I Have a Voice

by Bob G Bodenhamer

  Identify experience to be changed.

  Clarify the internal movie of this experience.

  Develop a desired outcome picture.

  Link the two representations.

  Swishing the pictures.

  Swish five times.

  Test.

  1. Identify experience to be changed.

  Re-access your usual movie of fearing you will block in your very next conversation. Make sure that you are associated in this movie. If you are seeing yourself in the picture that means you are dissociated, so actually be in yourself, looking out through you own eyes in the picture, seeing what is around you.

  Notice: What are you aware of just before you block? What do you see, hear, and feel that initiates your fear or anxiety of blocking? Make sure you have a sufficiently detailed image of that situation.

  2. Clarify the internal movie of this experience.

  You may be unaware of what exactly the trigger is for blocking. It is as if you have been on automatic pilot to some extent and the pattern operates out of habit. You can bring into awareness some of the cues by testing for key elements in the movie which create the fear of blocking.

  Start by noticing the visual aspects, the qualities of the picture: size, distance, brightness, distance, color, and so on, and then systematically vary each quality to see which produces a significant change in the way you feel about the experience. For example, if you send the picture further away does that alter how you feel about the memory? What if you change the size of the picture or put a border round it? What happens when you make black and white? Out of focus? (Use the list in Figure 4.2 to help you here.) Then find which sound cues make a difference. What happens when you change the voice qualities or tonalities? What if you change the speed, or vary the pitch?

  Something in this cue image triggers your response of fearing blocking – it’s already swishing your mind to a very unresourceful state. What you are going to do is utilize this same ability to swish yourself into a resourceful state by changing the image. Instead of fear, you can have that cue image generate calm or courage.

  3. Develop a desired outcome picture.

  There are contexts in your life when you speak fluently.

  When do you speak fluently? Re-access a movie of these occasions.

  What would your self-image of being fluent in all contexts look, sound and feel like? You already know something about the qualities of the image which created blocking, so those should be absent in your movie of fluency.

  You are going to create an enhanced image of the fluent you, by amplifying the positive cues that let you know you are in a good state. As in step 2, adjust the qualities of this image so that you feel even better. One difference is that you are going to see this image dissociated – you can see yourself in it. Create a picture for the new you – the you that would see when you no longer have that blocking behavior.

  Do you like this new picture? Do you find it compelling? Attractive?

  The fluency image should draw you toward it. Edit the image so that it becomes even more attractive. Add in the qualities of confidence, assertiveness, power, kindness, and so on, so that this picture compels you to move toward it.

  4. Link the two representations.

  Beginning with the cue picture of the fear of blocking from step 2. Make it big and bright.

  Figure 6.4: The Swish Pattern

  Into the lower left corner of that picture put a small, dark image of the second picture from step 3. This is the dissociated image of the new you with the qualities of fluency (See Figure 6.4).

  You are fully associated in the first picture and dissociated in the second. You do not need to see this second picture in detail; you just need to know it’s there in the lower corner.

  5. Swish the pictures.

  Now you are going to do two things simultaneously. One is to take the large bright picture of you fearing blocking and quickly make it small and dark. You can do this by sending it off into the far distance, so that it becomes no more than a dot. At the same time, make the small dark image of the fluent you large and bright so that it fills the space vacated by the previous image. Do this very quickly. Remember, the mind learns fast.

  As the clinician, you can assist the PWS in swishing the images by making a soft swishing sound as they do it.

  Let the picture of the new fluent you for whom blocking is no problem swish in and completely cover the screen of your mind. Juice it up so that it is there in 3-D and coded in the ways that your mind knows is real, compelling, and attractive. You do all of this very quickly, in a fraction of a second.

  When you have done that, clear the screen. Either close your eyes and blank out the screen, or open your eyes and look around.

  6. Swish five times.

  Now, do it again. Go back to the linked pictures and repeat this process. Clear your mental screen after each swish.

  Do this procedure at least five times.

  7. Test.

  The last step is to test that this has worked. Think back to that cue picture that used to set you off and trigger that state of fearing blocking. Notice what happens now as you do that.

  As you think about that old trigger, does your mind now immediately go to the new picture of the you for whom fluency is the norm? If so, that means you’re done. You have successfully swished your mind so that it now has the new link. If not, then you need more practice.

  Variations

  There are other ways of exchanging the images.

  Make the cue picture of the fear of blocking associated and big and bright right in front of you. (Be in the picture. Do not see yourself, just see the other events as if there.)

  Place a small, dark and dissociated picture of the “you” for whom blocking is no problem out on the horizon. (In the resourceful picture, see yourself having the resource.)

  Swish the images by zooming the cue picture out to the horizon, making it smaller and darker until it becomes a tiny black dot. At the same time, zoom in the image of fluency, making it bigger and brighter so that it completely fills up the space where the old image was. Make it 3-D and very appealing.

  Do this really fast. Repeat five or six times faster and faster and test.

  Another way is to imagine putting the desired image out in front of you on a piece of elastic. Imagine a strong elastic band around your head, and the desired image, small and neat, as the pellet in a catapult. Hold that image in the elastic and pull the elastic back (actually use your arm as you imagine doing this). When it is at its farthest reach, when you are ready, suddenly let go so that the new image slams into your forehead. Feel the impact as this image replaces what was there before!

  “Yes” and “No”

  This section is about regaining your power by saying Yes to fluency and No to disfluency. This variation of the Swish Pattern uses verbal swishes. Actually all of the patterns involve saying No to what you don’t want and Yes to what you do want – which in itself is a swishing process. However, no technique works for everyone all the time so your toolbox for change needs several tools.

  Congruent “Yes” and “No”

  Can you hold a thought in your mind that you don’t believe? Sure you can. I can hold the thought that the sun will come up in the west in the morning – but I don’t believe it. I can hold a thought that when I die I will be worth a billion dollars but I sure don’t believe it. Well, what distinguishes a thought from a belief? Actually, it is quite simple. A belief is a thought that you have said Yes to.

  When you congruently say Yes to a thought, you associate into that thought. The effect of saying Yes is to put you inside the thought, as it were, to accept it instead of just thinking about whatever it was. The more often you say Yes to a thought, the more real it becomes, the more it features in your model of the world. A belief which is integrated into your system of meaning influences your thinking and behavior. For example, if you say Yes to the belief that you can be fluent in all contexts, then you get on and do it. I
f it just remains a thought – which is often the case with much that you read in Self-Help books – you are not committed to doing anything. By committing yourself, by saying Yes, you make it real and become sufficiently motivated to take action to change the behavior.

  The reverse is also true. You can change your behavior, become uncertain, unmotivated by converting a belief back into a thought by saying No to it. Again, this may take some repetition. But guess what? It works! I have had several people state, “It can’t be that simple!” Well, yes, it is that simple. A key aspect of all behavior change is saying No to what you don’t want and saying Yes to what you do want. If you can congruently accept or reject a belief – with the whole of your body, mind, and spirit – you have the means to change your behavior at will.

  How many beliefs did you once hold that you no longer subscribe to? I use to believe that Santa Claus came down the chimney, but I don’t believe that anymore. Gradually and painfully I gathered enough evidence to say No to that belief. Now note that I said, “I gathered enough evidence.” I changed that belief into a thought by saying No to it in stages. I started to become uncertain, and this was reinforced by my peers and by my parents who sort of admitted that they had been responsible for all the presents. But hey, you can give yourself a huge present by saying Yes to fluency, and No to stuttering and blocking. Are there any reasons for not doing this?

  Exercise 6.3: The No to Yes Pattern

  Use this process for changing your current limiting beliefs about stuttering and blocking. This technique provides a quick and effective way of removing any limiting beliefs and of installing empowering beliefs which support your commitment to success in fluency. This pattern for decommissioning old programs is one of the PWS’s favorites.

  Preparation: Check the ecology for this pattern before you use the process. You need to ensure that you have a top-notch belief that you want to confirm as being true for you.

  What enhancing and empowering beliefs would you really like to have running that would allow you to say a great big “No” to those limiting beliefs around blocking and stuttering? Which of those beliefs stands in your way the most?

  Have you had enough of it? Or do you need more pain?

  When you no longer have that belief, is that OK with all parts of you?

  Will it be OK to not have that belief in your family life, work life and social life?

  What empowering belief would you like to have in its place?

  What could you say a great big “Yes” to instead having that old limiting belief?”

  As you think about having that new belief, is it OK with all parts of you?

  Will it be OK to have that new belief in your family life, work life and social life?

  For example:

  I will say “No” to believing that I am a failure because I block and stutter.

  I will say “Yes” to believing that I am innately a person of worth.

  Overview

  Get a No – Access a good strong No!

  Say “No!” to the limiting belief.

  Access a strong and robust Yes!

  Say “Yes!” to the enhancing belief.

  YES the “Yes!” repeatedly and put into the future.

  1. Get a No – Access a good strong No!

  Think of something that you can say “No!” to, with every fiber of your body, in a way that is fully congruent. For example: Would you push a little child in front of a speeding bus, just for the fun of it? Would you eat a bowl of disgusting filth?

  Say that “No!” repeatedly until you can notice how you image that. Take a mental snapshot of it.

  Anchor your No! with a with a physical gestures. Feel the No in your body; hear your voice saying “No!”

  2. Say “No!” the limiting belief.

  Feel all of this powerful “No!” fully as you think about that stupid, useless, limiting belief (for example: “I am afraid I will block”).

  And you can keep on saying “No!” to that limiting belief until you begin to feel that it no longer has any power to run your programs, or that it has no more room in your presence or in your mind.

  And how many more times, with what voice, tone, gesturing, do you need to totally disconfirm that old belief so that you know deep inside that it will no longer control your behavior?

  3. Access a strong and robust Yes!

  Think about something that every fiber of your being says “Yes!” to without any question or doubt. (For example: “I love my children”. It doesn’t matter where you get the Yes so long as it is a powerful Yes!)

  Notice the qualities of your Yes! and amplify those qualities to make this Yes! even more positive.

  Anchor your Yes! with a different physical gesture. Feel the Yes! in your body. Hear your voice saying “Yes!”

  4. Say “Yes!” to the enhancing belief.

  And feeling that “Yes!” even more fully, utter it repeatedly to that empowering belief that you want. For example, “I speak calmly and fluently.”

  Do you want this? “Yes!” Really?

  How many more times do you need to say “Yes!” right now, in order to feel that you have fully welcomed it into your presence?

  5. YES the “Yes!” repeatedly and put into the future.

  This is only an exercise. Do you want to keep this!

  You really want this?

  Would this improve your life?

  Would it be valuable to you?

  Figure 6.5: “No” to “Yes”

  The Drop Down Through pattern

  From the many ways of creating change, those patterns which I have found work well with PWS are the ones included in this book. Although they address the specific issue of blocking and stuttering, they can easily be adapted for wide general usage. With so many to choose from, how do you decide which to use? Which is going to work most efficiently for the particular person you are with right now? That is a difficult question to answer because it depends on that person in front of you: how does change happen for them; how motivated are they to change? Do they really want to change; are they ready to let go of the benefits their old behavior provided? Your choice also depends on how well you understand their model of the world, because that affects your way of intervening in it.

  However, if I were to suggest one pattern that works extremely effectively with people who block, it would be the Drop Down Through pattern. Indeed, in all the time I have been using it – over eight years – I have had more success with it than with any other single pattern. I am indebted to Tad James (James, 1987–1994) for introducing me to this pattern. This pattern can be used with any cognitive/emotional problem in which the person experiences a negative feeling. Over the years, I have made some modifications to the original (I have added step 5), but it remains simple in structure.

  Essentially the person re-experiences their limiting emotional state and then mentally drops down through a number of layers which lie beneath it. With emotions, the metaphor of going down through layers works best. As they encounter each new layer, the person brings to conscious awareness the previously unconscious frames of mind that were supporting the layers above. The Drop Down Through Pattern provides a quick way to uncover the systemic nature of the problem, and the PWS will find it easy to apply the appropriate resources for resolving the issue and healing themselves.

  CASE STUDY 10

  Before I explain the pattern in detail, here is a transcript of a dialogue I had with a client. At a very early age Joe had witnessed the divorce of his parents. Joe began stuttering as a small child before his parents divorced. One parent later remarried, but the step-parent was extremely jealous of Joe and indeed seemed to work hard at showing favoritism towards his own children, and would shame Joe at every opportunity. This went on for years. During these critical years, Joe’s blocking grew worse and worse. He had wrapped his shame-based personality around his blocking. My dialogue with Joe went like this:

  “Joe, so you felt a lot of shame from the way your step-dad trea
ted you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where do you feel this shame in your body?”

  “It is in my chest.”

  “Now, Joe, I want you to just imagine yourself dropping down through that shame in your chest. And as you drop down through that, what thought or feeling is underneath that?”

  “Anger. There is one mad little boy there.”

  “That is great. Now, Joe, I want you to just imagine yourself dropping down through that anger. And as you drop down through that, what thought or feeling is underneath that anger?”

  “More anger.”

  “That is great. Now, Joe, I want you to just imagine yourself dropping down through that more anger. And as you drop down through that, what thought or feeling is underneath that?”

  “Sadness.”

  “Now I want you to just imagine yourself dropping down through that sadness. And as you drop down through that, what thought or feeling is underneath the sadness?”

  “Never a free kid.”

  “Good Joe. Now just continue dropping down through that never being a free kid and what is underneath that?”

  “Nervous. Timid. I was always nervous and timid as a kid.”

  “And underneath being a nervous and timid kid, what is underneath that?”

  “Scared. He scared the shit out of me!”

  “You are doing really well, Joe. Just drop down through that and what thought or feeling is underneath that thought of your step-dad scaring the shit out of you?”

  “Sadness.”

  “And continuing on down, what thought or feeling is underneath the sadness?”

  “Agitation.”

  “Good Joe. And what is underneath agitation?”