Demanding All Of You

by Ali Parker

  Oliver posed, holding the fish up. I gestured for Damion to get in the picture as well. He squatted down to get in the frame. I snapped the picture, knowing it would be one of those pictures I treasured for a long time to come.

  Before Damion or I could do anything, Oliver dropped to his butt and gently put the fish in the water. Damion’s mouth fell open. “Oliver! What are you doing?”

  He got up and wiped his hands on his pants. “I let him go.”

  “Why?” Damion asked.

  “Because I don’t want him to die. Fish have to be in the water to survive.”

  I burst into laughter. The way Oliver explained it seemed completely logical. Damion looked at me, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

  “I don’t think you need to worry about that ‘being too hard’ thing we talked about earlier.”

  He laughed. “I guess not.”

  Chapter 37

  Damion

  I had to get a load of laundry in before I headed back out to work on a portion of the fence that had blown down in a windstorm the other night. It was always something. I had planned to run up to town while Oliver was in school, but that wasn’t going to happen.

  Being a single parent had been a learning curve but being a single parent and trying to run a farm in the middle of nowhere was proving especially challenging. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the grocery store was closer than thirty miles or if there was a fast-food joint for those nights I was so damn tired I didn’t want to cook. I kept telling myself my grandpa managed, but holy shit, it was hard.

  Every day felt like a struggle. I had to admit, at the end of the day and all the challenges I overcame, I did have a feeling of accomplishment. I just wasn’t sure it was enough. Would it be enough for me in a year, two years? I couldn’t shake the feeling of being pulled away.

  I started a load of laundry before grabbing a soda from the fridge. It was time to get back to work. I was halfway out the door when my phone rang. It was a foreign sound to me. I got very few phone calls. Alex usually texted and I talked to almost no one.

  I looked at the number on the screen and saw the New York area code. “Hello?” I answered.

  “Damion, thank god you answered,” the familiar voice on the other end of the line said.

  “Pat?” I asked with confusion.

  “Yes, it’s me. How are you?”

  I walked onto the porch and took a seat in one of the old rockers. It was a little strange to hear from the guy. We had worked together a couple of years, but we were never really friends. We said hello and asked about each other’s families, but a phone call out of the blue wasn’t normal.

  “I’m good. You?”

  “Good. Well, no. Not good. I’m up to my eyeballs in shit and could really use some help.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. He was a copy editor. I never really thought the job was all that difficult.

  He blew out a breath. “I have your job now and I’m drowning. I didn’t ask for the job. I’m not fucking qualified to do this job. My wife is ready to leave me, and I barely remember what my kids look like.”

  “You have my job?” I repeated. “You took over the editor-in-chief position? Where’s the guy I trained to replace me?”

  He scoffed. “That fucking joker walked out about three weeks ago. He said it wasn’t the type of publication he could work for with a good conscience.”

  “It’s a men’s magazine,” I said in a dry tone. “We’re not exactly putting out smut.”

  I realized I said we. I still thought of the magazine as mine. It wasn’t mine. I had nothing to do with it. It had been like a second kid to me for a long time. Letting it go had been hard. Clearly, I was still struggling with it.

  “He was an asshole. No one liked him. He quit and left us hanging. The powers that be asked me to step in until they could hire someone new or you came back.”

  “I came back? What is that about? I quit. I gave notice. I moved across the country.”

  “They think you’re coming back. Everyone here does.”

  “Why?”

  He chuckled. “I guess because no one can see you living on a farm in rural Montana.”

  “Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence,” I muttered. “I was raised here. I’m not exactly a newbie at this stuff.”

  “Sure, sure, sorry. Anyway, I’m drowning. I could use some help with this stupid program. Do you have a minute to talk me through it?”

  I sighed, knowing the broken fence wasn’t going anywhere. “Sure. Tell me what’s going on.”

  I spent the next hour walking him through what he needed to do. The poor guy was in over his head. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on back home, but it wasn’t my problem. I was gone. I no longer controlled what happened in the office or what went to print. We ended the call with Pat thanking me profusely and reminding me the job was still available. It was about the last thing I needed to hear. I was already struggling with making a commitment to the farm. I didn’t need a carrot dangled in front of my face.

  Instead of heading out to fix the fence, I sat in the rocker, surveying the land and letting myself get lost in thought. Pat sounded seriously stressed. I understood what he was going through. I had felt like that in the first few months I had been on the job.

  It wasn’t long before I saw a vehicle coming down my long driveway. It wasn’t Alex’s truck. I squinted, shielding the sun from my eyes with my hand. I grinned when I recognized the old Chevy truck. It was Justin. I couldn’t imagine he was back to mow already.

  He pulled to a stop. The back of his truck was loaded down with bales of hay. I was certainly not in need of any more hay and hoped it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t up for unloading it, either. Staring at the hay took me back to the time Alex and I had bucked hay and did a whole lot more.

  “Hey,” I greeted, getting to my feet when he got out of the truck.

  “I see you’re working hard today,” he said with a laugh.

  I shrugged. “I’m thinking about working hard. Does that count?”

  He laughed, stepping onto the porch. “It’s a hot one today,” he commented.

  I nodded. “It is. I’m psyching myself up to do some fence work.”

  “I’ve got to take this load of hay out to a guy. Want to tag along?”

  I looked at the pile of hay, then back at him. “You want me to help unload it, don’t you?”

  He grinned. “I was thinking it would be your way of paying me back for my good company.”

  I laughed. “I see.” I mulled over the option and figured the fence wasn’t going anywhere. It would be there tonight when it was a little cooler. “Sure, I’ll go along, but I’m not unloading that whole damn truck.”

  “I doubt you could throw even one bale,” he said.

  I shook my head. “Nope, you are not going to get me to do it by goading me into it. I know what I can do.”

  I didn’t say it, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking Alex knew what I could do as well. She had thought I was some pussy city boy who couldn’t toss a few bales of hay. I had proved her wrong and then took her in the barn and shown her exactly what this city boy could do. It was a very good memory and made me smile every time I thought about it.

  I grabbed my wallet and hopped in the truck with him. “How’s it been going?” he asked as we drove down the driveway toward the road.

  “Good, busy.”

  He turned his head and looked at me. “That seems like a pretty generic response.”

  I laughed. “Sorry, just have a lot on my mind.”

  “That explains the look of contemplation I saw on your face when I pulled up. What’s going on?”

  Justin already knew more about me than anyone else. I had told no one about the inheritance, except Justin. Alex hadn’t said anything to me about it, which told me he had kept it to himself. I felt like I could trust him.

  “My old job called. The guy that was hired to replace me already quit, leaving them in the lurch. They want
me back.”

  “Wow, that’s got to make you feel pretty damn special,” he said.

  “I don’t know if I feel special or guilty. They are still my team and they are all struggling.”

  He was quiet for a second. “Sounds like your loyalty is with them.”

  “It is.”

  “You miss New York,” he stated.

  “I do. Fuck yeah, I do. I like it here, but there’s so much more New York has to offer.”

  “This place is meant for a specific type of people and I get the feeling you aren’t that type. You either love it or hate it out here. There is no in-between. You have to be willing to give up a lot to live a simpler life. Some people jump at the chance to go back in time a hundred years. Some don’t. I think you need to decide what category you’re in.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. I honestly have no fucking idea what I want.”

  “You’re one of the lucky ones. You have options. Some of us are stuck here whether we like it or not. We don’t have the means to pick up and move across the country. You do.”

  “Are you saying you don’t like it here?” I questioned.

  He smiled. “I like it here plenty, but there are some days I think about leaving. Those are big dreams, and truth be told, I’m too much of a chickenshit to make those dreams happen. I’m comfortable here. I like my life, even if it is a little mundane and I have no chance of ever living in a fancy house or driving a fancy truck. This is it for me and I have to be content with that.”

  I grimaced. “I’m not sure content is enough for me. I like excitement. I like new things. I like hustle and stress.”

  He laughed. “The country life might not be for you if your idea of a good time is getting stuck in a loud crowd of people, rushing from point A to point B.”

  I smiled. “Exactly. This is where I’m struggling.”

  “Your grandfather’s land is worth a lot of money. You could sell it and never have to work another day in your life with that little inheritance you’re set to get.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t sell the place. That would feel wrong, like sacrilege or some shit.”

  He laughed. “Hell, you’d get over it while you were sipping some expensive champagne in your fancy New York City penthouse.”

  “I couldn’t do it. It would gut me. Besides, I don’t know if I can leave this place behind. Not yet.”

  He turned his head to look at me. “This place or a certain someone?”

  I wasn’t surprised he knew or at least suspected there was something between Alex and me. It was a small town. We’d been together at the carnival and I was sure we had been seen out and about. The rumors would already be circulating.

  “I can’t leave Alex,” I said, confirming his suspicions.

  He shrugged a shoulder. “She left you.”

  His words stung. I couldn’t explain why they did, but they did. He was right. She’d gotten up and left me hanging without a word. She didn’t think twice about chasing a job she wanted. I had to wonder if maybe, just maybe, this was all just a game to her. I was the new guy in town. A guy to hang out with, and once the next big job came up, she’d be gone again.

  I didn’t want that kind of life. I didn’t want to be sitting at home on the farm, waiting for her to roll back into town and pick up where we left off. I didn’t want to be the little man waiting at home.

  Chapter 38

  Alex

  I sipped my soda, letting the sugar infuse my bloodstream with a jolt of energy. I had been dragging ass and needed a little boost. I had wandered into the diner after picking up some stuff at the hardware store that doubled as the grocery store and UPS drop-off. I took a big bite of the BLT and slowly chewed while spacing out and looking out the window. I was bored. I needed to find a job, but I was reluctant to do so.

  I didn’t want to find a job that would hog all my time and pull me away from Damion. I knew it was wrong and knew I couldn’t just stop working and make my world revolve around him, but I didn’t want to take a job in another town or another state. The last time had been brutal. Things had been good between us and I didn’t want to ruin it.

  I also feared that leaving again would be the thing that pushed him all the way over to the leaving side of the fence he’d been walking on. I knew he wasn’t committed to staying. I shouldn’t be so invested in what he decided to do, but I was. I wanted him to stay. I hated that I was becoming one of those women that bordered on clingy. I hated clingy.

  “Hey there,” I heard a male voice say.

  I turned my head, wiping my mouth with the napkin. “Hi, Harvey,” I greeted the man I had come to know during my time on Oliver’s farm. The lawyer had been at the farm a lot during the last weeks of Oliver’s life. I had no idea why at the time, but I understood now. Oliver was getting his affairs in order. It made sense now why they always went quiet if I walked into the room.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  I smiled, gesturing for him to have a seat. “I’m good, really good. Please, have a seat, unless you’re here with someone?”

  “I just stopped by to grab myself some lunch before I go to an appointment,” he said, sliding into the booth.

  “How’ve you been?” I asked him. I knew he had been close with Oliver. It had to have been hard for him to hold his friend’s secret without being able to share his grief.

  He smiled. “I’m good. Getting older, but I suppose that’s more than a lot of folks can say.”

  I smiled, nodding. “Very true.”

  “Are you still working out at Oliver’s farm?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No. I was technically done out there a while back. I was just waiting around for the new manager to show up. I didn’t realize I had been waiting on Oliver’s grandson. You could have told me. I was ready to call you and walk away before Damion showed up.”

  He chuckled. “You know I’m sworn to confidentiality. Oliver was funny that way. He didn’t like to talk about his personal life. He made sure I kept it to myself. Things took a little longer than I had anticipated with getting things together. I had to make the trip out to New York to talk with Damion. I don’t quite see the allure of big-city living. But it was nice to take my wife on a very brief getaway.”

  “That was sweet of you to take her with you. I didn’t realize you had taken the trip to tell him in person.”

  He let out a sigh. “It seemed like the right thing to do. He wasn’t privy to his grandfather’s wishes. I had hoped to talk to him at the funeral, but as you know, he didn’t come.”

  I nodded, remembering my own irritation about the fact. “I’m glad it gave you a good excuse to get out of town.”

  “How is Damion doing out there?” he asked.

  “Good,” I said, nodding. “He’s catching on fast. He says it’s like riding a bike.”

  Harvey laughed. “I’m surprised. When I met with him in New York, the very last thing I imagined was him actually working the farm. He had that slick, city thing going for him, if you know what I mean.”

  I nodded. “I do know what you mean and my first impression of him was not great. He’s slowly been proving me wrong. I left the farm in his hands. Oliver asked me to stay on until the person he wanted to have it showed up. That’s what I did. I’ll keep my eye on things to make sure I can fulfill the other half of Oliver’s request.”

  “And what request would that be?” Harvey asked.

  I smiled. “He didn’t want the farm to fall into ruin or be sold off in chunks and pieces. He loved that place. I will do everything I can to make sure his wish is carried out. Although it is Damion’s land now, and if he decides to sell, there is little I can do to stop him.”

  He looked thoughtful. “It almost wasn’t his land. In fact, there is still a chance he could default on the agreement.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If Damion had decided not to come out and live on the farm, the land would have defaulted to you. Oliver had made it very clear that i
f Damion chose not to live on the farm or tried to sell it, it would go to you.”

  My mouth fell open. “What?” I gasped. “No way! Why would he do that?”

  “Because he loved that farm, and like you said, he didn’t want to see it sold off in bits and pieces.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I’m shocked. I had no idea. He was such a generous man.”

  “Now that you know that, are you upset Damion showed up?” he asked in a serious tone.

  “No,” I said vehemently. “Absolutely not. It is his farm. It is his birthright. I would never want to take that away from him.”

  Harvey shrugged one of his beefy shoulders clad in a suit that was probably at least ten years old. “But what if he doesn’t want it?”

  “He wants it,” I assured him.

  Harvey smirked. “I suppose he does, at least for the time being. He’s got a lot riding on it.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked. I sensed Harvey didn’t care for Damion. I wanted to know why. I knew it was me being nosey, but I had been spending a lot of time with Damion and felt I needed to know if he was a shady character.

  He shook his head, waving a hand through the air. “Nothing,” he muttered.

  “Harvey, obviously it’s something. What does Damion have riding on the farm?”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I truly cannot say anything more. It’s privileged information.”

  “Harvey, you already said enough to make me curious. I won’t tell a soul. I have a lot invested in that farm. I feel I have a right to know if Damion is planning to do something with it or to it.”

  He looked pained. “I wish I could explain it, but it will all come out eventually. For now, let’s just hope Oliver’s wishes are fulfilled.”

  I scowled at him. His answer was dodgy. I hated dodgy. I liked facts. I liked the truth. I got the feeling there was something going on that absolutely did concern Damion’s intentions with the farm. I couldn’t imagine what could be so bad.

  “Harvey, you’ve left me with a lot of questions,” I said.