The Darkest of Dreams

by Emigh Cannaday

  “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

  “As long as you and I are connected, you’ll be forever in harm’s way.” An expression of sheer disgust and revulsion entered Talvi’s eyes. “I saw what Stephan let those vampires do to you. If I wasn’t leaving for work, I’d make a career out of seeking vengeance for what he did…although it wouldn’t have happened if not for me. I’ve brought nothing into your life but danger and ruin.”

  “You’re exaggerating. That’s not true,” she argued. Talvi bit down on his bottom lip and drew in a sharp breath.

  “Yes it is. It’s painfully true. You’ve been attacked again and again by vampires, you’ve been kidnapped and had your mind erased and your body altered, and now you’re cursed to live centuries longer than all of your family and friends. I’ve caused you to get arrested and lose your job and your independence, along with neglecting you when you needed me the most…and now you’re physically bonded to someone whom you had no romantic interest in beforehand. And whilst I’m on the subject of romance, Finn pointed out a very keen observation about us. He said that having a prophecy about marrying you one day stole all of the romance out of our courtship.” The faintest growl rose up from his chest before turning into a sarcastic laugh. “Does that sum things up properly?”

  Annika closed her eyes and sighed, then sat up a little straighter in her chair.

  “Okay, so you fucked that up a little bit, but—“

  “A little bit?”

  “Okay, so you fucked up a lot, but it was only because you were trying to keep me safe,” she pointed out. “You took me to Paris because you didn’t want Danny treating me like a guinea pig—neither did I. It’s just that your plan went horribly wrong because you forgot that I’m not human anymore. But you’ve brought a lot of good things into my life, too. You fixed up James’s house more than enough to cover what I owed him for bills, and you finally convinced me to focus on my music full-time instead of working a shitty job that I didn’t really need just so that I could prove a point. You helped me finish my album. That was a pretty huge deal. And yeah, maybe I wasn’t expecting to outlive my friends and my family after being turned into some kind of mutant-wood nymph-hybrid-elf chick, but I’m getting used to it.”

  Talvi stifled a laugh as she went on.

  “My family and friends all like you, and that’s saying something since they weren’t invited to our wedding. I know things got off to a rough start, but from the way I see it, they can only get better. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you ever since you got released from prison, so don’t tell me that you’ve been avoiding me because you care so much about my happiness. If you really cared, you would’ve returned my calls a lot sooner!”

  “What do you mean? How many times did you ring me?”

  “I don’t know,” Annika huffed. “Twenty? I sent you a letter too. I even sealed it with a kiss.”

  Talvi shook his head in hopeless frustration, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “Don’t you understand? It can’t get better! Even if I were to leave my position, I still have plenty of enemies. That makes them your enemies as well, and I have a history of being unable to protect you from them. Here I was so grateful to have married in secret because I thought it would guard your identity and keep you safe, and now there’s not a single province left in the Empire that hasn’t heard your name and seen your face, thanks to all the scandal that’s been in the papers. And that is also my fault! So when I speak of compartmentalizing things, you, my little dove, are at the very top of that list! That’s why I’ll never be anything other than friends with you. That’s why you ought to find your happiness with someone else, even if it’s my very own brother. The worst thing that could ever happen to you with him around is a bloody fucking paper cut! Don’t you see? You’re a thousand times safer with the Sanctorum Militum at your side and an ocean between us than you will ever be with me! That’s why I told you not to visit!”

  He pushed his chair back to its original place across from her and flagged down their server. And in the meantime, all Annika could do was keep her mouth shut and try not to do the first thing that came to mind, which was to call him an asshole and burst into tears. She knew that there was a reason why he was acting this way, and it probably had to do with having too much time to think. He’d had too much time to dwell on the inability to prevent things beyond his control. If she argued with him anymore, she’d just push him further behind the wall that he’d placed between them. She tried not to replay their conversation over and over in her head, but she couldn’t help coming back to one particular thing that he’d said in the midst of it—he’d called her his little dove.

  “Tiramisu or gâteau de mille-feuilles?” he asked her when their server arrived.

  “What?”

  “For dessert. Which one would you like? I’ll have it boxed up and you can take it with you back to the hotel.”

  All she could do was stare at him in silence. Part of her was defeated and hurt, yet a smaller part still flickered with hope. Her mind was a tangled mess with trying to read between the lines of their entire conversation that she couldn’t answer such a simple question like what to have for dessert. His argument was too overwhelming to fully register. She wanted more than anything for him to be lying. The trouble was that he believed it to be the truth. Deciding on a dessert seemed like a pointless thing to have an opinion about. As if he already knew this, he opted for one of each and then took out his wallet, taking care to count out enough bills to cover the checks for the two tables.

  “Where to, Mr. Marinossian?” asked Adams when he brought up a map of London on the car’s GPS.

  “To the hotel, although I’d appreciate it if you could drop me off at home since it’s on the way,” Talvi said while handing Annika the boxed-up desserts. “Do you need the address?”

  “No sir; we’ve been there before,” Adams replied. Talvi once again busied himself with his phone, and seemed to have nothing left to say. The moment the car started moving, Annika started to panic. This was definitely not how the evening was supposed to end…not after an exquisite dinner that felt like a year’s worth of marriage therapy crammed into less than two hours. She couldn’t go to bed early after an unresolved heart-to-heart like that. Her pulse began to race faster and faster until the car came to a stop in front of an elegant building on the West End.

  “What time does your flight leave tomorrow?” he asked as he opened his door. Annika blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

  “Not till late. Can I use your bathroom? I have to pee.”

  “We’re only five or ten minutes from the hotel,” said Tripp.

  “I can’t make it that long!” she yelped, and scrambled out the door as quickly as she could. Ignoring Talvi’s curious expression, she hustled along with him through the doors to his building, up the elevator, and down the long red carpet that ran down the hall. In her haste, she’d accidentally brought her desserts with her. When he took out his keys and put his hand on the doorknob, he hesitated to turn it.

  “Wait here,” he said under his breath, and nudged Annika a few feet to the side of the door. There was a look of warning in his eyes, and he silently turned the knob and pushed the door open before venturing into the apartment. Light flooded into the hall, and then Annika heard the muffled sounds of someone moving things in another room.

  Finally Talvi reappeared at the doorway, beckoning her with a polite smile to come inside. As the door closed behind her, she studied the minimalist decor and the streamlined, elegant furnishings. There was a simple richness to it, as though a Hollywood starlet from the silver screen had been the inspiration for the wallpaper and drapes and crystal light fixtures. It was nothing like the mishmash of eclectic styles that made up Annika’s home, or the old world comforts of Talvi’s home. In fact, there was relatively little evidence that he lived here at all.

  “Who’s place is this?” she asked and set her desserts on the kitchen counter. “Is
it Merriweather’s?”

  “It is,” he said after a long pause. “The loo’s around the corner. Go through the living room and it’s the second door to the right.”

  Annika stayed in the bathroom as long as she dared, trying to glean anything she could about Talvi’s current living conditions. From the look of things, he clearly hadn’t planned on bringing her back to the apartment. There were a few short hairs lying on the bottom of the sink, and his straight razor was sitting off to the side near the soap dish. His toothbrush and other personal items were sitting out, although there was no sign of Merriweather’s presence. No makeup or perfume or anything that would indicate she shared this bathroom or anything else with her long-time partner. Annika returned to the kitchen to see him sipping a glass of water while waiting patiently for her.

  “I’m not ready to go back to the hotel yet,” she said, and leaned against the counter. “Let’s stay up and talk some more. If I get tired, I can always sleep on the couch.”

  “Why would you want to sleep on the sofa when I’ve already booked you one of the best rooms in London?”

  A hurt frown fell upon Annika’s face.

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  Talvi’s mouth pressed into a flat line and he gazed at the counter before resting his eyes on her figure again.

  “Not particularly. However, I don’t want to give you the wrong idea if you stay.”

  “Which idea did you have in mind?” she teased. “You’re the king of wrong ideas.”

  The edge of Talvi’s mouth twitched itself into a grin.

  “I thought I was the King of the Douche Lords. Isn’t that the official title you’ve bestowed upon me?”

  “Well, if I had a friend who flew all the way across the country just to hang out with me, I think it would be rude to ask them to leave,” Annika said. “I’m just asking for a few more hours. Didn’t you say you were going out of town soon? Or was that a lie?”

  “It wasn’t a lie.”

  “Should I tell Tripp and Adams that they don’t have to wait up for me?”

  Talvi narrowed his eyes, trying to decide what to say. Finally, he sighed as if he’d been defeated.

  “If that’s truly what you want.”

  Annika grinned as she took out her phone.

  “It is.”

  22

  At Long Last

  It took a few moments for Annika to realize exactly where she was when she woke up in a strange bed still wearing her little black dress. She wasn’t at the hotel, because everything in the room smelled like Talvi. His scent permeated the room to the point that she nearly expected to find him lying next to her when she rolled over. Instead, the large bed was all hers. She remembered him handing her a glass of port and then putting on a movie. She vaguely recalled trying to lean on his shoulder when her eyelids grew heavy from the booze and jet lag, only to have him get up from the sofa and leave the room. He’d returned a few minutes later and guided her to his bed, then left her there…alone.

  She checked the time on her phone. It was three-thirty in the morning. If she was still going by Portland time—and she was—it was way too early to be in bed, and if she was going by London time then it was much too early to be awake. Rolling her eyes, she went to set her phone back on the nightstand and missed. It fell onto the carpet with a soft thump. When she leaned over to retrieve it, it wasn’t there. Rolling her eyes again, she climbed out of the covers and reached under the bed. Her hand struck a sizable stash of books, which seemed like a strange place to keep them in the first place. Turning on the lamp, she quickly found her phone, but curiosity had found her, and she began to pull out one title after another.

  Her eyes narrowed in perplexed interest as she examined each cover. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, Getting the Love You Want, The Five Love Languages, Deeper Dating, and How to be an Adult in Relationships were now scattered around her from where she was sitting on the floor. They couldn’t be Merriweather’s books…could they? Then again, if they were hers they’d be sitting on the bookshelf in the living room. And even if she didn’t want visitors to see them, they’d be tucked away in her own room, not shoved under the bed of her guest room. On top of that, the covers weren’t dusty in the slightest, which meant they hadn’t been under the bed for very long, either. Or maybe they’d been under there for a while but they weren’t dusty because someone was constantly flipping through them.

  Annika smiled to herself as a little burst of warmth rose up in her chest. Maybe that was why Talvi had stood up and left her alone on the couch before putting her to bed—to give his room a once-over before inviting her into it. Intrigued by his unexpected taste in reading material, Annika tossed each book onto the blankets before settling back under the covers. In all her life, she’d never cracked the spine of a book on relationships or personal growth. Now she couldn’t get enough of the content while she flipped furiously through the pages. It seemed every single chapter was imparting a wealth of knowledge and insight that she’d never thought to consider. Or if she had considered it, she’d forgotten to apply it to a lot of people in her life, including one particular elven man. Every now and then she’d find a passage highlighted in bright yellow marker, or notes made in the margins. She quickly recognized her husband’s handwriting, and each scribbled note made her grin wider than the last.

  Embrace your true self.

  Don’t be too quick to judge.

  Give the benefit of the doubt.

  Don’t give your partner the silent treatment.

  Make sure to have good sex. This one was underlined, which made her smile.

  Be honest about money.

  Respect each others’ love language. This one made her snort out loud.

  It’s fine to argue. Just remember to move on.

  Make-up sex works. Have more of it. This note was underlined twice.

  Annika read for hours, until the glow underneath the window blinds grew from dark blue to the palest shade of grey. When she checked the time on her phone again it was seven-thirty. That seemed like a reasonable time to get out of bed. Besides, Talvi might already be awake and getting ready for work. After stopping by the bathroom, she caught sight of him curled up in a thick blanket on the white sofa. The curtains were drawn shut and the living room lamps had been left on. Judging by the slow rise and fall of the thick, puffy blanket, Talvi was clearly still asleep and had no intention of waking up anytime soon.

  Annika stepped into the kitchen in hopes of scrounging up a cup of coffee, taking care not to make any noise. Finding nothing but a kettle and an abundance of Earl Grey, she found herself willing to make an exception. It might not have been as satisfying as a strong cup of coffee with sugar and cream, but it was still a reliable source of caffeine. Talvi hadn’t mentioned what time he left for work in the morning, although she didn’t want him running late either, so she decided to make him a cup as well. After pouring two mugs, she added a little honey and a bit of lemon to his. She had no idea which amount of either ingredient he preferred, but she hoped it was enough to be a pleasant surprise when she offered it to him.

  “Talvi,” she barely whispered to him from behind the sofa. Nothing. Trying not to spill his hot tea, she walked around to the front of the sofa and stood between him and the coffee table. “Talvi,” she hissed louder. Nothing. Undeterred, she leaned down and gently rested her hand on what she thought was his shoulder. “Ta—”

  Suddenly the comforter erupted into a ferocious beast. It moved too fast for her to see it strike. A hand latched onto her forearm, then gave it a sharp twist that sent her flying backwards. Instead of hitting the ground, her heel caught the edge of the coffee table as she went flying over it. Then she was on the floor, cowering to protect herself as he stood over her with a terrible expression on his face. His nostrils flared and his eyes were wild with a level of unstable and reckless danger that she’d never seen in him before. His teeth were bared like a vicious animal. Every one of his muscles was tensed up an
d brimming with adrenaline, and the sight of him in such a state made the hair on the back of her neck stand straight up. Flashbacks of fighting his doppelgänger flickered from the dark depths of her memory, and she formed her right hand into a tight fist, preparing to defend herself again if necessary. Talvi’s face transformed into an expression of horror as he realized what had just happened. He blinked and shook his head, then took a step back, and then another one.

  “My gods—I’m…I’m so sorry!” he panted in a broken whisper. As he stared down at her, he looked like he was about to cry. “Are you hurt?”

  “I don’t think so,” she answered from her place on the floor. She relaxed her protective fist, then sat up and tugged her dress back into place. Tripp had warned her about this—about touching Talvi without warning, and now she realized that his advice wasn’t of the overprotective variety. She rubbed her left wrist in her hand and tried not to wince. He’d twisted it pretty hard, although she was hesitant to mention it. What would be the point of rubbing it in when he already looked absolutely devastated by his actions?

  For the first time since clamping eyes on him, Annika saw Talvi for what he truly was. He was powerful and magnetic, and his charm had made her forget that at the root of it all, he was dangerous. He’d worn a lifetime of different masks; not only to blend in with his surroundings, but also to shield the world from his deepest vulnerabilities. He could pretend to have manners and refinement, yet underneath it all he was as savage and fierce as any predatory creature. He was the noble and cunning wolf that had been captured, humiliated, and abused. No wonder he’d bitten the hand that tried to feed him.

  Annika could practically see the emotional fulcrum that his mental balance was teetering on. She needed to distract him before he lashed out again or walled himself off any further into the abyss of self-loathing that he’d recently escaped. She cleared her throat, taking care not to look directly into his eyes. Instead, she focused on the waistband of the single article of clothing he wore—a pair of black boxer briefs.