital. Other than that, it was the briefest of encounters.”

  “Okay, thank you for that. I probed just to make sure you didn’t become partial to the mother who is bringing this issue to court.”

  “Actually, sir, I don’t know what the issue is. I only know of what transpired at that visit.”

  “Then, unless I need to ask you a specific question, why don’t you tell the court what little Julia said to you behind closed doors that day?”

  “Well … where to begin? She was very free with sharing her thoughts about her situation going back and forth between both parents and what occurred at both places. I learned that she spent lots of alone time with her mother but at the Tilson residence she described a more chaotic household. People coming and going and a large, rambunctious dog. Well, actually, the dog was supposed to really be her mother’s.”

  She stopped briefly and licked her lips. “Go on,” Phil said.

  “She said that her mother loved her more and that her father loved some lady more than her. I don’t know if she was referring to a wife. She also said she didn’t want to live with the father at all. What she wants is to be in her mother’s apartment or house or wherever she lives and that she loves her mother the most. I heard it over and over, ‘I want to live with Mommy.’”

  “Wow,” Phil said. “How often do you see this kind of determination in a child this young?”

  “I’ve never seen this kind of ‘determination,’ as you call it. This little girl is sure about what she wants and it’s apparent she’s not enjoying the present situation.”

  Since the judge was hanging on every word, Mark tapped Danny to get his attention. When Danny looked at him, Mark shook his head and Danny’s horror at the testimony caused his heart to thunder in his chest.

  Thinking that all the damage had been done and there was nothing that could make it worse, Mark decided to ask Miriam Kelly a thing or two as well before she left the stand.

  “Miss Kelly,” he said,” you commented yourself that, in all your years of being a therapist, you have not come across a young child as determined as Julia to live with one parent versus the other. And all evidence that we have is that Dr. Tilson is an outstanding family man and surgeon and his character is not up for debate. Didn’t you stop to consider that her strong, adamant desires are abnormal and wonder where do they come from?”

  “Children can latch onto an idea from a pleasurable experience and make it like a fantasy that grows and grows. Somehow Julia loves and trusts her mother so much more.”

  Danny wasn’t a therapist but he thought that Miriam Kelly needed to be on a couch herself to understand her profession better.

  “You still aren’t answering my specific question,” Mark said.

  Kelly gave a shrug of her shoulders and was dismissed from the room. After more reiteration of prior custody history, the judge made it clear their time in court was finished.

  “Mr. Beckett and Mr. Cunningham, I will rule on this situation or change in a very prompt manner. I see the petitioner wants some monetary changes if she is given custody and she also wants Dr. Tilson to pay her legal bills. I will give you my answers soon.”

  Rachel pushed her elbow into Phil. “Don’t forget that one last thing,” she whispered.

  “Your Honor,” Phil said. “We would appreciate a timely ruling. My client will be leaving Nashville for a job relocation and it’s obviously in Julia’s best interest if she goes with her.”

  “You didn’t tell me about that,” the judge said and looked carefully at Rachel. “Not that it changes anything,” he added.

  -----

  Danny tossed and turned for a long time. Eventually he halted rocking the bed like he was in a canoe but how could he sleep when his mind raced like a wound-up clock? The day’s events in the courtroom weighed on him too heavily and the therapist’s words played in his head like a stuck record, that Julia had said multiple times “I want to live with Mommy.”

  He stared up at the ceiling, faint moonshine seeping through the blinds and the light dinner he’d had seemed lodged in his throat. Julia had become a beacon of light in his life and he could not bear to think about losing her.

  “Are you still awake?” Sara asked while turning towards him.

  “I can’t sleep … at all.”

  “Your dad used to say sleep is like a cat. Ignore it and it will come.”

  “Good old Dad. Glad he’s not here right now to know what’s going on with my daughter.”

  “Good night, Danny.”

  “Good night, Sara. Thanks for coming with me today. I love you.”

  Chapter 30

  As Danny waited to see his first patient, he read over the medical paper he and Vance had completed. It had just come back from the medical editor and the upgrade made a smooth difference.

  His nurse walked in and he handed it to her. “Ask them at the front desk to get this in the mail today,” he said. “They already have the cover letter.”

  As Cheryl reached for it, Jeffrey and Matthew came in and Bruce tagged behind them.

  “Nice to see you, Bruce,” Danny said. “The few times you’ve been here recently, we’ve missed each other.”

  “Your staff booked me a half day today as your schedules are booked solid.”

  “I’m certainly glad they oversee all of that,” Danny said. “I realize we run smoothly because of them.” He smiled at Cheryl who still stood there with the medical paper.

  Matthew’s eyes darted back and forth from Danny to Jeffrey. His long brown hair rested on the nape of his neck and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other like he was at a marathon’s starting line. Jeffrey’s hand rested near his chiseled facial features while he did a poor job of suppressing a grin.

  “What?” Danny asked. “I give up … what are you all standing there for?”

  “The three of us have nominated you,” Jeffrey said.

  “Nominated me for what?”

  “The Tennessee Medical Society’s Physician of the Year.”

  “Why did you go and do that?”

  “Humility is one of your strong points,” Bruce chimed in. “The way you have handled milestone cases in the last few years and your contribution to medicine in Tennessee and elsewhere makes you an excellent candidate.”

  “We think that for you,” Matthew said, “it should be more than ‘Physician of the Year.’ It should be an award for the physician of the decade. There’s nothing like that, so we’ve only put your name in for this year.”

  Danny shook his head and stood up. “There are plenty of doctors more deserving than I am. The three of you are certifiably crazy.”

  “Then don’t worry about it,” Jeffrey said, flicking his one long earring. “Just because we’ve put in a proposal, doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.”

  He left to go see patients, Bruce followed him, and Matthew tipped his head before rushing over to the hospital for surgeries.

  “What?” Danny asked Cheryl. “Did you know what they were doing?”

  “I just work here,” she said, feigning ignor
ance. She left on her errand and, with a bemused grin, Danny enjoyed his Norman Rockwell print for just a moment before seeing his first patient of the day.

  -----

  Rachel and Kevin stood side by side. She had his instruments ready for the next case while an orderly went to get their next patient. Between cases, they had both inherited Robert’s obsession with crossword puzzles. Rachel brought them in every day; she’d even bought a book full of them. The best reason to do them, she knew, was to spend time together and enamor him more and more. And besides the sex and the dates, it was working.

  She untied her scrubs, pulled the strings tighter, and made a bow.

  “If we were at your place, I could have tightened those for you,” he whispered.

  She pinched his side. “Tightened them? I hope not. Loosening them and slipping them off me - one leg at a time - would be more like it.” Leaning over the counter on her elbow, she pursed her lips at him.

  “So leave them on and I’ll come over after work and do just that.”

  “Kevin Mcbride, you’re a very accommodating man. I’m so glad I met you.” And I didn’t think you’d be this easy, she thought.

  “I’m lucky for the timing, too,” he said. “And I can’t believe the coincidence that we’ll both be heading west soon.”

  “Yes. And who knows?”

  “Who knows what?”

  “Well, we should look each other up,” she said, tilting her head down as if she was blushing. “But never mind.” She straightened and peered closely at the puzzle, pencil in hand. “I can’t figure this one out at all. What on earth is another word for ‘and’?”

  “What does it say?”

  “It says ‘a word used for the word and.’”

  “That’s crazy. That has to be the most used word in the English dictionary and I can’t recall ever seeing a substitute.”

  They heard the metal noise of a stretcher entering the adjoining OR and the chitchat between the patient, the orderly, and the anesthesiologist. Kevin went outside first while Rachel opened a drawer and pulled out her handbag. After rummaging around, she pulled out a dictionary and even a thesaurus. She had no luck with the latter but liked what she found in the Merriam-Webster. She shoved them back in her bag and penciled in a nine-letter word which fit perfectly.

  Kevin stepped back in after a short discussion with the patient as Rachel began to walk out to confirm the patient’s name, operative procedure, and to assist the anesthesiologist.

  “That was a tough one,” she said.

  “You figured it out?”

  She nodded. “Ampersand.”

  He furrowed his brow. “Never heard of it. And by the way, we should do more.”

  “Do more of what?”

  “Do more than just look each other up when we move out west.”

  -----

  Casey pulled his car into the garage after working an early shift and went to the mailbox as he contemplated going to the gym. It was stuffed as no one had taken the trouble to check it. He grabbed the pile and thumbed through it as he went in the house, seeing a large envelope for Danny from Mark Cunningham.

  Swallowing hard, Casey contemplated calling Danny. If he did, his friend would know that the final determination of Julia’s custody would be awaiting him when he got home. He couldn’t judge what news the packet contained for, unlike his friend, he had less of a feel for family court decisions than Danny did. However, as an observer in the courtroom weeks before, he thought the situation looked grave.

  He paced the kitchen floor and finally decided to call. Knowing ahead of time, Casey thought perhaps the call would soften Danny’s blow if it turned out to be bad news.

  After a few minutes, Cheryl put Danny on the phone.

  “Danny, it’s Casey. I just want to give you a heads up that there’s a large envelope for you from Mark Cunningham.” He stopped pacing. “You there?”

  “Uh … yeah,” Danny said. “Thanks. Thanks for letting me know. See ya later.”

  Casey wondered if he had made the right decision but then brushed the uncertainty aside. What was in the envelope is what mattered.

  -----

  With a heavy heart, Danny opened the car door and started the ignition. He drove slowly at first, headed for home, but found himself circling blocks in the thick downtown area. Not only were the streets thick with 6:00 p.m. traffic but they were busy because of the early evening tourists and the bars, restaurants, and country music venues filling up. The earlier crowd confiscated the best seats for viewing live bands.

  Danny veered his Lexus into the parking garage, walked to the street and began dodging pedestrians, especially the ones holding hands and blocking other people from passing. The river path was several blocks down and he fooled himself into thinking he would go over there to take a stroll.

  Several establishments he passed had catchy sculptures in front of their doors; one even had a good Elvis impersonation and a man took a picture of his girlfriend giving the statue a kiss.

  Danny kept going. On the corner of the next street he stopped and looked past the hired man at the door. The lights were dim inside but he could see a stage with musicians, tables for eating and a large room in the front with a circular bar. The man nodded at him and stepped to the side. Danny certainly qualified as over eighteen and didn’t look to be a troublemaker.

  He walked into the room - the floor, the bar and the ceiling all made out of wood – and pulled up a stool and sat in front of the bartender. Past the room which was half-full of people eating from baskets of food, a country band tried to excite the early crowd with quick guitar strumming and lyrics about kissing a farm girl in the back of a pick-up truck.

  The bartender put a napkin on the counter in front of Danny. “What’ll it be?” he asked.

  “How about a Tennessee-crafted beer?”

  “A Calfkiller Brewery beer is what you want. Their classic,” the thirty-something bartender said.

  Danny sipped the drink, thinking it didn’t matter if he stopped off here because the paperwork he had to open at home wasn’t going anywhere. And what difference did it make if he ripped it open anyway? He hadn’t received a phone call from Cunningham announcing some kind of victory for Julia to continue with the present arrangement.

  After the beer went down like a liquid slider, the attentive bartender placed another one down and also slid a bowl of seasoned popcorn over to him.

  Danny knew this was it; the final straw. By some miracle, he’d had more time with Julia than he’d ever dreamt possible and had come to love her like his other girls. Oh, how he loved her; her beautiful eyes, her zesty spirit, her fast little-girl steps. She didn’t even qualify as a toddler anymore.

  The man behind the bar raised his eyebrows at him. “Like the choice? Want to try a different flavor?”

  “Tell you what,” Danny said. “I’ll continue to support our own state. I’ll take a Tennessee whiskey.”

  “Coming right up,” he said. In a few minutes, he placed down another new glass. “Here’s a Jack for ‘ya.”

  As the bar and the restaurant area began filling to capacity, Danny held onto saving his spot at the bar like a kid hoarding his seat in the back of the classroom away from the teacher. Meanwhile, the lyrics up front had changed to a country dude stripping his clothes off on a riverbank with the sheriff’s daughter.

  Swirling around the whiskey, Danny didn’t know how many he’d had; all he knew and cared about at the moment was Julia. The situation wouldn’t be this way if it weren’t for the poor girl’s necromancer of a mother. But he blew off Rachel in his mind. She wasn’t even worthy of his thoughts. Julia was. His precious Julia. How could he bear to lose her? God, you’re being mean, he thought. I already lost Melissa and Sara had a miscarriage. Please, not another one, even if it’s by a different way.

  He didn’t stop drinking and the bartender wasn’t counting either. In another two hours, after coming out of the men’s restroom, he sat on the bench in the hallway and di
aled Casey’s number.

  “Danny, where are you? I know you’re not on call and office hours are way over.”

  “Casey, can … can you come get me? I can’t drive.”

  Chapter 31

  By the time Casey pulled into the garage at home, he had decided what he would do with Danny. Mary didn’t know about her brother’s night of excess drinking and would be sleeping. Sara was aware of the details, but not the girls. Casey wanted it to stay that way and told Sara he’d keep Danny upstairs and put him to bed on their couch.

  Using all his upper body strength, Casey wrapped a grip around Danny’s chest and maneuvered him out of the front passenger seat. He held up his friend and supported his every stumbling step into his part of the house. When they got in front of the couch, Casey lowered him, took his shoes off and fluffed a pillow on one end. Danny went supine without much help as Casey straightened out his legs.

  "Bad, isn’t it?” Danny mumbled.

  Casey sat on the edge of the table. “What, the judge’s decision?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you want me to open it and read it?”

  “Yeah.”

  Casey went to the counter, ripped open the envelope, and read Mark’s cover letter. He skimmed over the thick court document and scowled. From the custody decision to the financial aspects of hefty child support to paying Rachel’s legal bills, it was all really bad news and he muttered an expletive against Rachel.

  Back at the couch, he sat down again and leaned over to Danny. “You’re right, buddy. But get some sleep.”

  Danny’s face crumpled as he closed his eyes, hoping to sink further into an alcoholic stupor where he didn’t have to think about it.

  -----

  Danny put on a new white lab coat with his name embroidered in a different color. The thick red thread was a lot cleaner and readable than the medium blue that the group had been using. He had a brighter outlook lately after he’d finally dealt with and accepted the court’s ruling. And he was glad he headed his group and was making good business decisions, especially since Julia would be leaving his household to live out-of-town with her mother.