The More You Do The Better You Feel

by David Parker

  Paradoxically, there are some procrastinators who perform well in the workplace, but stare in bewilderment at what they see as unmanageable messes at home. Instead of taking action upon their sea of domestic untidiness, they feel sad at the thought of “losing an entire weekend to housecleaning” when taking that action might otherwise lift their spirits. Still, many procrastinators who have reached this point have already lost the ability to do routine housekeeping, often to such a degree that they would no longer associate the word “routine” with the word “housekeeping.” In short, a habitual procrastinator not only loses confidence in his decision-making ability, but also feels overwhelmed by life.

  Knowing only the pressure of the tasks that lay ahead of him, the procrastinator may resort to “floating,” or the taking of lengthy rest breaks, which are actually “mini-crashes” or flights from life’s responsibilities by engaging in distractions like aimless television viewing, surfing the Internet, daydreaming, and oversleeping.

  Procrastinators need to learn how to calm themselves down by engaging in sensible self-talk, and by breaking their tasks down into manageable components, such as by using The J.O.T. Method™, which provides procrastinators with a list of the tasks they’ve completed, and those that they haven’t yet accomplished. Having a workable mechanism like The J.O.T. Method™ not only helps us accomplish our tasks, but it also provides us with reassurance that the work we’ve done “counts,” and that the tasks we weren’t able to get to will not disappear, because they exist on paper to be completed another day. By using The J.O.T. Method™, we train ourselves to think incrementally by writing our tasks down so we can see what we’ve done, and what we haven’t gotten around to yet.

  Writing our tasks down also provides us with something that we never had in the past, and which is crucially important to fighting procrastination: positive feedback. When we were procrastinating, our minds were constantly fixed upon the tasks that awaited our attention, and which we were avoiding; so, even when we accomplished a task, we never saw that as progress. We couldn’t bask in the joy that can come from a job well done because our attention was consumed by our desire to escape all the rest of our undone tasks.

  As practicing procrastinators, we often experienced mixed feelings after successfully accomplishing a task, because after having convinced ourselves that we were incapable of dealing with it, to then accomplish it by taking appropriate action might mean that we had the ability all along. We then feel dismayed at ourselves, because essentially, we’ve burst our own bubble. This conflict not only generates negative feelings within ourselves, but those negative feelings can also be directed outside ourselves as well; they most commonly take the form of resentments against the person or institution that forced us to take action. Indeed, even if that action were in our own best interest, it often only strengthens our resolve to fight against the forces that seem bent upon keeping us down.

  However, if we put our tasks, our thoughts, our situations, and our dilemmas down on paper, we can examine and re-examine them, along with the actions that we took, which will show us how we went about solving the problems that once confounded us. Then, instead of feeling as if we’ve somehow betrayed our conscious resolve by taking action, positive feedback replaces our old negative self-talk, which allows us to take delight in our newfound abilities.

  If we allow ourselves to enjoy the positive process of changing from habitual procrastination, and into more active lives, our outlook upon our tasks may change as well. Here’s a list of some of the different types of positive changes that you may experience as you start to recover from procrastination:

  Personal Satisfaction: Our reasons for taking action change. Instead of acting as a last resort in order to avoid a negative consequence, such as paying your electric bill to prevent your electricity from being shut off, you promptly pay your bills in order to maintain the great feeling that comes from staying on top of things.

  Less Frustration: In the past, we easily became frustrated at tasks that we predicted would be difficult to accomplish, time consuming, or simply didn’t appeal to us. In time, we came to understand that even the tasks we initially predicted would pose no problems, often took more time than we had estimated. Now, instead of allowing ourselves to become flustered, we work at developing our own level of patience, we learn to make allowances for things that don’t happen to go our way, and we allocate extra time to new projects, in case they take more time than we anticipated. In short, we find that the more we increase our level of patience, the more we feel capable of handling.

  Finally, We Feel Like Dealing With It: Rather than waiting for the right time to come along, when we’ll feel like dealing with a task, we realize that we don’t usually feel like dealing with something until after we’ve begun dealing with it. It can take time to internalize this concept, but after you get it, it becomes undeniably clear—that no matter how unappealing a task may seem, once you begin working on that task, it’s then, and only then, when you feel like getting it finished and out of the way.

  We Feel Secure and Confident: Instead of clinging to procrastination as a security blanket that helps us avoid the things we’re afraid of dealing with, we see procrastination as an “insecurity blanket,” which causes us to feel less emotionally secure, and makes us doubt our capabilities. In time, instead of purposely avoiding our tasks, we frown upon this negative reaction and look forward to seeing how well we can deal with something that formerly brought us to a complete stop or severely challenged us.

  We Now Have a Roadmap: Distractions no longer have the immense powers that they once had to keep us from our tasks. This is because our tasks no longer pose the threat to our peace of mind and self esteem that they once did. Instead, we now know how to effectively deal with our tasks, because as we gain experience in dealing with them and crossing them off of our J.O.T. lists, we see our results and feel stronger than we used to. In addition, if something unexpectedly comes up, our J.O.T. list serves as a roadmap that we can always refer back to. This is very different from how we behaved in the past, when we tried to come back from a distraction and hadn’t a clue on how to proceed.

  Contentment: We start seeing “do”-ing as an opportunity to experience feelings of contentment. We look forward to setting a period of time aside to deal with our tasks because we like the changes that come from accomplishing things. We see these changes in the neatness of our living spaces, which are now clean and organized. We find things with far less effort, and on those occasions when we see that we’re perhaps not as organized as we wish we were, we do something about it by thinking up a solution, and taking action. For example, this could mean creating a file folder so you know where important papers are, buying a bookshelf unit in order to have the space to decorate your home in a way that pleases you, or finding other solutions that make your living space work for you.

  Capability: We discover that we’re far more capable than we had ever imagined ourselves to be. Being capable in this way does not necessarily mean that we go around cleaning in a manic or frantic way, but that we react to our tasks with less hesitation by welcoming the completion of the task within our own minds. We allow ourselves time off to relax, and enjoy the sense of control that we finally have over our personal time.

  Looking back on how far we’ve come, we see many differences between how we used to live and the lives we now lead. As procrastinators, we gave priority to false options without considering the consequences. Today, we look at work as its own reward, with each task as an opportunity to better our lives.

  In the past, I lived an irresponsible life and felt terrible for it. Today, I’m surprised that my typical response to feeling overwhelmed by depression and anxiety back then was to ask myself, “Why me?” or “Why is this happening to me?” I’ve changed from a person who was constantly trying to evade both my responsibilities and the consequences of my inaction, into someone who generally doesn’t need to concern himself with the consequences of not having taken
care of a task, because he’s already dealt with it.

  Earlier, in Chapter Four, we discussed “The 25 Aspects of Procrastination,” where the traits of habitual procrastinators were detailed. Now, I’d like to present you with “25 Suggestions to Help Make Your Life Procrastination-Free” to take with you, as you move forward in life as a non-procrastinator:

  25 Suggestions to Help Make Your Life Procrastination-Free

  1. Always keep the promises that you make with yourself.

  2. Patience is the enemy of procrastination. Work at developing patience within yourself.

  3. Plan your work—and work your plan.

  4. Gambling with our responsibilities is always a false-option.

  5. Avoid the temptation of diversions that are false options and time wasters.

  6. When dealing with tasks, avoid creating new work for yourself by always doing a complete action.

  7. There are times when any action is better than inaction. Should procrastination ever immobilize you, the best course of action to take, is to take action.

  8. Remember: What gets measured, gets done.

  9. You’re always guaranteed to be right when you have an excuse.

  10. Perfect doesn’t exist. For a recovering procrastinator, good enough is great!

  11. Yard-by-yard is hard, but inch-by-inch, and it’s a cinch!

  12. Feelings aren’t facts. While feelings can be terribly uncomfortable and may seem real, they mostly represent your past negative experiences with tasks. The solution is to forge a new track record of personal success with your tasks.

  13. Housecleaning is a mood changer.

  14. Disorganized thinking creates disorganized actions.

  15. Incorporate exercise into your life, because nothing can get you moving—like movement.

  16. Over-analysis leads to paralysis.

  17. By making something a priority, it becomes a priority.

  18. Forward movement fights depression.

  19. Don’t analyze –utilize.

  20. Be gentle with yourself.

  21. If a task has you down because it’s particularly complicated, boring, or frustrating, work at converting it into an exciting challenge by using one of the advanced techniques described earlier in Chapter Thirteen.

  22. Work at developing patience from within by repeating the word “patience” to yourself, like it were a mantra. Or, develop your own mantra.

  23. If you must stop working on a task before it’s been completed, then place the remaining parts of that task on tomorrow’s J.O.T. list: that way, you’ll already have a plan for what to “do” tomorrow.

  24. Today’s sacrifice equals tomorrow’s success.

  25. Remember: You can’t think your way into good action, but you can act your way into good thinking.

  In closing, this isn’t the end, because for you, it’s only the beginning—the start of a whole new you! Because of this, I’d like to end with a few thoughts that made their first appearance in the closing of this book’s Introduction:

  All that changing from a procrastinator, and into a “do”-er takes, is the willingness on your part to challenge your beliefs. As you gradually incorporate changes into your life, new feelings of self-esteem and personal pride will replace old feelings of depression and gloom which came about as a result of not taking care of your needs. Even if you’ve grown concerned that you may have lost the ability to act on your own behalf, I can assure you that you can regain a great deal more control over your life than you might otherwise believe. This has been my own experience.

  It is my sincere and heartfelt hope that this book helps you to start undertaking the tasks you’ve been putting off. In the end, not only will you become a “do”-er, you’ll also discover that taking care of yourself generates good feelings that you’ll come to relish.

  Remember Always:

  The More You Do The Better You Feel

  Index

  academic competition, 215–16

  action, into. See advanced techniques for overcoming procrastination; avoidance; floating away from reality; Golden Rules of overcoming habitual procrastination; The J.O.T. Method™ (“just one task” at a time technique); setbacks, dealing with; significant other’s relationship with procrastinator; student procrastinators; techniques for overcoming procrastination; willingness to change development

  activity/activities

  perception of, 47–50

  small amounts of work vs. tremendous, 64–65

  See also physical activities

  advanced techniques for overcoming procrastination

  “beginning and end” of project thinking and, 194

  combining techniques using The J.O.T. Method™ as, 178–82

  compromising as good decision-making and, 195

  counting technique using The J.O.T. Method™ and, 183–86

  depression/procrastination connection recognition and, 175–76

  “do”-ers and, 177

  “do”-ing as best cure for worst tasks and, 195

  filing cabinet organization as antidepressant and, 191–92

  “first things first” attitude and, 193

  the force of positive habits and, 176

  giving up distractions and, 193

  improvements on The J.O.T. Method™ and, 177–86

  larger projects compartmentalization strategies and, 186–90

  light housecleaning as starter-task and, 190–91

  making sacrifices and, 193

  “patience” as mantra and, 192

  physical activities and, 190–91

  prioritizing tasks and, 194

  rewards as positive reinforcement and, 195, 221

  See also Golden Rules of overcoming habitual procrastination; techniques for overcoming procrastination

  alcohol and substance abuse, 162–63

  all-or-nothing thinking, 12, 68–69

  alternating between tasks difficulties, 60

  anxiety choosing between high priority tasks, 3, 57–58

  See also panic attacks

  avoidance

  comfortable being uncomfortable and, 93–94

  distorted outlook and, 94–95

  helpless and hopeless feelings and, 3, 94, 96

  over-analysis leads to paralysis and, 3, 91–92

  self-awareness of, 92

  willingness to change development, and overcoming, 95

  See also techniques for overcoming procrastination

  “beginning and end” of project thinking, 194

  behaviors, transformation of negative, 25

  beliefs of procrastinators, 3

  bored feelings, 8–10

  capability characteristic, 221

  changing procrastination. See advanced techniques for overcoming procrastination; techniques for overcoming procrastination

  characteristics of human ostrich

  about, 74–75

  all-or-nothing thinking, 68–69

  alternating between tasks with difficulty, 60

  anxiety choosing between high priority tasks, 3, 57–58

  daydreamer, 62

  dislike of complex tasks, 59

  envy of “do”-ers, 65

  excuses for not “do”-ing, 58–59

  fear of non-stop work expectations, 63–64

  frustration, 71–72

  goals as vague or unreasonable, 69

  impatience, 60–61, 71–72

  lack of satisfaction upon completion of task, 72

  negative thinking about tasks and actions, 67–68, 219

  outer procrastination feeds inner procrastinator, 74

  perfectionist, 61–62

  planning and completion of tasks difficulties, 70

  poor self-communication, 65–66

  returning to uncompleted tasks frustration, 71

  “Should I be doing something else?” thinking, 62–63

  time and outcomes distortions, 66–67

  tremendous activity vs. small amounts of work, 64–65


  unresolved and worsening procrastination, 72–74

  waiting for the right time, 56–57

  worrying over tasks, 55–56

  See also human ostrich

  characteristics of recovering procrastinator

  capability, 221

  confident and secure feelings, 86–87, 220

  contentment from “do”-ing, 221

  feeling like dealing with tasks, 220

  less frustration, 220

  roadmap for dealing with tasks and, 172, 220

  satisfaction upon completion of task, 220

  college student procrastinators, 211–13

  See also habitual procrastination; human ostrich; student procrastinators

  comfortable being uncomfortable, 93–94

  compartmentalization strategies for larger projects, 186–90

  completion of tasks

  difficulties in, 70

  inadvertent errors using The J.O.T. Method™ and, 148–50

  returning to uncompleted tasks frustration and, 71

  satisfaction/lack of satisfaction upon, 72, 220

  compromising, as good decision-making, 195

  confident and secure feelings, 86–87, 220

  conflicts in life

  all-or-nothing thinking and, 12

  bored feelings and, 8–10

  depression/procrastination connection and, 23–25

  external forces and, 14–15, 210–11

  free time management and, 12, 22–23

  habitual procrastination and, 12

  home-life procrastination and, 11–15

  housecleaning and, 14–15

  judgments and, 19–21

  kitchen chores and, 13–14

  laziness compared with procrastination and, 15–17

  negative behaviors or thinking transformation and, 25

  OCD/procrastination similarities and, 24–25

  prioritizing tasks and, 19–21