Finally, Forever
Page 17
THE END
Finally, Forever Playlist:
Omaha – Counting Crows
Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
Iko Iko – The Belle Stars
Cameras – Matt and Kim
Two Atoms in a Molecule – Noah and the Whale
Everlasting Arms – Vampire Weekend
Call it Off – Tegan and Sara
Samsonite Man – Fashawn
Faith – George Michael
The End of That – Plants and Animals
2,000 Miles – KT Tunstall
Ho Hey – The Lumineers
Unless It’s Kicks – Okkervil River
Your Love – The Outfield
Bye Bye Bye – Plants and Animals
Hospital – Counting Crows
La Cienega Just Smiled –Ryan Adams
A Murder of One – Counting Crows
My Favorite Song – KaiserCartel
**The last song on this playlist, and what I consider to be Gray and Dylan’s theme song for the entire series is:
Everlasting Love – U2
Finally, Forever deleted scene:
(In the story, this scene would have appeared near the end of the book, a week before Serena and Mike’s wedding—before Gray surprises Dylan in Los Angeles.)
Gray
My dad and I walk into The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Scottsdale, Arizona. It’s ninety-five degrees outside, and it isn’t even 10 am yet. My dad walks to the counter to order iced coffees before we drive out to an Audi dealership to look at some new cars in the showroom.
My agent called me yesterday and announced my signing bonus. It’s higher than most people’s yearly salaries. My dad insisted I invest in a new car, and I really can’t argue with him. My hatchback has seen enough years and miles to be considered suitable for Dylan. I plan on giving it to her. Besides, you can’t live in LA without a car—it’s like not having legs.
We walk inside the coffee shop and I’m amazed at all the tan, toned, beautiful people. For a second I feel like I’m standing in line for an audition. Scottsdale is the ritzy burrow of Phoenix—it’s like living inside a television sitcom where everyone could be a runway model. Girls in halter tops and short skirts and high heels stand in line to order, looking at cell phones or typing on cell phones or talking on cell phones. A few of them glance over at me and smile, these flirty smiles highlighted with white teeth. I smile back and a feeling of relief comes over me because I can officially say I’m not single. I don’t have to strike up a conversation with these girls, I don’t have to wonder about them or build up expectations and be disappointed. Some people are great at being single, they thrive, but I always preferred being in a relationship. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a twin—I was used to having this other half at my side all the time. I was used to someone constantly aware and assessable and that became my idea of normal.
I hear somebody shout my name in the coffee shop. I turn and look over in the corner by the front windows and recognize Brandon Stack, an old friend and baseball teammate from high school. I almost didn’t recognize him. He’s wearing a suit, the complete opposite attire of the usual mesh shorts and t-shirts that epitomize the fashion style of a typical college athlete. I walk over to meet him and he stands up and reaches out his hand and we slap palms before we shake.
“Dude, what are you doing in town?” Brandon asks me. “Shouldn’t you be in New Mexico playing ball?” The last time we talked was a few years ago, when Brandon helped me train to get back in shape to play college baseball. We fell out of touch when I went away to school.
“I’m heading back soon,” I say. “What are you doing here?” I figured he’d be playing professionally by now. He was MVP of our high school state-winning baseball team and had a full-ride to play in college.
“Just hanging out,” he says. I notice that he’s put on some weight in his face and his stomach. He doesn’t have the typical summer tan we all get from playing over a hundred games under the sun.
“You’re not playing baseball,” I say.
“No, man, I had two shoulder surgeries last year.”
Oh, shit. “Are you red shirting?” I ask.
He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve had too many injuries. I was ineligible the last two years for dislocated shoulders, sprains, you name it. I think I’m officially banned from the majors. I have the injury curse.” He laughs but it’s forced and there’s an uncomfortable silence that starts to settle. How am I supposed to respond to that? Hey, sorry to hear all your lifelong dreams will never come true. That really sucks.
“So, you’re finishing school?” I ask.
“Nah, my dad started up a real estate company a few years ago, so I joined him. I’m making a ton of money,” he beams. “Probably just as much as I would have made in the pros. And I don’t have to deal with all the physical abuse. I definitely prefer this career.”
The dull glaze in his eyes contradicts his words. I can see a frustrated edge, when you realize life doesn’t hand you anything, that you just need to enjoy every moment of success when you have it because everything is temporary.
“Good for you,” I tell him because I think that’s what he needs to hear.
“Besides, there’s more to life than baseball. Right?” He laughs again. “I remember that girl you were with a few years ago, on Mill Ave? She said that to me. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing a person could say.”
A strange déjà vu comes over me. I remember that day. It was the first time I had ever hung out with Dylan. I remember being so envious of Brandon when we ran into him on Mill Ave, wishing we could trade lives, jealous at everything he had compared to everything I had lost. I even remember being embarrassed to be seen with Dylan, like you’re embarrassed to run into someone when you’re in your pajamas, or tired or hung-over—when you’re not at your best. What I hadn’t realized yet was that when I’m with Dylan, I am at my best.
“I remember,” I say. “Whatever happened to that girl you were with?” I ask him, remembering the supermodel he had glued to his side that day.
“What girl?” he asks.
I smile. He forgot about the girl he was dating and yet he still remembers something Dylan said. “Never mind,” I say.
“What are you up to?” he asks me. I open my mouth and I’m about to rattle off that I signed with the Dodgers and my dad and I are going car shopping with my bonus check. But I remember why Dylan said those words to Brandon on Mill Ave. She always roots for the underdog. She said something ridiculous because she was supporting me, lifting me up, making sure I could walk away with my head held high. Maybe I need to pass the karma along.
“I’m just spending the day with my dad,” I decide to tell him.
“Great!” he says, his eyes light. “Hey, if you’re ever looking for a house in Phoenix, I can hook you up.” He hands me his card with a well-executed draw and follows up with a savvy, salesperson smile. I wonder if he practices the fake smile in front of the mirror. It slips out as easily as his business card.
I take the card and slide my sunglasses down, over my eyes, before I put it in my pocket.
“Good to see you, Brandon,” I say.
He walks back to his table and sits behind a laptop.
I turn and meet my dad and he hands me an iced coffee and we walk outside into the hot, dry air. I don’t feel better than Brandon, or smarter or even luckier. I just feel like we are shaped so much by the events in our lives, but even more than that, we’re shaped by the people that come in and out of our lives. I don’t necessarily hope good things happen to Brandon. I hope a good person happens to him. I hope he’s smart enough to realize it when it does. And to hold on.
Be sure to check out the other companion books in the Gray and Dylan saga, FIRST COMES LOVE and SECOND CHANCE. To find out more about Katie Kacvinsky and her books, check out her author website:
www.katiekacvinskybooks.wordpress.com
Katie Kacvinsky, Finally, Forever