Survivor

by Sam Hall

  “Some like it all smooth and slick, like you, Senny, but if she likes our Monster, she likes all kinds of rough,” sandy hair said with a cocky grin. “Hey, Petey, mate.”

  Peter had arrived by my side, standing to the left, his shadow covering me. Both men noted when his hand came to rest on my shoulder.

  “Heard you found yourself a woman, Petey boy, but I could scarcely credit the stories,” sandy hair said before looking down at me. “So, lovely, and it appears we’re about to get to know each other a whole lot better.”

  “Piss. Off.”

  This was delivered in a low, terse tone, but people around us were starting to stare.

  “Mum, what’s going on?” Kade said, wiggling through the crowd until he got to my side, but everyone looked at Peter. His hands had balled up into fists the size of boulders, and his words had apparently been forced out between clenched teeth.

  “Getting all protective, Monster?” dark hair said. “You know how you get when you first catch a whiff of them. You want to keep your loveys all to yourself, but that’ll never work. She’s a pretty little thing. Wouldn’t want to hurt her now, would you?”

  Hurt me? My neck was stiff when I turned to look at him, this ‘Monster.’ They were talking about Peter?

  “You’re scaring her,” Peter growled, his nostrils working.

  “No more than she will be when she looks at your—” dark hair said.

  “Fuck off, Darren.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Brett said with a frown. He looked me over much more objectively. “We’ve been out at the mines, but now we’re back. Just because you got yourself a little dove in the big smoke, doesn’t change anything. She’s still gonna need warming up, and we’re just the blokes to do it.” His hands went to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head with a quick movement, then he tossed it onto the table. His chest was a masterwork of muscle. In the old days of giggling over cocktails with my girlfriends, I’d have salivated over that perfect slab of man meat, but that was before. I reached across the table and grabbed up a steak knife when he took a slow, swaggering step closer. I'd been through too much to let myself be molested by a really rude Chippendale dancer.

  “Darren! Brett!” All our eyes jerked up to see Ophelia striding across the floor. “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing here?”

  Brett straightened with an effort, trying to meet her burning gaze when she drew close but failing.

  “We just—”

  “Did I, or did I not explicitly tell you to keep away from the married mess and Flick and her pack?”

  “Yeah, but—” Darren said.

  “No buts, no excuses, and none of that bizarre idea of friendship you seem determined to continue with. Sen, can you take these idiots over to the lock up for some thinking time?”

  “Of course, alpha,” he said with a quick bow, walking around the table to grab the two strangers by the scruffs of their necks.

  “Go, or begone from my settlement.”

  The whole room went silent at the sound of her voice. It wasn’t loud or insistent, merely communicating what appeared to be an iron will, one which took all the fight out of the men. They went limp under Sen’s grip.

  “I’ll be in touch, Flick,” Sen said before marching the two men out.

  “Monster…?” Kade asked, his eyes narrowing. “Hurt Mum?”

  “Now, look, Kade…” Aidan said, putting a hand out as my son started to burr up. I yanked him back down to my lap, wrapping my arms around him to hold him still.

  “No, I’d like to know the story behind that as well,” I said.

  This was my mate? The man I’d chomped and tied myself to until the end of time or until I decided otherwise? What the hell had he done to get a name like that from men like them?

  But he didn’t answer me. Instead, that stony look was directed at me, his nostrils flaring for a second before he turned on his heel and walked off.

  “Well, I think it's safe to say that coming to the mess didn’t go well,” Aidan said.

  15

  “Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?” I said in a harsh whisper.

  I’d fobbed Kade off with a DVD, setting him up with that and a promise I’d set up a play date with one of the girl’s parents this week. He seemed fairly unfazed by what had happened. Me, on the other hand…

  Aidan settled against the kitchen bench, arms crossed. His eyes flicked to Kade constantly though.

  “I can’t tell Pete’s story for him.”

  “The one where he’s a monster? You don’t think that was relevant to tell a mother and her child when they trusted you?”

  “I’d have told you if there was any risk to you in the slightest,” Aidan said, eyes wide. “I’d never let either of you come to harm.”

  “So why…?” My eyes went to Kade, slouched on the floor in front of the TV. “Oh my god…” I whispered.

  Plenty of people have that dodgy uncle, or the handsy teacher that they just know is not doing the right thing with their kids, but circumstances or upbringing create an environment where everyone refuses to call them out on their behaviour. Kade… Peter had always been way more focussed on me, largely keeping out of my son’s way until recently. But if that had been a cover…

  “Jesus,” I croaked out, half sob.

  Don’t let me have brought my son into an environment where he has suffered more abuse, I thought fervently. Please, please, please.

  “Goddess, Flick, no, it’s nothing like that. Look—”

  Aidan didn’t get to finish the sentence, as the screen door opened and then shut with slightly more force than necessary. Peter—no, Monster, stood there, eyes on the door, as if by sheer will he could go back and shut it more civilly. Well, I wasn’t too fussed about that.

  “Bedroom, now,” I hissed with all the force I could manage, stabbing my finger in the air. Peter looked stung, by my words, by the vehemence of my actions.

  He has not done what you fear, my Tirian said.

  Shut up. How would you know?

  I would never allow anyone to harm the cub that way.

  Yeah, because all parents of kids who are sexually abused ‘let’ it happen. Predators are sneaky and get under people’s guard.

  No, because I can sense your child’s beast at all times. We are bonded. Any harm to him, and I would know. I would stop it.

  “C’mon, mate, it’s time to clear the air,” Aidan said.

  Peter shook his head and then stormed on into the room.

  You’re gonna put yourself into a room with someone whose fists are the size of your head, I thought as I walked towards the bedroom. Good going, Flick.

  Your mate will not hurt you.

  Pretty sure I’m not feeling awesome right now, so there’s that.

  Humans, I heard my beast sigh. You make everything so complicated.

  Fine, I’ll uncomplicate it.

  I squared my shoulders as I shut the door behind me with a noticeable click.

  “Right, we’re not leaving this room until it's all out on the table.” Peter flinched when I looked at him. “You don’t want me touching you sexually, and they’re calling you Monster. What’s the deal? Are you a threat to Kade? Because if you are, I swear to Christ—”

  “Is that what you think?” The big man’s voice cut through mine. “You think I’d hurt Kade?”

  “How the hell do I know? I woke up from being unconscious, apparently married to a new guy after bashing in the head of the previous husband. You guys could have done anything…” My voice broke on that. I’d deliberately tried not to think about it unless I was talking to Ophelia. She assured me the same thing, that as an alpha, she could feel Kade’s animal and would have known if anyone had hurt him, but it just seemed so far-fetched, I couldn’t accept it.

  “Flick…” Aidan moved to comfort me, but I shook my head wildly.

  “No, no,” I said, holding out a hand. “No more kisses and cuddles and lulling me i
nto sweet oblivion. I want answers, not hot guys.”

  Which made what came next weird.

  Peter sighed and pulled off his shirt, then his hands went to the waistband of his jeans.

  “What the hell?” I asked.

  “It’s OK, Flick,” Aidan said. “This isn’t a sex thing.”

  Except it was, in a way. He stepped out of his jeans, his underwear following quickly afterwards, and there it was—lying between his legs was the biggest dick I’d ever seen, and he was definitely not hard.

  This is what they meant by Monster, I thought, my brain kind of fighting to put it all together. Monster cock.

  And then it burbled up—a sense of relief and ridiculousness coupled with my previous fear, until my head spun with it all. It all made sense—his reluctance to let me see all of him naked, the pillow across his hips, and his leaping out of bed when he’d unconsciously ground into me. My lips jerked, as I wanted to laugh, cry, I dunno. The poor man was standing there, like a prisoner at a scaffold awaiting his sentence, and I wanted to giggle like a little girl. I let out a long sigh, and it felt like a million other things came out with it.

  Then I walked towards him, something that had him shuffling back, but somehow, perhaps with the help of my beast, I was faster and caught him before he…what? Went streaking out of here? I put a hand on his wrist and the other on his waist when he didn’t flinch away. Because in a way, I knew what he felt.

  I looked up into his eyes and was not surprised by what I saw—fear. He held himself there by will alone, waiting for me to make a judgement, pull away, reject him, something I found hard to believe he would expect. He was so fucking beautiful. His body was this big, powerful machine, but somehow, he was ashamed of it. I rubbed a hand down his side, just feeling that hot satiny skin for a moment, then opened myself up to the bond.

  Revulsion and desire, fear and need, anger and frustration and a deep need to run, run, run thrummed through him. But in amongst it all was that self same deep, burning want for me. Something that humbled me constantly, from both of them. I looked up and saw Aidan nodding encouragingly, so I dropped my hand down, running my fingers along the line where Peter’s hip joined his thigh. I stared up at the big man, asking the question with my eyes before my hand moved closer.

  He trembled beneath my touch, but he nodded, just slightly, and I could hear the rapid intake of his breath when I took him in my hand.

  It’d been a long time since I’d watched porn. Sexual desire was one of the first casualties in an abusive relationship, but I’d seen enough to know he was pretty damn impressive. Especially as, when I brushed the back of my hand along his length, he began to thicken. Emboldened, I let my fingers encircle his shaft, unable to close them around him, and then slid my fingers down. Peter’s groan was immediate, his hand going to my shoulder, the fingers scoring my skin as I sped up the caress.

  “Mum?”

  We both froze at the sound being called out from the lounge room, and my hand moved away instantly.

  “I’ll go,” Aidan said. “Stay here, work this out. She’s your mate, Pete. It’s time to let her in. Take your time. I might take Kade around to Mila’s for a bit, yeah?”

  Peter just nodded, while I felt a pang. What kind of mother was I? I’d just left Kade out there, wondering what the hell was going on, while I was hiding away in here, jerking off my mate?

  “Parents are sexual creatures,” Ophelia had said when I’d voiced concerns about this before. “We acknowledge that freely here, but it is not something children are exposed to, nor should they. As long as a child’s needs are met, they are safe, seen, and cared for, a parent shouldn’t feel guilty for indulging their sensual natures away from the child at appropriate times. It’s part of what works so well for our packs. There’s always someone to care for our children, even if some other members are pulling a nooner.”

  I frowned, closing my eyes for a moment and feeling the guilt rise.

  Kade does not need you right now, but your mate does, my Tirian said.

  I waited until the excited shout and the stampede of footsteps died away, replaced by the opening and closing of the front door. We were alone now.

  “On the bed,” I said.

  I watched him move as he did so, a picture of power, the full extent of his charms now evident and lying rigid against his stomach.

  “This is what worries you? Why they call you Monster?” I said, standing by the bed but trailing my fingers up his hip. I got a short nod. “You think you’re too big?”

  “I know I am. Flick…I’ve hurt girls in the past.”

  “And you don’t want to hurt me.” I nodded, understanding it now. Those muppets at the shed, they’d said they were the pre-show. “Those guys, they were your friends?”

  “We grew up together.”

  “And they told you they needed to fuck your sexual partners first to get them ready for you?”

  He nodded.

  “Do you want it like that? Coming after them? Some people are into that.”

  He shook his head.

  On impulse, I pulled my shirt off over my head, and then, when I could feel the cool air on my skin, I stripped the rest of my clothes off. I straddled his legs, his hands going to my hips.

  “We’re not having sex today,” I said, marvelling at the look he gave me—so hungry, so vulnerable. “But I think we should get to know each other’s bodies a little better, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  I grabbed his hand and slid it to my hip, then across my stomach.

  “I’ve got really bad stretch marks all along here. My tummy’s soft. To me, it feels like an empty bag.” I forced his hand into the squishy flesh, so he could feel the truth of my words. “Rick always told me how repulsive having Kade had made me.”

  Peter frowned at this.

  “You had a baby. Of course it changed. You look ripe and fertile, like you might swell with another child. My child.”

  His voice was so deep, it vibrated through me, making me shift slightly with the lovely feel of it. His words sent a thrill up my spine that wasn’t entirely fear. I’d never thought about having another baby, too horrified by the first time to consider it. But I shook my head, filing that away for later.

  “My breasts were never super perky, I guess due to the size,” I said, moving his hand up to one. I bit back a moan as I felt his palm brush against the hard nipple. It felt insane, feeling any kind of desire right now, but bodies have their own ideas. We might have endured the weird that was the mess shed, but that wasn’t what was happening right now. Now was here, with him—my mate.

  I looked at the pink scar on his neck, saw the way it flexed as his breath came more rapidly.

  “I fucking love them,” Peter said, much more boldly. He shifted to an almost sitting position, then watching me, brought his other hand up. “Your body’s so ripe and soft. I lie awake most nights, thinking about what it would be like to fill my hands with your tits.”

  “And you haven’t, because you’re worried about rushing me.” He nodded. “Thanks. I might still need that, but right now…” I placed his hand on my other breast. Hunger flashed across his face, his eyes gleaming green as he drew closer.

  “Fuck, Flick…”

  Fuck, indeed. For a moment, I let the physical animal side of myself have her head, just revelling in the feel of his thumbs rubbing across my nipples. His fingers grew bolder, plucking at the now aching tips. When I opened my eyes, he wore the self-satisfied smirk all men seem to sport when they know they’ve got you turned on.

  “When you do that, I forget all about the size and shape of my body, I just feel good.” He answered me by reaching over to rain kisses over my collarbone and breasts. My hand went to his head when his lips drew closer, scoring his scalp when he went for my nipple. “Do it. I want you to, but I also want to touch you.” He froze at that. “Your cock isn’t going inside me, so you have nothing to worry about. If it’s going to hurt, that’s the only way it can, right?” He n
odded. “So it won’t hurt either of us for me to do this.”

  My lips were on his when I wrapped my hand around him, sucking down his gasps, then replacing them with my tongue. Helpless little grunts of pleasure forced their way past them as I lightly ran my fingers up and down his length. Then he pulled his mouth away and fastened it around my nipple.

  “Fuck…” I cried, feeling that intense, rhythmic suckling all the way down to my clit, and my thighs spread as I felt the tension build.

  God, when was the last time I’d come?

  A rapid slideshow of Rick grunting as he emptied himself into me, the stench of his body, his piggish sounds filled my mind.

  Not with him. Not there. Here.

  That’s right, I thought, looking down at Peter’s complete surrender to the sensual moment. He feasted on me as he switched from one nipple to the other, sucking each one to the point of aching, then moving to the other. He acted like this was a great treat, one that might be snatched away from him at any second.

  But I wasn’t going to. It felt like he had lit a fire inside me, one long forgotten and all the warmer for that. Had having someone lavish attention on my breasts ever felt so intense? I could feel every pulse of his mouth, the scrape of his tongue and teeth as if between my legs, tugging, tugging. I ran a hand down his cheek and called his name.

  When he looked up, he was panting, but he didn’t loosen his hold around me.

  “You’ve been wanting that for a while?”

  He smiled in a way that I’d never seen before, part cocky heat, part vulnerability, then shocked me further by putting me on my back and looming above me.

  “I wanted you under me the moment I saw you,” he told me between kisses that burned my skin, from my neck down my breast bone. “When you bit me, when I held you, when I watched you sleep, I dreamed of this.” He paused to kiss one beaded nipple. “Of having you spread out before me like some kind of lush banquet. Of tasting you. Of having you all wet and squirming.” He very carefully settled his hard cock against me, not wanting to dip in. Instead, he made sure the shaft thrust against my clit. “Of pushing inside you and feeling my mate squeeze tight around me. Of being with the one woman I never thought I’d meet. When you bit me, my heart stopped and then it started beating again. For you, Flick, always for you.”