by Elle Luckett
I nodded. I wanted that version of the future, and I wanted him, but I was still scared, and now with the sadness hinting around the edges of his mood, I was terrified of his family coming after the fragile thing we’d only begun to build.
I woke with a start in the strange bed, the phone on the nightstand ringing in an unfamiliar tone. Before I could reach for it, the bed jostled, and a warm body pressed against my back while an arm reached out, and a very masculine hand picked up the receiver.
“Yeah?” Asher paused, listening. “Wonderful. Thank you.” When he hung up the phone, he dropped his lips against the top of my arm then replaced it with his scratchy chin. “Wake up call. I figured you’d want to be up early to beat your mini-me.”
Glancing at the clock, I noted that it was four-thirty in the morning.
“She gets up early, Asher, but not this early.”
“Maybe, but I have an appetite in the morning.”
Hooking my leg over his hip as he said it, his erection nudged against my aching sex before his hands made their way back up my thigh to awaken me with gentle teasing. One finger slipped between my folds and pressed against the bundle of nerves already twitching in arousal, and I struggled to catch my breath. We’d fucked three times before we’d fallen asleep two hours ago. I was tender and aching, but it only loaned me more enthusiasm to wake up to him like this.
“This time,” he said tenderly. “I want to make love to you.”
“Yes, please.”
Heat flooded my body as his finger circled slowly, nudging and flicking until I was wet enough for his fingers to slide down and open me. He pushed inside, two of his fingers accompanying his cock, dragging a groan from me. I felt full, overfull, but the added friction of his fingers as he made slow strokes inside me had the world flashing in iridescent colors. Asher grunted his approval when my head fell against his shoulder, and again when I reached around me, adding to his pleasure and stroking him as he made slow, sensual love to me.
Our lips met in a deep erotic kiss when I turned my head, seeking him out. Though the kiss turned heated and needy, Asher kept his pace slow, the friction between us licking like flames. I felt every stroke of his fingers and cock, the satin feel of him sliding against my fingers earned me a quiet hiss when I made my way down to his balls. He was sensitive there—a lesson I’d learned long ago and still found true when I petted them gently. He jerked, thrusting harder and deeper, biting down on my bottom lip in a warning.
The sound in his throat turned to a purr when I stroked with my thumb, his thrusts coming harder and faster until he rolled me on my stomach, removed his fingers and drove into me as though his life depended on it. This hadn’t been my intention. I’d enjoyed the slow pulsating rock of him inside me when I was as sensitive as I was. I savored the brush of his breath on my shoulder as he kissed and nipped my skin. I would always love the weight of his body against me as he pleasured us both, but this feral need to take me, the way his body flattened against me, his legs forcing mine farther apart as his body crashed and ground into me was everything I’d needed.
The sound of our bodies coming together mingled with the moans and grunts that fell from us. The same fire I’d felt that first time rose in me like an inferno, exploding when I felt the sting of his hand slapping against the rugburn I’d managed to worsen over the night. The pain crested over my head like a wave and drowned me, forcing my face into the pillow as I cried out.
More.
I wanted more.
More pain.
More sex.
More Asher.
More fire.
Asher gave me everything. His nails found the raw skin of the burns on my back, fingers digging into the bruises on my hips where he’d made imprints the night before. Sex rolled into fucking, teeth biting, while he pounded into me so deeply, I wasn’t sure where I began or ended.
Biting on the pillow, I pushed back against him in a challenge. The new angle had him brushing against the spot that his finger loved to pet inside of me, and the claw of my climax awoke with a scream.
“Asher.”
“Come, baby. Come now.”
My elbows pressed into the mattress below me as I set myself free. I used them to raise my body and push back in a thrust of my own as I gripped around him and came. Asher’s bark of surprise was joined by the pulse of him inside me as he released. As much as I’d wanted to forget about Asher Morris over the years, some things stuck. Pulling him over the edge with me had always been a trick I’d loved to use with him, and knowing it still worked made my own orgasm all the more powerful.
I collapsed into the mattress, hips still high, enjoying the feel of him softening inside me. One last squeeze around him had his body collapsing with a satisfied sigh between pants of breath.
“Jesus. I forgot you liked to do that.” He grunted the words out as he blanketed my body, his weight on his knees and forearms as he hovered. “It’s why I liked to tie you up so goddamn much.”
I hummed out my agreement. “I like being tied up.”
“Good. I have plans for you.”
Asher pushed up from me, and he perched over my ass when I turned my head on the pillow to watch him. Surveying my back, he smiled softly and fingered the raw skin from the burns he’s exacerbated during our morning sex.
“We should clean you up a bit. I have something that will ease that.”
“I want to keep it for a while. It’ll remind me of all this while I have my clothes on.”
“Is that right?”
I smiled in the form of an answer. My eyes sliding closed as he drew circles around the areas that stung the most. I’d always been a sucker for someone playing with my back. Pressing more of his weight on my ass, Asher raked his nails over the sensitive flesh, making me squirm in discomfort.
“Hey!”
“I want you to feel that and remember this.” He shuffled down to straddle my thighs and locked them into place before bringing his palm down on the raw skin of my ass, making me yelp again. “Every time you sit down today, think about me and what I plan on doing to you in that club tonight.”
“I’m working tonight.”
Asher brought his hand down again harder, spreading the heat that should have been well and truly sated through me once again. The alpha male in him had woken up, and he’d roused the subservient in me.
“Let’s try that again, kitten.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Pressing his thumb between my ass cheeks, he found my anus and pressed against the muscle there. “If I request to play with you tonight, will you consent?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He pressed his thumb deeper into the muscle, stretching it around the tip of his thumb in reward.
“If I ask you to come back with me to my rental after, will you consent?”
My mind was so focused on his thumb, and the delicious heat that rolled around inside my body that I almost lied to him. “I—I can’t. Saturday mornings belong to someone else.”
Asher eased the pressure of his thumb and sighed softly. My eyes flickered open but found him leaning forward, and my smile came quickly when his lips brushed my shoulder and were replaced by his cheek.
“Of course,” he said the two words sweetly. “I wasn’t thinking.”
My laugh came out as a hum. “Yes, you were. Just not with your head.”
“If I had my way, I would be buried inside of you all night long, and most of the day. I just need to adapt that a little.”
“Maybe next week. She doesn’t come in on gym days. Momma does the drop off in the mornings for me.”
“But—”
“No camp today.”
“Can I come over early then?”
“If you circle around and pick up some lattes and donuts, you’ll win the whole family over.”
Asher rose, kissing my jaw. “Then why don’t we get you cleaned up in the shower.”
“I can get me cleaned up in the shower,” I countered, knowing very well t
hat I would inevitably be late home if we both got in.
“Good point, but I’m looking after that ass and back when you get out.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I barely had time to change and fall into my bed when Ashleigh came padding into my room. She had Sven tucked under one arm. Her long hair was escaping her bedtime braid, and Sully from Monsters, Inc. smiled at me from her belly.
I pulled the covers back, and she crawled in still half asleep, burrowing into my body with a satisfied sigh as she dozed. I lulled her into sleep by stroking her hair and humming one of the dozen princess songs I now had memorized from hours worth of listening. I wanted to make the most of these quiet moments together. Once the doorbell rang and she saw Asher, I would be forfeited for the day—something I actually relished considering she hadn’t stopped talking about him while he’d been gone.
Watching her sleep and spending so much time staring at Asher, I could see more of him in her. She had his eyes, but she also had his chin and a similar tip to her bottom lip. She was beautiful, a concentration of the best parts of us both. I missed her baby years. As she matured, she lost the cupid bow of her lips and the soft roundness of her face. I also suddenly hated that Asher had missed seeing all of that, and I swore to dig out her scrapbooks while he was here. I wanted him to see it all. Experience it all, even if it was through videos and photographs.
I was almost dozing myself when the bell finally rang, and the little angel in my arms began to stir.
“Guess who that is, baby,” I whispered, pushing her hair back from her face.
She whimpered a little as I pulled her against my chest and slid to the edge of the bed.
“Momma?”
“Morning, baby. There’s someone at the door.”
“Who, Momma?”
I set her down on her feet and plucked Sven from her arms before nodding toward the front door. I could see Asher’s face through the glass, and one small turn and Ashleigh saw him too, taking off at a dead run and swinging from the handle of the door in a worrying attempt to open it.
“Baby—”
“Momma, open the door.”
“I’m trying, sugar, but you—” I angled around her, flicking the deadlock and the top lock we’d installed when she’d figured out how to open the door. Still hanging onto the handle, she opened it and gripped tightly as it swung open, with a jubilant cry of victory. Then she released it and was wrapped around Asher’s legs in a breath. He barely had time to hand me the tray of coffee and box of donuts before she was jumping up for him to catch her.
“You’re here,” she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and planting her cheek against his. “I missed you, Asher.”
“I missed you, too, pumpkin. Your momma told me there was no camp today.”
“Nope. No gym.”
“I thought maybe the three of us could hang out. Go to the zoo?”
“Yes, please,” Ashleigh squealed then turned her big blue eyes on me. “Can we, Momma. Please. Please?” The last please dragged out so long, I met Asher’s eyes over the top of her head. He’d wanted to go to the lawyer’s today, and I gave him a quizzical look.
“I don’t see why we can’t, sugar.” Ashleigh squirmed out of his arms and hightailed it into the house before I could say anything else. We both watched her go before Asher leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, taking the coffee and donuts back from me.
“Morning. Again.”
“I thought we were doing the lawyer thing today.”
“Have you spoken to your lawyer?”
“Not yet,” I admitted, glancing at the vintage clock hanging over the small utility cubby by the front door. “It’s barely after seven.”
“They should be open. Call, and if they’re not open yet, leave a message. We can swing by after the zoo.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You already set it up with your lawyer. They’re going to bully Dillon into it, aren’t they?”
“Not bullying. Just persuasion. I’m motivated to get this done and filed.”
I understood his drive. I was as motivated as he was to ensure his family wouldn’t have the chance to mess with Ashleigh’s head the way they had done with Asher. Still, I’d been an independent woman for years, and I was more than capable of arranging an appointment with my lawyer without the aid of Asher.
“Listen, Asher, I understand that you want to get this done. I want it in place, too, and I want you here in our lives, but I’ve looked after Ashleigh and myself for years. I’ve built a life for us, and you have to understand that you can’t just come in and take over. It doesn’t work like that. It’s going to take some time.”
“I’m not undermining you. My lawyer is a shark and suggested he take care of it. I’m not trying to take over or control how you do things, I promise.”
The earnestness in his eyes shone, and I lost myself in the blue again.
“Thank you.”
Asher brushed his lips over my cheek and tapped the area of my ass that was raw, making me hop forward and squeak.
“You’re welcome.”
I was sure he would have said more than that, taken another taste of the pain he’d inflicted so deliciously. Unfortunately, my mother chose that moment to shuffle into the kitchen with a full face of makeup, wearing a sundress. All thoughts of anything else were lost as she grinned at me with warmth and knowing, accepting the coffee handed to her. We were all lost to him now, including the hot mess of a five-year-old stumbling in with messy hair and mismatched clothes.
Ashleigh loved the Audubon Zoo, but it was as though she was seeing it for the first time while we walked around with Asher. He walked with her hand in his and read the little information boards to her while they studied every animal. If he didn’t have the answer to one of her thousand questions, he would look it up on his phone and show her any pictures he found. Watching them together was a balm for my soul. Ashleigh had no idea who he was to her, but the way she embraced him, studied his face when he spoke to her, and smiled at his silliness, told me she was head over heels for him. He bought her a stuffed giraffe from the gift shop after they’d spent twenty minutes watching them waiting for feeding time, and she was also the proud new owner of a pink T-shirt with the zoo’s logo emblazoned on the back.
By the time we arrived back at my car, she was in his arms, dozing on his shoulder like she’d been doing it her whole life.
“You’re good with her,” I said when she went limp against him, and her mouth eased open to drag in some swampy New Orleans air.
Asher scooped my hand up in his and pressed his lips to the back of it before swinging them between us.
“I love her.” He paused as though the words surprised him. “I feel like I’ve always loved her. Every time I marvel over something she’s done, I wish we could go back and change how things happened.”
“I know that feeling.” I’d had the same thoughts several times throughout the day while watching them together. I wondered if I could have tried harder to reach him. If I should have gained his notice any way I could have and just demanded he pay attention.
“I want this, Shauna,” he said when we finally arrived at the car and he handed me my keys.
“Want what?” I unlocked the doors with the fob and opened the back for him to put Ashleigh in her seat while I started the car to get the air blowing cold.
“This. You and me and our family. Walking hand in hand.” He eased Ashleigh into her seat awkwardly but didn’t shake her awake even as he fumbled with the straps. “Zoo trips, waking up with you in my bed. Singing songs about melting snowmen I would never have understood a month ago. The ache in my cheeks from smiling so goddamn much at my girls.”
Asher pushed the door closed as he rose to his full height, his warm hands cupping my cheeks. He studied me again. I imagined what he would see there reflected his own wants. I wanted him in our lives. I wanted him in my bed. I wanted to watch him with Ashleigh for the rest of our lives, but this wasn’t somet
hing we could rush. This had to be done right for Ashleigh. She couldn’t just wake up one morning and have a father, even if she was half in love with him already. Bringing Asher into our lives had to be a process.
“We’ll get there.”
“I know.” He said it with so much confidence that I grinned at him. “I’m going to be present. I’m going to be here with you both.” He lowered his voice as his gaze flickered to the car, making sure Ashleigh was still asleep before he pressed his lips to mine, stealing a kiss. “Until I have you in my bed every night, I’m going to fuck you sore the nights you let me.”
“Jesus.”
“Just one of the names you’ll be screaming tonight, kitten.” He slapped my ass as he grinned and slipped past me to get behind the wheel. I was having trouble wrapping my head around how he balanced it all so well. There was no sign of this formidable man who got what he wanted while he was with his daughter and me. I saw hints of it in his eyes when he was studying me, but he always softened for his daughter. Having never been in a relationship since having Ashleigh, I hadn’t known what to expect. I’d put her before myself, and that felt right. I’d been doing that today, but Asher never blinked at my decisions, and he’d backed me up the only time I’d had to rein her in by removing himself from the equation. He’d understood, and he hadn’t tried to step in.
Dammit, he fit.
I slipped into the chilling car and was halfway through strapping myself in when my phone started to ring. I fumbled in my bag, trying to get to it before it disturbed Ashleigh from her nap and juggled it before managing to answer, ignoring Asher’s huff of amusement.
“Hello?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t bothered to look at the screen in my rush.
“Miss Monroe?”
“That’s me.”
“I’m Erin Strait, Dillon’s assistant. He asked that I call you and make an appointment for this afternoon. He has three slots that can be arranged today. Two, three-thirty, or six?”