The Golden Judge
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all-Western. It likewise rejected a Swissproposal that Chiang Kai Shek and Chou En-Lai should toss again, thistime for Formosa itself.
In passing, it is of interest to note that only once did Soviet Russiaagree to toss. It was in the matter of her old dispute with Persia overcaviar fishing rights in the Caspian Sea. Persia won but, to theconsternation of the world, Russia refused to abide by the outcome. Itwas the first and only time that the decision of the Golden Judge wasnot obeyed, and it had startling repercussions.
All over the world, fellow-travelers abandoned the Soviet cause. Theyhad been able to find some excuses, however tortuous, for Russianpurges, forced confessions, concentration camps and aggressions, butthey turned away, shocked and saddened, from a nation that openlywelshed on a bet.
There were strong reactions within Russia itself,although the convulsions were largely screened from Western eyes.However, an unprecedented number of Russians fled across the IronCurtain, seeking asylum in the West. They said gloomily they could nolonger support a regime that reneged on its fair gambling losses, andprotested fiercely this was not the true soul of Russia.
In a gallant effort to recoup face for Russian sportsmanship, many ofthese refugees grimly began playing almost non-stop games of "Russianroulette," which gives the player a five-to-one chance of living. Someextreme chauvinists proudly reduced the odds to three-to-one byinserting two bullets, and a former Red Army major named Tolbunin evenused three. His _tour de force_ was widely admired, although notrepeated, and Tolbunin himself was given a magnificent funeral.
Yet, except for the Caspian caviar toss, the Golden Judge was obeyed asunquestioningly as the Voice from Sinai, and perhaps more so. And if itcould be used only in what some called "minor" disputes, it wassurprising to see, once these were settled, how really few "major" onesremained. It is impossible here, of course, to list more than a few ofGeneral O'Reilly's tosses, but he flew to nearly every spot on earth, abeloved world figure.
He flew to Ethiopia--and caught malaria there--to settle an old quarrelbetween that country and the Sudan over a one-square-mile Sudaneseenclave named Gambela, well inside Ethiopia. A relic of the times whenBritain controlled the Sudan, Gambela had long been a thorn in the sideof the Conquering Lion of Judah. Although the Negus lost, he acceptedthe verdict as uncomplainingly as earlier disputants, some threethousand years before, had once accepted the awards of his putativeancestor, King Solomon.
General O'Reilly ended a tiny but poisonous quarrel of many years'standing as to whether British Honduras should become a part of theRepublic of Honduras. Britain won.
* * * * *
In an epic tour in 1973 that left the world gasping with admiration,General O'Reilly spread lasting balm on many sores in the Middle East.The Golden Judge settled--in favor of Pakistan--her friction withAfghanistan over the long-disputed Pathan territory. Saudi Arabia wonfrom Britain two small and completely worthless oases on the undefinedborder between Saudi Arabia and Trucial Oman. These oases had, over theyears, produced many hot and vain notes, and desultory shooting, but theLord of Saudi Arabia was subsequently much disappointed that they neverproduced oil. He was further dismayed when the Golden Judge awarded toIraq a "neutral zone" between the two countries, on which they had neverbeen able to agree, and this zone did, in fact, produce tremendousamounts of oil. However, he complained only to Allah.
Syria and Turkey resorted to the toss to decide about the Sanjak ofAlexandretta (Iskanderun) which Turkey had been given by France back inthe Thirties, when France ran Syria. Turkey won. Damascus sighed butsmiled, and reopened diplomatic relations with Ankara that had beensevered for more than twenty years.
But on a golden January day in 1975, in Malaga, Spain, GeneralO'Reilly's aide-de-camp noticed that his chief seemed strangelypreoccupied. The occasion was a toss between Sweden and Finland as tothe possession of four large rocks lying in the sea at the head of theGulf of Bothnia, just off the Finno-Swedish frontier. These rocks, justsouth of the Arctic circle, contained no population other than seagulls, but had been warmly claimed by both nations for years. And sincethe weather in Scandinavia in January is miserable, the Finns and Swedeshad sagely decided to hold the toss in Malaga, which was as far south asthey could go and still be in Europe.
In public, General O'Reilly was himself--charming, dependable, cheerful.He carried out the toss as gracefully as he had all the others, and hemade a winning speech at the banquet given by the Finns that night tocelebrate their acquisition of the four sub-Arctic rocks.
But the A.D.C. was not deluded and later, on the flight back toWashington, he observed that General O'Reilly was unusually abstractedand pensive, lost in thought. But since a major does not ask alieutenant general about such matters, he kept silent.
The fact was that the general had now reached sixty-five, and in theAmerican Army, sixty-five is retirement age. As the ocean fled awayunder the racing plane, he was remembering a scene the week before inthe office of the Army Chief of Staff.
"It's up to you, Terry," the Chief of Staff had said. "You knowperfectly well that the President is willing, even eager, to keep you onpast the retirement age. You're a big man in the world now. You can stayon the active list as long as you want. If necessary, he'll ask aspecial law, and there won't be one vote against it."
Then the general remembered his wife: "You've done enough, darling. It'stime we had a real permanent home for once in our lives. That garden forme, those Aberdeen Angus for you--remember? You've traveled too much;you've never really gotten over that malaria. Darling, you need a rest.You've earned it."
The general gazed out the plane window, trying to make up his mind. Thensuddenly he chuckled. The A.D.C. saw him pull a leather case out ofhis pocket and watched, puzzled, as a golden coin spun briefly in theair.
The general caught it on the back of his left hand, covering it withhis right. Then he removed the right, looked at it.
He chuckled again.
* * * * *
When General O'Reilly retired the following week, the President askedCongress for a fourth star for him and, in a special message, listed inglowing terms the services he had rendered to America and the world. Thebill passed without a murmur, and Terence Patrick O'Reilly became atlast a full general.
Messages poured in from nearly every country in the world, from dozensof presidents and premiers, and the handful of remaining kings. Alongwith them came hundreds of gifts. They included a carved elephant tuskfrom Nepal, a Royal Copenhagen dinner service for twenty-four from theKingdom of Denmark, a one-rupee note from a ten-year-old girl in Bombayand--a gesture that excited much speculation--a case of caviar from theKremlin.
The Department of Defense announced that General O'Reilly had become themost decorated soldier ever to wear American uniform. In every toss,each of the rival sides had awarded him some kind of decoration. When hewore full-dress uniform, the ribbons solidly covered both sides of histunic, and he was nearly strangled with various stars and orders thatdangled from ribbons around his neck.
"He retired just in time," his wife told her daughter-in-law one day attea. "There's not another square inch left for another ribbon."
General O'Reilly presented the Golden Judge to the United Nations, andthe King of Saudi Arabia proved his sportsmanship by having atheft-proof case made for it of solid crystal, so that it could be onpublic display. It was soon as visited and cherished as the Magna Cartaand the Liberty Bell. A night and day guard stood watch over it.
Yet it was far from a useless relic. Often the crystal case was empty,and this meant it was seeing service somewhere in the world, in thehands of a Swedish general who had finally been chosen by the UnitedNations to succeed Terence O'Reilly.
In his final press interview, General O'Reilly unburdened himself ofsome thoughts which--refined--have passed into internationaljurisprudence under the name of O'Reilly's Law.
"For thousands of years," the general said thoughtfully, "mankind hasbeen making all kinds of commandments an
d laws and prohibitions andcontracts and treaties--and broken them all when the mood suited them.Perhaps it's a sad thing to say, but so far nothing's ever been inventedthat men will really live up to more than the terms of a bet. With very,very few exceptions, a man--or a nation--will respect a bet when hewon't respect any other damned thing on earth!"
THE END