Crushing on Kate

by Theresa Paolo

  But even though he wanted to close his eyes and look away, protect his heart from what loving her could do to him, he held her gaze, let the emotions consume him and stopped fighting what he knew in his heart.

  Chapter 17

  Kate had never been so excited to teach a class before, especially since the class consisted of only one person. But seeing Caleb watch her as she took her first gathering of glass and began to shape it was hot and sexy. She’d had hundreds, maybe even thousands of people observe her over the years while she performed demonstrations, but no one ever did with such a dark, intense gaze.

  She brought the glass back to reheat it so the edges would be nice and hot, and she’d be able to roll on the little chips that would give the glass a colorful design.

  Once the glass was coated with two decent stripes of glass chips, she brought it back to the flame to melt them in. She then began the twisting process, rolling the glass along the flat metal surface.

  “I could stare at you all day,” he said with a wicked grin on his face.

  “Maybe next time you will actually try to make something.”

  “Why would I want to do that when I can just watch you?”

  “Because when I teach a class, I like for my students to be hands on.”

  He snaked his hand around her waist, resting his chin in the crook of her neck. His tongue swiped at the sensitive skin as he cupped her breast. Her nipple hardened beneath the lacy thin material of her bra.

  “Distracting a girl holding molten hot glass is against safety rule number one.”

  “Really? Number one?”

  “It is. I can show you the handbook.” Her words ended on a moan as he nibbled on her earlobe.

  “I need to reheat this,” she said, nodding toward the tip of the rod where the glass still burned a nice orange.

  “And I need you.”

  Kate stepped out of his hold and shook her head. “Nice try, but no sex until I’m done with this vase. After all, I did go bike riding with you and nearly killed myself in the process.”

  “I’d hardly call a scrape to the knee almost killing yourself.”

  “May I remind you that you were the one who thought I was dead on the trail.”

  “Please don’t. It’s bad enough it happened. The last thing I want is to remember you like that.” The hurt in his voice, the sad look in his eyes showed Kate he cared. Though she knew that he cared, she thought he might even love her, but he never confirmed it with words.

  Somewhere between the fights about the parking lot and sharing food she had fallen head over heels in love, but she kept it to herself, afraid if she told him she would scare him off. She couldn’t imagine not waking up in his arms, not coming to work and seeing that sexy smirk across the parking lot as they went their separate ways for the day. He had become a big part of her life in such a short time, so she decided that it didn’t matter whether or not they declared their love. All that mattered was being together.

  Kate stuck the glass back into the fire. “I’d like to try it again, though. Before I fell, I was having fun.” She liked that they could share their passions with each other. That both were willing to open themselves up to something different and new.

  “Considering you now own the bike, I think we can arrange for that.”

  She’d argued with Caleb that she didn’t want him to buy her the bike, but he insisted the fall caused a bit of damage to the bike, and it wasn’t something he could sell now. She’d called BS on it, but after scaring him half to death she decided not to argue any further.

  “But I think I’m going to invest in some elbow pads and knees pads for you. Maybe a suit made out of bubble wrap.”

  An amused laugh burst from Kate. “I think you might be taking it a bit far.”

  “I only want you to be safe.”

  “I think I can manage without being wrapped up like a delicate piece of glass.”

  “We’ll see,” he said with a grin that had her knees go weak.

  “By the way, my mom asked if you’d like to come to Sunday dinner.”

  “Why? I already met Mason, and we have a lot of plans set.”

  She stopped twisting the glass then continued bringing it to a sharp point while she thought over her response. Finally, she decided to just be honest. “Because you’re a part of my life, so that includes being a part of my family, too.”

  Afraid to look up at him, she focused on keeping the shape and patterning of the glass centered and symmetrical.

  “Then I’ll go,” he finally, said and she could feel her body deflate with relief.

  She looked up, catching his dark gaze. “You will?”

  “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll go.”

  That didn’t make her very happy at all. “I don’t want you to go because it’ll make me happy. I want you to go because you want to.”

  “That came out wrong. I want to go,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and washing away her doubts.

  “Maybe one day I could meet your dad,” she said and felt his body stiffen beside her.

  She loved him, but she hated how he kept that part of his life hidden. She wanted to know everything—the good, the bad, the crappy and sad, but no matter how many times she’d asked, he always managed to change the subject.

  Why was it so hard for him to open up to her?

  “That’ll never happen,” he growled.

  She put aside the piece she was working on and turned her attention to him. “Why not?”

  “I haven’t spoken to him since my brother died, and I have no intention of ever changing that.”

  “But he’s your father. The only family you have left.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Then make me understand. Please. I want to understand.”

  He was silent for a moment as he ran his hand over his face. The tension in his body built with each breath he took.

  She hated that he wouldn’t talk to her, but more than that, she hated to see the tense set of his jaw and the anger and hurt glowing in his eyes. She brought her hand to his face, running a gentle thumb across his cheek. “It doesn’t have to be today, but someday I hope you will.”

  He linked his fingers with hers, bringing her hand to his lips before drawing her body against his. His mouth came down on hers hard; this kiss was different, greedy and desperate as if he needed her more than ever.

  His hands cupped her ass as he lifted her up and brought her to a table. She hooked her legs around his waist and pressed him closer, needing him just as much as he needed her.

  ***

  Caleb sat down at old man Simpson’s kitchen table. He had no idea what to expect when he showed up at the old man’s door and knocked, but since the night he had picked him up, Caleb couldn’t stop thinking about how he was all alone in the world.

  He also wasn’t ready to go home yet. After last night and Kate asking about his father, even though he didn’t answer any of her questions, it made him remember every shitty detail about their estrangement. He didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t want to remember the betrayal. Didn’t want to remember what a person who you thought you loved was capable of.

  So, for some reason, Caleb wound up knocking on old man Simpson’s door. It had been a risk, he knew that, randomly knocking on some guy’s door that probably didn’t even remember meeting you, but Caleb was pleasantly surprised when the old man invited him in for a taste of his moonshine without any questions asked.

  “I don’t usually get many visitors,” old man Simpson said as he cleared a stack of newspapers from the table then pushed a row of beer cans into a garbage can.

  “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Caleb said.

  “I don’t mind company. Too be honest, it gets a little lonely around here.”

  “There’s plenty to do in town.”

  “Nobody wants to see me.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “I’m the drunk people like to talk ab
out, but that’s okay. I made that name for myself, and I own it. I’m too old now to try and reinvent myself.”

  “Haven’t you lived here your whole life?”

  He nodded then placed two shot glasses down on the table. “Which is why I’m tolerated.” He retrieved a mason jar with a golden liquid and poured it into the two glasses.

  “That I don’t believe. The people of this town care about you.”

  “Nobody’s cared about me for a long time.”

  Caleb knew exactly what he meant. In a weird way, they weren’t much different. But it also made him realize something. “I don’t think it’s that they don’t care; I think it’s that you won’t let them.”

  “Did you stop by here to lecture me?”

  “No, I stopped by because I know how it is to be alone, and I’m kind of getting sick of it. Thought maybe you’d be getting sick of it, too.”

  “I try not to put all that much thought into it.”

  “Maybe it’s time you did,” Caleb said with a shrug then held up the glass and examined the liquid. “Isn’t moonshine usually clear?”

  “This here is apple pie moonshine,” Bert announced proudly. “Are you done flapping your gums so we can drink?”

  Caleb laughed. He might not have instantly changed the man’s life, but he felt just being here with him he was making a difference, giving a lonely old man a companion for the day and someone to share his moonshine with.

  Caleb held his glass up. “Bottoms up,” he said before pouring the golden liquid down his throat and becoming the old man’s new official taste tester.

  Chapter 18

  Kate cuddled into Caleb’s side, loving the way his warmth wrapped around her like a blanket. Tonight, like every night before, was amazing. She had fallen completely in love with him, but she had no idea if he felt the same way.

  There was so much about him that she didn’t know. So much that he kept hidden from her. She was getting tired of tip-toeing around subjects so not to scare him off. But if he loved her, really loved her, wouldn’t he trust her enough to open up?

  She ran her finger up and down the hard muscles of his chest while he played with her hair. “Tell me something I don’t know,” she said, hoping he’d finally be comfortable enough to open up to her.

  “Like what?”

  “Anything.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  She stopped her hand on his chest and glanced up to him with an arched eyebrow. “You tell me that all the time. Besides, that’s not what I meant. Tell me something about you.”

  He pushed up from her, and she pulled the blanket around her body as he pressed his against the headboard. “I don’t know. I’ve pretty much told you everything.”

  “No, you haven’t,” she said unable to keep the bitterness from her tone. It was so hard to continue pretending that she didn’t care that he kept her at arms-length, never revealing too much about who he was. The things in his life that helped shape him into the person he was today. She wasn’t used to not knowing every detail about a person and the fact that the man she undoubtedly had fallen completely in love with refused to let her in, hurt.

  He let out an annoyed breath, his hands coming down on the mattress. “Not again.” He got up from the bed and swiped his pants off the floor.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Anywhere so I don’t have to have this conversation.”

  “What are you so afraid of?”

  He ran a tense hand through his hair. The veins in his neck bulged, and his face turned a shade of red she’d never seen before. “You want to know? You really want to know?”

  No. She was only asking to make small talk. Of course, she wanted to know. Didn’t he see that? Understand that he was denying not only her but him as well the chance to be more intimate. To share all the parts of each other no matter how unsettling they may be.

  Did he not trust her enough to open up? Did he think she wasn’t worthy enough to know his secrets?

  The frustration that had been bubbling at the surface finally exploded. “Yes! I want you to tell me! To trust me enough to tell me.” Her voice was desperate and distraught but she didn’t care. She was done tip-toeing around him afraid she might push too hard and upset him. Afraid that she’d come across as needy and insecure. She wasn’t any of those things. She was just a girl who wanted the man she loved to love her enough to be honest with her. To fill in the blanks that he kept so heavily guarded. To trust her.

  “It has nothing to do with trust; don’t pull that crap on me,” he all but growled.

  She got up on her knees and moved to the edge of the bed, reaching out for his hand, hoping that her touch would calm him. Assure him that she wasn’t trying to upset him. He didn’t reach for her and she tried to brush a way the pain that simple action caused. He was used to hiding behind a wall and his actions didn’t reflect how he felt. Refusing to let him block her out anymore she took his hand in hers and glanced up at him, letting the anger fade. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

  “Fine!” he yelled, his voice echoing through her bedroom as he ripped his hand away. “While I sat watching my brother die in a hospital bed, my girlfriend cheated on me with my own father. Is that what you want to hear? My own flesh and blood betrayed me.”

  Stunned and unable to form words, Kate stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock and her eyes wide with disbelief. Tears burned the back of her eyes as she watched the pain and anger rage through him. She wanted to comfort him, tell him that she was sorry for all that he had to endure. Assure him that she would never betray him. Never hurt him in such a horrible way.

  Instead, she sat back and let him talk because she was afraid if she touched him, uttered a single word he would close up again.

  “I thought she loved me. I was planning on asking her to marry me. So please forgive me for being skeptical. For holding back a little. For not wanting to go all in because I did that once and I got burned.”

  “I’m not her,” Kate, unable to keep quiet, said, her voice no more than a whisper.

  “Don’t you think I know that?”

  “No, because you don’t.” Kate jumped up from the bed and stood in front of him. “If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

  “I can’t do this,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

  “Do what? Talk?” He was closing up again and she didn’t know how to stop him. Didn’t know how to convince him that what they had was worth the risk.

  “No.” He waved a finger between the two of them. “Whatever this is.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I made a promise to myself a long time ago, and I got blinded by your pretty face. But I know better. Happy endings don’t exist, and I’m setting myself up for more heartache. I can’t do it again. I won’t.”

  He turned to the door, and Kate ran after him, grabbing his hand in a pathetic attempt to stop him. The problem was she had no idea how to make him realize that she wasn’t his ex-girlfriend. That she wouldn’t cheat on him or leave him. That she loved him.

  “Caleb, please don’t go.”

  He shook out of her hold and turned back, the anger and frustration fading into something else that she couldn’t quite decipher, pain, regret maybe.

  “I’m sorry, Kate,” he said before walking out the door and out of her life.

  Chapter 19

  Kate swiped away the tears pouring down her cheeks. She hated to cry, but she couldn’t seem to stop. Every time she thought she had a handle on herself another wave would smack her in the gut and send her spiraling.

  She was so mad at Caleb, but she was mad at herself, too. Maybe she could have handled things differently. Maybe she shouldn’t have pushed as hard as she did. She just wanted to know more about the man she was falling more in love with every day.

  Now that she had her answers, she didn’t feel satisfied; all she felt was sick.

  Everyone left him whether by choice or
death, it’s all he knew, so instead of allowing the chance for it to ever happen to him again, he pushed her away, cut ties before he could let himself get hurt. But didn’t he realize that she didn’t want to hurt him. All she wanted was to love him and for him to let her.

  He wasn’t a jerk. He was an idiot who was too dumb to see what was right in front of him. She wasn’t going anywhere. He could push all he wanted, but she would be there every step, showing him, proving to him that she was there to stay and that time started now.

  She grabbed her keys and ran out the door. The sun had barely made its ascent into the horizon, but Kate didn’t care. She would sit on the steps of his store and wait for him until the sun came up and he appeared.

  Which was exactly what she did. Except he never showed. Not even by the time his store was set to open. Nobody showed up. Even if Caleb was mad at her, it wouldn’t stop him from coming to work. Something was wrong and as soon as she recognized it a horrible feeling twisted her stomach into knots.

  Luckily Brianne was working today, so Kate called into her that she had to go then she raced over to Caleb’s place. She pulled up, and his car was there, but no matter how many times she knocked and pounded on his door, he never answered. She turned the knob, hoping he was like every other person in Red Maple Falls who left their door unlocked. When the knob turned, she shoved it open and ran up the stairs.

  “Caleb!” she yelled as she ran through the living room and right to the bedroom. His bed was unmade, his phone sat on top of the disheveled comforter. The clothes he’d worn yesterday thrown in a pile on the floor like he changed out of them fast and didn’t think about tossing them in the hamper that was just on the other side of the room.