Fallen Hearts

by Angela Colsin

  The lack of fatigue was so satisfying she nearly felt invincible, and tried to think of some way to show Stephan her gratitude. Yet, with the sound of his blood flowing through his veins right against her ear, her thoughts soon turned to the curiosity of what it might taste like, or how thick it would be to drink, quietly inhaling the scent deep.

  A vampire's sense of smell wasn't as developed as their hearing or vision, but it was highly attuned to blood, and Stephan's was saccharine. The scent combined with the sound of its flow bombarded her, evoking the urge to lift her head and run kisses along his throat so she could feel his pulse against her lips.

  Only one thing stopped her—the sensation of her fangs sharpening as she unexpectedly went into bloodlust.

  For a vampire who prided herself on control, such an occurrence was unacceptable, though not entirely unexpected. It'd been quite some time since Maddox enjoyed the experience of drawing straight from the source—arguably the best way to feed—and their link only amplified the temptation to answer the call of Stephan's blood by drawing from it, experience it coming to life within her.

  But an enticement so strong it triggered bloodlust without warning? Dangerous.

  Tensing her upper lip, Maddox forced her fangs into submission, ready to lift her head and put some distance between them before she acted without thinking.

  Yet the moment she moved, she found herself pinned on her back with a muscled forearm braced across her chest.

  Stephan loomed above her, glaring as if he'd just tackled an enemy, probably because she'd startled him awake. So Maddox didn't move, unwilling to make things worse before he had a chance to realize it was only her, and thankfully, his harsh expression soon softened.

  “Maddox?”

  “I didn't mean to wake you,” she answered—and wondered if the purr in her voice was just her imagination. But she couldn't help it. His hips were now wedged firmly against hers, and the size of his body did nothing to quell her lust for blood—and sex.

  It was strange to suddenly crave satisfaction for hunger and physical pleasure simultaneously. Maddox couldn't recall ever wanting both at once before. But if her hunger alone could be described as an ache, then right now, she was in agony.

  His mouth was close enough to allow her to lean up and kiss him as well, and her gaze locked on his lips. Furthermore, Stephan wasn't moving, his heartbeat speeding up, leading her to believe two things.

  First, her eyes weren't glowing red, otherwise he probably would've become angry.

  Second? He wants me as well.

  It was a reminder of his reaction to their kiss two nights ago, and how he'd told her he wasn't interested—but she could feel his interest pressing into her lower stomach that very moment, and it was certainly feeding her own.

  Without thought, she slowly drew her hands up his back and across the sinew beneath his thin shirt. Stephan tensed as if the movement had drawn him out of some stupor, his heart hammering more swiftly while he rasped in answer to her comment, “It's okay.”

  But Maddox wasn't listening, slowly leaning up to press her lips against his. At the initial contact, he released a pent up breath, then kissed her back without restraint, sweeping his tongue into her mouth with an urgency that was only outmatched by the way he moved to wrap his arms around her.

  Their lips parted, tongues meeting stroke for stroke as her legs raised around his hips, drawing him in closer. In turn, his jeans ground directly between her thighs—and her panties did nothing to dull the sensation.

  Curling her fingers into his shirt as the ache between her legs grew stronger, Maddox let a loud moan into his mouth, so aroused by his movements that her fangs immediately sharpened.

  And as before, it brought their kiss to an abrupt halt.

  The moment Stephan felt them, he quickly drew back, causing a heavy sense of disappointment to overwhelm her. He must have feared cutting himself on them and possibly driving her into some kind of feeding frenzy—but there wasn't any time to question it.

  Just when she thought he was going to get up before she could explain her inability to control her bloodlust being so aroused, he turned his head and pressed his mouth to her cheek, trailing kisses along it to her jaw and over her throat.

  Gasping, Maddox's eyes slid shut, her head falling back as she splayed her fingers in his hair to hold him close. Each kiss was reverent, even desperate, and she'd never desired any man's attention so badly, her lips parting with his name filling the alcove around them on a soft moan.

  The sound seemed to spur him on, and Stephan began kissing a line from her throat and down to her breasts where her robe had fallen open to expose her black lace bralette, making her nipples harden in anticipation. At the same time, his hand slowly drew up her thigh, heat traveling to her core when his fingers hooked into the band of her panties as if to tug them off.

  And Maddox wanted more so badly she couldn't stand it.

  “Stephan, please don't stop,” she murmured seductively against his ear, lifting her legs at his sides in a show of need.

  But his response wasn't at all the one she desired.

  At the sound of her voice, Stephan froze in place, taking a deep breath before turning his head with a low curse, then pushed himself off of her completely.

  The empty space he left above her seemed even more stark than spending her days entombed in a sarcophagus. Confused, and extremely disappointed as he turned away to settle at the foot of the bed, Maddox drew out his name on a husky voice while sitting up behind him.

  In the process, her disheveled robe fell open, but she made no attempts to cover up again. Instead, she placed a hand on his shoulder, asking, “Are you afraid I'll take your blood?”

  After a brief hesitation, he admitted, “That's part of it,” and stood from the bed without sparing her a second glance.

  “Wait,” she rushed out, grabbing his hand to stop him. “What's the other part?”

  “I just got carried away,” he muttered, promising like he'd made a huge mistake, “It won't happen again.”

  “What if I want it to happen again?”

  At that, he momentarily froze, and she could hear his heartbeat accelerating, suggesting he wanted the exact same thing. But he tugged his hand from hers regardless and answered, “Trust me, you don't,” then headed toward the dressing room, leaving her to stare in disbelief.

  Maddox didn't think she'd ever met such a perplexing human.

  She could understand if he was conflicted over whether he should give into his impulses. After all, his racing heartbeat, as well as the erection she'd detected grinding between her legs a moment ago didn't lie about his interest, and he seemed willing enough to pursue it—until he noticed her fangs.

  But saying she wouldn't want to continue almost seemed to imply that there was actually a danger in getting close, and it made no sense.

  Slipping to the foot of the bed with the intent of following him into the dressing room, she suddenly heard Stephan muttering to himself, “I hope I don't forget there's no toilet in here when I'm half asleep.”

  Maddox grinned in amusement, asking once he returned to the bedroom, “Should I have one installed for you?”

  He parted his lips to respond, but the words stuck in his throat as he took in her state of undress—and Maddox let him get a good, long look.

  Lifting an arm to rest at the corner wall of the alcove, she inquired playfully, “What's the matter? Vamp got your tongue? Or maybe,” she glanced down at the noticeable bulge in his jeans, “something a little more southerly?”

  At her teasing, Stephan offered the single most irritated look she'd ever seen, then started for the sitting room, muttering on the way, “No, you just need to put some clothes on.”

  Each word was like being doused with a bucket of cold water. Maddox had never received such an indifferent response, particularly from a man whose blood was racing the way Stephan's was—and it was exasperating.

  There was no denying his attraction to her, so why
the hell was he backing away at every turn? Was space what he needed? Time to come to terms with it?

  Or was he hiding something altogether different?

  One way or the other, Maddox intended to find out.

  27

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Stephan's erection could've stopped a speeding car.

  In the upstairs bathroom, he found himself leaning on the sink, breathless in aroused frustration. It was hard enough trying to calm his racing heart after prematurely stopping what promised to be the most erotic experience he'd ever had, but Maddox's reactions, and seeing her in that damned lingerie, made him curse his entire lot in life.

  All he could think about was the way she'd writhed beneath him, and his desire to trace every sumptuous curve she possessed with his mouth.

  What if I want it to happen? she'd asked, and Stephan would've given anything to fulfill her desires. But unless those wants included potentially dying from Ithrim, satisfying her was out of the question.

  Sadly, that didn't stop him from imagining just how gratifying it would be to drive his hips between her thighs and hold her tight while she came for him again and again.

  Stephan groaned at the thought, turning the cold water on to splash over his face. Who the hell am I kidding? For as much as he wanted Maddox, he wouldn't have been able to please her even if he was healthy. The most he'd ever done was some heavy petting, so it was very doubtful she wouldn't notice how inept he'd be actually having sex.

  Besides, their brief interlude in the bedroom was more than he could've ever asked for. She was so damned warm, and the way she'd moaned his name? Heaven. He'd never heard it on such a seductive tone, making him forget exactly why he couldn't just remove her clothing and learn every inch of her voluptuous body for himself.

  So Stephan settled on kissing her like his life depended on it, and eliminated the risk of cutting himself once her fangs were jutting by moving onto other areas. All he'd needed was a single moment more, time enough to pretend he was actually fit for Maddox, and brand the way it felt having her so close on his mind.

  But reality wouldn't be kept at bay, particularly when there was a serious chance of hurting her, and he forced himself to stop.

  He'd say there was nothing worse than to want someone and know it couldn't be, but that was only half of it. Now, she was waiting downstairs where he'd return and have to act as if what happened hadn't affected him whatsoever, pretend it was all just some lustful mistake.

  This is so fucked.

  Or … if she was insistent, why couldn't he just pleasure her and take care of his own needs by himself? As long as there was no exchange of blood or any bodily fluids, she wouldn't contract Ithrim.

  But for as much as he wanted to believe it was possible, Maddox would likely push for more than he could give, and how would he deny her without offering a full explanation?

  So it wasn't possible, and besides, what would've been the point? He wasn't starting a relationship, and even if he did, then what? She was immortal, and he'd eventually die regardless of his illness.

  Or would they get serious enough that she'd want to sire him? Me? A vampire?

  It seemed unlikely without a blood link—something he'd heard most vampires needed before turning a mortal was even considered. But regardless, Stephan couldn't begin to imagine what living that life would be like. Some might jump at the opportunity, but having a blood diet and never seeing the sun simply wasn't appealing in his book.

  Not that the thought was as offensive as it would've been several weeks ago, and all because of Maddox. She was proof that becoming a vampire didn't go hand in hand with becoming evil—but he couldn't see himself pining for it anyway.

  Unless it meant having her in my life.

  The sudden thought caused Stephan's breath to leave him in a rush. What the hell's wrong with me? Did he really care about Maddox enough to seriously consider what it would be like to live with her as a vampire? It wasn't even possible to begin with!

  If she turned him, Ithrim would ensure they'd both die not long after. So potential for a cure aside, he had to face facts—he was dying, and just considering ways to make something work put Maddox in danger.

  This meant the only viable option was to distance himself. Unless some miraculous information came up at random, their search for Mathias didn't look like it would see any results for about three weeks, and that was more than enough time to make a fatal mistake if they got too close.

  He may even have to make her hate him, but he didn't care. Maddox's opinion was far less important than her life, and he'd rather die knowing she was well than literally kill her.

  With the thought in mind, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the sink, and scoffed in disgust, turning away to exit the bathroom. What the hell did she see in him, anyway? Was her libido so starved that even he looked good?

  That had to be it. Her attraction must have been the result of a perception colored by a lack of satisfaction, and not some all-encompassing verdict.

  Thankfully, by the time he returned to the basement, she'd donned a red tank top and a pair of jeans—not that the sight of her nearly naked wasn't still fresh in his mind, threatening to make him hard all over again.

  As he stepped into the sitting room after getting her invitation to enter by knocking, she looked over from her place on the sofa and mentioned, “You don't have to knock, you know? You didn't at the compound.”

  “I didn't respect you then,” he pointed out.

  “Well, it seems you do now, and you're not entirely comfortable with it.”

  “Guess not,” he muttered, knowing it was at least partially true, just not for the reasons she'd assume.

  Sitting up, Maddox set her bare feet on the floor and qualified, “Then we should talk about it, Stephan, clear the air.”

  “I'm dealing with it, don't worry,” he returned, hoping to keep this simple despite the nagging feeling it was going to be anything but—and Maddox didn't waste a moment proving him right with her very next statement.

  Standing from the sofa, she stepped around the coffee table and came within three feet of where he stood, informing him, “I'm not worried, just extremely curious. Is it just me, or are you troubled by what might happen if we get too close?”

  Stephan didn't bother masking his groan, seeing that if this situation was going to be diffused, he was going to have to play the disinterested party perfectly. So, with a shake of his head, he turned to sit at the desk next to the door as casually as possible.

  “I'm just not interested,” he lied. “Not sure what I have to do to make you believe that, but it's as plain as I can put it. I'm not in a good place for a … relationship anyway.”

  “Who said anything about a relationship?”

  Staring up at her, his brows drew together, and when he realized she meant they could have casual sex, he quickly directed, “Stop.”

  “Why? We're both—”

  “I said stop, damn it. I'm not looking for a friend with benefits, or anything else.”

  In his growing agitation, he stood from his seat to pace, desperately trying to keep his mind off of such an arrangement—and the disappointed look on Maddox's face didn't help matters one damned bit. The thought of joining her in the basement whenever they had time to spend just slaking each others' lusts had his pulse quickening its pace, and he definitely didn't need to see how much she wanted the same thing.

  “See?” she randomly mentioned during his thoughts. “Your pulse is racing now. You are interested.”

  Damn it, forgot she could hear that. Her ability to detect the rate of his heart definitely made it harder to disguise his desires, leaving him with little choice other than using anger to get his point across.

  “Maddox,” he snapped, looking her in the eyes as he nearly enunciated the words I don't want you. But Stephan simply couldn't tell such a huge lie while holding her gaze, saying instead, “Any guy's gonna get excited thinking about something like that, but it doesn
't mean I wanna act on it.”

  “Because I'm a vampire?”

  Not anymore. The truth of it still stunned him, and though Stephan didn't want to lie by agreeing with her question, if Maddox believed there was some other reason for his disinterest, she'd probably push until she learned the truth.

  So he simply nodded.

  “I don't hate you, Maddox, but I'm not used to being friendly with one, so I'd rather keep this simple. Besides, why do you care so much? You can't be that interested.”

  “Why not?” she asked without pause. “I don't know if anyone's told you this, but you're a wonderful kisser, Stephan, and it's extremely frustrating to stop when it's been such a long time since I was even remotely interested in enjoying such things.”

  Then I was right. This wasn't a case of true interest, she was just barking up whatever tree was convenient, and he didn't waste any time pointing it out.

  “Did you ever think that might be coloring your perceptions? You're with a man who hates vampires, remember? There are a million guys better than that to spend your days with if that's what you want.”

  Stephan desperately fought to ignore the way his gut possessively clenched over the thought of her finding some random man to satisfy her desires. Maddox wasn't the one who had to abstain, and if she could enjoy her life, then she damned well deserved to. Gods only knew she'd been through enough as it was.

  “Are you trying to tell me not to settle?” she asked, sounding amused. “Stephan, I'm not acting out of a lack of options. It's actually uncommon for a vampire to be sexually aroused.”

  That was news to him. “What?”

  Enforcing her point with a nod, she went on, “We have to be well fed to experience such desire to begin with, and even then, it's hard to find someone who interests us enough to feel the need to act on it.”

  “Then … you just haven't been with anyone because you're not interested?”

  As if to prove her point, she thoughtfully looked up and qualified, “I think it's been over a century now since I actually slept with anyone, and before that? I couldn't guess.”