Shameless

by Storm, Zee Shine

  I let out a laugh. "No problem, sis. I got you."

  "You have to be extra careful, though," Jacob chimed in. "She's getting desperate now. Before, she used to make a few appearances around the perimeter but recently, she's been showing up inside the ruins, even making herself visible to guys. I think she really wants a friend."

  I stopped in my tracks as we reached one side of the church where the lighting was very dim.

  "Wait, so there was a girl named Sierra who disappeared last year?" I asked Jacob in surprise.

  He looked around for a while before his eyes came to rest on me. "Let's not talk about her right now, okay."

  Oh, man. I didn't scare easily. In fact, I didn't get scared at all. I camped alone out in the woods all night and never got spooked. But this...tonight...the atmosphere and the unexpected, tragic news was giving me the creeps.

  What had happened to her? Why had people let her come alone to this place to meet that kind of fate? How had her family reacted to the news? Poor Sierra, whoever she had been.

  Instinctively, my arms tightened around my sister's shoulder. "Please stay close to me," I told her for the hundredth time that evening in an almost pleading voice.

  "But brother, what will people think?" she asked me in a shocked tone, mocking my earlier concerns.

  I didn't care. When it came to her safety, I didn't care anymore. She could remain glued to me for the entire evening wearing that outfit and it wouldn't make me uncomfortable as long as I knew she would be safely at home by the end of the party.

  I gave her a kiss on her temple, something which I hardly ever did and to my surprise, Aaliyah and Jacob both burst out laughing. I had to step away from Aali because she laughed so hard, she doubled over and pressed her forearms to her stomach while Jacob thumped me on the back, unable to contain his amusement. It would have made me happy because it was a rare thing to see my friend laughing in this manner but I was annoyed because it was quite clear now that they had both been pranking me. There really was no Sierra.

  Moodily, I climbed on to a wide ledge jutting out from a low concrete wall where a jack-o-lantern rested next to me and plugged in my earphones. Saturday Nights by Khalid started playing as I scanned the nearby surroundings, choosing to remain quiet for the moment.

  They didn't try to speak to me either, clearly having moved on from their prank. A minute later, Jacob came back from somewhere inside the ruins with two cups of what was probably beer in his hands. He handed one to my sister. I didn't interfere. Aaliyah drank alcohol sometimes but she didn't ever get drunk so I wasn't too worried. Besides, I trusted Jacob. If it was some other guy who had handed her that drink, I'd never have let it touch her lips.

  The air was cold so I was glad I was wearing my jacket with the hood pulled low as I leaned back against the wall and lost myself to the music. And thoughts of Skye. I kept wondering when I would see her again. My weekend was booked tight with studying for my exams and soccer practice. And after that last night, I hadn't wanted to go back to her and humiliate myself by having my feelings plastered all over my face again.

  Did she even miss me? Or at least think about me? It had been two days and neither of us had bothered to get in touch. What if she said no to me next time? I was scared to find out so I stayed away and gave her some space. The problem was, I couldn't stay away for very long. The need to see her and talk to her got too overpowering sometimes.

  "Skye," I whispered her name into the air and watched as my breath clouded in front of me.

  Then I quickly glanced down at the spot where Jacob was standing. He couldn't have heard me over the noise all around but still, I was worried. I didn't care about myself or my reputation anymore. But I had made her a promise and I wasn't about to break it due to my carelessness.

  A girl suddenly showed up behind Jacob and wrapped her arms around his waist. She was dressed as Harley Quinn and from the way she shrieked and kissed my friend after he turned to face her, I recognised her as Giselle. They began to make-out right there against the wall a couple of feet away. He was the one pressed against the wall while she ate out his face but in the middle of all that, Giselle opened her eyes and peeked up at me.

  I didn't look away at first so she continued to kiss Jacob while watching me, her hands seeming to explore him underneath his clothes. Shit. This was really bad. Jacob could do so much better than this girl. With an angry expression, I jumped off the ledge and grabbed my sister's hand before walking off.

  "Come on. I'm not interested in watching this," I said to her before leading her inside the ruins.

  She didn’t respond and when I slid a glance at her, I saw that her expression was tense and gloomy.

  "Aaliyah?"

  My sister studied me with narrowed eyes for a few seconds before opening her mouth and asking me a question that caught me completely off-guard.

  "Have you lost your virginity yet?"

  Oh no. Not this again. I couldn't have this kind of conversation with her.

  "Aali, I-"

  "Look, I just want to know," she continued in matter-of-fact voice. "Because I don't know who else to talk to and I'm not sure if you've done it or not. You must have done it. I mean, you're eighteen and girls are all over you so..." She shook her head and tugged on my hand. "Just tell me. Did you get attached to the person afterwards? Like did you just fuck and get it over with or did you catch feelings?"

  I sighed and watched some people dancing around us on the rough, stone floor while cocooned inside a corner of the ruins.

  "I can't talk about it," I said slowly and frowned at her. "Why do you want to know this? What is going on with you, Aali? Did you lose your virginity to someone?" Did I even want to know?

  She just gave me a blank look. "I asked you first."

  I lowered my gaze, feeling sorry for her again. My sister just needed someone to talk to because she didn't have any friends.

  "I'm not a virgin," I revealed to her while still holding her hand. "And...I did it with someone who means a lot to me so no, it wasn't just a fuck."

  She was quiet for a moment. Then she stepped closer and asked, "For you or for her?"

  I gave her a startled look, my mouth going dry. I didn't want to answer that question because the answer to that question hurt too much.

  "Listen, why don't you go dance or something?" I suggested with a jerk of my chin towards the spot where some teenagers were swaying to the music. "Go have fun. I'll be right here when you're ready to leave."

  She regarded me with her head inclined to one side and then smirked a little. "Okay," she agreed easily and moved off to join the others.

  I leaned my head back against the wall and tried not to dwell on her question because it caused my stomach to tie up in knots along with an ache in my heart. Without even thinking about it, I scrolled through my phone and typed up a text to send to Skye.

  - Hey. What're you up to?

  God, how I wished I was with her right now, making love to her over and over, savouring the feel of her in my arms. She probably didn't miss me at all after the way she had dismissed me on Thursday night.

  When she didn't reply for a whole two minutes, it made me feel so tortured that I walked over to the cans of beer set out on a table and grabbed one for myself. The taste was awful and I grimaced before slamming the can down without finishing it, remembering that I had to drive my sister home later. If it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't have cared and gotten drunk till I passed out right there.

  "Zi, wow, since when did you start drinking?" a familiar voice spoke up from beside me in Italian.

  It was Alfredo, one of my classmates and teammate as well. He was the captain of our school soccer team and a good friend of mine.

  I breathed out a laugh. “Drinking is highly overrated," I told him, speaking in Italian as well.

  Alfredo grinned at me as he opened up a can for himself. He was one of the rich ones. Actually, ninety percent of the kids who attended Scuola Internazionale di Pavia (Internation
al School of Pavia) had rich parents. It was a Cambridge International school and there were students from various countries who attended this institution with us but by the time they graduated, they all learned to speak the national language fluently.

  Me, I had been taught by my father so my Italian was as fluent as anyone who had been born and bred here.

  Alfredo talked to me for a few minutes regarding the upcoming games and practice schedules before handing me another beer. "Godere," he told me with another easy grin. Enjoy.

  I guessed he was the one who had supplied the drinks for this evening. It was hard to enjoy anything though with my heart yearning for someone whom I could never bring to parties like these and then wildly make out with in some dark corner. My phone vibrated and I checked it quickly, hoping she had messaged me back but it wasn't a reply from Skye. It was actually an alert of her latest Instagram story. I did follow her there.

  She was dressed up like some Greek maiden and Izzy and Ben were posing beside her, also in costume. In another picture, she was laughing and holding a glass of champagne while a guy who was definitely older had his arms around her waist. I realised that she was actually in the city at her gallery where they had held a Halloween exhibition.

  There was a surge of jealousy inside my heart, an emotion which I had never expected to feel. It made me shove the phone back inside my pocket and move away from the crowded area. Here I was pining away and not even able to enjoy myself at a party I had been looking forward to and she was having a great time in that other life which didn't include me.

  Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turned to find Jacob behind me and Giselle next to him.

  "Hey," he said a little breathlessly. "Can I borrow your car keys?"

  I narrowed my eyes at him. It didn't take a genius to figure out why he wanted those keys right now since he obviously wasn't allowed to drive.

  "I don't think so," I replied in a tight voice.

  "Come on, man," he said and held out his hand. "I just need twenty minutes tops."

  My fists clenched and I nibbled on my lower lip, feeling so angry and wishing I could just go home.

  "Jacob. My car is not a motel room, okay," I stated firmly. "You want to get laid so bad, find some other place. Or get your own ride."

  Even in the noise surrounding us, it felt like a tense silence had fallen between my best friend and I. I regretted those words almost as soon as they left my mouth and Jacob didn't reply for a long while before he turned to walk away.

  "Jacob-"

  He stopped and glanced back at me. "Listen. I don't know what's going on with you lately since you wouldn't talk to me about it but there's no need to act like an ass," he said to me in a serious tone. "You want me to get my own ride, fine. I'll get my own fucking ride, Zi. Thanks for helping me with that so far."

  "No, wait. Jacob, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to-"

  "Good night," he cut me off abruptly and led Giselle away.

  I stood there for a long time after he had left. He'd made his way here by himself but I'd promised to drop him home. I'd just been feeling so messed up over Skye and my bad mood had soured each and every interaction I had had with people tonight.

  I knew I had to stop this. A couple of my mates met up with me and we chatted for about fifteen minutes. Then some of the other kids came up with scary games to play which kept people amused for another hour or so. Abbu texted me a couple of times to make sure we were fine but I noticed that Aaliyah was drinking a little too much so I decided it was time to head back. She didn't argue with me. We went and sat in the car for about ten minutes as I watched the party continue through the windshield.

  "Er...so why aren't we leaving?" Aali asked me in a slightly slurred voice.

  I remained silent and frowned at the steering wheel.

  "Zi?" Her voice was gentle now. Concerned. "Are you all right? You've been moody all evening." She tapped her fingers against the dashboard. "I'm glad you came with me but...you could've just refused if you didn't want to."

  Reaching out, I clasped my hand over hers and gave it a squeeze. "I don't mind," I told her quietly. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

  Getting out of the car, I walked around the place for a while, searching for Jacob. He hadn't answered my texts or calls. I felt so bad about what I had said to him and the way I had said it. After a couple of minutes, I found him seated on a tree stump near the boundary of the ruins, smoking something he probably should not be smoking.

  "Hey. Come on, we're going back," I called out to him with my hands in my pockets. It was getting really chilly and my warm bed was starting to seem more and more appealing. "Where's Giselle? Does she need a ride too?" I asked him when he continued smoking.

  Jacob shook his head. "She came with some other girls. They'll be leaving later."

  The silence between us dragged out.

  "Jacob, I didn't mean it, all right," I spoke up in exasperation.

  He threw away the joint and looked over at me. I couldn't even tell if he was mad or upset because of that damn grinning face he had painted on.

  "I know you didn't mean it, Zi," he said quietly. "And I hope you know that you can confide in me if you're going through something. We're best friends. You can talk to me anytime."

  I nodded at him. "Thanks. But I'm okay. I just...well, I guess I'm not in a party mood."

  He scoffed. "No kidding."

  "Let's just go. Come on. Aali's waiting in the car."

  He jumped off the tree stump and I started to turn back when I happened to see a girl standing near the trees about twenty feet away from us. She was blond, dressed in a white dress and leaning against a tree, watching us. I wondered why she was alone out there in the dark and opened my mouth to ask her when Jacob shook me a little.

  I glanced at him to find him regarding me worriedly. "What's wrong?" he asked me. "I said your name about three times. What are you staring at?"

  Frowning, I nodded towards the girl. "Do you know who she is?" I asked Jacob. "She looks young but she isn't from our school."

  My best friend scanned the place where she was standing without focusing on the girl. "Umm...Zi...I don't see anyone," he said hesitantly.

  He was lying. Trying to prank me again. She was clearly there and looking right at us. Maybe she was in on the joke or something. I made to approach her but Jacob just grabbed my arm and tugged me in the other direction.

  "Come on," he muttered determinedly. "Aali's alone. We should probably go."

  "But you can see her right?" I asked him in an insistent voice. Jacob didn't answer me but he increased his pace as he led us back to the crowded part of the ruins and headed towards my car.

  I felt a shiver run down my spine and turned to look at the girl again. She hadn't disappeared. She was still there, following our progress. I swallowed hard and when I turned away for the last time, I didn't bother to check if she continued to watch us or not once we made it to the car.

  ....

  It was almost midnight when my phone buzzed with a text. Groggily, I picked it up and checked the notification.

  - I've been busy. Just got home an hour ago. What a crazy day. Happy Halloween, Zi. -Skye

  I couldn't believe it for a second. Did she really just text me in the middle of the night to let me know what she'd been up to? Wow. My desire to go back to sleep just flew out the door. I wanted to ask her if I could come over but I stopped myself.

  - Ikr. So crazy. Have a good weekend, Skye. Sleep well.

  Sighing, I put my phone away and closed my eyes although falling back asleep was going to be a problem. Still, I smiled to myself in the darkness.

  She texted me back.

  ****

  Chapter 12

  Skye

  "You're in a great mood today," Isabelle observed as she sat eating her cereal at the kitchen table on Tuesday morning.

  My other two kids turned to look at me as well and Ben gave me a rare smile which kind of reminded me of his father whereas Jacob studie
d me with his head inclined while biting into an apple which in turn reminded me of his father. Oh, boy.

  "She does seem to be, huh?" my eldest child concluded thoughtfully.

  I turned my back to them and rolled my eyes. My kids trying to analyse me was both amusing and exasperating at the same time. They hardly ever paid me this much attention. However, I really was in a pretty great mood this morning for some reason and maybe it showed in my demeanour. I didn't have to go to work today and hardly had anything planned so it was going to be a peaceful day for me at home and I was determined to enjoy it.

  Placing their lunches on the table, I moved to grab my car keys but then Jacob said, "Mum. Zi said he'd be happy to give us a ride to school today so you don't have to. Is that cool?"

  I glanced at him with a frown. "Honey, I can drop you guys. It's not like I'm too busy or something."

  Jacob shrugged. "Well, we thought we'd get out of your hair as quickly as possible and he offered to take us. I mean, I can text him not to come if you aren't okay with it."

  I thought about it for a moment. I didn't really have a problem with Ziad giving them a ride to school. He'd done it a few times before, anyway and Jacob was being so thoughtful these days, it was amazing to see. It appeared as though he sensed that I had been under a lot of stress lately and he just wanted to make things easier.

  I smiled sweetly at my son. "Thank you," I said to him. "I honestly would have enjoyed taking you guys but if Zi is on his way, then there's no need to cancel your plans," I told them.

  As if on cue, we heard Zi's car pulling up in the driveway and a horn sounded which caused my kids to grab their stuff and say goodbye to me before starting to file out.

  My daughter gave me a quick hug, then winked at me and said, "You're really rocking that outfit, Mom. Enjoy your day. Love you."

  I told her I loved her too and then laughed softly as she walked off. I was wearing a colourful skirt that reached my ankles, boho-chic style paired with a blank tank top and had braided my hair in a side pleat. When I turned to put some things away in the fridge, I heard the front door open again and without looking up, asked if someone had forgotten something.