by Eva LeNoir
Just hearing those words had tears brimming my eyes, I didn’t think I had any left in my body after the last month and a half.
“I have a checklist of the things I want to ask him. About the business, the trust fund, the employees? Am I supposed to explain what happened? I mean, do I…,” I blinked back my threatening tears, “Do I tell them? Or just say he died of complications? God. I wish he wouldn’t do this, Mom,” I said, banging my head back against the headrest.
“Everything is in the contract and his will. His lawyers have had this ready for a while now, sweetheart. The obituaries, the internal memo, everything. All you need to do is say goodbye and then try to heal from the loss,” she said, her voice breaking at the last word. I knew it couldn’t be easy on her, either. They’d been crazy in love once, after all.
The thought reminded me of every blue rose that arrived at my house. No more notes, just a rose with blue string bow on the stem. His way of telling me he was waiting for me.
Inside, I went straight to my father’s room to spend time with him. I hated leaving, feeling that every minute without him was a minute I couldn’t take back. But there were choices I needed to make; tomorrow was one of them.
“Hey Daddy, how are you feeling?” I asked him, sitting on the bed next to him. Sitting up reading a book on the subtle art of giving zero fucks, “Wow, really, Dad? Is this your idea of irony?” I asked him, trying to make light of the fact that in less than a month the problems of this world would no longer affect him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but the thought of crying it out for the next four weeks was unbearable.
“I was trying to get some pointers for you, baby girl,” he said with difficulty and a real smile on his chapped lips.
“Here,” I handed him his honey lip balm.
“Thank you,” he put his hand on mine and squeezed it like he’d always done for the last twenty-two years. “How did your testing go?”
“It was fine. I gave blood. Listen,” I started, not wanting to go back on that conversation, “I’m going up to LA tomorrow morning,” I told him, not needing to elaborate, he knew what that meant. Marlon was the only person I would go up there to see.
With a bright smile that he tried to keep as long as possible, he nodded, “Of course, stay as long as you need,” he told me, “he loves you so much, baby girl.”
“Yeah well, we’ll see about that. I haven’t exactly been in touch so I may be too late,” I told him truthfully.
“No such thing, baby girl. When a man loves, he loves completely. And even when it’s over, he still loves. Still pines,” he leaned up closer to me and whispered, “That man would wait until his last breath for you, trust me.”
“Can we not talk about last breaths, please?” We both chuckled, and I got to my feet bending over to place a soft kiss on his forehead, and as per usual checking for any signs of fever.
“Jaidyn, stop hovering,” he scolded, a smile at the corner of his mouth.
“Fine. I’ll tell Mom to hover. You don’t mind when it’s her.” I gave him my best pout without any venom and walked out, leaving him to his books.
Chapter 57
Marlon
“Dude, I totally had that wave, but my foot slipped,” Justin cried out as we ran ashore, ready to call it a day. It was getting chillier and the wetsuit just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
“Yeah, yeah, I smoked you’re as-butt,” I corrected, trying my best not to cuss in front of the kid.
“Whatever, old man,” he said, out of breath before sprinting to his house, “See ya!”
I waved goodbye; a grin planted on my face.
Justin and Millie had become the best of friends. She had a lonely kid ready to learn a million things, his attention centered only on her, and she loved every minute of it.
“Hey little buddy,” I called out to Libs as he scratched at the plastic protection of the back porch, “where is everyone?”
I could hear Ethan, Luca, and Emma inside arguing about the sauce, too spicy, too mild. Those three couldn’t agree on the color of the sky if their lives depended on it.
“Will you three stop bitching?” I called from outside, shaking the water out of my hair and leaning my board on the wall.
“I’m not burning my tongue on a steak because some of you need to get your kicks anyway you can!” Emma deadpanned, “An entire jalapeno pepper in that small bowl of sauce is going to make you bleed next time you take a shit.”
“Gross,” came from Luca who just left the kitchen area, “Brother, I need to speak to the sane one in this family.”
“Don’t look at me,” I said peeling off the top of the wetsuit and patting him on the back, “I’m the one pining for a girl who doesn’t want shit to do with me.”
“Right. I forgot, I’m the only sane one in this damn house.”
I needed a shower and they needed to grow up.
Twenty minutes and a hot shower later, the speakers were playing something god awful that Justin had on his playlist. It was all electric music and I was damn sure there weren’t any real instruments involved. Millie had her back to me, talking to someone I couldn’t see, and the guys were on the porch getting the steaks ready on the grill.
“Change the music, kiddo, this sh-stuff is going to give me nightmares,” I told him, looking over his shoulder at the choices he offered. I suddenly felt old, not recognizing any of the names.
“Don’t you have anything, I don’t know, normal?” I asked him, running a hand through my damp hair, certain to get my t-shirt wet.
“What is normal now adays, dude? I mean, normality is a societal,” I cut him off right there.
“Yo, it’s not a dissertation, kid, just put some Marley on, we’ll all appreciate the chill mode,” I ruffled his hair and went over to see Millie.
The closer I got, the more curious I became about the person talking with her, considering Emma was on the couch playing with Liberace and we hadn’t invited anyone else.
“Hey Millie, who are you—” I froze when my foster mom turned around, revealing a sight that made my heart burn with fear and happiness, all at once. The familiar golden ringlets, hazel eyes that were only for me, a pouty mouth that I knew damn well tasted like heaven.
“Took you long enough,” Millie said as she passed me by with a pat on my cheek, “You grovel, and you get that lovely lady back.”
I couldn’t speak, barely understood the words she was saying but I knew instinctively that she had approved. Blinking back my surprise, I finally found my words.
“Jaidyn?” And then fear struck me, “Are you okay? Is Robert okay?” I couldn’t understand why else she would be here. Or how, for that matter.
“Everyone is fine, thank you for asking,” her voice was music, an aria that spoke directly to my soul.
“How did you…” suddenly the house seemed quiet, like no one was speaking, no one was breathing. Like everything in the world depended on this conversation.
Jaidyn smiled, that beautiful, mesmerizing smile and cocked her head toward those two bastards I called my brothers.
“You’re welcome, asshole,” Ethan called out.
“Language!” Millie said from somewhere inside.
“I swear I lose brain cells when I’m around you,” Emma complained from outside where the heat lamps had been set up for dinner.
“I like your friends,” Jaidyn said, shyly, like we were just meeting for the first time, “and your house. Not what I expected. I like that.”
“Jaidyn,” I started, because this whole small talk shit was about to kill me, “What are you doing here?” I asked but then quickly added, “Not that I’m not happy, I’m fucking thrilled but…” but you didn’t want anything to do with me.
“I miss you,” she said simply, and my heart started beating again for the first time in a month and a half.
“Fuck, Jaidyn,” I breathed out, “come on, get a jacket on, let’s go outside so these asswipes don’t eavesdrop.” Her giggle at my words was everythin
g.
A few minutes and enough distance later, we were finally alone, walking along the shore, side by side, in silence.
“I miss you, too,” I told her as a conversation starter because I didn’t know what else to say. Afraid to hope, terrified this was just a quick drop in.
Jaidyn stopped walking and circled my wrist with her delicate fingers, “Marlon?”
“Yeah, Jaybird?” I frowned, not sure if I still had the right to call her that.
“Is it too late to say that I’m sorry?” Her words hit me in the sternum, like a punch that knocked the wind out of me. There she was in simple jeans and a sweater, feet bare, hair wild with the cool breeze from the ocean, looking younger than her twenty-two years, and she was apologizing to me.
“It could never be too late, little bird. Not for you.” I told her honestly. I would have waited a lifetime if it meant kissing her just one more time.
“I’m sorry,” she started, “I’m sorry I made things more difficult for you. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. But mostly, I’m sorry I lied to you.”
She saw my frown, the confusion written all over my face, and raised a hand to run a finger on my brow.
“I’m all about the long haul,” she said, and it took me awhile to understand what she was saying. The haul, it was what I’d confessed in that picture-perfect cabin. I was in it for the long haul.
“But, what about,” I began, but she answered before I could finish my question.
“I trust you with my life, Marlon Brooks.”
And fuck me, those words were the most satisfying I’d heard in over a month. “Little bird, I’m going to kiss you now. And when I do, you’re mine. You won’t be able to leave again. You won’t be able to push me away. You won’t be able to get rid of me.” I told her; the truth of my words written in my eyes.
“Technically, you’re the one who left,” she shrugged, as if the memory of that Christmas morning didn’t hurt every time I thought about it.
“You’re right,” I murmured, taking a step closer and burying my hands in her wild hair. I took my time, looking at her face, making sure she was real, making sure this wasn’t another one of my daydreams. Running my nose along her cheek, I breathed in her scent, fresh flowers and Jaybird. The softness of her skin called out to me, telling me to fucking kiss the girl.
Tentatively, I brushed my lips across her plump ones, much like the first time I tasted her, and when she sighed on my mouth, I lost all semblance of control.
My mouth crashed on hers, biting her bottom lip, scraping my teeth along the soft flesh then licking the punishment away before my tongue demanded access.
We both moaned as our tongues danced around each other, caressing, and sucking and licking and biting, we kissed for what felt like centuries. In the distance, I could hear the childish cheers of my family as though their only interest in life was my relationship with Jaidyn.
When I reluctantly pulled away, I whispered, “Happy Birthday, little bird,” and her smile was brighter than the North Star illuminating the sky and leading me back home.
She shivered beneath my touch, prompting me to wrap my arms around her shoulders and bundled her against my chest.
“Come on, little bird, I want you to properly meet my family. And Liberace.” I told her, excited that she could finally know him.
“Oh my god, whatever happened with Ca—” I cut her off because, holy shit, I did not want to hear his name in a moment so precious.
“No, no. Don’t say that douchebag’s name.” She laughed at my tone and disgusted look on my face and the sound was everything I needed.
“Okay, then, what happened with Liberace? And I did meet him. He likes me,” she announced, chin high with pride.
“Of course, he does, he’s a little charmer like me,” I told her, kissing her on the top of her head as we reached the porch.
“I invited Animal Control to the house,” I explained, “Libs had been at Emma’s and the cleaning service had come more than once since his departure, so there hadn’t been anything to indicate an animal lived there,” I told her, recapping the entire twenty minutes they were there.
“Tell her about the bastard crying in his five-thousand-dollar suit like a snivelling asshat,” Ethan laughed as he served up dinner and uncorked the wine.
“Language!” Millie said on autopilot because at this point, there was no way for her to win.
“Luca, here, gave him a call. Explained the ins and outs of campaigning for money, and that if he wanted to even be considered for the running, he needed to play nice and back off or else the only memorable thing that would come out of his campaign would be the memes on Twitter.”
I chuckled thinking back to that moment when douchebag drowned in his own silence. It was epic.
Jaidyn laughed her carefree laugh, and everything, everything, was perfect in my world again.
Later that night, we were alone on the porch, everyone else had gone to bed.
The only one with us was Libs who was nestled in a ball between our bodies.
Cockblock.
“You know, I still have your birthday gift but I’m not sure if I should give it to you,” I was kidding, of course, I would give it to her. Except now, it would take on new meaning.
“Wait up, I’ll go get it,” I kissed her on the nose and chuckled when Libs made a displeased sound. It was three in the morning and neither of us was sleepy, needing this time to learn to be together again.
In my room, I cleaned up the mess I’d left earlier after my shower, throwing everything in the hamper and pulling the sheets and comforter over the bed. Going to the dresser, I opened the top drawer and took out the square box that contained her birthday gift.
Downstairs, I took out the bottle of champagne, that Millie always insisted on having just in case, and practically hopped back outside.
The box was still wrapped in the unmistakeable blue paper, the sight of which brought back painful memories.
Carefully, I sat back on the edge of the couch, and watched Jaidyn pull on the string that decorated the wrapping, then carefully detached the tape.
“Little bird, you need to open a little faster before I lose my mind,” I told her, itching for her to get to the good part.
When she finally reached the white and gold little box, she looked at me as though wanting to scold me for spending so much money. I rolled my eyes with a smirk on my lips and when she opened the box, on impulse and without having prepared a single second of the following events, I lowered myself to one knee and waiting for her reaction.
“Marlon?”
“I have nothing prepared for this, little bird, but seeing you open a box with a ring I chose for you, feels like the perfect moment for you to know this,” I took her free hand and with my movement, Libs woke up and eyed me skeptically like he thought I was a nutcase. Maybe I was but life was short and fuck playing it safe.
“For the first twelve years of my life, I had no idea what love was. It was only once Millie showed me that I got it. But when I met you, that’s when I truly understood, and little bird, my heart is so full of you, your smile, your kindness. Your empathy, your honesty. Everything you are, is everything I need in my life. I love you, Jaidyn, and I cannot imagine my life without you.” I brought the back of her hand to my mouth and kissed it lightly, “Will you do me the immense honor of being my little bird and building our nest with me? Will you marry me?”
When I looked back up, she was crying what looked like tears of joy but there was a cloud there, a storm brewing.
“I wish I could say yes, Marlon, I really do but there’s something I need to know first and until I do, I can’t, in good conscience, expose you to it,” she whispered, and I held out hope this wasn’t a complete rejection.
To be honest, I hadn’t planned a proposal, and if I had to take it back, I would have probably put more thought into it but Jaidyn deserved sincere and spontaneous. The ring itself wasn’t even an engagement ring,
the deep blue oval sapphire sitting on white gold was a reminder of my jaybird, my little blue bird. But in the end, it all seemed so perfect.
“What’s that, little bird?”
“I took the DNA test for Huntington’s,” she paused, wringing her hands then rubbing the empty space where her ring should be. Would be, eventually, “I’ll know the results in two or three weeks.” When she looked back up to me, I could read the worry in her eyes.
“I can’t say yes to you, I can’t put you in that position. The one I’m in now. What if I test positive? Are you prepared to watch me deteriorate? Watch me bed-ridden? Feed me?” she shook her head, wiping at her tears, “I can’t do that to you, Marlon.” She seemed so small in that moment, but my love was bigger than her disease. If, she even tested positive.
“Jaidyn, it doesn’t matter if I get fifty years or fifty days with you. I just don’t want another one to go by without you by my side.” I told her, sincerity dripping from every word.
“Can I think about it?” she asked tentatively.
My only answer was a kiss so full of love, words paled in comparison.
Chapter 58
Jaidyn
I didn’t put the ring on the next day, but I wanted to.
The moment on the porch we’d shared was ours alone, it was a minute in time where only Marlon and I existed. His proposal wasn’t thought out, it wasn’t social media worthy with the grand gestures and practiced words.
It was all Marlon. Simple and heartfelt.
The moment felt right for him, the circumstances of our situation called to him and he acted on his love. It was beautiful how open he was with his feelings, his view on life and love.
But as lovely and real as that moment was, my fears got the best of me.
I knew firsthand what it was like to watch the most important person in my life deteriorate a little more every day, week or year. I was there when he lashed out, I was usually his first victim because I was the closest to him, the one he could rely on the most. Playing the role of the mother or caregiver when all I wanted was to be his daughter and learn from this incredible man.