Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa Claus' Reading List

by A. A. Milne

  "Course this isn't for Christmas," said the little girl. "I didn't bring out my Christmas presents 'ceptin' this," and she showed on her finger a gold ring that Santa Claus had left.

  "And I got a steam engine, only I couldn't bring it over," said Joe, who used to be lame but who was better now. "So I just brought my old Nodding Donkey," he added. "He was in the hospital once, as I was, and Mr. Mugg mended his broken leg."

  At the mention of the name "Mr. Mugg" the Stuffed Elephant began to listen more carefully. If he had dared he would have flapped his big ears, but that was not allowed.

  "I wonder," thought the Elephant, "if he means the same Mr. Mugg of the toy store where I came from? I wish the children would go out of the room a minute until I could speak to the Nodding Donkey and the Lamb on Wheels."

  But the children were having too much fun to leave the room. Mirabell with her Lamb and Joe with his Donkey looked at the presents Santa Claus had brought for Elsie and Archie. Then there came a ring at the door bell, and in came a boy named Sidney, with a Calico Clown, and a girl named Dorothy with a Sawdust Doll. These toys were not new Christmas presents, for Dorothy and Sidney had brought only their old toys, since it was snowing again.

  The Stuffed Elephant was getting excited. He had heard these other toys spoken of by his friends in Mr. Mugg's store, and wanted to talk to them. But while the children were in the room he dared not say a word.

  At last, however, Mrs. Dunn invited the little callers out to the dining room to have some milk and cake, and out they rushed, leaving the toys in the middle of the floor.

  "Ah, at last we are alone!" said the Elephant. "Please tell me, Mr. Nodding Donkey," he said, "were you ever in Mr. Mugg's store?"

  "I came from there," was the answer.

  "So did I!" joyfully exclaimed the Elephant.

  "I don't remember seeing you there," the Nodding Donkey said, swaying his head up and down.

  "I was one of the very newest toys," went on the Elephant. "I suppose you were there last year, or the one before."

  "Yes," said the Donkey, "it was some time ago, and I have had many adventures. Tell me, did you ever have a broken leg?"

  "Mercy, no!" exclaimed the Elephant.

  "Well, I did. And Mr. Mugg mended it for me," went on the Donkey, proudly. "This Sawdust Doll here," he went on, "has also had many adventures. Tell him about them, Sawdust Doll."

  "Oh, it would take too long," replied Dorothy's plaything. "But they are all in a book. And Dorothy's brother Dick has a White Rocking Horse, and his adventures are in a book, too."

  "For that matter I have had a book written about me," said the Donkey.

  "So have I!" declared the Calico Clown, jumping up and down. "It tells about my trousers catching fire."

  "I wonder if I'll ever have a book written about me," sighed the Elephant.

  "Perhaps," answered the Lamb on Wheels. "You are much larger than I, and there is a book about me. But let's have some fun, now that the children are out of the room."

  "All right," agreed the Elephant. "This is like it used to be in Mr. Mugg's store after closing time. What shall we do?"

  "I know what I should like to do," said the Calico Clown, as he looked at the big stuffed toy.

  "What?" asked the Nodding Donkey.

  "I should like to ride on the Elephant's back," went on the Clown. "All my life I have wanted a ride on an elephant's back, and I never yet had the chance."

  "You shall have it now," replied the kind Elephant. "I'll come over and get you. Can you climb up? I'm pretty tall, you see."

  "I'll stand on top of this toy trolley car," said the Clown.

  One of Archie's presents was a toy trolley car, and by jumping up on this the Clown managed to reach the Elephant's back.

  "Now hold on tightly, and you won't fall," said the Elephant. "If I had thought, I could have lifted you up in my trunk, as I did the Rolling Mouse. But I'll lift you down again. Sit tight now."

  So the Clown sat tight, and the Elephant walked around the room with him, giving the gay fellow a fine ride. The Sawdust Doll was just making up her mind that she would be brave enough to get on the Elephant's back, when, all at once, the Nodding Donkey cried:

  "Quick! Quiet every one! The children are coming back!"

  "Oh, let me get off your back!" whispered the Clown to the Elephant. "They must never see me up here. It isn't allowed!"

  But he was too late! Before he could slide off the Stuffed Elephant, Archie, Elsie and the other children came running into the room!

  "Oh! Oh! Oh!" they cried, as they saw the Calico Clown on the back of the Stuffed Elephant.

  In The Barn

  Hearing the shouts of the children as they hurried back into the room where the Christmas tree stood, Archie's mother came to see what the matter was.

  "Oh, Mother!" exclaimed Archie. "Look! The Clown is riding on my Elephant's back! Isn't he funny?"

  "He looks very odd!" said Mrs. Dunn. "Who put him up there? Did you lift Sidney's Calico Clown to your Stuffed Elephant's back, Archie?"

  "Oh, no, Mother!" Archie answered. "It wasn't I."

  "Nor I," said Elsie.

  "And I didn't, either," said the other children in turn.

  "Well," said Mrs. Dunn, looking from one to the other, "of course the Clown couldn't have gotten up on the Elephant's back by himself, and of course the Elephant couldn't have lifted him there with his trunk. Though I know a live clown could jump on a live elephant's back, and a live elephant could lift a live clown up in his trunk. But these are only toys. They must be moved about."

  "Well, I didn't put the Clown there," said Archie again.

  "Nor I!" echoed the other children.

  And while this talk was going on the Elephant, the Clown, and the other Christmas toys were very much worried lest their part in the fun be found out. Of course we know how the Clown got on the Elephant's back, but Mrs. Dunn did not, nor did the children. They didn't know that the toys had the power to make believe come to life when no one was watching them.

  "If they had only stayed out of the room a little longer, I would have had a chance to slip down off the Elephant's back, and all would be well," thought the Calico Clown. "But, coming in so quickly, they caught me! I hope they never find out about our having fun when they are out of the room, or they'll never leave us toys alone."

  "How do you s'pose that Clown got on my Elephant?" asked Archie of his mother, a little later.

  "I think some of you children must have put him there, and forgotten about it," said Mrs. Dunn.

  "No! No!" the children cried.

  "Well, then Nip must have been playing with the Clown and just dropped him on the Elephant's back," said Mrs. Dunn. Nip was Archie's dog, a great big fellow, but very kind and good, and especially fond of children. He was called Nip because he used to playfully nip, or pretend to bite, cats. He never really bit them, though.

  "But Nip isn't here to take the Clown up in his mouth and put him on my Elephant," Archie said.

  "Oh, I guess your dog ran in here while you were out in the other room, eating the cake and drinking the milk," Mrs. Dunn said. "Then Nip ran out again, after dropping the Clown. Anyhow, we don't need to worry about it. Go on with your Christmas fun."

  This the children did. And having seen the Clown on the Elephant, Dorothy wanted to have her Sawdust Doll ride in the same way. So the Clown was lifted off and the Doll was lifted on.

  "Oh, I'm having my wish! I'm having my wish!" joyfully thought the Sawdust Doll to herself, as she was put on the Elephant's back, and Archie pulled the big, stuffed animal about the room.

  The Elephant, too, was glad to give his friend the Doll a ride on his back as he had carried the Rolling Mouse and the other toys, though of course he could not speak and tell her so, for there were children in the room. The Doll, too, would have been glad to thank Mr. Elephant, but it was not allowed.

  So all the Stuffed Elephant could do was to swing his cloth trunk to and fro, as Archie pulled him
over the smooth floor, and all the Sawdust Doll could do was to wave her arms a little.

  The children thought it such fun to give the smaller toys rides on the back of the big, Stuffed Elephant that they shouted and laughed with glee, making a great deal of noise. And there was more noise when Dick, who owned the White Rocking Horse, came over with his friend Herbert, who had a toy Monkey on a Stick.

  "Oh, my dear children! You are making so much noise!" called Mrs. Dunn, entering the Christmas tree room. "Don't you want to go out in our big barn to play?"

  "Isn't it cold out in the barn?" asked Mirabell, as she looked from the window and saw the snowflakes falling. "I wouldn't want my Lamb to catch cold."

  "It isn't cold in our barn," Archie answered. "It has steam heat, 'cause my father doesn't want the horses to catch cold. And he doesn't want the water in our automobile to freeze, either, so he has steam heat in our barn."

  "And it's warm and cozy," added Elsie. "Oh, out there we can have a lot of fun!"

  "Let's go out there then," said Joe. "My Donkey likes it in barns, I guess."

  "And so will my Elephant!" called Archie.

  A little later the children were running over the snow to the big barn on Mr. Dunn's country estate. The gardener had shoveled a path through the snow from the house to the barn; so the children would not get their feet wet. Each child carried some toy, and Archie had all he could do to clasp the big elephant in his arms. For Archie was a small boy and the Elephant was one of the largest toys.

  Once, on the way from the house to the barn, Archie, carrying the Elephant, stumbled and nearly fell.

  "Oh!" cried the little boy, as he slipped along the snowy path. "Oh!"

  The Elephant wanted to cry "Oh!" also, but he dared not. He felt shivery and frightened, though, as he saw the banks of snow on either side of him.

  "I don't want to be pitched into another drift, head first," he thought to himself.

  But Archie did not fall, and the Elephant did not get a second bath in the snow, for which he was very glad.

  Into the warm barn trooped the children with their Christmas toys, some old and some new. Jake, the man who looked after the horses, giving them oats from a big bin, and hay from the loft, opened the doors for the children, and laughed to see how happy they were.

  "We're going to play here and have a lot of fun, Jake!" called Archie. "See my big Elephant! I just got him for Christmas!"

  "He is a fine fellow," Jake agreed. "Shall I put him in a stall as I do the horses?"

  "No, we are going to keep him here to play with," said Archie. "And I think I'll get a little hay to make believe feed him."

  "Well, be careful," warned Jake. "Don't fall off the haymow."

  The haymow was a big place in the barn where the dried grass (which is what hay is, you know) was stored away. While the other children were having fun with their toys, Archie climbed to the mow to get some hay for his Elephant.

  Now dried hay is slippery, as you know if you have ever tried to climb up a pile of it in a barn. And no sooner was Archie at the top of the mow than down he slid, on the hill of hay.

  "Oh, I'm falling!" he cried, and his sister and the other children came running to see what would happen.

  Archie slid down the haymow toward the floor of the barn. And it seemed as if he would get a hard bump. But, as it happened, a lot of the hay slid along with the little boy, and it was under him when he struck the barn floor. So he fell on the hay, which was like a cushion, and Archie wasn't hurt in the least. In fact he rather liked it.

  "Oh, this is fun!" he cried. "I'm going to slide down the haymow some more!"

  Again he climbed to the top, and down he slid, sitting upright as though on a chair. Again he slipped over the edge of the mow and fell on the pile of hay on the barn floor.

  "Hurray!" shouted Joe, who, being no longer lame, could play like other boys. "I'm going to try that!"

  He did, as did the other boys and girls, and soon they had forgotten their Christmas toys for the time being, in the newer fun of sliding down the hay. Thus the Elephant, the Donkey, and the different make-believe animals were left to themselves in a distant part of the barn.

  "This is our chance," said the Donkey to the Elephant. "Let's walk around. My legs are stiff, especially the one that was broken and which Mr. Mugg mended."

  "Yes, a little walk will do us good," agreed the Elephant. "I am a bit stiff myself, and I want to swing my trunk."

  So the Donkey and Elephant, making believe come to life, walked about the barn floor, while the children were farther off, sliding down the haymow.

  There were many strange things in the barn—at least strange to the Elephant and Donkey. There were garden tools of all sorts, rakes, hoes, shovels and picks. There were strange pieces of machinery for cutting hay, planting corn and potatoes, and the like.

  In one corner was a big wheel, with a rope around it, and for a moment the Elephant thought his friend the Spinning Wheel had come out to the barn to play. But a second look showed that this wheel was larger, stronger and different in every way.

  "I wonder what this wheel and rope are for?" said the Elephant to the Nodding Donkey.

  "I don't know, I'm sure," brayed the nodding toy.

  Just then the wheel turned slowly, and the long, dangling rope swayed to and fro.

  "I wonder what that is for!" went on the Elephant. Like most animals he was curious about something he did not understand, just as your cat or dog will try to find out what causes a strange noise.

  "Why don't you reach up with your trunk and feel it?" asked the Donkey. "I have heard you say your trunk was almost like a hand to you."

  "It is," the Elephant answered. "I will feel the rope and wheel and see what it is like."

  As the children were in another part of the barn, having fun in the haymow, and as there were no prying eyes to watch, the Elephant could do as he pleased. He raised his trunk and stretched it toward the dangling rope.

  And then, all of a sudden, something happened. The rope turned and twisted like a snake, a loop of it wound around the Elephant's neck, and a moment later he felt himself being lifted off the barn floor in the hempen coils. Through the air, like the pendulum of a big clock, he swayed, and as the rope pulled tighter and tighter the poor Elephant cried:

  "Oh, my dear friend Nodding Donkey! I am in a terrible state! The rope is so tight it is squeezing all the cotton stuffing out of me! Oh, what shall I do?"

  A Dangerous Slide

  Anxious as the Nodding Donkey was to help his friend the Stuffed Elephant, nothing could be done. For the rope had suddenly been pulled up, taking the Elephant with it. And there he swung, dangling to and fro, the coil of the rope getting tighter and tighter around his neck, choking the poor toy.

  "Oh, I know all the stuffing will be squeezed out of me! I just know it will!" sighed the Elephant. "Then I'll look like a balloon with all the air out of it! Oh dear!"

  "Can't you get yourself loose?" asked the Donkey. "I wish I could climb up and help you, but I can't."

  "And I'd help you, for I am a good climber, only I can't get off my stick. I'm fastened on tight just now," chattered Herbert's Monkey.

  "Well, something will have to be done, if I am to be saved!" called the Elephant, of course not speaking loudly enough for the children, in another part of the barn, to hear.

  Archie and his friends were still having fun sliding down the slippery hay, and they were making a great deal of noise. But you know how it is yourself. You often get tired of playing one game and want to go to another.

  It was this way with Archie and his friends. They slid and slid and slid on the hay until they had had enough of it. Then Elsie said:

  "Let's go back and get our playthings. I want to see my Christmas Dollie."

  Back to where they had left the toys trooped the children, and Archie, who ran ahead, was just in time to see his Stuffed Elephant swaying on the rope that was choking him.

  "Oh, look! Look at my Elephant!" crie
d Archie. "He's hung on a rope! Oh, he'll be killed! Oh, dear!"

  "Run and grab him down! Pull him down!" shouted Joe.

  Archie ran, but by this time the rope was pulled up still farther and the Elephant was so far above the barn floor that even Herbert, who was taller than Archie, could not reach the plaything.

  "Oh, stop!" cried Archie. "Stop hurting my nice Elephant, Rope!"

  Archie's voice was loud and clear. Suddenly the rope which had been winding up, around the big wheel, came to a stop, and a voice called:

  "What's the matter down there? Are any of you children hurt?"

  "Oh, that's Jake!" exclaimed Elsie. "It's our man Jake!"

  "What's the trouble there, Archie?" Jake asked. He was somewhere in the loft of the barn.

  "It's my Elephant!" Archie answered, trying to keep from crying. "My nice, Stuffed Christmas Elephant. He's hanging on a rope!"

  "On a rope!" exclaimed Jake. "Do you mean this wheel rope that I use to hoist up bags of oats to the bin here? Is it that rope?"

  "I don't know—but it's some rope!" Archie answered. "Can't you save my Elephant?"

  "Of course I can!" called Jake. "Don't worry! Your Elephant isn't alive—choking with a rope can't hurt him!"

  "Yes, it can, too!" insisted Archie. "It can choke all the stuffing out of him and make him flat like a pancake."

  "Well, yes, that might happen," admitted Jake. "But I didn't know any of your toys were tangled in the hoisting rope, or I would not have pulled it. Wait a minute, now, and I'll turn the wheel the other way and let your Elephant down to you."

  Slowly the big wheel turned in the other direction, and the end of the rope that was about the Elephant's neck dropped toward the barn floor. The Elephant, also, began slowly to come down.

  "Thank goodness!" said the toy to himself. "I could not have stood being hanged much longer. I'm glad it's over!"

  And it was over a moment later when Archie could reach up, take the loop of rope from around his plaything's neck and set the Elephant down on the barn floor.