Firecracker

by Angera Allen

  It’s going to be a great day!

  Three hours later we’re sitting in a studio listening to Izzy’s music. I was introduced to Luc Mancini, the owner of Spin It Inc., right when we arrived. Izzy has spoken of him so much I feel like I know him but one thing she didn’t tell me is how good looking he is and about his accent. Jesus, I love accents. And then when his wife Mia came in, I could see why Izzy thinks of them as family. Mia’s so sweet and motherly. I felt right at home with her.

  After meeting with them, we headed up to a studio so Izzy could work on some music. We talked about Alexandria, who is Luc’s daughter, and Maddox, her boyfriend, being on tour with another couple that DJs called X-Ray.

  “Being in the studio, does it make you miss it? Does it bring back memories? I’m sure you went with Brody a lot of the times when he was recording at the label company,” Izzy asks while playing with some switches but not making eye contact.

  Just get it over with and tell her everything. I take a deep breath.

  “Once you left I went everywhere with him. I became the bands so-called manager.”

  Izzy turns her head to face me. “You have always been their manager. If it wasn’t for you, they wouldn’t have gotten half of the gigs they did back in the day. I’ve always told you that,” Izzy exclaims.

  I smile, ignoring her comment and keep going.

  “I know you know all of this but let me get it out.” I pause. “Brody’s a huge manipulator, or really he’s a verbal abuser.”

  Izzy grabs her chest in shock.”No. Way. Not Brody.”

  I laugh. “Will you let me finish?”

  She throws her hand in the air making a ‘carry-on’ gesture.

  “He got in my head making me feel like I needed him. When in actuality he needed me more. I enabled him and did everything for him. I put all my time and effort into him and the band once you left.”

  Izzy crosses her arms, and I can see the tension across her face. She never did like Brody, but I always thought it was because she hated him taking me away from her but in reality, it was because he was an asshole.

  “Ruby, I could see that a long time ago, even before I left he was like that. Why do you think Brody and I always fought. He couldn’t handle that I would always tell you, ‘not’ to do everything he needed you to do. It was all manipulation. I saw how he was controlling you. I couldn’t take it.”

  I nod, understanding now what she saw back then.

  “I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you back then. But, we were married and like I said once you left things started to change. He started being even more possessive, demanding and just an overall asshole. He knew with you gone I was vulnerable. Little by little he tore me down, to the point I depended on him for everything.”

  Izzy stands up to pace the room. “I fuckin’ hate him. I knew when I would come home he would either schedule something or take you away so we couldn’t see each other. The phone calls becoming shorter and shorter. I felt it, but I didn’t want to fight with you.” She stops to look at me holding her chest. “I knew in my heart Rube that no matter what, you would come back to me. You’re too much of a fighter to let someone control you that much. I felt if I gave you space you would finally see that instead of seeing me fight with him.”

  I lean forward placing my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my tousled hair, knowing again she was right.

  I sit back, wiping my face. “You’re right. In my heart, I knew I wasn’t happy, and then when I got pregnant, it changed everything. Having Isabella changed my life, the way I looked at Brody and my relationship. He started getting more nasty, demanding things for the band, everything was about him.”

  “Did he ever put his hands on you?” Izzy demanded.

  I chuckle. “He tried a couple times, but it didn’t go very well. He’s more demanding in the sense of needing me than hurting me. He’s fixated on me. And having me with him all the time. He was even jealous of Bella after she was born. He manipulates me into thinking I can’t live without him and if things go wrong, it’s my fault.” I stand up to move around the room. “It’s fucked up, but I need to be away from him when he finds out about the divorce. He uses sex and passion to manipulate me. I need to get that fire back inside me so I can fight him off and say no.”

  Izzy interrupts. “What you need is to get laid by someone else.”

  We both laugh. I turn to Izzy who is now leaning against the soundboard, and I smile. “You know how much of a freak I am and how sex is a major thing for me. Well, he knew that too and used it against me. Every time I would threaten to leave, he would force me to stay with sex and manipulation.”

  “Ruby, that’s called abuse. So what changed? Why leave him now? What happened?” Izzy questions.

  She won’t think bad of you. Just fucking tell her.

  “When you were in LA on tour, he had me come visit him, saying we needed a weekend away. Of course, he had his gig to play at, and the whole band was there, so we weren’t actually alone. He just didn’t want me in town when you came home. He either tracked my phone or had some kind of device in the house, but he always knew when you and I would talk.”

  I sit down on the edge of the chair, gripping both of my knees to try and calm my nerves.

  “Since Isabella was born, I quit going with him on tour and even stopped going on long weekends. Isabella is the real reason I’m leaving him. I get the love and affection I need from her, and when he isn’t around, I finally started finding myself again. Without the band to buff his moods and bullshit, I started to open my eyes. He would never stay away too long without seeing me. He had to make sure he kept his claws in me. He calls every night and talks shit, but each time he would leave it was different. Since he isn’t here in person to manipulate me, it’s different. It’s just verbal abuse, and I know that now. I think I was truly in love with his music because once I stopped traveling with the band and not being around everyone or the music, I fell out of love with him. I truly saw him for who he was, an abusive asshole.”

  I pause seeing if Izzy wants to say anything but all she does is moves to sit next to me in her chair and when she smiles I continue.

  “Long story short I knew something was going on right when I arrived by the way he was acting. But it was after the show he started acting really weird. He was super aggressive with me, having his hands all over me. Never letting me go more than a few feet away. Asking if I’ve been a good little wife while he’s been away. Wanting to know how horny I was for him and just saying some weird shit. I ignored most of it because he would sometimes get like that when he was away from me for long periods of time, or I threaten to leave him.

  “I was pretty buzzed from drinking during the show, and we had a huge after-party in the two room suite we shared with his best friend and drummer, Sam. I noticed people taking pills, I knew it was ecstasy, and when Brody insisted we do it, I knew he must have already been on it, and that’s why he was being overly touchy. I’ve done it before with him so it wasn’t anything I haven’t done before but I just hadn’t done it since having Bella. I didn’t take it right away but shortly after I gave in and took it. The night went on and…”

  Izzy leans forward placing her hand on my arm encouraging me to go on, but her face is stone cold. “What did he do? It’s okay. Don’t worry about telling me. I got you.”

  I take a deep breath.

  “It all happened so fast I didn’t know what to do, but it all felt so good until reality hit me.”

  I pause.

  Just say it.

  “Brody invited other people into our bed. A groupie and…”

  Izzy’s mouth drops open with shock.

  “He invited Sam into our bed. I didn’t know it was him at first, or at least I tell myself that but…”

  When I say Sam’s name, Izzy bolts up from the chair, sending it flying back. “That motherfucker. Why would he bring Sam into it? He knows Sam is in love with you.”

  She stops pacing the ro
om and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s okay. Just tell me everything. Get it all out.”

  “At first it was just Sam in the room. Brody blindfolded me, telling me to trust him, so I didn’t know who was actually in the room. I was lost in the feeling and rolling balls on ecstasy. Brody guided me on top of Sam. It was when they were both inside me, double penetrating me, that I actually heard Beth come in…”

  I close my eyes trying to hold back my feelings, taking a deep breath.

  “Everyone was so lost in their own euphoric state, that no one really noticed or said anything. She joined in telling Brody she wanted more. Begging to be taken again. Once Sam finished, Brody moved me over, flipping me as Sam slipped out from under me. Brody took me even harder, forcing my face into the mattress. That’s when I slipped my mask up to see it truly was Sam, and it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me. Sam was fucking Beth bent over the bed, but she kept staring at Brody, asking for more and that she needed more from him. I came pretty hard, and as I laid there I felt the euphoric high from the drugs and my climax, I looked over and saw Brody fucking Beth. Sam started playing with me, building my climax back up, and at that point, I said fuck it- flipped over onto my back and let Sam fuck me, it was so good, I called out his name the whole time, letting everyone in the room know, I knew who was fucking me until we passed out. When I woke up, it was just Brody and I in bed.”

  I push my shoulders back proud and take a deep breath. “At first I thought maybe it was a dream, but my body had reality crashing in real fast. I got up out of bed and left him sleeping. I jumped on a plane and came back home, and that’s when I told him it was over.”

  Izzy’s mouth is open, and shock still spread across her face.

  Silence.

  I sit back relieved I said it out loud. “Yep.”

  “Holy. Fuckin’. Shit,” Izzy exclaims.

  I laugh. “Yeah. He, of course, flew home and tried to turn everything around on me, saying that I was the one who talked about getting double penetrated. It was me that wanted Sam. It was me who enjoyed fucking him. Then he went into the I’m sorry bullshit. It was his fault for letting it happen and that it was the first and only time with Beth… Blah Blah Blah.”

  Izzy, still in shock, hasn’t moved.

  “Jesus Christ, Rube.” Izzy swallows and blinks a few times.

  “I knew he wouldn’t leave unless I gave in, so I let him fuck me senseless. Which always made him feel better about himself. I played nice letting him think it was all okay but when he went back on tour, I got all my shit in order and moved out. I told him I moved out and that it was over when I knew he wouldn’t be able to fly home for a few months. So, he flipped out and did the next best thing.”

  “What?” Izzy asks.

  “He verbally lashed out at me thinking I would submit, cower back to him but that only made it easier for me to stay gone. This is the first time he’s been home since all of this went down. He thinks he’ll be able to come home, manipulate me and fuck me into submission.” I pause. “ Which is why I am here. I’m scared he will, and I want to be stronger before I see him again.”

  Izzy moves to sit down. “Are you okay? I mean, are you mentally okay with what happened? Has Sam tried to contact you? Jesus, I can’t believe he shared you.. with Sexy Sam.”

  I nod my head with a smile. “I know. It’s crazy. Yes, Sam left me a few messages, but I haven’t returned any of them.”

  We both sit there in silence. It’s a lot to take in, especially with how possessive Brody has always been over me. Izzy and I have always called Sam, ‘Sexy Sam’ because he is so sweet and gorgeous. It was always our joke until Brody found out and flipped out. It took me months to get my head around why he shared me with Sam, so I know it will take Izzy a minute.

  Izzy starts busting up laughing, throwing herself back into the chair swiveling it around. “Holy. Fucking. Shit! Ruby Rube got DP’d by Sexy Sam!”

  I start laughing along with her tossing my head back against the chair looking up at the ceiling.

  Izzy stops twirling around. “So, tell me... How was Sexy Sam?” she asked wide-eyed.

  This bitch. Of all the things to ask.

  I feel my face turn red and giggle. “He’s got a better body than Brody, that’s for sure. And Jesus he can fuck. I was rollin’ the whole time but damn it was good.”

  We both continue to laugh, and that’s why she’s my sister. No matter what bad things happen, she always brings me to the light. I feel so much lighter already.

  It’s going to be fine. I’m going to be okay.

  Chapter Five

  Leaving the studio, I felt like a different person. Telling Izzy what actually happened was what I needed, it was the best medicine for me. I mean, I know I have a long road ahead of me, but with Izzy by my side, I’m sure I can handle anything. I want, or I should say, I need to do this on my own, but I need to know Izzy is here, ready to catch me if I fall. So far she hasn’t disappointed me.

  We’re stopping by to check on another friend of Izzy’s, Eva. Izzy told me she was on tour with the girls in Europe. She is, or was, Alexandria’s assistant before Alex became a DJ.

  The elevator dings and when the doors open to the floor I hear a squeal.

  “That would be Eva.” Izzy laughs exiting the elevators.

  “IzIz, I’ve missed you so much,” Eva beams.

  The girl’s as small as me but a bit taller. Shit everyone is taller than my tiny ass.

  “Hi Eva, I want you to meet my best friend from back home, Ruby. Ruby, this is our very bubbly, very energetic friend, Eva,” Izzy finishes laughing. Eva is bouncing foot to foot with excitement.

  I smile extending my hand. “H-”

  I’m cut off when she practically jumps on me, giving me a big hug. “Ruby Tuesday! I heard so much about you. I’m so happy to meet you finally.”

  Just hearing her call me by the nickname my mother gave me sends shivers down my back.

  “Don’t call her by that name. Please. We hate it.” Izzy’s voice comes off stern but she’s smiling.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” She releases me, and I smile, laughing. “Hi.”

  Eva extends her arms. “Goddamn you're gorgeous. Look at that little body. We need to work on your outfits but hot damn.”

  Eva keeps checking me out by walking around me. I just stand there smiling.

  This girl is loco.

  Izzy who’s laughing, steps in to save me finally. “Eva, leave her alone, we don’t want to overwhelm her on her first day here. So tell me, how is work going with Alex? Do you need any help?”

  Eva stops in front of us, and her whole face changes from happy to stressed. “Iz, I am dying here.” She drags out each word. “Seriously, I have so many demos, contracts, and tours to set up that I’m fucking going crazy. Like batshit crazy.”

  She looks between the two of us before landing her sight on Izzy again. “When are you setting up your next tour line up?”

  We both are looking at Izzy now.

  “I’m taking a break from touring right now. I’m working on a couple of songs and just staying local. I need to get my shit right before I go out again.”

  Eva takes a step toward her, extending her hand touching Izzy's arms. “Sweetie, I’m sorry about all the drama with Dominic. He seriously has some major issues. I’m just glad he’s back home in Russia for a few months and not bothering you anymore.”

  Shit, I’m such a bad friend. I haven’t even asked her about Dominic.

  Izzy smiles. “Thank you. It was over with Dominic a long time ago. I’m just glad it’s over. I need to be single for a while and work on myself.”

  Eva smiles, reaching out giving her a hug. “Well, I could use all the help I can get. Seriously they need to hire someone to help me. Someone with music experience.”

  That has my attention and I’m about to ask what kind of music experience when Izzy beats me to it.

  Izzy always the mind reader. “What kind of music experie
nce do they need to have? What does the job entail?”

  This bitch. I see what she is doing. Look to my new future, uh-huh, right.

  Eva walks back to her desk sitting down to fumble through the mass of papers.

  “I need someone that has an ear for good music and someone that knows the ins and outs of the club life. How to book’s events, sets for DJs, so more or less have management experience but most important has an ear for good music.” Eva points to the massive stack of CDs and flash drives sitting there.

  “I need to go through all of these and weed out the shitty ones. Anything worth listening to we send up to Luc. I am so tired of listening to shitty music. I need a girls’ night.” She pouts.

  For real? This has to be a joke.

  I look over to Izzy and back to Eva. “Is this a joke?” I ask Izzy.

  She laughs, ignoring me and walking over to stand in front of Eva’s desk. “Well, you’re in luck. I’m playing at Club Zero tonight. You should come out and keep Ruby entertained while I play. Gin is coming too. It will be like old times, minus Alex.”

  I jump when Eva squeals, jumping up from her seat.

  Jesus Christ, she’s loud.

  I clench my heart. She almost gave me a heart attack.

  We say our goodbyes and set a time to meet up later. My mind is going a hundred miles a minute thinking about that job. Could I really do it? Move away from the only place that I’ve ever called home?

  The elevator’s dings bringing me back to reality. When the doors open, three big motherfuckers are standing in the doorway chatting. When they turn to enter the elevator, I inhale.

  Jesus, what the fuck do they feed these guys here in New York.

  They’re all at least six foot, and for me being five foot’ish, that’s one big dude. I see Gus is the last one to enter and Izzy beams when she sees him,while moving closer to me and giving the guys room.

  “Iz, what’s up, legs?” the first guy that entered says, smiling as he moves closer to me. He has a black long sleeve Hurley shirt with jeans and has the burly caveman look going with an overgrown beard and shaggy hair.