by Elle Luckett
I glanced at the clock and at Asher. He hadn’t pulled out from the spot yet and watched me with one eyebrow raised.
“So two, three-thirty or six?” I repeated so he’d understand.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Two, please,” I said after Asher held up two fingers. It only gave us an hour to get there, and we’d have to take Ashleigh with us, which I’d been hoping to avoid, but he’d flashed those fingers twice, and I’d given him what he wanted.
“Wonderful. We’ll see you at two, Miss Monroe.”
“Thank you, Erin.” I hung up the phone and turned in my seat, pointedly staring at the sleeping child in the backseat. “If we’d taken three-thirty, I could have asked my mom to watch her.”
“If we’d taken the three-thirty, we could have missed the deadline to file.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why are you so adamant about getting this filed today?”
He started backing the car from the slot and waved to the SUV driver, waiting for the spot before pulling away. He checked the mirror, but not for any vehicles. He was making sure Ashleigh was still asleep.
“I don’t want to take risks with either of you. I want to make sure all of this is in place for peace of mind.”
“A weekend won’t make that much of a difference.”
“A weekend could make a world of difference, Shauna. You don’t think my father has friends in high places who can be motivated to get things done? My mother can get anything she wants from her little ladies group, and my sisters are married to men who have influence in, not only the world my parents have built for themselves, but the world outside of that, too. They’re sharks, waiting for the scent of blood, and I won’t be throwing chum in the water for them to circle.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Asher glanced in the mirror at Ashleigh again before he pulled out into traffic and headed toward downtown.
“My ex-wife was picked out for me.”
My lips pressed together at the mention of his ex. The woman who had warmed his bed all the years we’d been apart. It was petty and pure jealousy, but I didn’t like her on that principle alone. The look on Asher’s face told me it was the tip of a giant iceberg.
“How bad?” I asked.
“That night you saw her and me together? It wasn’t… I wasn’t…” He growled and scratched his beard as he pulled up at a red light. “She pissed me off, got me good and mad, and the result was angry sex that I regretted the moment it was over. Her personality isn’t one that meshed with mine.”
“She’s a Domme?”
“No.” Asher shook his head and glanced over at me. “In theory, I suppose, but in her mind, she wouldn’t lower herself to that kind of a label. To her, she was just a motivated woman. Assertive and a ball-buster if you will. She wanted control of me, and through me, the family money, and I wouldn’t give it to her. I couldn’t. She read me wrong because she caught me in a weak moment, and we were announcing the engagement before either of us could stop it.”
“Are you saying she was told to get you on board?”
“No, baby. She was told to get me into bed and seal the deal. It was all set up, but any kind of intimacy between us gave my mother the ammunition to both guilt and cajole me. Our families did business together, and this could ruin centuries of partnership. It’s stupid. I was stupid. I saw the trap, and I walked right into it.”
“Because of me?”
“No.” Shaking his head, he reached for my hand. “No. If I’d have gone after you instead of talking myself out of it because my fucking ego was bruised, I wouldn’t have been in that position to begin with. Naiomi had been circling for years. Every event, party and celebration, she was there, invited by my parents. I saw it, but I was too in love with you to allow her to get her claws in. The fact that it pissed my parents off was an added bonus.”
“So, they had her throwing herself at you for years?”
“The summer after my college graduation, I came home from the club one night, and she was in my bed, naked.”
“I thought things like that only happened in the movies. What did you do?”
“She told me she was a virgin and wanted me to be her first. I was young. I’d only been a member of Stigmata for six months or so, but I saw through her. Her first mistake was lying to me. If she was a virgin then I was a saint.”
Asher hated liars. That I was honest with him was the first rule he’d given me. The one rule he enforced with any level of negative emotion. Lies fertilized distrust and ruined the foundation of any interaction. You couldn’t build on a shaky foundation. So, liars became vague acquaintances for him, never fully earning his trust. It was an edict I’d always maintained. It was also why I’d tried so damn hard to tell him I was pregnant.
“After that, I brushed her away like a persistent fly at a picnic. I didn’t have time for her. I didn’t want to make time for her. I feel she’s the reason there was no letter, no way for you to contact me. I… I told her about you that night when I tried to get rid of her.”
“You think she knows about the pregnancy?”
Asher nodded. “She’s worse than my family and more motivated to hurt me than both of my sisters. If they go to her, she’ll tell them everything she knows. I have to be sure all of this is in place before that happens. That’s why I had my lawyer add a clause that would ensure Naiomi would have no way to touch you or Ashleigh.”
“You could have told me that.”
“And remind you that I betrayed you in a weak moment? I wanted you back, baby. Omission seemed the best course of action until I had to explain all of this to you.”
I pressed my lips together, anger rising at a woman I’d never met before, and never wanted to meet. How fucked up did you have to be to work so hard at hurting someone that badly?
“Could she have made a claim for Ashleigh?”
“I don’t know—probably not—but I don’t want to give her the opportunity. I am stripping her of all rights and ensuring she hasn’t got a leg to stand on. The law is fuzzy enough that she could make problems simply out of spite, just to hurt us both.”
“Hurt me?”
“You’re a bullheaded woman, Shauna Iona Monroe.”
“Excuse me?”
“I love you, kitten. I didn’t stop loving you, not for a minute. Naiomi knew that better than anyone. She felt it.”
I thought about that for a moment. If the arrangement was simply so Naiomi could connect their names, why would she have been jealous? She was getting what she wanted. Unless…
“She fell in love with you?”
“She fell in love with the idea of us. She could see what it looked like to the outside world and began to believe the lie. Maybe she felt something when I wasn’t a complete asshole, but my heart was always yours, and she couldn’t forgive me. There were three people in our marriage, and she wasn’t the one who mattered to me.”
“Asher…”
“Don’t feel sorry for her. She knew what she was getting into. I told her when I put that ring on her finger. When she met me at the other end of the aisle, and again when she insisted we consummate. I never once lied to her.”
He’d stunned me into silence. I couldn’t imagine being in Naiomi’s position—being okay with the man I was marrying being in love with someone else, let alone continually telling me that he was. Had it been any other woman, I would say she had low self-esteem, but the woman he married… I’d seen her face before. I’d tortured myself studying her when one of the girls had found her name. She was a society lady who’d had the full southern experience, including the debutante coming-out ball.
Now this woman wanted to mess with my daughter.
That wasn’t going to happen on my shift.
“I guess we’re headed to the lawyers then.”
Asher squeezed my hand in his, a sad smile curling the side of his mouth as he watched the road. He drew in a breath to speak, his mouth forming the words as two legs kicked ou
t in the back seat in a sleepy stretch. I stopped him with a press of my fingers to his lips, earning a flicker of his blue eyes before they touched the mirror and slanted away.
“She’s not why I stopped you. I just didn’t want you to apologize again. This isn’t on you, Asher, and we’re going to deal with it together.”
Asher kissed the tip of my finger and nodded in agreement. If the worst came to fruition, we’d deal with it together because I loved him. I wouldn’t let him go through that again without backup. They would be messing with both of us, and I was the epitome of a momma bear when it came to those I loved.
The visit to the lawyers was painless. Erin, Dillon’s assistant, offered to take Ashleigh when we arrived, and I was dubious about leaving them alone until the toys and books were dragged out from a panel in the wall behind the woman’s desk. In the office, the two lawyers waited for us with a stenographer, video camera on a tripod, and a couple of other staff who sat in a corner taking notes. There was a lot of lawyer talk I didn’t understand, mostly exchanged between Asher’s lawyer and Dillon as they ironed out details. I recognized Asher’s lawyer from the club but said nothing as they worked, speaking only to answer the questions they threw at me in an official capacity. I felt as though I were being interrogated at times.
They asked Asher questions and answered the ones he had for them. He spoke their language, leaving me feeling like a fool as I muddled out the meaning of legal terminology. When he noticed my growing frustration, he’d lean over and explain what they were talking about and, finally receiving some clarity, I was confident Dillon was doing his best for Ashleigh and me.
The process took us ninety minutes in all, but by the end of the meeting, Asher and I had signed every document they’d put in front of us before the forms were whisked away. We’d done our part, and the lawyers dismissed us to continue whatever they needed to do.
Ashleigh was in Asher’s arms as the elevator descended. After a long, familiar, and comforting hug from me, she’d thrown herself at him with a smile of satisfaction and dropped her head to his shoulder, staking her claim again.
“That was relatively painless.”
Asher rubbed his hand over Ashleigh’s back and smiled warmly. “I like your lawyer. He’s looking out for you both.”
I’d picked up that much myself and was glad of it. Having someone to guide me along the way seemed like a smart idea. Having someone who cared about us was even better.
“I think I missed a lot of what was going on, but I agree. I felt like he was working for our best interests.”
“What’s our interests, Momma?” Ashleigh asked, her blue eyes studying my face.
Now there was a loaded question. I had no idea how to explain this to a five-year-old brain.
“It means a lot of different things, baby. Today, it means the three of us can meet with Mema and Grandpa for supper. Tomorrow, it means we can walk the swamps with your friends. On Sunday…” I tapered off and tapped my chin, making her giggle. “What do you want to do on Sunday?”
“Trampoline park,” she said without hesitation, the word coming out in a squeal. “Can Asher come, too?”
“If he has the time, absolutely, baby.”
Asher looked curious. “I want to be there, but... a what park?”
“Trampoline.” I felt the corner of my mouth curl up in humor.
“As in an actual trampoline?”
“Hundreds of them,” I confirmed, highly amused at the bewilderment he was exhibiting. “They also have little ninja courses you can run. If we go early enough, the teens won’t bother us too much, and you can show us what you’re made of.”
“Ninja course?”
“And a climbing wall, and a foam pit, and a ball pit, and a warrior justing.” Ashleigh’s blue eyes gleamed with excitement.
“Jousting,” I corrected as the doors to the elevator slid open.
“It sounds like I’m going to be up against two warrior ladies.”
“Spider-Gwen!” Ashleigh informed him as we headed to the doors, her question now long forgotten. I felt as though I’d dodged a bullet for now.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain to her that Asher was her father when the time came, but it would happen. As I watched the two of them chatting animatedly about radioactive spiders and webs, I knew he wasn’t going to be capable of walking away from her even if he and I failed together. Something I sincerely hoped wouldn’t happen.
We met my parents at Joey K’s, unable to give them much information with little ears prying, so Asher and Ashleigh told the story of our day at the zoo in tandem, bouncing off one another in perfect synchronicity. My mother met my eyes across the table while the two of them informed us how many animals were going extinct. She could see the inevitability of the future just as well as I could, and she tipped her head in question. I gave her a smile that said later, and she nodded, giving her attention back to her granddaughter and the man who was her father.
We all listened when it came time to tell us about her time with Erin in the tower. Dillon’s assistant had been more than willing to be another princess with her and sang her the songs she’d wanted to hear while exploring the fjords of the office and battling the ogre under the desk. I made a mental note to send her flowers for her time. It wasn’t every day an assistant made time for a bored kid in a stuffy office, but she’d obviously just taken it all in her stride. I guess practicing family law meant she was used to it.
I had just enough time to bathe Ashleigh and put her into bed after dinner. Asher read her a book while I took a shower and got dressed for my shift at the club. By the time I was ready, Ashleigh was almost all the way to sleep. I kissed her forehead and whispered goodnight. She mumbled that she loved me, and she said the same to Asher when he dropped a kiss on her cherubic cheek. The words made him freeze for a moment, and I forced my eyes away, giving him a moment he probably didn’t even know he needed.
With a quick goodnight and thank you to my parents, we were in my car and headed to his hotel to drop him off.
“Is it like that every day?”
“You’re going to have to be more specific.”
“Life as a parent, with Ashleigh.”
“You have good days and bad days. She’s adorable, but when she’s tired, she becomes a possessed thing ready to destroy anything in her path. She can be stubborn as a mule.” I glanced over at him as I stopped at a light. “I blame you for that.”
“I’ll take every similarity I can get.”
“I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.” I pulled away from the light, nibbling on my bottom lip for a moment before I turned under the portico of his hotel and waved away the valets who rushed forward. “Watching you with her today… I want you in her life, Asher, and I want to tell her you’re her father, but it will take time. I have no doubt that you’re going to be around. I can see you love her, but I want her to be used to having you around every day, and I want to be sure that you and I are solid before we introduce the idea of a family. I’m okay with you just being her dad if things between us don’t work out, but we need to be sure. We can’t confuse her further until we know.”
“I already know, Shauna,” he said, brushing my hair behind my ear.
“You keep saying that, but…” I stopped and let out a breath. “The dynamic between you and me is going to be different. No more hiding from the world with sex all day. I can’t bend to your will every time you ask me to because I will always put Ashleigh first. I can’t just think about myself anymore, and I’m not even saying you expect that, but I want… I need you to experience it all before you say shit like, you know.”
“I’ve never wanted a slave, and I’m certainly not thirty anymore. I want a life with you both in it. I want to be able to put her first, too. We have time, babe, but I’m not going to waste it.”
“Okay.” I could accept that much.
“Stop building walls.”
“I’m…” I almost lied to him again. “I’
m trying not to.”
“I’ll knock every one of them down.”
I huffed out an amused sound as he leaned across the car to kiss my temple.
“Go to work. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” He climbed out of the car, nodded at the valet, and strolled into the hotel as though he owned the place, glancing back only as he swept in through the doors and threw me a natural smile.
“So much for taking your time,” I mumbled to myself, as my heart tightened and released in my chest when I pulled away.
The bar was back to normal. It was the usual steady stream of Friday traffic. Kammie was with Tristan, so Zara was standing in for her, meaning Mark was perched at the shadowy end of the bar, making her nervous while she worked. She was still learning to be submissive, and though she was a natural, her instincts sometimes betrayed her, earning her a punishment she really didn’t seem sorry for.
The crowd in the bar was slowly beginning to trickle to the club floor below when Asher arrived. Some of the single subs perked up when he strolled in with Thomas, their hungry eyes roaming over the broad shoulders and perfect line of Asher’s ass as he made his way to the bar like a lion roaming his pride. He had a way of appearing as though he fit in anywhere, his confidence making him all the more attractive. I watched the subs as the two men approached the bar, amused by the lust as they spoke quietly amongst themselves. Stigmata New Orleans didn’t have many unattached Doms, and any membership transfers were willing to play the field for a while rather than settle. It was rough being single in a club like this. I’d lived that truth for years now, even turning down my fair share when I didn’t feel the connection I was longing for.
Turned out that longing was for Asher.
“Shauna?” Thomas called me down to the end of the bar, and I moved quickly, eyes on the counter’s glossy surface to keep from looking into their eyes. I was surprised when Asher dropped his bag on a stool and stepped away leaving Thomas and me alone to talk. “Asher has put in a transfer request and informed me that he would request you wear his cuffs permanently with your permission. Is this an arrangement you’re willing to accept?”