by Lynn Mann
I felt Fitt’s delight as she encouraged Flame to do whatever she felt she could. As she took hold of a small chunk of Flame’s mane, I nudged Fitt’s mind as gently as I could with my offer of help. She accepted immediately and welcomed me into her body with her. I almost recoiled, but managed to switch my focus to assessing what Fitt could do with her – as it felt to me – maimed body in order to prevent it from being a burden to her horse. The toughness of Fitt’s skin prevented her from being very flexible. Her posture was hunched, which meant that keeping her weight off of Flame’s forequarter would be difficult and supporting her horse would be even more so. Fitt’s legs were short and immensely muscular, meaning that they couldn’t easily wrap around Flame’s sides to help her to lift.
Fitt’s body followed my suggestion to adjust her upper body angle so that she was leaning back more, and less of a burden to Flame’s forequarters. I was pleased to feel that sitting deeply into her pelvis was something that came naturally to Fitt, giving her a stable anchoring point. She dropped her legs around Flame’s sides as long as they could extend, and squeezed gently. Flame leapt forward and shuddered again, before walking on. Fitt’s body came along with me as I turned it to the right, bringing Flame to walk on a circle – a way of working that was familiar to her and would hopefully give her some confidence. It did. She walked forward more surely. Once I had shown Fitt how to ask Flame to turn in both directions, adjust circle size and stop, I withdrew from her, leaving her in no doubt as to the importance of keeping her weight away from Flame’s front end. Then I watched again.
Fitt focused intently on practising what I had shown her and Flame was steadily drawn into focusing with a matching intensity, on responding to what Fitt’s body asked of her. I felt something begin to shift. Flame’s stifle was changing! The fear that had been trapped there was oozing out of it and, bereft of any notice from either Fitt or Flame, dissipating into the ether. Flame suddenly noticed that her right leg could move more freely, yet still not as much as her left one. She would need help from a Tissue-Singer, I realised. The fear that had blocked the connective tissues from realigning healthily was gone, but they had forgotten where that healthy alignment was – and I was too far away to sing them the intention necessary for them to find it.
He Who Is Peace needed no sound, Infinity reminded me.
My heart leapt in my chest. Justin and I had once watched Adam grow plants to three times their size in little more than a minute and when Justin questioned him about it, he told us that he had used tree-singing to grow them. I’d observed that he hadn’t actually sung, to which he’d replied that he had sung, just not out loud. I smiled as I realised that I’d drawn Adam and Peace to me with my thoughts of them. I absorbed the information I needed from Adam and relished his amusement that finally, I knew what he’d done. He knew of my love and gratitude as he and Peace drifted away.
I let Flame know that I could heal her stifle if she wanted me to. I felt her eagerness for me to begin and focused my Awareness on the connective tissues in her stifle joint. I felt where they were too tight and where more tightening was needed. I tuned into the tissues just as I had done so many times with plants when assessing their usefulness as cures in herbalism. I was the tissues. I allowed my energy to resonate with them instead of using sound to do it. The healing was immediate; since I was resonating with them myself, I merely had to think of the alterations they needed to make and it was done. I shook my head in wonder and withdrew from Flame.
She was sound. Sound, ecstatic... and tired. Fitt slid immediately from her back. She went to Flame’s head and held out her hand, tentatively. Flame sniffed it and then proceeded to sniff up a delighted Fitt’s arm to her shoulder, before blowing into her ear. She embraced every detail of Fitt’s personality in her Awareness as she sniffed all the way down to Fitt’s feet, occasionally pausing to draw in a deeper breath as she took in Fitt’s physicality. Finally, she knew Fitt’s body and personality as well as she knew her soul. I felt something slide into place between them – their bond.
I had closed my eyes in order to concentrate on Flame’s healing and as I opened them, I noticed how tired I was. An ashen-faced Aleks stood in front of me, oblivious of the large drops of rain that penetrated the leafy canopy above where he stood and splattered the top of his head.
‘Aleks, are you alright?’
Aleks shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think I am.’
‘Flame has been wanting to get past the fear that’s been holding her back, but like you, she couldn’t find a way to do it. Not until she felt the call of something that was bigger, more important to her than her fear. And you’ve seen, she’s done it. You can too.’
Aleks went even paler. ‘I know her fear was great. I felt it. But Am, mine is greater. It shouldn’t be, I know that, but it is.’
‘Flame’s fear was based on something that actually happened to her. Yours is based on something that you worry might happen to you and there is the difference – fear of the actual has a limit but fear of the imagined can only be limited only by your imagination, which is limitless. But fear is fear. Great or small, it can be eclipsed by love.’ As the words left my mouth, I felt as if Infinity were speaking through me.
We are speaking through us. We are Infinity! I smiled.
‘My fear can’t,’ said Aleks. ‘That’s what I’ve learnt today. If seeing what those foals achieved, almost feeling it, can’t eclipse my fear, what can?’
‘Your worst nightmare,’ I told him. ‘When it presents itself, you’ll know what to do, just as Flame did. Her fear became secondary to her destiny when the time was right and so will yours.’
‘My worst nightmare? I’m going to have to live my worst nightmare? How do you know that?’ Aleks squeaked.
‘You’ll only have to live it if you choose to. Your other choice will be to make it something other than your worst nightmare and then it will transform into something else, something wonderful, just as it has for Flame. Don’t panic, Aleks, just think over everything you’ve experienced today, let it settle and know that you have a way forward out of this. You know my mind, now. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.’
Aleks nodded, slowly. Nexus appeared at his side and rested her chin gently on his shoulder.
‘Come on, we need to get back to camp,’ I said. ‘Give me a leg up?’
We made our way back to camp with Aleks splashing miserably through the water next to Nexus. At least the rain seemed to be getting lighter.
Way to go Am, that’s another outstanding day’s work under your belt if you were wearing one, or indeed any clothes, but you’re tired. Justin’s thoughts were like balm to my soul.
I am. And so are you. You need to rest for longer at a time.
I rest long enough. It’s not just me who wants to reach you all, Gas does too and you know what he’s like, if I don’t keep up with him, he’s just as likely to go on without me.
I chuckled. Well at last we know Adam’s secret, wicked old man keeping it from us!
I felt Justin’s affection for Adam match mine. He kept it from us until we were ready for it. I miss him. But at the moment, I’m more concerned about you, he told me.
I’m fine, we’re nearly at camp and the rain’s easing. Remind me to run for the hills next time Sonja’s concerned about there being a drought!
Rest easy, Am.
The rain was almost drizzle when the camp finally came into sight. Rowena rushed out to meet me with a blanket, which she wrapped around my shoulders after dragging me down from Infinity. ‘Well done Am, we all felt what happened with Flame,’ she said and then lowering her voice, added, ‘it was a risk allowing Aleks with you. I haven’t delved deeper to find out why you did it, but I assume there was method in your madness?’
I nodded and said quietly, ‘we’re heading towards a situation that will be a challenge for all of us. Nothing the rest of us can’t handle, but Aleks wouldn’t have stood a chance. He stands one now, small though it is.’
‘For you to call something a challenge, I’m thinking it’s probably something that everyone else would call a catastrophe, but we’re all learning to expect the unexpected these days,’ said Rowena. ‘Talking of which, tissue-singing without the singing? We’re just getting people used to the idea of multiskilling and now we’ve found a new way to befuddle them? More interesting times ahead then!’
I nodded. Lots more interesting times ahead.
Seventeen
Obstruction
The rain continued to ease during the evening and by the time we settled down to sleep, a breeze was chasing the last of the clouds away. Large water drops, dislodged from the leaves above us, made loud splatting noises on our waterproof sheeting, causing us to jump and rest less easily than when the rain had been coming down in a steady rhythm.
I thought to begin with that it was one such disturbance that roused me just as dawn was breaking, but as I came to properly, I felt the Kindred Elder’s presence at the edge of my mind. Once she knew that I was Aware of her, she explored my mind for recent events. Her interest lingered on everything that had occurred between Fitt and Flame and then flared when she learnt that I had performed healing without the need to produce sound. She was unable to hide the importance of this to her kind. I felt her take a firm hold of her mind to prevent herself revealing anything else. I kept very still and quiet, hoping I reassured her that I wouldn’t wonder about her revelation. I felt her relax and then she was gone, leaving a very definite sense of purpose behind her.
I was wide awake now. I slipped out of my bedding and stoked the fire, adding more firewood before putting the kettle over it to boil.
‘You just refuse to rest, don’t you?’ Vickery whispered as she lowered herself to sit beside me.
I chuckled. ‘It’s not that I refuse, so much as I don’t seem to be getting much opportunity at the moment; if it’s not one thing that grabs my attention, it’s another.’
‘What about the others? Can’t they take some of the load off of you?’ said Vickery.
‘They can and they do, but I guess the fact that it was my intention that started all of this means that I attract a lot of what happens. It was the Kindred Elder this morning; she wanted to catch up on everything to do with Fitt and Flame and then she picked up on the fact that healing can happen without singing. It seems to be something that will be really important to the Kindred,’ I replied.
‘And not just to them. I can’t believe you did it, Am. Is it something I can learn to do, or is it something that can only be done if you’re Aware?’
‘To do it from a distance as I did yesterday, you’d need to be Aware, but you’ll be able to heal that way when the patient is in front of you right away, that’s what Adam did when Justin and I saw him grow plants using silent tree-singing.’
Vickery sighed. ‘If the patient’s in front of me, then I might as well just sing. To be able to heal from a distance though, that would be amazing. I’m limiting myself, aren’t I? Not being Aware?’
‘There’s a lot that would be easier for you if you were Aware, definitely.’
‘Like being able to cope with whatever catastrophe is coming our way next? Sorry, I was coming back from the waste hole yesterday as you got back with Aleks and I heard you telling Rowena.’
I paused to choose my words. ‘Vic, you’re close to achieving the potential you saw for yourself when you bonded to Verve, you know you are; you throw yourself into everything we do, no matter how weird or challenging. The situation that we’ll be walking into will give you the chance to measure yourself and hence give you the final proof that you’re She Who Is Verve. You’re more than capable of stepping up to the challenge whether you’re Aware or not, but at the same time, Adam surpassed the potential he saw for himself when he bonded with Peace and so can you. You don’t have to limit yourself if you don’t want to.’
Vickery nodded, thoughtfully. ‘Verve’s close to achieving perfect balance now after what you all did with the wild horses yesterday, I can feel him being drawn along the path towards it. He’d love it if I found it alongside him, I know he would. I’ll think on what you’ve said, Am.’
I nodded. ‘It’s exciting isn’t it, what’s happening with the horses?’
Exciting and deafening, Justin broke in. Quinta’s just been using me as target practice for all of the students who are newly Aware – they all homed in on me at the same time to tell me what happened yesterday and my mind jangled so much I nearly passed out! Fair warning, she’s planning on moving them on to you guys next.
Jangled? Is that even a word? I asked and just about had time to tell Vickery of Justin’s and my exchange when I realised that “jangled” was a perfect word to describe the assault Justin had just experienced; a cacophony of excited thoughts burst into my mind, seemingly oblivious of the fact that I couldn’t possibly make even one of them out from the others.
‘Aaaaaaaaah!’ Rowena shouted and sat up in her bedding, holding her head.
Aleks sat bolt upright. ‘What’s happening? Is this it? Is this my worst nightmare?’
‘No Aleks, it’s mine. What seems like a hundred people are all shouting in my head at the same time,’ moaned Holly.
‘FOR THE LOVE OF WINTER, GET LOST!!!’ Marvel shouted, also holding his head, and all went quiet.
‘What on earth was Quinta thinking, letting them all do that at the same time?’ Sonja said to nobody in particular.
Justin’s thoughts were for us all. I don’t think she’s got enough time to be thinking much at all at the moment – seven more horses and their Bond-Partners achieved perfect balance at The Gathering yesterday. The rest of the horses are all focused on what they can feel happening in the collective consciousness and what they know they’ll be able to achieve now, and their Bond-Partners are hopping around with excitement and demanding extra coaching from Quinta, Feryl and any of the others who are now in a position to teach. It seems that The Gathering is a very happy place to be at the moment, but Quinta’s got her work cut out keeping those who are newly Aware grounded enough to be of help to her – we all know how hard that is in the beginning.
We could show her and them the exercises we developed to help us to be centred, and then they can all help each other as we did, I thought to Justin, and my friends nodded around me.
I explained to Vickery and Aleks the help that Quinta would need from us that day and Vickery immediately said that she would go hunting and Aleks would haul water and gather firewood, while the rest of us helped those at The Gathering.
Marvel said, ‘we’ve got no meat left at all, so I’ll hunt with Vic, but I’ll still help you all at the same time.’
‘You all heard the man,’ said Rowena, ‘he can multi-task. We’ll remember that the next time we set up camp and there are more jobs to do than just lighting the camp fire.’
‘You just don’t learn, do you Marvel?’ Aleks said. ‘Never give her ammunition. Never.’
We all laughed.
It transpired that Marvel wasn’t the only one required to multi-task that day; in addition to asking Quinta’s students questions, via thought, whilst she gave them exercises to do that kept them focused on their physical surroundings – and finding that the technique helped them to improve their ability to be more centred every bit as quickly as it had us – I was repeatedly asked by Fitt to help her as she worked with Flame.
Don’t you think you’ve ridden enough for today? I asked her when she stopped being able to ignore her fatigue and soreness.
Flame doesn’t think so, you can feel her determination as well as I, Fitt replied. She knows exactly what she is aiming for and she is determined that we get there together. I will not let her down. Ride through me again? I know I sit into my pelvis enough and I can use my legs well enough for the little support that Flame needs from me, but I still cannot seem to find the adjustment I need to keep my upper body stable.
I sighed. Everything was happening so fast now. Whereas Justin and I had had over a ye
ar to come around to the idea of being centred, the latest Horse-Bonded to become Aware would achieve it within days or weeks. And where most of us had had months to build the strength and confidence to deal with whatever issues had held us back from achieving perfect balance, Fitt had beaten a path to her stumbling block on only her second day of riding. But then, she was Flame’s Bond-Partner. They had already achieved the impossible just by bonding and working together as they now were, and they were matched in determination and courage. It was just as well.
I can feel the problem, I told her. If you sit up so that you feel you are straight, your weight is too far forward because of your hunched posture and you’re unbalancing Flame. If you lean back as I showed you yesterday, Flame can lift more but you’re not stable and so you can’t support either her or yourself. Normally, I would be asking you to lift and open your chest, but there is something very strong there which will resist you doing it.
The Kindred are all built like this. We were bred with ape genes, Fitt replied.
That has always been the excuse so far. I almost shocked myself with my response, knowing that it was pure Infinity. We were Infinity. My horse responded from within me with a subtle wave of love, just enough to keep Fitt’s shock from reverberating through my being.