Searching for Someday

by Jennifer Probst

  Slade grabbed his keys and went to claim her.

  KATE ROLLED OVER FOR the hundredth time and shoved the sheets back. Sweat beaded her body, and her skin was oversensitive to any fabric, even the soft cotton of her T-shirt. Her core throbbed and wept for relief that no hot pink ginormous vibrator could ever satisfy. Images of Slade and Elena making love in his bed tortured her vision. She anticipated his call, detailing his meal and telling her to try again.

  Tonight, the phone remained silent.

  With a low curse, she sat up and ripped off her shirt, hating even the slight brush of contact against her swollen breasts. She was being punished and it was a doozy. She'd pushed him into the arms of another woman, afraid to claim him for herself, and now it was too late.

  The clock digits shone in neon green. Midnight. Robert whimpered from his spot in his orthopedic bed. As if he was also disturbed by her inability to sleep, he shifted fitfully in a drive to get comfortable. Kate sighed and sat up. Maybe she'd put on a movie. Or fire up her iPad and read. Anything but keep thinking about Slade naked with someone other than her.

  Loser.

  She kicked off the covers and trudged topless into the living room. She grabbed a bottle of water, turned on the reading lamp, and heard the noise.

  Kate froze. What the hell? Adrenaline rushed through her and she jumped for the phone to call 911 when the doorbell rang.

  Tiptoeing to the door, she peered out the sidelights.

  Slade stared back at her.

  Kate jerked back with a gasp. What was she going to do?

  "I saw you, Kate. Let me in. Now."

  She bit her lip and pondered. This was not a good idea. "It's midnight," she hissed through the door.

  "I know what time it is. I'm freezing, open the frickin' door."

  Crap, she was naked! She grabbed the afghan from the chair, wrapped it around her like a toga, and slid open the lock.

  He walked in like he owned the place and her. His gaze took in her makeshift outfit, probing the loose holes of the blanket and uncovering the skin beneath. Her nipples hardened instantly. A dangerous air of masculine temper sparked the air, the surge of testosterone wrapping her in a spell that dragged her back to basic instincts desperate to escape years of civility. To mate. To give.

  To surrender.

  Kate shivered. "What are you doing here?"

  "It was a test, wasn't it?"

  She didn't pretend to misunderstand. The knowledge she'd run out of options squeezed her like an insect wrapped tight in the silky rope of a spider's web. Kate lifted her chin.

  "Yes."

  He growled and took a step forward.

  One sharp bark jerked her head around. Robert paused in the doorway of the bedroom, watching the scene. He dragged his body down the hall at rapid speed, placing himself in front of her like he was a fully trained guard dog ready to take down an assailant. Love and pride surged for the unbreakable bond of his protection. Kate opened her mouth to calm him, but Slade had already moved.

  With a humble grace that left her speechless, Slade knelt before Robert in supplication. He offered his hands slowly out in the universal gesture of surrender. "Thank you for taking care of her," he said gently. "But I would never hurt her. I swear to you on all I hold dear in this lifetime, I will never hurt your mistress."

  She held her breath as he leaned forward until he was nose to nose with the pit bull. Moments passed. A look of shared understanding and something deeper passed between them. Slowly, Robert relaxed his rigid stance, bowed his head, and licked Slade's palm softly. Then he dragged himself back into the bedroom.

  The last of her defenses shattered. Kate stared at the man who had humbled himself before her dog, honoring Robert's emotions as if he were human. Slade rose to his feet, stripped off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and met her gaze head on.

  Raw, hot sexual energy buzzed around them. Her mouth watered at the sight of his half-unbuttoned shirt, the long, tanned column of his neck, and the locked tension of his jaw. His gaze pinned her without mercy, letting her know this was her last chance to run.

  "So, you admit you put me to a test." His words came out lazy, as if he had all the time in the world, but his body tensed like a predator ready to pounce if provoked. "Did you want me to sleep with Elena? Let you off the proverbial hook?"

  "No." She pressed the blanket tighter to her body. "Half of me wanted you to fall for her so I'd be free. I could hate you, remind myself you weren't meant to be mine. But the thought of you touching her made me crazy."

  He lifted a brow. "A little honesty, Kate? Good. Since this seems like a good night for cliches, let's put all our cards on the table. I wanted to sleep with her." He ignored her wince and kept speaking, refusing to let her break the stare. "I was pissed off by your games and ready to end it. I kissed her."

  Hurt lanced deeply, but she struggled to keep her composure. How could she be betrayed when he only did what she wanted? "I understand," she choked out.

  His face tightened. "No, you don't understand. That's the problem. I kissed her, tried to work up a physical reaction, and got nothing. I want you. Only you. The real question is, why won't you admit you want me just as much?"

  The looming confrontation crashed over her and left her nowhere to run. Is this the type of woman she'd become? So scared of being hurt or dragged into a situation she couldn't control, she quaked with fear? Shame made her lift her chin high in the air. He offered one night of pleasure. She tried to mock his offer by stripping it down to just sex, but they'd already shared much more. Secrets, intimacy, honesty. Isn't that what she was running from? The knowledge that once he pushed deep inside her, he'd be buried in both her body and soul permanently?

  Time to put on her big-girl panties and follow Frost's less-traveled road. "I'm scared."

  He cocked his head. "About?"

  She shifted her weight and forced herself to confront the truth. When was the last time a male stripped her bare? Dared to want more than a fleeting physical encounter that barely skimmed the surface, refusing to dive deep enough to feel anything real?

  Never.

  She waited for guarantees in a world with none. She hid behind her company and put everyone ahead of her, urging them to let go and allow love into their lives. Yet she kept herself isolated and alone, with only Robert for company, on a hypocritical throne above the rest of the world. Dear God, wasn't it time to let go? Take a chance with no thought to an agenda or plan or list she could calmly check off?

  Kate refused to cower beneath the blistering doubt in his gaze. "Because I've never felt this way before," she whispered.

  He paused a beat and let her wait in miserable silence. "Better. I swore you'd have to come to me, but I couldn't wait. I passed your test and now you owe me. What are you going to do about it?"

  Her throat closed up in pure nerves, and she clutched the blanket as if the soft yarn could save her. But there was only one thing that could save her at this point. Complete surrender.

  The man before her would demand no less. Arilyn's words drifted past in a gentle reminder.

  The only way to true happiness is by letting go of control. The rest is just an illusion.

  Kate squeezed her eyes shut and reached for courage.

  Then let the blanket drop.

  Cool air rushed over her flesh, pebbling her nipples. She opened her eyes and waited.

  He drank her in with a hunger that stripped away all civility and left her raw and vulnerable. His gaze roved over every trembling inch, lingering on the thrust of her breasts, the drenched core of her sex hidden by a scrap of lace, the length of her bare legs. Kate fought the instinct to cover herself with her hands, knowing he'd never allow her to hide from him again. She straightened to full height, proud in her nakedness, daring him to take what she finally offered.

  He didn't move. Didn't speak. The air in the room charged and jumped like a live fuse. "If I cross this room, there's no more running away. I'm going to fuck you until ther
e's nothing left. I won't be gentle. Think carefully, Kate. I'm not playing games with you anymore."

  She trembled from the dark threat, but her body begged him for more, to show her everything he had and not hold back. This was what she'd been waiting for--a man to want her with the passion that wasn't quite civil or proper. His erection pushed against the fabric of his pants, his muscles locked and poised for his leap once she gave him the words.

  Her voice shook. "I don't want to run anymore. I don't care about the future, or what's right or wrong. I'm yours, Slade. Tonight, I belong to you."

  He ripped out a curse and crossed the room.

  His mouth took hers in a hard, brutal kiss, his tongue pushing between her lips to set the tone of his dominance. She whimpered in sheer pleasure, opening and taking each thrust deep, drunk on his taste and his smell and the blistering heat of his skin.

  Slade wasted no time on preliminaries. He reached down and lifted her, and she wrapped her legs tight around his hips as he walked toward the bedroom, his mouth never breaking contact. She floated in a crazed sea of sensation, her flesh quivering for more, and he placed her on the bed while his hands ripped the fragile silk from her body.

  "I can't slow down. I had plans to torture you until you begged for me, to make you come a thousand times before I even entered your body. But I need to be inside you. You drive me crazy, Kate. Spread your legs. Let me look at you."

  With a wanton openness she never experienced before, she spread her thighs wide. Her arousal leaked over her thighs, her pussy splayed open and bare for his hot gaze. Slade ripped off his shirt in record time, visually feasting on her throbbing clit as he unbuckled his pants, kicked off his shoes, and removed his briefs. "You're so gorgeous. I've been dying to know your taste, baby. I want to lick you for hours and play with that delicious pussy. But I don't know how much longer I can wait."

  Kate moaned at his dirty words, her nipples stabbing for the relief of his tongue and fingers. She writhed on the bed while he ripped open the condom wrapper, slipped it on himself, and climbed on the mattress.

  Slade knelt between her legs and ran one finger down her drenched slit. She cried out as her swollen flesh begged for more. With a low growl, he dipped his head and dropped gentle, teasing kisses over her drenched core. The whisper softness of his lips, the hot lash of wet tongue, all swirled together and cranked the tension in her belly so tight she thought she'd shatter with one more touch. Her clit hardened and demanded relief, but he ignored it, sliding his tongue over the sides and pulsing his fingers in tiny increments into her channel. She wriggled for freedom, but he kept her held tight, stabbing his tongue around her pulsing clit. Then slipped two fingers deep inside.

  She cried out in delicious agony. Breath strangled in her lungs so she was only able to emit tiny pants as those talented fingers rubbed and plunged in a rocking rhythm that drove her right to the edge.

  Kate arched, ready to explode, but he gave a sexy laugh and removed his fingers. "Not yet, baby. Not until I'm deep inside you." He lifted her ankles, placed them on his shoulders, and looked up her body.

  Kate shook at the seething, sexual energy crackling between them, soaking into her skin until every pore and cell wept for him to take her. His massive erection poised at her entrance. She fisted her hands in the sheets and wondered if she'd splinter into a thousand pieces once he slid inside.

  His eyes blazed. "Give me everything. I won't settle for anything else."

  She sucked in her breath, suddenly terrified at her vulnerability. What was she doing? Giving her virginity over to a man who believed in nothing but the moment? He'd destroy her, take everything she had, and leave her with nothing. Panic reared. With a cry, she opened her mouth to stop him, but it was too late. He surged inside with one long slide and claimed her.

  A sharp pain seized her. She grabbed for breath, dug her nails into his back, and tried to process the swirling sensations ripping her body and mind. Slowly, the burn faded into a sense of overfullness. Her body adjusted, squeezing his cock, her wet channel snugly accepting his length even as her brain fought the final battle. "N-n-no, don't, I can't, oh, God, it's too much."

  His powerful muscles drove her deep into the mattress, and Kate pushed at his shoulders, half aware she didn't know if she should push him away or pull him closer. His skin was hot and slightly damp. An instinct to surrender to everything he wanted shimmered through her, but she fought the claim, afraid he'd take every piece of her body and mind and soul. "Look at me, baby. Open your eyes."

  Kate half sobbed and obeyed. His warm palms cupped her face, and he held completely still, his cock pulsing deep inside until she didn't know where she ended and he began. A rocket of sensations exploded inside, which her brain desperately tried to make sense of--stretched, achy, wet, hot. As if he realized her barriers, a low growl emanated from his chest.

  "No, you will not hide from this. Let go, Kate. No more hiding."

  He rocked his hips in a delicious friction that slid over her clit and eased himself deeper. His mouth took hers, his tongue diving in with firm strokes, penetrating her in every way until she surrendered to his command.

  The heat intensified, and now there was no pain, just a gorgeous growing pleasure that bloomed in her gut and spread out to every inch of her body. He increased the pace little by little, taking her higher, until she begged for more. She dug her nails into the mattress, lifted her hips, and let him ride her hard, fast, demanding every inch be opened and vulnerable to him.

  Kate bit her lower lip as the tension twisted so tight it became excruciating. "Please, oh, please. Slade, I need--"

  "That's it, baby, all of it, more." He groaned, rolling his hips and hitting a spot deep inside that shimmered with vibrations. Kate hovered on the brink of release, and he kept her there, drinking in every facial expression, not allowing her to conceal anything else.

  His finger reached between them and slid over her clit. The orgasm took hold and shattered. Kate screamed as her channel milked him, and he rode out every last shudder, lengthening pleasure until convulsions racked her and wrung her dry. He gritted his teeth and groaned with satisfaction, letting himself go. His body tightened and he shuddered above her, the shock of pleasure too intense for any words. He slumped, tucked her neatly into his body and rolled so her head lay on his chest. Limp, sated, wrecked, Kate melted into him, closed her eyes, and rested.

  "WOW."

  Slade grinned and looked down. Her pin-straight hair was tangled and had that tumbled-after-sex quality. Sweat glistened on her skin, and the delicious scent of female arousal drifted to his nostrils. Her lips were parted and slightly swollen. Her muscles melted into him as if she was a natural extension of his body, her ankle hooked over his thigh, her hip a gleaming expanse of curve and pale white flesh that contrasted with his own olive skin.

  "That's all you got?"

  She blinked and stretched with a lazy grace that stiffened him to full staff. He was crazy to think one night with her would wring her out of his system. He'd never thought about the full danger of snagging a taste, then getting hooked. Slade pushed down the niggling worry that told him laying the trap to catch her had backfired. She'd trapped him just as well.

  "Thought you'd be happy. I'm beyond words."

  He chuckled and smoothed back her tangled hair. "True. That's probably a miracle."

  She lifted a hand to try and punch him, but it fell helplessly to her side. "I'll make you pay later."

  "I'm sure you will." He cupped her bare breast, playing with her nipple. The nub hardened instantly under his teasing thumb. "But not until I wreak my own revenge."

  She arched into his touch. Power rushed through him at her raw response. The inner caveman he always beat back roared to life and shattered his civilized veneer. God, how long had he fought this only to be overwhelmed the moment they touched? Still, he needed to keep it strictly to the bedroom. Already, Kate pushed buttons he never knew he had, making him long for the unthinkable.

&nb
sp; More.

  "If it contains any of the moves you did before, bring it."

  "Baby, I almost spilled my seed before I got inside of you. You've got a hell of a lot more coming."

  He squeezed her breasts, tightening on her nipple, and she gasped. He watched her carefully and caught the tiny thrust of her hips, the tripping of her pulse in her neck. Oh, yeah. His Kate liked to play a bit on the wild side. He couldn't wait to explore every one of her limits and beyond.

  Curiosity burned to know more. She hid so many layers behind her composed businesswoman persona. Each time she revealed more, his fascination intensified. Slade kept up the caress, lulling her into a state of relaxed arousal. "When I first met Robert, you said something that stayed with me. Just because someone was broken doesn't mean they should be thrown away."

  "Yes."

  "You were talking about more than Robert, weren't you?"

  She took a few moments before answering. He stroked and tweaked her nipple to urge her on. "I stutter."

  The simple admission tore through the room like a misfired champagne cork. "What do you mean, baby? You had a stuttering problem?"

  "I still do. When I get nervous or stressed, I lapse back. I've gotten it under control in my adulthood, but I had a hard time."

  He continued his gentle massage of her breasts. Remembered the few times she seemed to trip over her tongue. He'd assumed it was because she was overwhelmed by his pushiness to get her to confront their attraction. "Don't schools do therapy for that?"

  She didn't speak for a while, as if wondering how much to tell him, but he kept his touch soothing. The connection of skin on skin guided her into a deeper state of intimacy, where sharing secrets in the dark blocked out the reality of the day-to-day world. "I started when I was eight. Usually children who stutter get help and outgrow it. At first, everyone thought I was just shy or nervous. I began to shut down more and more in order to stop it. I had all these thoughts and things I wanted to say, but when I opened my mouth, everything got tangled up. It was like a crazy cycle I couldn't break. I had decided to ask for help when my dad got transferred to upstate New York for his job. I had to move, and meet new people, and it started all over."