The Sin Eater

by Lee McIntyre

  Kate had a shattered look on her face, but her voice was clear. “But wouldn’t all this look bad for Adam? If the police are investigating and they find out we’re separated, wouldn’t that suggest I’ve lost faith in him? That I believe he’s guilty of something?”

  “That’s a good point, but we can’t help it,” Carnap said. “And remember that in a criminal case they’d have to prove his guilt, not just be suspicious. It might look bad for him to move out, but that doesn’t give them any evidence of his culpability in killing Rachel Norwood. Not unless you testified against him. But I would suggest, Adam, that you get a criminal lawyer to represent you. For Emma’s sake, I’m going to have to be Kate’s lawyer from now on. I can’t help you anymore.”

  “We appreciate it,” Kate said.

  Adam watched a tugboat slowly making its way up the Willamette River. The bridges were all raised.

  Tugg blew in the front door just before dark, with a serious case of windburn and no trace of a smile. Kate was out of her wheelchair, sitting as close to Adam as physically possible on the living room couch.

  “Any word?” Tugg said.

  “We’re filing for legal separation,” Kate answered.

  “What?” Tugg’s face went from shock, to confusion, to understanding within the space of five seconds.

  Adam stroked Kate’s hair and turned to Tugg. “Not really a choice,” he said.

  “For how long?”

  “The real deal. File for separation and then divorce, if it drags on that long. Once they clear me in Rachel’s murder, we can see where we stand. But until then, if they catch us faking it, we’re dead.”

  “When?” Tugg said.

  Adam nodded toward his packed bag sitting in front of the hall closet.

  “Take the car,” Kate said. “Worse comes to worst, you can sleep in it tonight. Till you get where you’re going.”

  “Where am I going?”

  “I don’t know.” Kate buried her head in Adam’s shoulder.

  Adam put his arms around Kate and gave her a long tender kiss.

  “I cashed in the 401(k) plan. They said the check will be here next week.”

  “I don’t care about money now.”

  “You’d better,” Adam said. “Hal is itching to fire me and Carnap is billing overtime. Even if they clear me and we get Emma back, we’ll be broke.”

  “We’ve been broke before.”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  From the trailer park to Lake Oswego. Gone in an instant.

  “Let’s take the bike,” Tugg said. “It’ll give us more options.”

  “Okay,” Adam said. He stood and walked toward the door, then turned back. “Minh Chau said she’d be over after dinner. Kate, what are you going to do after that?”

  “Just go, Adam. I’ll figure something out. Families in Transition, remember? We don’t need to keep things a secret anymore. I’ve got some loyal colleagues at work. They’re ready to move mountains. I’ve got the house and the phone. Soon I’ll have Emma. We’ll be fine here. But leave your cell on, okay? I’ll call you when she’s home.”

  “No,” said Adam. “No phone calls. They might check. This has to look real. You can’t even tell Minh Chau. If we’re going to do this, let’s do it right. Let’s do it for Emma.”

  Kate raised her arms and motioned him back. “Just one more.”

  Adam rushed back and they dissolved in a long embrace. “This will work,” Adam finally said. “It has to. There’s no other way.” He rose and walked straight to his bag, bumping past Tugg on his way out.

  Everything Adam Grammaticus had built since the age of fifteen, he left behind that door.

  Chapter 14

  Adam woke to the sweet smell of sagebrush and fescue grass on the high desert. They were still in Oregon, if only barely, having slept last night in a farmer’s field just outside Ontario. After spending that first night down near the Columbia River in the worst truck stop Adam had ever seen, they’d taken off at sunrise, riding down the gorge at a blistering pace, straight through till sunset. When they rolled into town, they found a bar and ate, then rode back toward the dark and set up camp in a field by the motorcycle’s high beams.

  Adam rubbed his two-day beard and sat up. Tugg and the motorcycle were gone. He’d said he would be up with the sun for a trip to town to get some needed supplies. For what, Adam didn’t know.

  The sun was bright and hot, and looked as close as the Idaho border.

  Adam’s cell phone rang.

  “Adam, it’s Kate.”

  “Kate? I thought we weren’t going to use the phone. We should hang up.”

  “No, Adam, wait. Something’s happened.”

  Adam could hear the desperation in Kate’s voice. “Tell me.”

  “Well, there’s a lot. First about Emma. Castro said that even though you’re gone, she can’t return Emma.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “A lot of reasons. First, she said it was unclear whether I could take care of Emma by myself. I told her I was getting help, but she said it wasn’t a stable situation to have a single parent with zero mobility. I’d need three nannies.”

  “So you just have to line up the child care?”

  “No.There’s more. Adam, just listen. She got Judge Gordon to reverse the order and they put Emma in protective custody.”

  “For what?” Adam yelled into the cell phone. The nearest building was a barn over a mile away. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’ll come home.”

  “No! It’s not safe. Listen to me.”

  Adam stood and paced back and forth in the dense grass.

  Kate continued. “Steve Carnap called to say that the police are looking for you in connection with a double homicide twenty-three years ago. Do you remember when they took your fingerprints at the jail?”

  Adam felt nauseated. “Yes.”

  “Well, they claim they got a match. Steve wants to know if you got that criminal lawyer yet. When you do, he said, you should consider turning yourself in while you fight it. It’s bullshit, but that’s what he said.”

  “Not going to happen.”

  “Good, I agree. He said you’d look less guilty, but I told him you’re already innocent and look where that’s gotten you.”

  Loyalty, it’s a beautiful thing.

  "So does CPS know about the fingerprint? Is that why they put Emma in protective custody?"

  “Probably. It would make sense.”

  Adam looked down at the pattern he was wearing in the grass. He considered coming clean, just telling Kate the truth about his past. He’d wanted to tell her a hundred times over the years, but it had never seemed right. That part of his life had been dead and buried, and he wanted to leave it there. Plus, how could he implicate himself without involving Tugg? But Emma was Kate’s daughter, too. Didn’t she deserve to know what they were up against?

  Not over a cell phone.

  “Adam, there’s another reason you’ve got to be free, out there with Tugg. I haven’t gotten to the worst part yet.”

  “There’s a worse part?”

  “Yes. When I heard they were putting Emma in protective custody, I called one of the counselors at work. He said there was nothing protective about protective custody. In fact, he said that they mostly used it as a kind of juvenile detention to protect society from the kids! He said they’d probably take Emma out of foster care and put her in a group home somewhere off the grid. It’s horrible. The kids don’t know where they are or how long they have to be there. And they’re mixed in with all those other kids.”

  “So Emma’s in danger?”

  “Yes!”

  “Are you saying you know this, or you’re worried? There’s a big difference, babe. Did they tell you they were putting Emma in one of these places?”

  There was hesitation on the line. “They won’t tell me anything. I’ve been calling them nonstop. I can’t know for sure, but does it matter? Are you prepared to leave Emma out there and take the risk?”r />
  “No.”

  “Neither am I. Adam, I’m pregnant and in a wheelchair. I’m here with the phone and you’re out there with Tugg. You have to do something!”

  “You mean what we talked about the other day?”

  Adam’s pulse was pounding in his ears. He could barely hear Kate’s words until she screamed them.

  “Go get her!”

  Adam saw the blue Ford pickup coming down the road in a hurry, so he lay on his belly to let it pass. The sound kept getting nearer, until finally he heard the engine die somewhere at the edge of the field. A door opened and slammed.

  Where the hell was Tugg? Now that the sun was up, they had to get moving. How many dominoes would fall if he got busted on a simple charge of trespassing in sleepy little Ontario, Oregon?

  “Adam?” It was Tugg.

  Adam stood.

  “Adam, we’ve got to go. Get the blankets and gear. We’re out of here.”

  “Where’s the Harley?”

  Tugg had a resolute look on his face. “We can’t go where we’re going on a bike. Too conspicuous and not enough room. We’ll need to drive all night and take shifts sleeping. We’ve got room for cargo and there’s a cab if it gets cold.”

  He traded his bike? More loyalty.

  But where were they going? And how did Tugg seem to know how much things had shifted overnight?

  Adam grabbed his stuff and followed Tugg across the field.

  When they reached the truck Adam saw that the bed was filled with something, and covered with a tarp. Adam got in the passenger side.

  “Hold the jokes about riding shotgun,” Adam said. “Give me the Remington and I’ll put it under my seat.”

  Tugg handed it over and started the engine. They blew down the road with a rooster tail of red dirt behind them.

  For a few minutes they rode in silence, until Adam saw the sign: Idaho four miles.

  “Okay, Tugg. I’ve got some things I need to tell you. I talked to Kate —”

  “Yeah, I know. Give me your phone.”

  Adam handed Tugg his phone and watched him peel out the battery and SIM card with one hand, while he drove with the other.

  “Put all three pieces in the glove box,” Tugg said.

  More silence.

  “I never said a word to anyone, Tugg. Not even Kate. Ever.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Welcome to Idaho.

  Tugg looked in the rearview mirror and seemed relieved by the empty road behind them.

  Adam seized the moment. “So what now?”

  “I’ve got it covered.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Tugg kept his eyes straight ahead. “Look, you tried to do everything by the book, right? You were right. You’re a systems guy. You built a nice life. You played by the rules. When you got in trouble, you hired a lawyer.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And how did all that work out for you? Have you lost enough yet?”

  Adam quietly worked the muscles in his jaw.

  “Yeah, I have.”

  Tugg nodded.

  After a few miles of silence, Adam asked the question that they both knew came next. “So where are we headed, Tugg? Plan B?”

  “That’s a negative. We’re going for plan Z.”

  Tugg looked over.

  “You’re in my world now.”

  Chapter 15

  Come play with us, Emma. You’re the new kid. New kids always go first.

  I don’t want to play. I want to go home.

  Come sit in a circle. It’s circle time. If you don’t follow the rules, you’ll make it bad for all of us.

  I want to stay at the window. I want to watch for my Daddy.

  Your Daddy’s not coming. They never do. We’re your family now.

  No, you’re not!

  You’re going to be with us for a long time, Emma. Maybe till you’re grown up. You’ll see. You need us. The grownups think they run it here, but they don’t. We’re your brothers and sisters now.

  I don’t have any brothers and sisters. Only my mommy and daddy. And they’re coming for me.

  No, they’re not. Someone did something bad. That’s why they’re not coming.

  I didn’t do anything bad! Rachel did! My daddy loves me. Rachel lied and that’s why the lady took me away.

  Your daddy hurt you. He can’t find you here. You’ll get used to us. Sometimes it’s fun here.

  I don’t want to have fun. I want to go home!

  You are home, Emma. We’re your family now.

  Chapter 16

  Adam rolled down the window and felt the hot wind in his face. The highway snaked ahead in a black ribbon that looked like it went all the way to Montana. Tugg took the first exit and headed south.

  “Highway 95 — so we’re not going to Boise?”

  “Not really,” Tugg replied. “We’ll go south about fifty miles, then cut back into Oregon. Off the main drag.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s the next thing.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Ashland.”

  “Why?”

  “I already told you.”

  It was no use pushing. When Tugg got into “mission mode” he could be such a pain in the ass; act now, explain later. For now Tugg seemed to know where he was going and that suited Adam just fine. Getting out of Ontario in a hurry probably made sense. If they could triangulate a cell phone call off a local tower he was cooked. Plus he needed some time to deal with the shock waves he’d been pushing back all morning. Emma was lost to the system and he was a fugitive from justice. Somehow he had to work through all that and get her back. But why drive all the way to Ashland? Was that the best place to start? Was that where Emma was? But how would Tugg know that?

  “Look Tugg, we’ve got to make a plan.”

  “I’ve got one.”

  “To get Emma back?”

  “Yeah.”

  Adam could feel the bow string shift in his shoulders. He put his foot up on the dash. Let’s get to it then. Let’s hear it. Adam decided to start the questioning from an oblique angle.

  “Where did you get the truck?”

  “Friends.”

  “I thought you always rode alone?”

  “I do. I did. I used to.” Tugg lit a cigarette and held it out the window.

  The road was a bit bumpier than the highway, but Adam guessed that Tugg was keeping the speed down for other reasons.

  “What do you mean, Tugg? Are these friends I would know?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they’re outlaw bikers. I just met ’em.”

  Adam just looked at Tugg. People you’d just met would lend you a truck? More likely he’d traded his motorcycle for it.

  Tugg finished his cigarette and lit another. He kept looking straight down the road.

  Adam willed his mouth shut long enough that the silence became a question.

  “Look, Adam, the motorcycle isn’t gone, okay? I had to sign the title over to an outlaw motorcycle club so I could start the plan to get Emma back. Getting the truck was only the first step. There’s a lot more. If this all works out, it can lead us to Emma. But it won’t be easy.” Tugg finally looked over at Adam. “How much do you want to know?”

  “All of it.”

  Tugg flicked his cigarette out the window and put both hands on the wheel.

  “But why would you join an outlaw motorcycle club to get Emma back? That doesn’t make sense.”

  This was the plan? This was what he’d been waiting to hear?

  “I haven’t joined yet. Joining is a process. I’m a ‘prospect.’ It’s like being on probation. That’s where I’ve been going every day on those rides in Portland. Their main clubhouse is in Forest Grove. The one in Ontario is just an affiliate. There’s another one in Ashland. Before you become a member you’ve got to hang around the club for a while. Meet all the members. Then, if it all works out, they invite you to become a prospect.
That’s what happened to me before we left Portland. But then you’ve got to do shit for them. Chores and the like. You’ve got to earn your way up. And you’ve got to sign the title of your bike over to them. If you make it, you get your patch and you’re a full member. If you don’t, they keep your bike.”

  Adam’s head was spinning. None of this made sense. Could Tugg even pull it off? He wasn’t a joiner. Other than himself, Adam couldn’t name one of Tugg’s friends.

  “I still don’t get the biker club. What does that have to do with finding Emma?”

  The terrain had flattened as they skimmed along the high mesa. Hot sun and tumbleweeds.

  “Look, Adam, you can’t expect to just go in there like Butch and Sundance and find your daughter. Where would we even start? You need a network. You need resources. And you need information.”

  “OK but still. If we’re going to find Emma, maybe we should start with where she is. Do you even know that yet? No, so I say —”

  “I went to see Lisa Castro,” said Tugg.

  “You what?”

  “It didn’t work. I tried to get her to let me be Emma’s foster parent. This was all before the court hearing. She wouldn’t let me do it. She kicked me out. But I learned something really important on the way out.”

  “What?”

  Tugg looked over at him. “That becoming a member of the club could help us find Emma.”

  Adam shook his head. Not this game again.

  “Tugg, spit it out, willya?”

  Tugg looked straight ahead.

  “Listen, Adam, a motorcycle club is a lot more than what you see on the outside. There are a lot of people associated with it. Some are women. They aren’t patch members. They’re usually the ‘old lady’ of one of the patch members. But they’re every bit as committed to the club as the men are. They ride along with them, on the back. They take care of the club. In some sense, they’re the property of the club. But they’ve usually got a life outside too. They have jobs. They’re the earners. They’re out in society, and you probably wouldn’t even recognize them.”