The Klowns of Kent

by steve higgs

  I heard sirens again, the blissfully welcome noise dopplering off the tall buildings of the High Street. Big Ben hauled me to my feet.

  ‘Let’s get them, Tempest.’ Big Ben had a full head of steam and was looking for something or someone to smash. I had seen it before. I would not want to be on the receiving end, but it was great to have by my side.

  ‘Yeah. Let’s do that.’ I replied.

  Ahead of us, the Klowns were no longer looking at us but were glancing around in all directions trying to find an escape route. The Police had cut them off from both ends of the High Street. I could see flashing lights coming from both directions. The sirens we had heard going past us was them circling around to trap them. Deadface was out there somewhere. I had to find him and force him to tell me what he had done with my dogs and Mrs. Comerforth.

  I got to my feet and started back down the alley towards its exit onto the High Street and the confusion of Klowns still there. Right on my shoulder were Frank Poison, Jagjit and Big Ben. Basic was most likely circling back around again.

  In a complete reversal, the Klowns ran and now we were chasing them. On the opposite side of the street, there was another alleyway. It looked like nothing more than a dark hole between two shops that was eating light rather than allow it to penetrate the gloom. Once the first Klown had disappeared down it, the rest were swift to follow. The Klowns were heading back towards the Castle. This was going to work in my favour.

  As I ran, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialled. As it picked up I started talking. Big Ben glanced at me but left his question unasked.

  The alley ended at the back of the two buildings forming it. We had now run three sides of a square and were crossing College Yard which would bring us back out next to the Cathedral.

  Perfect.

  Ahead of us, the Klowns skidded to a stop. There was roughly a dozen of them, all armed still and dangerous. We were behind them but it was what faced them that had brought them to a halt.

  In the clearing, just in front of the Cathedral, was a sea of clowns. The call I had made had been to Big Dick and the CLITs. I had promised I would keep him informed of my progress. My earlier call had been received when he and his cohort were meeting with Dr. Parrish again, right here in Rochester High Street. Dr. Parrish had recruited dozens of them, all at the same rate rather than for one fixed fee, so had he been able to banish the Klowns back to hell he would get a payday for it. My simple advice to Richard had been that the Klowns were here and we could end the whole thing tonight if they showed up in force.

  Now they were fanned out in a semi-circle, three deep in places, all of them hefting bats and looking angry despite the painted-on smiles.

  The Klowns had nowhere to go. From the midst of the clowns, a lone horn honked to break the standoff. Deadface screamed a banshee cry and charged them. The other Klowns followed him. It was the only tactic that could work. They would try to punch a hole through the line. There was no way I was going to let him escape but chasing after them yet again I realised that I could no longer tell who was who.

  In front of us was a melee of Klowns and clowns.

  Then, finally, the Police arrived. Someone was shouting instructions through a loudhailer, telling the maul of men to drop their weapons and lie down. No one paid him any heed.

  With a battle cry that started in the pit of my stomach, I charged. My ribs did their best to remind me I was still broken but I ignored their advice and ran, my head down to collide with the what I hoped was a Klown. It wasn't though. I let him go and tried another, grabbing him and spinning him around so I could work out whether to punch him or not. Wrong again.

  Where on earth was Deadface?

  ‘Tempest.’ A cry split the air in Amanda’s familiar voice.

  There she was, on the other side of the open space by a dark gap between buildings. A few paces to her left was CI Quinn directing the black uniforms as they met with the Klowns and clowns. In his hand was the loud hailer. He lifted it to his lips and bellowed out another command, drowning out what she was trying to tell me.

  I separated myself from the battle. Big Ben was behind me, visible above everyone else, smacking heads together and enjoying himself. Somewhere in the muddle of fighting bodies, would be Frank and Poison, but both were so short I could not see them, and I had no idea where Jagjit was. The Police were converging on the whole lot of them now, so I felt hopeful that the fight was over and my friends would be safe.

  I jogged quickly across the street to Amanda.

  ‘I lost Deadface.’

  ‘I saw two Klowns slip out towards the Castle. The Chief Inspector sent a team after them but if Deadface is not over there,' she said indicating the pile of people now with their hands in the air surrendering or already on the floor in cuffs. ‘then he must be this way instead.'

  ‘Amanda. I keep Tempest safe.’ Claimed a slightly out of breath Basic arriving by my side.

  ‘Yes, you did, buddy.’ I called back over my shoulder as I started down the dark path. If Deadface went this way, then I needed to catch up with him. ‘Amanda, I need you.’ I shouted as she was not following me. I had no clue where they had gone and little chance of tracking them without radio contact, which Amanda had.’

  She hesitated, looking at CI Quinn, then tore after me and Basic, speaking into her lapel mike as she ran.

  A muffled reply came back over her radio. ‘Go right, Tempest. They are heading towards the river.’ She shouted. We were all getting out of breath now. My pulse was hammering from adrenalin anyway, fighting was hard on the body even without getting hurt.

  We came out from between two buildings onto Epaul Lane and were back at the Castle grounds, but further away from the Cathedral than we had been. The scene ahead of us was one of desolation. Abandoned stalls, discarded clothing, food and general detritus from the event was strewn all over. Smaller, lighter items were being blown about by the chilly breeze. Several stalls had been knocked over and I could smell a fire somewhere, probably an untended food truck with food now burning on the hot plate. There were no people in sight, but I was sure they would return soon, the stall holders at least would want to get back to make sure their source of livelihood was intact.

  We cut down Castle Hill then had to run up the steep incline to enter the Castle grounds. Basic stopped before we reached the top. He was out of breath. Amanda glanced at him and may have stopped had she then not heard a call for help over her radio.

  Someone was hurt.

  ‘Oh, God.’ She swore. ‘It’s Brad.’ She was talking into the radio to get their position. We had paused as we needed a direction to head in. I wanted to find Deadface, but casualties had to take precedence. Basic caught up with us just as Amanda yelled and ran off again. Across the Castle grounds in the dark towards the exit onto the esplanade and the river.

  At the steps that led down to the road from the Castle, we saw two forms on the ground, both in uniform. I recognised Brad Hardacre immediately. I did not know the other Officer, but they were both clearly hurt and were leaking blood onto the cold stone.

  Amanda swore again and called for assistance at our location. We were both attending to the wounded, each using our training to stem the blood flow.

  ‘Hey, buddy. What's your name?' I asked the Officer. He was conscious, and I wanted to keep him that way. I had not seen blood like this since I was in the Army.

  ‘Ian.’ he said. He was not very talkative and had given me his name through gritted teeth. I reassured him while I checked the wound. It was a stab to his abdomen and was spilling enough blood that it must have nicked his artery there.

  CI Quinn’s voice came over the radio. ‘Harper. Report. What is your location and situation?’ he sounded cool, calm and in control. Part of me wanted to throttle him, the rational part of my brain observed that he had most likely risen to his position because of such attributes.

  ‘At the north side of the Castle grounds, on the steps leading down to the esplanade. Hardacre and Bloomw
ell are injured. Stabbed, and need urgent medical attention.’

  He acknowledged her message and the line went dead again.

  Brad was speaking from his prone position. A team of six had gone after Deadface and one other but had lost them and split up into three pairs. Brad and Ian had been attacked and stabbed as they came past a stall that the two Klowns had been hiding in. They escaped down the stairs but the Klowns had made no attempt to pursue them anyway. The last thing Brad had seen was the Klowns disappearing back towards the Castle itself.

  I did not think that Ian or Brad was losing enough blood that their lives were in danger, provided of course that they were treated and taken to the hospital fairly soon. I wanted to go. I wanted to find Deadface.

  ‘Basic.’ I called him over to me.

  ‘Yur?’

  ‘I need you to hold this in position here and keep pressure on it until the paramedics arrive?' I said, showing him the clean handkerchief I had stuffed into Ian's wound. It was now soaked with his blood, of course, but it was doing its best to slow down the blood leaking out of him.

  ‘Tempest, what are you doing?’ asked Amanda. She was a few feet away from me on the floor tending to Brad and his similar wound.

  ‘Ian is fine, Amanda. Deadface is out there. We catch him now or he slips away and…’

  ‘Don’t you dare leave, Tempest. That man needs you.’ she snapped at me.

  ‘Amanda, the man needs proper medical attention. Until then he will be just fine being looked after by Basic. I am going to find the Klown. When I get back we can discuss how you and Quinn were using me as bait.' My words were angry and harsh. I doubted she had been complicit in the concept of using me as bait to draw the Klowns in, but she had known about it or had become aware of it at some point and had not told me. It compromised the trust I expected to exist between us as work partners. It was something I would have to address with her soon, but not now. Now I was filled with rage and I planned to use it as fuel to finish this.

  I stood up as Basic manoeuvred himself into the position I had occupied. I patted my pockets and set off.

  ‘Tempest!’ Amanda shouted from behind me. ‘Tempest, damn you!’

  She was right to be upset about me leaving Ian to bleed while I went after Deadface, but I needed to do this.

  Back up the ancient stone steps, I re-entered the Castle grounds. It was still devoid of people, the only noise I could hear was from the items being blown about by the wind. I stood still and listened.

  Nothing.

  I was certain the Police would have blocked off all access roads by now making escape by car improbable. On foot, they might manage to slip through, but I knew there were Police Officers looking for them.

  The Castle grounds were too vast though, with too many shadows for me to believe the Klowns could not slip through whatever net the Police might try to cast. I had to guess where Deadface would go if I wanted to catch him.

  So where would he be trying to get to, which route would provide the greatest chance to slip away? I spun in place, my eyes closed and my mouth open to amplify any noise that might be available to hear. I had no way of applying intelligence to determine a likely direction to head in. There were so many possible streets that led away from the Castle. To the north and just beyond the outer Castle wall was the river.

  The river?

  I stopped trying to work it out and started running. I would be right or wrong.

  It turned out I was both. Deadface wasn't trying to run. He was waiting for me. I ran through the Castle grounds heading towards the Castle itself. To the right of it was a door in the wall that led to a set of steps down to street level. As I went through the door, he hit me. The blow came full in the chest, his bat swinging hard. It might have killed me had I not been wearing armour and been fortunate enough that the blow landed squarely on the Kevlar plate.

  I was shocked more than hurt although there was enough force to drive the air from my lungs. I fell, tucking into a roll to get some distance. He was alone, or at least I could not see another Klown with him. Perhaps the other guy has seen the sense in making good his escape.

  Deadface came at me with the bat. I was still on the ground, in pain and short of breath, he was going to try to kill me, I was certain of that. He raised it above his head as he came running forward. I kicked him in his knees before he could complete the downswing and ruined his aim. The bat struck the ground next to me and was momentarily motionless. I wrapped my right arm around it, ignoring the pain in my ribs and rolled my whole body over to wrest it from his grasp.

  Now I span my legs around to get them under me and came up fast with an uppercut to his chin delivered courtesy of the top of my head. I heard the connection of bone on bone reverberate through my skull. I did not have much fight left in me and I was alone, so I either ended this quickly or I would lose.

  He stumbled back holding his face, blood coming from his mouth.

  ‘Where are my dogs?’ I demanded.

  ‘Dead.’ He sneered pulling out the wicked knife he had been brandishing earlier. ‘Why don’t you join them?’

  I had to dive out the way as he lunged for me. I came up against the outer wall of the Castle grounds. It was a low wall, perhaps no more than five feet tall. He slashed at me again, I parried as his arm went past me, but he kept hold of the knife. On the backswing I timed his movement, allowing him to get closer, the blade nicked my arm as I ducked back but with the knife past me and travelling away from my body, I pushed off the wall and hit him with my left fist as hard as I could in the side of his head. It changed his trajectory, causing him to topple. The knife was still in his right hand until I kicked his forearm and it flew away into the dark.

  I was drawing ragged breaths against my broken ribs. I needed to throw myself on him and pin him, get a sleeper hold in place or something but I felt that I must look like an exhausted boxer in the fifteenth round, barely able to keep my fists up and constantly stumbling.

  Deadface was little better than I. The Police had finally spotted us though, they were all the way across the Castle grounds, more than one hundred metres distant but running towards us. I spotted CI Quinn and Amanda among the twenty or so coming our way.

  Deadface saw them too. He found new energy, got to his feet and climbed onto the Castle wall. He was trying to escape over it. I tried to stop him but a backhanded swing from him pushed me away. There was a drop on the other side of the wall that was over one hundred feet. I noticed it just before he jumped, changed his mind and attempted to run back past me to get to the door and steps he had ambushed me from just a minute ago.

  I snagged his foot as he went by which tripped him. As he fell, he lost his balance and fell to the outer edge of the wall. I caught a flailing arm, not because I wanted to save him but from instinct. He was hanging mostly off the wall, his left hand locked in my right. His eyes locked on mine, showing anger more than fear.

  I glanced to my right, the Police were still fifty metres away, they could all see the drama playing out before their eyes. Holding his weight with my right arm, my ribs were on fire, I could not breathe from the searing agony and lights were starting to dance in front of my eyes.

  ‘This is your fault.’ Deadface squeaked at me.

  I let him go.

  The Aftermath. Friday, 28th October 2151hrs

  I sat in the back of the ambulance hugging my knees and staring at nothing. I had been reunited with Big Ben, Jagjit, Frank, Poison, and Basic. To my great relief, they were all uninjured. The clowns had been separated from the Klowns and the Klowns had been arrested and taken away. I would have to catch up with Big Dick later, for now, I was content with the report that they were also all alive.

  The CLITs had been in Rochester receiving instruction from Dr. Lyndon Parrish on how to cast a circle of protection when I had called Big Dick. When he had announced to the group that I was going to fight the Klowns and that they were also in Rochester, Lyndon had decided he could take them all down in one go. H
e had all the right ingredients to set a huge banishing circle. Dr. Parrish was in the hospital with a concussion from the blow to his head. I figured he would probably make a full recovery and had got off very lightly. The CLITs had followed Big Dick's lead and, having seen the Klowns ignore Dr. Parrish's attempt to magically bind them, had agreed to try it his way. There had been forty-three angry clowns to spring the trap. It was a little ruthless of me to use them like that, I could have easily got someone killed, but I hadn't and they all had tales of heroic effort to tell now.

  Deadface was… well, he was dead. He had fallen from the Castle wall onto the street below, but it was too far to drop and survive. The Police were not holding me responsible for his death, but I knew that I was. I had only needed to hang on for another four or five seconds, had I done so, the Police would have been upon us and could have pulled him back.

  I had let go because I wanted to. I wondered how long that would haunt me.

  For his part, CI Quinn had seen that I was administered to. When he came to check on me I threatened to kill him. My words were not well received. I accused him of using me as bait, of getting two or more of his own Officers hurt and of cowardly subterfuge. He would most likely get a glowing report for his handling of the case. When he departed, Amanda had appeared looking sheepish.

  ‘Why did you not tell me?’ I asked her. ‘What if they had killed Big Ben, or Jagjit, or anyone? What about my dogs?’

  ‘What about the dogs?' she asked worriedly.

  ‘Deadface took them. He showed me their collars as a taunt and told me they were dead.’

  Mrs. Comerforth!

  ‘Amanda you have to get a car to my neighbour’s house right now. She was looking after the dogs. She might still be alive but hurt.’ I gave her the house number to be sure she got the right place and sent her away without another word. I was not in a talking mood.

  Presently the paramedics told me they were taking me to A&E. I refused though. I was going home. I was bloody and beaten but they had sutured the knife cut to my arm so there was nothing else they could do for me in hospital.