by E. L. Todd
Finn flipped through his paperwork and organized his next dictation.
“What are you doing?”
“I have to do a bunch of paperwork for every patient I see. It’s for billing purposes.”
“So you work for twelve hours and then have to keep working?”
“I have to dot the I’s and cross the T’s to get paid.” He was in his sweatpants, and like always, he was shirtless. He made a few notes before he leaned back in the chair and examined me. “Colt, I can’t hide it anymore.”
“Hide what?” I asked blankly.
“I need to tell Mom and Dad I’m here. Once I do that, we’re going to have to see them. And when we see them, you’re coming clean.”
I’d never dreaded doing something so much in my entire life. When I told Finn the truth, I wasn’t sure how the military captain inside him was going to respond, but even then, I wasn’t nearly as afraid of telling the truth. The idea of disappointing my parents made me sick to my stomach. “I’m going to tell them I’m divorced, gay, and unemployed in the same sitting?” I asked incredulously. “You want me to give them both a heart attack?”
“We can skip the job part. That’s not important.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, turning anxious when I’d been so relaxed just minutes ago.
“Suck it up,” Finn said coldly. “You can hold your head high and be brave, or you can bow your head and act like a pussy. Which one do you want to be? Before you choose, keep in mind I’m not letting you pick the second one.”
“Then you don’t leave me much choice…”
“Exactly. I’ll call Mom and set up a dinner for Friday.”
“This Friday?” I asked with a sigh. “How about—”
“Friday.” Finn gave me that no-bullshit look. “The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you’ll be free. If they disown you, whatever. That means they disown me too. At the end of the day, you always have me and Pepper. If they can’t accept you, then we don’t need them.”
“Do you think they’ll disown me?” I whispered.
Finn shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. But I do know they’re going to be surprised and upset. They aren’t going to brush it off and be supportive a second later. This conversation will be painful. No way around it.”
“Thanks for making me feel better…”
“I’m not trying to make you feel better. I’m trying to prepare you.”
This dinner would be a nightmare. Mom would cry, and Dad would be disappointed. I would have to sit there and be pelted with questions left and right. Finn had just come home from the military, but my news would overshadow it. But that was probably exactly what he wanted. He hated to be the center of attention—especially when it came to my parents. “Well, consider me prepared.”
Pepper sat beside me on the couch with a glass of red wine in her hand. “So, Friday?”
“Friday.” I took a long drink of my wine, sitting there with my ex-wife as I prepared to announce the news to my parents. “Sometimes I think about breaking my own foot just to get out of it.”
“That wouldn’t stop anything. Finn would just pick you up and carry you. Then you would be in even more pain for no reason.”
Sometimes I hated having a buff older brother. He wouldn’t allow me to be cowardly, and if I tried, he would just force me in the direction I didn’t want to go. “Yeah…he’s an asshole.”
She chuckled before she drank her wine. “If that war hero is an asshole, then our society is in big trouble.”
“War hero?” I asked.
“I noticed he had a medal on his uniform. When I asked him about it, he said it was the Bronze Star Medal. I looked it up when I got home, and I guess it’s a pretty prestigious award, given to a soldier that does something heroic in battle.”
I lowered my glass and gave her a blank stare. “He never mentioned that to me. I don’t think he mentioned it to our parents either.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. When I asked him about it, he said he didn’t want to talk about it.”
He never wanted to talk about his decade in the military. “Wait, why were you looking at his uniform?”
She brought the glass to her lips and took a long drink, smearing her lipstick against the rim. “He had it out when I stopped by. So, are you excited to live with him?”
“Well, I already live with him. It probably won’t be much different.”
“Are you going to take an Uber to work every day?”
“Hmm…didn’t think about that.”
“It’s probably a good thing that we won’t be across the hall from each other anymore, but I’m definitely going to miss it.”
“Only because you’ll starve.”
She chuckled. “True.”
“And you’re too cheap to buy your own coffeemaker.”
“Well, you took ours in the divorce,” she countered. “And I’m too stubborn to buy another.”
“You want it?” I asked. “I’m sure Finn will have his own coffeemaker.”
“No, it’s okay. You aren’t going to live there forever, and you’ll need it eventually.”
“So his place is nice? I still haven’t seen it.”
“Oh, it’s gorgeous.” She set the wineglass on the coffee table because only a shallow pool remained in the very bottom. The glass was smothered with her dark red lipstick everywhere. “It’s so quiet and private. So many large trees everywhere. It’s unfortunate that it’s a drive from the city, but it’ll be worth it.”
“Hmm…maybe I’ll hold off on getting another job and milk it as long as I can.”
“It’ll definitely impress your dates.”
I hadn’t seen Aaron in a while, so I suspected he wouldn’t get to see it. “So what’s going on with Jax? Is that over?” I really liked the guy, so it would bum me out if she let him go. Most men were assholes, and it would be a while before Pepper found someone decent again.
“No…we made up.”
“You did?”
“I apologized to him, and we talked it out…so we’re gonna give it a go.”
“Like, you’re in a relationship?”
She shrugged. “We’re exclusive, I guess.”
“That’s great.” I patted her thigh. “I like Jax. He’s sexy, has a nice smile, he’s successful. And the most important reason of all, he’s got it for you bad. That guy can go out and catch tail every night, but he’d obviously rather be with you.”
“I know. He’s great.” She smiled, but it was the forced kind of smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you not like the guy?”
“No, I do like him.” She pulled her knees to her chest, and her eyes shifted to the TV, looking at nothing in particular as she considered the question. “It’s just… Doesn’t it seem too soon for me to have a boyfriend? We’ve been divorced for only eight months. Isn’t that kinda fast?”
“Eight months is a long time, Pepper. And we weren’t even sleeping together toward the end. It’s been more like…a year.”
“I’m just afraid this is happening too fast. And the reason it’s happening so fast is because he’s rushing it. But he basically gave me an ultimatum. We’re either exclusive, or we don’t see each other at all.”
“He said that?”
“Not in those exact words…”
“He’s just eager to make you his. But that doesn’t mean you need to move in together or talk about marriage. He just doesn’t want you to sleep with anyone else. If anything, it’s romantic.”
“Yeah…I guess.”
I wanted Pepper to be happy, and sometimes I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t allow herself to be that way. “Why do I feel like you aren’t telling me something?”
Her eyes shifted back to me. “What makes you think that?”
“Because it seems like a piece of this story is missing. After what I did to you, you could have moved on the very next day, and no one would have judged you for it. I wasted ye
ars of your life, so you’re entitled to be with someone whenever you want.”
“Not wasted,” she whispered. “Don’t say that again.”
“Fine…but you don’t owe me or our marriage anything. So, what’s the real problem? Is it Jax?”
She looked away again. “No. He’s wonderful.”
“Then is there another guy you have in mind?”
She kept her gaze away from mine, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. She was quiet for so long that it seemed like there was something missing. But then she looked back at me and finally answered. “No.”
18
Pepper
Jax lay beside me, naked in my bed with sweat still gleaming on his chest. His bag was on the armchair in the corner, and his outfit for the following day was hanging up in my closet. Now he slept over at my place on a regular basis. Until his sister was officially out of the house, it made more sense to enjoy our privacy in my apartment.
“I want you to come out with me and the boys on Friday night. What do you say?”
I hadn’t met his friends, but he was well acquainted with mine. Just like I didn’t want, we’d jumped into a relationship. He wanted me to meet his friends and come with him to his sister’s wedding. Since he was such a great guy, I shouldn’t focus on the speed of the relationship. As long as he didn’t tell me he loved me or ask me to move in, there was nothing to worry about. “I can’t on Friday night. I’m having dinner with Colton and his parents.”
“And why are you doing that?” he asked with a laugh.
I knew I should tell him Colton was the man I was married to. He was a gay man so there was nothing to feel threatened by, but if we really were in a relationship, it was something Jax should know. I would tell him—just not tonight. “Basically, he’s coming out to his parents. He wants me there for backup. His brother too.”
Jax raised an eyebrow, somehow looking even sexier when he appeared quizzical. “Colton hasn’t told his parents?”
“He’s put it on hold for a very long time.”
“That’s too bad. So he’s had to lie about who he is this entire time?”
I shrugged. “Basically. His parents aren’t conservative or anything, but he thinks they’ll be disappointed. Finn is so masculine and successful, and he’s afraid that’ll just make him look worse.”
“That’s stupid. No way.” He shook his head.
“I know they’ll love him no matter what, but I think when he confesses, they’re going to be upset. Not necessarily disappointed, but overwhelmed. They won’t see it coming, so it’ll be a shock.”
“I don’t know…parents understand their kids pretty well. They’ve probably wondered why their son has never been seen with a woman or had a girlfriend.”
It was wrong to keep my mouth shut, but I did it anyway.
“It’s nice of you to be there for him. I’m sure that’ll be hard.”
“What are best friends for?”
“I like your relationship.” He turned on his side so he could cuddle closer to me. His arm hooked around my waist, and he brought us closer together. “You guys always have each other’s backs, and you’re so close. I have my boys, but I’ve never had a friend that close.”
“Well…sometimes it just happens.”
“How about tomorrow night? As long as I’m buying the rounds, the guys will come out anytime.”
“I can’t tomorrow either. We’re all having game night. Colton considers it the last night of his life he’ll ever be happy.”
Jax couldn’t hide his disappointment.
I didn’t want him to think I was yanking his chain, so I made an offer. “I’m free Saturday night if you want to do it then.”
“Yeah?” he asked, that charming grin coming across his lips. “That should work.”
“And you’re welcome to hang with us tomorrow. We basically just drink and play games until we’re too drunk to play. Stella gets really competitive, so that will turn into a shitshow. And Zach will let her win to make her happy. I’m not sure if Finn will play. He seems too serious to do something so normal.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, that guy is pretty intense. Never smiles. Seems like he’s pissed most of the time.”
He probably was pissed most of the time. “I think it’s been difficult for him to adjust to civilian life. He’s used to being so hard and serious all the time that he doesn’t know how to relax. Every moment in the military was about discipline and life and death. Now that he’s home, he doesn’t know how to unwind.”
“If he doesn’t want to unwind, why did he leave?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“He’s probably seen some pretty gruesome things…”
And lost people he cared about. Saw how evil humans could be. “Yeah…”
“I’d love to participate in your game night. But I have to warn you, I’m pretty competitive.” He grabbed my leg and hooked it over his hip. Jax had gotten retested, and now we were screwing without condoms. It was weird at first because Colton was the only man I’d been that intimate with. But now it was comfortable, so much better than feeling the latex slide in and out of my channel.
“Yeah? Well, I’m not competitive. But I tend to win.”
Stella sighed as she stared at the Monopoly board. We all had houses and hotels, and almost all the property had been purchased. “Guys, this game is soooooo boring. Colton, why do you like it so much?”
“Finn and I used to play it all the time.” He rolled the dice then moved his silver boot around the board. He passed GO and collected two hundred dollars.
“Because you were kids and had nothing else better to do.” Stella downed her beer then tucked her hair behind her ear.
Zach had barely taken his eyes off her. “Don’t drink too much tonight, alright?”
Her eyes turned into two tiny bombs. “Excuse me?”
Tatum shook her head. “You said the wrong thing, man…”
Stella held up her glass. “I’ll drink as much as I want, asshole. That’s what Uber is for.”
“And who’s gonna ride in the Uber with you and help you get inside?” Zach asked. “And put you to bed? Plus, you took off your top last time and stuck your tongue down my throat.”
Stella raised an eyebrow. “Are you complaining?”
“I’m complaining because there was nothing I could do about it,” Zach countered. “I can’t screw a woman when she’s that wasted, unless it’s my girlfriend or something.”
I nudged Jax in the side. “Your turn.”
Jax grabbed the dice. “Sorry, their little debate is distracting.”
“You get used to it,” I said with a sigh.
Jax moved his piece to Park Place.
Finn snapped his fingers. “Pay up. Fifteen hundred bucks.”
Jax rolled his eyes. “Damn.” He counted the cash and handed it over.
Zach kept arguing. “You always do that. Anytime someone tucks you in, you throw yourself at them. Such a tease.”
“I do not,” Stella said in offense.
“Uh, yeah, you do.” Zach turned to me. “Doesn’t she try to make out with you every time she’s drunk?”
“Well, when she’s super drunk,” I said. “Not like when she’s drunk like this.”
“Whoa, hold on.” Jax raised his hand. “Did you ever let her?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. It doesn’t mean anything. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
Stella shrugged. “Alright…maybe I’m a little frisky when I’ve had too much to drink. But who isn’t like that?”
Jax placed his beer in front of her. “You can have mine. How about I get you a scotch?”
Stella rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to make out with you.”
“I was hoping you’d make out with Pepper.” He nudged me in the side. “So how about that scotch?”
“Men are all the same.” It was Stella’s turn, so she rolled the dice. “It doesn’t matter how drunk I am. Th
is game is sooo boring. Let’s play something else.”
“How about you stop drinking? That way I can take you home and finally get some action?” Zach asked. “Every time I try to put the moves on you, you’re too drunk to function. I need a fair chance.”
Just to be spiteful, she grabbed Jax’s beer and took a drink.
Zach sighed.
“I’m down to play something else,” Tatum said. “This game could go on forever.”
“How about Pictionary?” Stella asked.
“Ooh.” Tatum clapped her hands. “I love that game.”
“We’ll play in teams,” Colton said. “But there’s an odd number of us playing.”
“I’ll sit out,” Finn volunteered. “Not my game anyway.” He took a drink from his scotch. He was the only one drinking hard liquor because we all drank beer like normal people.
“Great.” Stella moved into the living room and started setting everything up. “Let’s pick the teams.”
I knew I should partner with Jax, but I’d prefer Colton. We were always unbeatable because we could practically read each other’s minds.
Stella set up the whiteboard along with the colored markers. “And Colton and Pepper can’t be on a team together ever again. You’re officially banned.”
“Yeah,” Tatum said. “It should be a rule that you can’t be teammates with someone you were married to.” She didn’t realize what just came out of her mouth because she moved into the living room and got the cards ready.
Stella paled slightly, like she knew that information shouldn’t have slipped out.
Everyone at the table went quiet.
Colton’s eyes immediately shifted to Jax, waiting for his reaction.
Finn was the only one who kept drinking like everything was normal.
Jax stilled once the information fell on his shoulders. His first instinct was to look at Colton before he turned to me. His gaze was full of accusation as well as confusion, like he hadn’t heard Tatum’s words correctly.
I knew this information was delicate, and this was not how I wanted him to find out.