Calmet looked at Ethan. "You just keep telling yourself that," he said. "It is one thing to know your lover is lost, it is another to know you were the one who took her life."
Ethan sighed and slumped back in the chair. "I thought you were going to make this easier on me," Ethan said.
"I am going to do my best, boy," Calmet said. "When the time comes, I will take care of her. No need to burden yourself with as much regret as I have. There is still hope for you."
Ethan appreciated Calmet's concern for him, but he doubted that any hope for him yet remained on this earth. "When we were leaving the monastery," Ethan said, "you said something about someone caring about me enough to give me my medallion. What did you mean by that?"
"Those amulets were made by the most ancient of vampires themselves," Calmet explained. "Vampires are usually fiercely jealous of one another and are usually very vindictive. Vampires do not tend to take the ones they leave behind in this world. Former lovers and children are reminders of what they left behind, but they are not spared from possibly being taken by another vampire. The amulets are meant to guard the human loves of the vampires."
"Why would they care? If they sold their souls to Satan, what do they care who they damn?"
Calmet chuckled a little at Ethan's accusations. "Oh, I don't have all the answers, boy, just legends. At one time, the amulets were given to those whom the vampires chose. Over time, they passed through families, were bought and sold as just another piece of jewelry, or were lost. Some of us got them the old fashioned way."
"Your wife gave you yours?"
"Yes," Calmet reflected. "After she died and I wandered my way back home, I found it in our bedroom. I had not been home for many weeks, so I don't know when she left it. But I have kept it ever since. She left one to our daughter as well. Mine has proved useful, but I do not think they are as powerful as they once were."
"What do you mean? How do they work?"
"Well, whether an amulet could kill a vampire or if it just represents some vampire code of honor to not hurt one who owns it, I am not sure. As you saw today, an amulet certainly can injure a vampire, but in the end, it may just be another pretty jewel."
Ethan thought about his medallion and the way she gave it to him. She perplexed him. Why would she want to protect him if she chose to marry another? She may as well have stabbed him in the heart. Was she only prolonging his torture? But it was her mother's; it must have meant something to her.
Ethan thought it best to try to get some sleep. He bid Calmet goodnight and climbed the stairs to the master bedroom. He undressed and crawled between the sheets. He lay in the cold room, in the big, empty bed, and curled up in a little ball. Every creak and groan of the old house made him jump. Eventually, he dozed off with the precious jewel clutched tightly in his grasp.
16
As Victoria walked home, she felt something she had not felt in a long time – cold. She was absolutely freezing. She pulled her cape about her as tears streamed down her face. There were so many reasons to cry now. How could Ethan be so cruel to her? Even though she had been the one to send Ethan away, the one to insist she had to marry Sebastian, she harbored a secret fantasy that Ethan would come back to her, that he would somehow rescue her and they would still live a quaint but happy life together. But now, the secret longing that had kept her going was dashed into a million pieces. She had to marry Sebastian.
She tried to hurry home; the eyes she always felt watching her whenever she walked in the woods made her nervous tonight. About halfway home, she stopped and looked out into the woods. The white snowflakes fell around her and landed on her black cape. A slight breeze blew and the delicate flakes landed on her face, her cheeks, her eyelashes, her nose, and melted, merging with her salty tears. She looked behind her toward the village and felt pain, loss, regret. She looked ahead to her father's castle and felt fear, anger, and loathing. She stood as if nailed to the ground for several minutes in the freezing night air. In the depths of despair, there was nowhere for her to go. But there, in the woods, in this one solitary moment, she was at least free to be with her own thoughts. "Will you shelter me?" she asked the trees through her soft sobs, "Where can I find peace?"
She heard a rustling behind her and she quickly turned to see who was there. She saw nothing except clumps of snow falling from the high limbs of the nearly black pine trees to the piles of snow on the ground. Off in the distance, she heard a lone wolf howl. She shrugged off the feeling of being watched, pulled her cape tighter around her, and continued on her way home.
When she finally arrived at the castle, it was almost sunrise. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and entered the main parlor.
"Helena!" she yelled as she climbed the stairs to her room.
Helena appeared quickly. "Yes, Miss?"
"I am cold. I need you to draw me a hot bath." Helena opened her mouth in surprise.
"Now, Miss? It is so late and you know the night I have had…"
"Now!" Victoria yelled, cutting her off. This was one of the rare times Victoria exerted her rank over her servant.
Helena followed Victoria to her room and pulled back the curtains from around the tub. Victoria climbed into bed fully dressed and tried to get warm while she waited. Helena and Tessa both had to carry pails of water from the pump in the kitchen up the stairs to her room in order to fill the tub. Helena put a large cauldron of water on the fire in the bedroom to boil. She had to carefully carry the pails of scalding hot water to the tub. The girls helped Victoria undress and put her things away. Then she dismissed them so she could soak in peace and quiet.
Victoria laid her head back and closed her eyes. The water went up to her neck, but her face still felt cold. She took a deep breath and slid completely under the water. She tried to stop thinking about Ethan. The cold way he looked at her chilled her even in the near-boiling water. She thought of how necessary it was to marry Sebastian and end the curse. The way Calmet had looked at her she knew he was there to kill her and her family. She knew that the nosferatu killed people, but it was not their fault. How could Ethan be in league with Calmet? Was he so angry with her he would want to have her killed? Was this the man she had loved for so long?
She was running out of breath, but she didn't want to emerge. She finally began to feel warm when she thought she saw a shadow of someone over her. She opened her eyes and through the water saw a man looking down at her. She sat up and gasped for air.
"Sebastian!" she said, pulling her knees up and covering herself with her arms as best she could. "What are you doing in here?"
"I heard you were home," he said, not turning away but continuing to scan her wet body with his roving eyes, "but I did not hear any noise coming from your room when I walked by. I was worried."
"So you entered without my permission?" she asked.
"I knocked, but you didn't reply. I was worried."
"I am fine. You can go now."
"Are you really fine?" he asked, bending down to her level next to the tub. "I think that when someone tries to drown herself so soon before her wedding, things are not fine."
"I was not trying to drown myself. I was just cold and trying to warm up," she explained.
"If that is your story, I can certainly help you with that." He reached out and touched her bare shoulder with a cold touch that shocked her warm skin.
"Ha!" she said, jerking away. "With a touch like that I would be warmer in a blizzard. No, you cannot help me. You should go."
"I am just trying to help," he said as he stood and turned away from her just long enough for her to pull the curtain. She did not trust him for one minute and thought it best to get out of the tub and put some clothes on. She quickly toweled off and pulled a long, linen nightgown on over her head. "Really, Victoria, I don't know why you recoil from me every time I try to reach out to you," he said as she dressed.
"Maybe if you were reaching out to get to know me instead of reaching out to touch me I would be more willing to sp
end time with you." She pulled back the curtain and noticed the profound look of disappointment on his face at seeing her clothed. "That is exactly what I am talking about," she said as she sat at her vanity and brushed her hair.
"Well, can you blame me?" he playfully asked. "I have had to sit here in this place for the last six months counting down the days to when I get to claim you as my own and you don't even give me a little taste of what I am waiting so patiently for."
"I don't think you are waiting very patiently if you have been sleeping with my maids," she replied, looking at him.
"What?" he innocently asked. "I don't know what you mean."
"Don't lie to me," she said, walking toward him. "I know you have been with Helena. As well as the concubines you brought with you," she said disdainfully.
"It is just a way of life, Victoria. You can't be angry with me for that. I have had those girls since before you were even born."
"And after we marry?" she asked. "What then? Am I simply to be added to your list of things to do? Will my name come before or after theirs?" The angry tone in her voice and the way she crossed her arms was just asking for a fight.
Sebastian loved the way her cheeks flushed when she got angry. The hard look in her eyes, the way she gritted her teeth. He was not sure if she was truly angry or if she just used anger as a coping mechanism to meet his intimidating way of speaking to her.
He loved intimidating her. He could never truly control her or impose his will upon her because of who her father was, but making her tense and nervous, even afraid, proved that he was the master of her mentally. Soon enough, he would master her physically. Just watching her as her temper rose got him hard and excited. It would be so easy just to throw her on the bed and take her even before she could let out a scream Vincent could hear, but he enjoyed the chase too much to end it so quickly.
The way he looked at her made her quiver. She was angry and afraid, but she was also worried about ever becoming attracted to him. He was tall and strong, but not as bulky as Vincent. There was something about him that made him seem younger than her father. His dark eyes were more playful and his hair was always falling over his face in a boyish manner. She tried to convince herself that it was possible to find a man's personality repulsive but still be attracted physically. The fact she found such an appalling person even remotely attractive, however, made her feel disgusted with herself.
"Oh, my poor darling, are you jealous?" he asked, reaching out and rubbing her arm patronizingly.
She scoffed and turned away. "Jealous? Of those things? I don't think so."
"Well, you needn't worry," he said, putting his arms around her and his cheek next to hers. "What I get from you in conversation and unwavering support is nothing compared to the physical, animalistic pleasures I receive from them."
"You're disgusting!" she said, pulling away. "Why must you act this way? In just a short while, we will live as husband and wife, and I can't even stand to be in the same room with you! Just get out! Leave me alone with my self-loathing and pity!" She sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. She was determined not to cry, but she was so infuriated she just wanted to scream. The world was spinning so entirely out of her control she felt completely helpless.
The thought of marrying Sebastian and freeing her family from the curse once seemed so noble. After Ethan had disappeared, she tried to convince herself she was doing the right thing. She was once so willing to martyr her own happiness for the sake of others. But after meeting Sebastian in person, her resolve wavered. Now, it did not seem so worth it. She was miserable, and the thought of bringing children like Sebastian into the world made her shudder. If only Ethan had at least taken her once, just once, she would not be filled with so much regret.
Sebastian, reveling inside at her torment, sat beside her on the bed. "You're right," he said. "I should not speak to you that way."
"You don't mean that. You are just afraid I will tell my father."
"No, that is not true. You are a lady and I should not talk to you about things that might frighten you."
She let out a sort of growl. "No! No, that is not it. I am not afraid. I know what happens between men and women, but you shouldn't speak that way. It is not dignified and it is not proper."
"You'll be my wife soon. It will be proper then. What is the difference of a few days?"
She rolled her eyes. He was not going to listen to her. For some sick reason he enjoyed talking to her about such things and making her angry. She decided to ignore it and not let it upset her.
"I am tired, and you should not be in my room. You need to leave."
She stood, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down next to him. She tensed up as he looked in her eyes. Should she try to run away? Should she scream? He reached out, grasped her head, and kissed her. She tried to push him away, but his hand held her head firmly in place as he forced his tongue into her mouth. The initial shock from the cold of his lips raced down her back, but after a moment, her body heat began to overtake his chill and he did not feel so cold anymore. She relaxed and kissed him back, but only to get him to loosen his grip.
She put a hand on his chest and was able to pull her lips from his. "You should not have done that," she said.
"No matter what you say, no matter what you have done in the past, I know you have not ever fully been with a man. I know you are apprehensive about being with me. I just thought that if I gave you a little inkling of what to expect, you would not hate me so much."
"I don't hate you, Sebastian," she said, feeling guilty about hating him when he was being so nice to her at the moment. "I just don't like some of the things you do."
"Lying does not suit you," he said. She blushed. "It is all right if you hate me; some days I am not so thrilled about marrying you either."
"Ha!" she said. "You lie! You know you want to marry me more than anything."
"Yes, but then I spend a few moments with you and I begin to doubt if you are worth the trouble." He leaned back on the bed with his hands under his head.
"Well, that is one thing we can agree on," she said, lying on her side next to him propped up on one arm. "We both doubt if we are doing the right thing."
"But you are going through with it, right?"
"Yes," she said, rolling onto her back and putting an arm over her face.
Sebastian leaned up and put an arm around her waist. "Victoria." She lifted her arm and looked up at him. "Don't you think it would be easier if we at least pretended we cared for one another?"
"I am sure, and believe me, I wish I could. Anything that would make me feel more sure about this union I would gladly do."
"Then kiss me," he said in a soft, low, seductive voice.
"What? Why? What would that do?" she asked, sitting up a little.
"We are engaged. People who are engaged usually have affection for one another. People who have affection usually show it physically."
"That is not entirely true. People in arranged marriages do not usually have any feelings for each other at all. I have always considered our marriage arranged since I had no choice in the matter."
"Must you be so litigious?" he asked. "Do you want to be happy or not? I promise, you will feel better if you give me a kiss willingly instead of me having to force you."
She sighed, laid back down on the bed and tried to think of just one nice thing about Sebastian that would make her want to kiss him. He leaned in, but she held up a hand to stop him.
"Just one moment, I need to prepare myself." After a minute, she still had not thought of anything, so she finally decided she would think about how good looking he was. She thought about his eyes, his muscular chest, and his wry smile.
She opened her eyes and saw him looking down at her. She met his gaze and reached up to put a hand behind his head. As his lips met hers, she decided it was not wholly unpleasant. She ran her fingers through his hair and he put a hand behind her back to lift her closer to his chest.
He sl
ipped his tongue into her mouth, and she welcomed it. As they kissed, she began to let down her guard and felt safer with him. She allowed his hands to run over her hips and even brush past her breasts as they found their way back to her neck.
After a few minutes, she began to worry he was becoming too comfortable with her. "Sebastian, don't you think this has been enough?" she asked.
"Oh, no, not yet. I don't think you fully trust me. You still feel tense. Just relax." He took off his shirt and she whimpered a little when she saw his perfectly chiseled chest and stomach. She ran her fingers over his pale skin and could feel the sinews of each rippled muscle. He began to kiss her neck and chest. She held him tightly to her and wrapped one leg around him, urging him onward. His hand followed the curve of her back and around her thigh. He slipped his hand under her nightgown and between her legs.
"Sebastian. I don't think we should. We need to wait until the wedding," she begged, pushing his hand away.
"Just relax," he said. "I'm not going to violate you. I promise. I just want to pleasure you." He gently ran his fingers around the lips of her opening and teased the little bud above her opening. As he felt her moisten, he began to dip his fingers inside of her. Faster and with slightly more force, he ran the palm of his hand over her bud and pushed his fingers in and out of her.
She panted and moaned to the rhythm of his touch. She wanted to cry out, but the only word she could think of was "Ethan." It wasn't the warmth of Ethan's touch she was feeling, though. She suddenly felt so disgusted with herself she had to push him away.
"Stop!" she finally yelled. He was so shocked that she easily moved him aside and jumped out of bed. She felt dirty and needed to get away from him. "I'm sorry," she said as she ran over the tub and sat on her knees next to it. She used the still warm water to wash her hands and neck. "I am sorry. I just had to stop."
He scoffed and got up. He walked over to the tub and sat on the edge of it. He reached down, rinsed off his hand in the water, and dried it on his pants. "It's all right," he mumbled.
The Vampire's Daughter Page 16