by Lexi Bissen
I sit up and lean forward, glaring between Sean and my dad. “First off, you don’t know anything about Gibson, so don’t assume he’s not good for me. He’s actually one of the most amazing guys and I wish you would take a second to step back from what you’ve heard about him and maybe get to know him.” I take a deep breath, getting ready for my next blow up. “And second, what future is this you speak of? The one where I graduate high school with high honors and have to attend some crappy community college, then go to work in a low-end job in this small town? That may be what you see for my future, but I don’t. I have plans I’ve been too afraid to tell you and Mom about because I know you’ll shoot them down.”
Without saying another word, I run upstairs as fast as I can and retrieve the acceptance letter I’ve had hidden for three months in the bottom of my nightstand drawer. When I come back down, everyone is waiting for me to continue.
Holding up the letter, I try to talk while catching my breath. “This is an acceptance letter for a full ride scholarship to the University of Northern Florida.” Mom gasps as she stares at the piece of paper. My dad and brother look just as shocked, and neither of them say a word as I place the letter on the kitchen table. “While all you guys want for me is to stay in this small town and live the same kind of life you’ve lived, Gibson encourages me to go after my dream. So, I’ve decided to go to UNF in the fall and get my English degree.”
Not wanting to hear what any of them have to say, I grab my backpack and keys and make my way out the door. As I’m running down the driveway, my father calls my name, demanding I come back inside, but I don’t listen. Right now, all I’m focused on is getting the hell away from this place.
Starting up the truck, I put it in reverse. As I’m pulling away, Rodger is sitting in his truck by our mailbox. By the smirk on his face, I’d say he did a job well done.
I drive around for what feels like hours. I haven’t looked at the clock, so it may as well could have been. It’s dark out by my spot as I lay in the bed of my truck, staring at the stars. Being out here makes me want to run to Gibson’s and have him hold me all night long. I’ve thought about doing just that, but didn’t want to ruin his time with his friend in town and knew he would insist I come over if I told him about the fight.
Since it’s getting late and I don’t want to sleep outside in my truck tonight, I text Allen and tell him I’m coming over and staying the night. There may have also been a message that he better have the ice cream ready and waiting. Knowing my best friend, he’ll have my favorite.
Pulling into Allen’s driveway, I notice a car, letting me know his mom is home. I try to be quiet since I know she’ll more than likely have to be up at five in the morning for her shift at the hospital. The kitchen light is on when I walk in the front door and I head straight there.
I can never be disappointed when it comes to Allen and the need to cheer me up when I’m down. Not only does he have my favorite ice cream, Rocky Road, but he’s laid out an entire sundae station set up with topping and melted caramel and chocolate. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.
Dropping my stuff off in the corner of the kitchen, I head straight for the carton of ice cream. Bypassing the bowl Allen tries to hand me, I grab a spoon and scoop out a healthy amount of the creamy goodness.
Allen stares wide-eyed at me as I chow down on my guilty pleasure. “Rough night I’m guessing?” he asks.
I nod my head, maintaining focus on not letting the ice cream melt off the spoon. After licking the spoon clean, I set it down and begin to answer all of his unspoken questions.
“Well, I decided to tell my parents about Gibson tonight and mention UNF since you got your acceptance letter also. Figured they’d understand more if you were going with me.” I stare at the carton of ice cream and lick my lips.
Allen sets down the ice cream scoop in his hand and stares at me, his mouth hanging wide open. “I honestly have no words right now. I’m surprised and hurt you didn’t tell me about this, but I’ll get over it. Now, tell me, what did they say?”
I groan and throw my head back, staring at the ceiling. “I didn’t get the chance to because my jerk of a brother burst through the door and started yelling about me and Gibson dating. Suffice it to say, he isn’t happy with the relationship either.” My smidge of sarcasm at the end shows my bitter mood.
“Wait, hold the phone,” Allen says, actually holding his hands up to me. “How did Goldilocks find out about you and Gibby in the first place?”
Crap! I guess I forgot to mention to him about Rodger catching Gibson and I earlier today. “Um, actually I meant to tell you this earlier, but with River coming into town and all of us hanging out, I guess it just slipped my mind.” My stomach drops. Allen and I have always told each other everything and I’d hate for him to think I’m leaving him out now that I’m dating someone. “Rodger sort of caught us making out in school today.”
You know how there are some people in your life you hate to disappoint? At the top of that list for me is Allen, and by his frown, I’d say he’s disappointed in me.
“Today? When did this happen? I was with you all day.”
“It was right after lunch when I went to the bathroom. Gibson pulled me into one of the empty hallways. We weren’t there long, but it was enough time for Rodger to walk by and notice us,” I answer him.
Picking the ice cream scoop back up, Allen carves out an overfull amount and dumps it into his bowl. He snags the chocolate syrup, smothers the top, then shakes some sprinkles on as the last touch. He’s hurt, but he’ll be regretting this when his sugar coma dies down later.
After taking a mouthful, Allen brings his attention back to me. “Why didn’t you tell me? We’ve always told each other everything.”
I walk up and grab the bowl out of his hand, making it easier to wrap my arms around him. “I’m sorry, sweets. I didn’t not tell you on purpose, we just had a lot going on today. I promise you, I’ll tell you everything that’s important right away. You’ll be the first text.”
Allen kisses the top of my head and rests his chin there. “I just don’t want us to start slipping away from each other. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, Itty.”
Squeezing him painfully around the waist, I breathe in Allen’s Irish Spring body wash. Just having him hold me like this makes the blow up that happened at home fade away from my thoughts. I know eventually I’ll have to go back home and face the music, but for now, I’ll enjoy the comfort of my best friend.
Who the fuck is pounding on my front door this damn early in the morning? I roll over in my bed and hide my head under my pillow, trying to block out the inconsiderate pricks who don’t understand when someone doesn’t answer the door, it usually means you walk away and continue on with your day. It does not mean you keep on with the banging, thinking maybe someone will magically appear.
The pillow is doing nothing to stop the noise. Tossing it to the end of the bed, I roll over and check the clock on my nightstand. Ten a.m. can’t be right. If it’s that late, Dan is already gone for work and I haven’t heard from Ronnie this morning. She’s one of those strange people who likes to wake up at the ass crack of dawn.
I’m just about to get up and have a little talk with the door banger when River bursts through my door looking like he’s just witnessed a crime.
“Dude, you have to come answer the door. I don’t know how they found out, but they’re here.” I run my hands over my face, rubbing the sleep away. I have no idea what any of that means.
Ripping the covers back from my body, I grab a black T-shirt off my desk chair and follow River out of my room. He has yet to tell me who is at the door, but when we reach the front of the house, I don’t have to ask. The news station vans are a dead giveaway. If you can call what these people report news. I’d like to put the stories they talk about into its own category of made up bullshit.
I stare out at the front lawn, trying to come up with an answer to the unspoken question
of how they knew where I was. My dad has done everything to make sure no one knew about Dan or that I was here. It was also one of Dan’s requirements for allowing me to stay here. He told the judge and my dad he didn’t want any press or paparazzi crowding his town. I’m not sure how I’m going to explain this one.
Looking over at River, he’s doing something on his phone “How the hell did they find out, man?” I ask. He’s not paying attention to me, too focused on whatever he’s doing. I pull out my phone and decide to ask my dad what all this is about.
Gibson: How the hell did the gossip rags find me?
I don’t hear back from him, no surprise there. The last time we talked was when he got home from his Europe tour.
“Dude, you’re all over this Clouds! magazine or some shit. They’re talking about how they got a tip on where you were.”
Since they are the only people who know the answer to who gave them said tip, I head toward the front door, ready to get some answers.
River is right on my tail, calling my name and trying to get me to stop, but I don’t want to analyze this. He isn’t a confrontational person, but I am. Getting down to the bottom of it is the easiest way to get my answer.
The moment the front door opens, the vultures swarm, coming as close as they possibly can. I shield my eyes from the flashes blinding me from every direction. There are men and women holding microphones to their mouths, spitting out question after question. It’s hard to keep up, but all of them are asking about the same thing: Ronnie.
My body goes cold. Not one of them asks about the arrest or anything that happened over the summer.
“Is she pregnant? Is that why you moved here?”
“Are you bringing her back to L.A. with you? We heard she’s an aspiring actress. Are you going to use your connections to get her into the film industry?”
“Gibson, we heard Ronnie’s family is struggling financially. Is she a charity case?”
The more questions they ask, the more I want to slam my fists into something. I don’t know where they heard any of this. The only way for the paparazzi to know is if…no, she wouldn’t. I shouldn’t have even thought of it. Ronnie would never tell them these lies and sell me out.
I hold my hand up to the nosey assholes in front of me. They stop with the questions, waiting to hear what I have to say.
“As exciting as it is to have you all here, how exactly did you find out where I was, or about Ronnie?”
They all look at each other, probably deciding which one will have the balls to give up their source. Paparazzi like to keep their sources close to them so they can use those people for future stories.
A guy I recognize from one of those gossip TV shows steps forward, a large video camera on his shoulder. “I don’t know about these guys, but we got an email from a Ronnie Hamilton last night. Said she had a tip and we went with it.”
Everyone watches me, waiting for me to speak. All I want to do is hit something and get these people the fuck away from me—and find Ronnie.
She played me and I never saw it coming. I thought she was different, that she wouldn’t have used me for her own benefit, and this is what I get for trusting her. Thinking about it now, why would she be different? Everyone has a price and I’m sure the tip Ronnie gave them wasn’t free.
Before I can think about my next move, I’m running down the driveway, heading toward the direction of Allen’s house. He texted me last night saying Ronnie was over at his place since she was upset from talking with her parents. I’m sure that was just another lie. Maybe she and her parents get along great and she made up that bullshit too.
The bottoms of my feet ache from running over here barefoot. I never thought about grabbing any shoes, only focused on getting some answers. The door swings open, a smiling Allen with bed head standing there shirtless.
“You know, you could have called one of us to come pick you up. We would have been more than happy to. You didn’t have to run here.” He looks down at my bare feet. “Did you just miss her so much you jumped out of bed and came straight here?” I’m not in the mood for his sarcasm. Knowing how close these two are, he probably knew all about Ronnie’s lies.
“Tell me where she is,” I demand, my tone harsh. Allen’s smile drops from his face as he points in the direction of the kitchen.
When I reach her, I stop dead in my tracks. Ronnie in the morning is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen: not a stitch of makeup, blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head, and baggy, casual clothes. I have to remind myself of why I’m here and not let the sight of Ronnie distract me. I need to say what I came here to say and then get the hell away.
Ronnie looks up from whatever she was doing on her phone and smiles at me. Her face brightens at the sight of me being here. I’m surprised she would be happy to see me after what she did last night. She has to know the vultures came running right after she sold me out.
After taking in my coiled body and pinched eyebrows, her face drops. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look upset.” Ronnie starts to walk toward me, but I put my hand out to stop her. “Gibson?”
“You know, you really had me fooled into thinking you were different. You’re just another fame seeking whore like the rest of them.” Ronnie flinches, as if my words had slapped her in the face. Well, the truth hurts.
“Gibson, I don’t—”
“Oh, save it, Ronnie,” I interrupt. “I talked to those sweet reporters you messaged yesterday.” She opens her mouth to speak again, but I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. “Save it, all right. They sold you out, which shouldn’t be so surprising since it’s what they do for a living.”
Stepping up close to her, I try not to let my love for her override the hurt she’s caused, but it’s hard. All the moments we’ve had the last two months come flooding back to me: our days at the beach, spending time at my uncle’s doing homework or lounging around, and our trip to the fair ending with the best night of my life. All of it was lies and a way for her to get close to me.
“You wanted your five minutes of fame,” I whisper close to her ear, “well, you got it. Hope it was worth it to you, Ronnie…I hope it was worth it.” With that, I turn around and leave. I don’t look at Allen as I walk out and I don’t look back to the girl I left standing there in the kitchen. All I need to do now is get as far away from her and this place as possible. Judge be damned, I’m leaving this ass of a town.
I’ve never liked flying. The germs, for one, are enough to make me never fly if I didn’t have to. The take-off always makes me sick and I usually end up with either a kid playing kickball with the back of my chair or a fat guy beside me who doesn’t understand the importance of hygiene and personal space.
Luckily, I’m traveling with River this time, and he’s sleeping against the window, so the arm rest is fair game. Plus, we caught a late flight, so everyone around us is sleeping, which means no annoying kids jostling my seat. None of this makes me feel any better, though. I still feel used and played by the girl I fell hard for.
After making the long trip back to Dan’s house, I ignored all the people still on the lawn and began packing up all my belongings. I hated every minute of it and felt like leaving was the wrong answer, but what would staying bring me? Anger and awkwardness around Ronnie. Even thinking about her makes me feel stupid. I truly did think she wasn’t like the girls I used to be with, but her talking to those reporters told me everything I needed to know.
Dan wasn’t happy about me leaving, but he couldn’t do anything about it since he was stuck at work. He isn’t sure what this means for me in regards to the judge’s orders. I figure I’ll find out later and not worry about it right now. I just had to get away.
We’ve been flying for over six hours and I’m ready to get the fuck off this plane. I need to stretch my legs and take a piss.
The seatbelt light comes on and the flight attendant announces we’ll be landing shortly. Thank God.
River starts to wake next to me. His hair is
sticking up on one side from how he was laying against the window and his eyes are bloodshot. At least someone was able to get some sleep. I tried, but I’ve been restless since the taxi dropped us off at the airport.
“Hey, man, we’re about to land soon,” I tell him.
He checks his phone and when it lights up, I see it’s ten at night. Damn, this has been the longest day.
“Sorry I’ve been out this whole time. Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” He tries to hold in his yawn at the end, but it comes out anyway.
I wave my hand at his apology. “Dude, you’ve now flown twelve hours in the last two days because of me. I should be the one apologizing.”
Letting out a laugh, River nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. How about you pay for the cab back to my place and we’ll call it even?”
I agree, even though I already planned on paying the cab fare.
We sit in silence while the plane begins to descend. Add that to the list of reasons I don’t like flying—it’s just as bad as the take off.
“So, what’re you going to do about the whole Ronnie thing?” River asks after a few minutes.
His question distracts me from the jerky movements of the plane. “Absolutely nothing. What’s done is done and now I’m finished with that chapter of my life. All I have to do now is figure out a way to move back here without having to put in any jail time. Maybe I can convince him to let me stay here, but live with you and your mom.” I turn to him, “If that’s okay with you guys.”
“You don’t even have to ask. Mom loves you like a son and you know she’s always wanted you to live with us over your bitch of a mother.” A hint of a smile appears at the thought of seeing Momma Mary.
The plane jerks as it touches down on the ground, ending any response I had coming. I grip the armrest and wait for us to come to a complete stop. Once we’re not moving anymore and the seatbelt light goes back off, I let out the breath I’d been holding.