The Shortest Distance Between Love & Hate
Page 7
“I thought I did!” he says. “I stood by the desk and—” He pauses. “Or maybe I didn’t. Maybe I thought I did. Or maybe she didn’t hear me. I’ll be more careful next time.”
“We’re flexible here, but we definitely work on a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy.”
“Obviously, it’s a fitness center,” Carter says.
Jordan chuckles. How dare he make her chuckle while he’s getting in trouble?
“I like you, Carter,” she says. “But this is your first strike. If Mr. Martell hadn’t found out about it, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I have to make it one. Especially since we had to fire someone yesterday for never being where they were supposed to be. Mind you, they were a lifeguard, so literally lives were on the line.”
“I get it,” Carter says.
“I’m going to be working on a new policy list, updating people on what’s expected of them. Just follow the rules and everything will be fine.”
“I get it. And I’m sorry.”
Jordan says something else, but I can tell they’re wrapping up. I nearly bust my ass racing back down the hall to make sure I’m at the desk when he returns.
“Any problems?” I ask when he sits down a minute later.
“Not at all,” he says.
“It sounded like something was going down.”
“Mm, yeah, it’s definitely none of your business.”
Interesting. He’s avoiding confrontation. Maybe he’s finally learned his lesson.
-CARTER-
Today is a bad day.
All days are kind of bad days lately, but today it was extra bad. Paisley totally threw me under the bus at work and now I have a strike on my record. I wanted to argue with Jordan but I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere. It seemed silly to make excuses. And it’s only one strike.
It’d be really nice to have one good day, though.
I walk back from work alone, eat dinner alone, and go to the library alone.
I’m alone, of course, in my room later on, trying to work on calc homework and getting nowhere. I’m going to have to suck it up and hit the campus tutoring center sooner rather than later. Calculus is not my forte.
Ray comes in, cracking jokes and in a better mood than I’ve ever seen him. Things have been rocky between us since I ditched him twice the first weekend of school, but maybe he’s finally thawing out.
“Hey,” Ray says, sitting down on his bed and going through his backpack. “Any chance you want to join the trivia team? We just lost a member and I remember you saying you might be into it.”
I stare down at my calc book. I would love to join the trivia team. It’d be like getting a whole group of friends in one quick swipe, but there’s no way I have time.
I shake my head. “Nah, there’s no way I can do that.”
“Why, because you’re so cool?” Ray says.
I hold up my hands in defense. “No, it’s because I feel overwhelmed by my schoolwork and work study and life in general.” Things with Ray have been pretty cold since the first weekend of school. I’m not surprised that this is how he’s reacting.
“Your life in general doesn’t seem all that overwhelming.”
“Well, since you never asked about my life in general, how would you know?”
Ray nods. “Fair. What’s up with your life in general?”
I cough nervously. “I’m not, like, looking for your pity or anything. It’s just my mom has cancer and—”
“Say no more,” Ray interrupts. “I get it. You need to be available.”
“Exactly.”
“Sorry I jumped on you like that.”
I shrug. “It’s fine.”
It’s not really fine, but I honestly don’t feel like talking about this for even one more second.
“How are things with Paisley?” he asks. It’s definitely meant to be an olive branch, and I accept it.
“They’re complete and utter shit.”
“I’m not saying you don’t deserve it, because you do, but I’m sorry that it still sucks.”
“Thanks, man,” I say, coloring in the margin of my notebook.
“You want to come hang out at my brother’s? Nothing is really going on there tonight, but you know, could be more fun than sitting here and working on your calc homework or whatever.”
“So, so tempting. And I hope you won’t take it personally, but I gotta stay home and work on my calc homework. Problems to solve, scholarships to keep, miles to go before I sleep. That kind of business.”
“Did you mean to rhyme that?” Ray asks, squinting at me.
“Not even a little.”
We bust out laughing and I can tell that things are finally on the upswing with Ray. I never wanted to get on his bad side.
He leaves a second later, and I feel better.
Making up with Ray takes this a few steps up from the worst day ever.
CHAPTER EIGHT
-PAISLEY-
Paisley: I’d like to call this meeting of the Sacred Group Text to order.
Lizzie: Reporting for duty.
Madison: Yup, I’m here too. What’s up?
Paisley: I need to make Carter Schmitt’s life miserable. The suggestion box is officially open.
Madison: Something involving fingernails? Pulling them out? Sticking things under them?
Lizzie: Paper cuts. Lots and lots of paper cuts.
Henry: PAISLEY. WHY.
Paisley: HENRY.
Madison: HENRY.
Lizzie: HENRY. Hello. I didn’t notice you were even in this group text.
Henry: Hello, Lizzie. Yes. I am here.
Paisley: I decided to add Henry. I hope nobody minds.
Madison: I don’t mind.
Lizzie: Welcome to the Sacred Group Text, Henry.
Paisley: So, seriously. I need to come up with some kind of revenge. I’ve recently taken to little bursts of Paisley justice. I pulled a screw out of his chair and the back fell off. I got him a strike at work by feigning ignorance. I feel like a whole new woman today, knowing that his life is a little more miserable thanks to me.
Madison: I understand. I don’t condone purposeful violence, but I enjoy what you’re doing.
Lizzie: Mm. Yes.
Henry: Please stop.
Madison: Stop what, Henry? The texts or the revenge plot?
Henry: Well. Not the texts. I like being in your group texts. It’s always a good time.
Lizzie: We are super funny. I’m glad you enjoy being included.
Henry: What I don’t like is the idea of Paisley exacting revenge in my name. Like, it could seriously blow up in your face.
Paisley: I just want to make him a teeny, tiny, eeny, weeny bit miserable. Is that too much to ask?
Madison: No.
Lizzie: Nope.
Henry: YES.
Paisley: HENRY.
Madison: HENRY.
Lizzie: HENRY. Let me be the voice of reason here. Paisley wants to fight for your honor.
Paisley: I do. I really do. Please let me do this.
Henry: Oh, all right. I know trying to get you to stop is like trying to catch the ocean in a mayonnaise jar.
Lizzie: You have such a way with words, Henry.
Henry: Thank you, Lizzie.
Paisley: And really, what could go wrong?
Henry: The last words of any fool before something goes horribly wrong.
Paisley: Oh, come on, Henry. Live a little.
Henry: Maybe you should seek counseling.
Madison: Maybe you should seek blood vengeance.
Paisley: I don’t want to do anything physically to him, I swear. I just want to make him kind of miserable in small ways. Things that will poke at him for a day or two.
Lizzie: Or a week or two. I don’t think lengthening the time frame of misery is too much to ask. Given what he put Henry through for years during middle school.
Henry: He was an asshole. I will give you that. But please don’t do anything extreme.
Henry: Excellent. Keep me in the loop. I have to go to class now, but I’ll be monitoring this situation.
Paisley: Excellent. Let’s get to work.
Lizzie: Where do you want to start?
Madison: Yeah. I’m ready to help in any way possible. I’ve been dreaming of revenge plots for a long time.
Paisley: Well, I wasn’t lying. I don’t want this to be big stuff. I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to … nudge him. To make life a little harder for him.
Madison: You work together, right?
Paisley: Yes.
Madison: I mean, there’s plenty of stuff you can do there. Little things. Change his schedule, shred stuff instead of filing it, make him look bad in front of your boss.
Lizzie: I do want to echo Henry in saying that you need to be careful not to get yourself fired while trying to sabotage him.
Paisley: Yeah, I wouldn’t be happy about that. That would be the worst kind of revenge. But I think I know how to temper this so that it’s only little things that he’ll notice and rub him the wrong way.
Madison: Yeah, that’s the way to go.
Paisley: Our boss already gave him a warning. She’s got a “three strikes and you’re out” rule. I don’t want to jeopardize our jobs. I want to set up small booby traps.
Lizzie: Love it. Booby traps have little to no consequence but they can make you miserable for a little while. It’s the perfect way to think about this.
Paisley: And Henry will see. This will make me feel better. And it’ll make Carter Schmitt reconsider crossing anyone ever again.
Lizzie: Is he still an asshole? I definitely remember him from back then and he was such a little asshole.
Paisley: I guess not really. I don’t really focus on him very much. He was nice to me when we were making out?
Madison: Well, of course he was. He was getting what he wanted. Men. They’re all the same.
Paisley: I’m going to keep brainstorming. I’ll get back to you if I come up with anything great.
Madison: Me too.
Lizzie: Me three. I have a shift at the potato stand today.
Paisley: Aw, the potato stand. Good times. I miss working with you at the potato stand.
Madison: And I miss eating all of the potatoes.
Lizzie: John mentioned that if you want to come back over winter break to just let him know. He’s sure someone will quit between now and then.
Paisley: I’ll keep that in mind. I suddenly really miss the smell of potatoes and arguing with people about why we don’t serve anything else. I’m sorry you got left there holding the bag, Lizzie.
Lizzie: *Shrug.* That’s what happens when you go to community college and you live at home your first year of school. You get to keep your high school job.
Madison: All right, ladies, I have class. But we’ll continue this later.
Paisley: Have fuuuuuuun.
Lizzie: Fun with a side of vengeance.
-Paisley has named the conversation “Fun with a side of vengeance”-
Madison: Lol.
Lizzie: Lol.
Paisley: Totally.
-CARTER-
Carter: Hey, Thea.
Thea: Hey, Carter.
Carter: How are things?
Thea: Things are fine. Remember? I texted you this morning?
Carter: Yeah, I know.
Thea: How are things with you?
Carter: They’re okay.
Thea: Listen, obviously I can’t read your mind, but it feels like things aren’t all right. And it feels like you’re texting me for a reason.
Carter: Yeah. I don’t know. Everything maybe isn’t fine.
Thea: Who do you need me to beat up?
Carter: Everyone? Would you be able to beat up everyone?
Thea: Maybe. I’ve been taking a cardio kickboxing class. (And yoga. You should take a yoga class. That might help.) Who should be first?
Carter: Me. Probably. Also, Paisley, my calc professor, and my boss at the gym, but it’s really all my fault.
Thea: Well, let’s take this one step at a time. How have these people wronged you?
Carter: They haven’t! That’s the problem. In all of these situations, I’m in the wrong. I got off on the wrong foot and now I can’t find my way back to the right foot.
Thea: You’ve got some stuff going on.
Carter: I do, Thea. I have some stuff going on. I did shitty on my first calc exam, Paisley is still not speaking to me, and I think she’s trying to get me fired.
Thea: Carter! That’s not good! You can’t let that happen.
Carter: I’m not going to “let” it happen. I don’t have any control over it.
Thea: What did she do?
Carter: It’s convoluted and I’m not actually, technically sure she did anything, but suffice to say, I have a strike on my record at work. I just didn’t know how to argue it when it’s her word against mine. I’m going to be more vigilant from now on.
Thea: Okay. Good. So, let’s think of something you can do that can really help.
Carter: Like…?
Thea: Like what might make you feel better. Obviously, you have control over calc. You need to get help with it. Visit the tutoring center, go to office hours. Stuff like that.
Carter: Yes. I’ve been going to office hours, but I do need more help. I wish Paisley didn’t hate me or I’d ask her to help. I noticed she got an A on the exam.
Thea: Yeah, and if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Carter: I don’t know what that means so I’m ignoring you and moving on.
Thea: Sure, sure. It’s a fairly common saying, Carter.
Carter: Whatever, Thea.
Thea: Also, Carter. I’m sure there’s a counseling center on campus. Don’t forget how much therapy can help.
Carter: I know, I know. I’ll keep it in mind.
Thea: ANYWAY. As you already mentioned, you’ll be more vigilant at work and I think you really need to continue ignoring Paisley.
Carter: Yeah.
Thea: Are you not ignoring Paisley?
Carter: I mean, mostly.
Thea: Oh, Carter. I thought we talked about this! If she doesn’t like you, you can’t change that.
Carter: I’m not trying to change it! We sit next to each other at work for hours at a time. It’s impossible to completely ignore her.
Thea: All right, fine. I accept that.
Carter: I think I need to start staying at school over the weekend. I need to get my schoolwork under control and maybe find a social life.
Thea: That’s fine.
Carter: But then I feel guilty. Like I’m ditching you and mom for college, and college is kind of terrible, so maybe I should just go home.
Thea: We’re getting along fine without you.
Carter: But you do so much! Letting Mom move in with you while she was sick, helping her sell our house. I don’t do enough.
Thea: You do plenty. I’ll keep a running list of things that are too high for me to reach until you come home next.
Carter: Ha. Ha. Very funny.
Thea: I mean, that’s really all I need you for.
Carter: You’re so nice to me, Thea. (THAT IS SARCASM IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL.)
Thea: I know. I’m really kind. I hope this helped.
Carter: It did. It really did.
Thea: Good. Now go out there and get them!
Carter: Get who?
Thea: I don’t know; it seemed like the thing to say.
Carter: Thanks, Thea.
Thea: There is something I need to tell you about, just so you know.
Carter: What?
Thea: Well, Dad found out that Mom was sick and he’s been … around. Helping.
Carter: Sure. I’m sure that’ll last a long time. He’s so reliable.
Thea: He’s been pretty reliable lately.
Carter: Good for him.
Thea: That’s all you have
to say?
Carter: As long as I don’t have to see him, I don’t care. I’m feeling better about my decision not to come home so much already.
Thea: Wow, Carter, such a great attitude.
Carter: You’re the one who sprang this on me. I have to go do homework. Talk to you later.
-PAISLEY-
Henry: Can we talk?
Paisley: Of course.
Henry: I mean, do you have time to talk right now?
Paisley: Like on the phone?
Henry: Hell no. I just didn’t want to interrupt you if you were busy.
Paisley: Listen, if this is about before, I’m really sorry if I wasn’t paying enough attention to what you were saying, and if you’re serious about it, I won’t do anything to Carter. I got caught up in the moment. And the idea of giving him a zillion paper cuts like Lizzie suggested.
Henry: No, no, it’s not that. Though I appreciate you saying it. I know you’re going to do what you want to do. I really don’t want you to get in trouble in the process. I’m not going to lie, though, I do feel a little, tiny bit of glee at the thought of you making him a teeny, tiny bit miserable.
Paisley: HA, I KNEW IT! I AM VINDICATED! Ahem. I mean. Yeah, cool. So what’s up? Are you okay?
Henry: I need you to promise not to laugh at me. Or tease me about this. Or tell anyone else about it.
Paisley: Of course. Sure. I promise.
Henry: I have this huge crush on my TA.
Paisley: Is … is that all? Is your TA a man?
Henry: No, no. She’s a girl. A woman. She’s a JUNIOR.
Paisley: Nice, nice. Good for you! It’s fun to have crushes.
Henry: But I’m, like, in love with her. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Ever.
Paisley: Okay. That’s tough when you feel that way.
Henry: And I think she came on to me?
Paisley: WOO-HOO!
Henry: But that’s completely unethical! It would be morally repugnant for me to allow anything to happen between us!
Paisley: It would be morally repugnant if you exchanged grades for sexual favors, but a little flirting never hurt anyone. How did she come on to you?
Henry: She saw me in the campus center today and she sat with me.
Paisley: That’s cool. She likes being around you.