The girls all laughed.
“Last warning. Apologize now,” Nathan said in a low tone.
“Sorry,” she said in a tone, not sorry.
I smiled at Amy then at Nathan, who was already looking at me. I didn’t have to guess what he was thinking. Her tough-girl bravado stance and snide remarks: she was me.
“Yeah. This hot girl can pitch wearing anything,” I said.
Amy rolled her eyes. “Fine. We’ll use you as batting practice.”
“She struck me out,” Nathan said, and that made all the girls give me a second look.
“I can still strike you out,” I boasted.
He cocked an eyebrow and curled his lips upward. “Bring it.”
“Brought,” I shot back.
They laughed and cheered.
“No way.”
“No one can strike out Officer D.”
Nathan swaggered over with a baseball in his hand and handed it to me.
I gave him a coy smile and spoke low enough to where he was the only one who could hear me. “If I play, what’s in it for me?”
“What do you want, Shadow?” he purred.
I placed my hands on my hips. “Not that. You couldn’t handle me now.”
He gave me a broad smile that brought out the dimples in his cheeks. My heart skipped a beat. “I’m not easily caught.”
“Since when were you ever hard to get?” I teased and poked his side.
His laugh was deep. “You’re joking with me. Good to have you back.”
Was I back? Was there ever anyone in my life like Nathan? Despite everything that happened, no one else made me smile whenever they did, or made my heart beat faster.
He strutted back to home plate. I stole a look at his tight ass in his jeans. Oh. I’d give you a good try if you weren’t a cop.
Memories of him, Jackson, and me playing at this very mound, came to my mind. We’d been the same age then as these girls were now. We’d played out here from the long summer days until the crisp fall weather set in, often playing until the streetlamps flickered to life.
“Shadow,” Nathan called, bringing my attention back to the girls and the game they were waiting to play.
“Stop drooling and pitch,” the girl with the mask on in the catcher’s box yelled out.
I gave her the finger and then cursed. They all burst with laughter.
“Jesus, Shadow,” Nathan scolded. “Watch it, Lola. One more outburst like that, and we will end without practice today.”
“Sorry, girls. Don’t listen or do as I say, not as I do,” I yelled out.
“Lucy? You want to give it a try?”
I followed Nathan’s gaze over to a laughing girl with cotton-candy pink hair and a black shirt and jeans.
She shook her head, her face turning as pink as her hair.
I started practicing my grip: curve, slider, screwball. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to use, as a bubble of excitement grew inside me. I put down the ball and pounded the baseball mitt with my fist until it felt good in the hand. Picking up the ball, I said, “I’m doing a few practice throws. Lola, are you ready?”
Her face lit up at the sound of her name. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
I threw the ball a few times and crossed the plate quickly. The girls all gathered closer to watch.
I held up my two fingers to Nathan, signaling I was ready. He swung the bat around before taking his batting stance, legs parted, bent at the knees, with a two-handed grip on the end of the bat.
I straightened my spine, placed my feet apart at the mound, and brought the glove up in front of my chest with my elbows close to my body. I then took a step, lifted my leg, drew back my right arm with the ball, and threw it.
Nathan swung and connected for a hit. The ball soared overhead, followed by the delighted cheers from the girls. I turned my head and followed it clear across the park.
I cocked my brow. Of course, Nathan wouldn’t make playing the game easy for me.
He smiled and shrugged. “You’re rusty. I’ll give you the best out of three.”
He winked and coiled the bat in the air while wiggling his hips. He looked too damn hot and was taunting me, riling me. And it was working.
For the next pitch, I warmed up my arm, practiced my stance, and tried my screwball, positioning my fingers apart on the seam. I pulled back my arm, and lifted my leg again for the windup, throwing it using my whole body.
Nathan’s bat grazed the ball that flew back to Lola, who stood up and caught it in her mitt.
The girls roared and clapped.
“One for one,” I called.
Nathan smiled at me. “See? I told you she can play. Bring another one of your screwballs at me, Shadow.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, Nathan was toying with me now. He gave me that one. Still, I threw the ball again, with all the energy I had left.
Nathan swung again. He missed.
The girls cheered. “Yay!”
“Officer D gave that to you,” Amy said to take the wind out of my sails.
“You’ll never know either way,” I said with a lift of my chin.
She cracked a smile. “You’re crazy. Show me your pitches.”
And just like that, I was teaching Amy how to pitch, with the rest of the girls lining up to bat for their practice.
After helping Nathan put the stuff away in his car, we said goodbye to the kids, who I learned were from the Mamie Johnson Group Home.
I handed him the ball. “Thanks for the game.”
“Wait. Maeve invited you over for dinner,” he said.
I folded my arms. “When?”
I hadn’t seen him check his phone once during the game. And I had been staring holes into him every chance I had.
“I’ve invited you, and you’re hungry. Let’s go.”
I put my hands on my hips and thought about telling him off, but his hopeful grin surprised me. I caved. Hanging out and playing ball had been the most fun I’d had in a long time. But still, the sting of the drug arrest tickled the back of my mind. I still hadn’t remembered everything that happened that night. Jokes and flirts aside, Nathan was a cop now, and I’d have to watch myself with him.
Nathan had a way of getting what he wanted from me, no matter what. Of course, I’d always loved Maeve. She’d continued to message me after Nathan and I broke up.
Maeve met us on her porch, her long auburn hair in her signature side-braid. She had on a fitted printed T-shirt and jeans.
“Shana.” Her blue eyes turned watery on approach.
I surprised myself and went all in and even squeezed her back.
“So good to see you,” she choked. “I’ve missed you.” My heart constricted, and I couldn’t say a word. I’d missed her so much. She’d been one of the few women in my life who I’d felt had loved me. Wanted me around. Whereas my mom had told me she was busy, and I couldn’t see her, Maeve’s arms had opened wide and held me. Yeah, I’d missed her something fierce. With her arm around my shoulder, she said, “Boney. Let Mama Maeve feed ya.” She was only six years older than I was, five years older than Nathan, but she always treated everyone like her kids.
“I’m actually fasting for a diet.”
She stopped. Both she and Nathan looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.
“What’s this nonsense?” she asked.
I laughed. “Just kidding, girl. I’m starving. Is that shepherd’s pie I smell?”
“Steak and potatoes oozing with butter,” Maeve said, and I jokingly jumped ahead of her back to her kitchen. I sat on the middle stool at the island while Nathan got a couple beers out of the fridge and an iced tea for me. He remembered. He kept surprising me with these kind gestures. It didn’t make sense. I hurt him.
Maeve took the seat across from me and placed her hand over mine.
“So, how was jail?” she asked.
I coughed. “Shitty. Just say no to drugs.”
“All right, and that’s the end of that,” she said and eyeb
alled Nathan. “He said he found you sleeping in your car. I don’t need to know the details, but you’re staying with me here.”
I glared at Nathan. “I’m not a charity case. I’ll go home now.”
“If you wanted to stay home, you wouldn’t have been in your car,” she pointed out. “There are no secrets, and I don’t like to pretend shit didn’t happen. You get a comfy bed, good baking, saucy town gossip. That’s the good. The rest is cheesy romance movies and me singing oldies while I cook.”
She wasn’t a bad singer from what I remembered. I didn’t want to stay at home, but nothing came without a catch. “What do you want from me?”
“No drugs. We clear?” Maeve said bluntly.
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not a druggie.”
“That was probably why the drugs were dumped on you, besides your dad. I suspect someone thinks you won’t get in trouble. But not for one minute do I believe you’re guilty, and neither does my brother. He had no choice but to do his job.”
I took a sip of the iced tea and looked at my hands holding the glass. “I know. The person obviously doesn’t know my family relationship. I’ll take the bed for tonight. Thank you both.”
I turned to Nathan, and he was already staring at me. He smiled and winked. Sexy and pushy.
I returned the same gesture.
“Now that that’s settled,” Nathan said, putting his beer down, “I’ve got to finish my cardio and weights. I’ll be back when dinner is ready. You can talk about me all you want.”
“Why would we want to do that?” I teased.
“Because you’re still trying to get in my pants. Oh, by the way, if you want to get in my good graces, you’ll dress up for dinner tonight,” he joked, not waiting for my response before walking out.
“Dream on,” I yelled back anyway and laughed. But still, I watched Nathan leave the room.
Maeve poked me to regain my attention and grinned. “I bet you want to know if Nathan is seeing someone.”
I shrugged. “It’s none of my business.”
“I’ll tell you anyway. Nathan’s latest is a flight attendant named Melody. They’re friends with benefits so far and haven’t fully bonded yet.”
Nathan’s good-looking and an all-around perfect guy. He wouldn’t be alone. I wondered what Maeve considered fully bonded, though. “How do you know things aren’t serious with Melody?”
She smiled. “Because Nathan would’ve brought her over here. What about you? Any boyfriends?”
“I don’t have anyone at the moment,” I said. In truth, I hadn’t been with a guy for over a year. Hadn’t been interested or needed an itch scratched. “I don’t know why you invited me to stay. Nathan and I . . . well, I’m—”
“You’re family. That’s why you’re here. You’re still family. He had no choice but to follow the law, Shana, but he wants to help you.” Her voice trailed off like there was something else she wanted to tell me.
“Go on, Maeve. Tell me straight.”
She sighed. “I only ask that you don’t start something with Nathan unless you’re staying in town. I don’t think he could take it. He missed you something awful.”
My heart panged. “I missed Nathan too. I just couldn’t . . .”
She nodded and took my hand and squeezed it. “I understand. Jackson was special. Pain in the butt, but a great man.”
I laughed at that.
Jackson and I always loved the way she fussed over us. I believed, like everyone else in Sunnyville, Maeve was born to mother. Sadly, a few years ago, when the time came, she lost her baby at eight months. Her marriage ended in divorce not long after.
We left the kitchen, and Maeve gave me a quick tour and a key so I could bring my stuff over. Even though I only agreed to one night.
After we settled in the living room, I went to the mantel over her fireplace and looked at the framed photos. Nathan and Aidan in their ROTC uniforms. Aidan in the Marines. Nathan with the Giants team. Nathan graduating from college. Then I came to a picture of Nathan with Jackson. My heart moved from its spot in my chest to my throat. It was them on their Little League team.
Maeve came to stand next to me. “Didn’t you protest about not being on this team?”
“Yep,” I said, laughing. “I was sure I could play better than most of the boys. I just didn’t want to be without Jackson.”
She placed her hand on my shoulder and spoke in a gentle tone. “Sorry. I have a few more I think you’d like.”
She pointed to a photo of me that I’d forgotten about. It was when we all went to prom. Jackson went with Amber, Nathan went with me. In the photo, he had his arm around my shoulder. The skin on my face heated. We told each other we loved each other for the first time that night. He’d been so good to me.
“Here are a couple more.” Maeve pointed to a picture of us at high school and one of me alone at college graduation.
Maeve rubbed my back. “We see you. And you’re always with us.” We see you.
As opposed to my parents’ house, where any evidence of me living there was just . . . gone. Empty, shadowed walls had replaced my existence. Boxes hidden away had eradicated my life. Yet here with Maeve . . .
My eyes stung, and my throat ached. I pointed down the hall and a muffled, “Just going to the bathroom,” came out. Once there, I heaved several heavy breaths, then splashed water on my face. You’re always with us.
Thankfully, when I came out, Maeve let me be. She understood, and pulled me into a conversation about the craziness of life in LA.
After a trip to my car for some clothes still in my trunk, I eyed a dress, but I didn’t want to seem desperate for Nathan’s attention. I chose another pair of jeans and a vintage embroidered top. While brushing my hair, I considered dying it plum and black from the red and blond colors I had in. Maybe I can do that another day. Not wanting to be completely naked, I added a swipe of lip gloss to my lips and called it a day. Nathan had seen me a lot worse.
I shook my head and took a deep breath to gather myself, though my mind remained stuck on how, even after I left and pushed them away, Nathan and his family had kept a place for me.
Shana
Nathan had already returned when I came back to join Maeve for dinner. He’d put in the effort: brushed hair, pressed button-down black shirt and fitted denim jeans. His blue eyes met mine and held. A grin spread across his face, and a flutter went through my chest. He got up, held out my chair. I never was a woman who liked men who did stuff like that, still, I took the seat without fuss and tried to keep the stupid smile off my face and stop the tremble in my body with having him close. Thankfully, the feast Maeve cooked captured all our attention, and we dove in.
I reached over and squeezed Maeve’s arm. “Damn, this food is so fucking good, I could weep.”
“Listen to her. That’s how she spoke in front of my kids,” he said, shaking his head.
Maeve laughed. “Jesus, Shana.”
I shrugged. “Hey, I’m not used to being around kids. They weren’t all bad, once I showed them I could play.”
“Yeah. Shana made Lucy laugh,” he said.
“Lucy?” Maeve repeated in a surprised tone and added more potatoes to the empty space on my plate. “Oh, that’s great news. Her care team will be happy to hear that.”
Nathan reminded me that she was the teen with cotton-candy hair that sat out during the game. “She shut down after social services removed her from her home.”
“That must be awful,” I murmured.
“True,” Nathan said. “But a change doesn’t have to be the end of her story. She has a chance to restart.”
I ate my food, and we talked about television and movies through mouthfuls of apple strudel pie. We then decided to go to the living room. With Maeve settled in like a buffer between Nathan and me on her brown leather three-seater, we watched a comic action movie. We had all seen it before but still enjoyed it. It reminded me of simpler times. When we all had time to sit around and relax. Together.
>
Halfway through the movie, Maeve excused herself to nap before her overnight shift at the hospital.
“She must love being a nurse,” I said to Nathan when she left. “Like you with being a cop.”
“I don’t love it, actually. I have my eye on being a district attorney.”
“Why are you working as a cop if you don’t want to?”
“We lost good men and women to retirement and don’t have enough people in town to replace them. Dad tried to do the work of two and had a heart attack. I couldn’t leave him under all that stress when I could help him out.”
My mouth dropped open. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. So, you gave up your dream for your dad?”
“My first dream was baseball, as you know. I delayed my second one. I’m expecting a lot more life ahead of me. Just like you don’t necessarily have to give up your business idea.”
“There are plenty of people out there with ideas,” I said. “I honestly never really felt super connected to what I was doing. It didn’t feel like a calling or anything.” That was something I’d thought often, but never admitted to anyone. Nathan had a way of putting me at ease. That is until he turned the television off and angled his body toward me. He draped his arm over the back of the couch as his eyes connected with mine. I felt like I’d lose my head if I had to stare at him for long.
“Take some time and see what you’re interested in doing. Come sit closer to me. I feel weird talking to you sitting on the other end of the couch.”
“Sounds like a line,” I teased, but I scooted closer until our legs were touching, his thighs solid and warm against my side. He didn’t respond but reached a hand, swept my bangs, and let his hand trail down the sides of my face. Tingles spread across my skin wherever his fingers touched.
“What are you doing?” I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear, and we laughed a little when it fell loose again.
“I like to see your face when I speak to you, Shana.”
“Yeah?”
“You know I do. Always did.”
My heart pounded.
“I’m surprised, I was sure I’d find you married. I pictured you as a family man grilling on the deck.”
Command: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 9