Shameless

by Storm, Zee Shine

  He could make you believe anything. When he looked at me with those melting brown eyes and held me close, it felt like I was transported to another world. The age thing was very worrying for me though. He was perfect in every way but the idea of anything more than a fling was impossible to consider. Especially when he never spoke of feelings or anything along those lines.

  The guy wasn't sleazy but sex was all he was interested in and after every lovemaking session, which usually occurred in his car somewhere secluded during the evenings, he dropped me back home and left. Exactly like he was doing now.

  I began to put my clothes back on as well when he received a text on his phone and swore under his breath. Casting him a worried glance, I asked what was wrong while struggling with the clasp of my bra.

  "This bitch," he muttered and shoved the phone inside his pocket before glancing at me with a distracted frown.

  I was speechless a few seconds later when he reached out, gently shifted me so that my back was to him and then deftly fastened the hooks on my bra. Oh wow. This was what I meant about him being so different. What boy would even bother to dress you up after sleeping with you when he clearly had to leave?

  "Are you okay?" I asked him again when he moved away and stared dejectedly out the window.

  "Yes," he answered in a low voice and I detected sadness in it. "Just some things I have to deal with."

  Finally, I was dressed and he started the car and drove us back without saying another word. What things? I wanted to ask but I knew he wouldn't tell me. He hardly ever talked about himself or what was going on in his life when he was with me. Why would he? I was just a thrill for him.

  "Good night, Iris," he murmured, still carrying that sadness in his tone but he leaned over to kiss me. Just once. Just a perfunctory peck on my lips.

  I didn't want him to leave but I couldn't ask him to stay either. This whole thing was never even supposed to happen. His parents must hate me so much although he assured me they were fine with it. Also, Sierra was there in the apartment with me and asking Ziad to stay would only hurt her.

  "Good night," I said and gave him a smile before exiting his car.

  ....

  I thought of him that night more than usual. He never called anyone bad names and hardly ever swore. I wondered who the text had been from. I wondered if he really was okay because there was a sadness in him which he tried his best to hide but it didn't escape my notice since I knew exactly what it felt like. To have to put on a brave face even when things were eating you up inside.

  I checked on Sierra before going to bed and again, she ignored me.

  He makes me feel good, I wanted to tell her. I'm not using him for sex. I really do think he's a nice guy and I like his company. Why can't I have this just for a while? It won't last that long anyway and I'll go back to my lonely little world.

  I wiped my tears in bed and put on a Netflix show, forcing him out of my mind. My involvement with him was so uncertain, I wasn't even sure if he'd show up tomorrow or find some other woman who presented a new challenge. So I shut it all out and refused to hope for anything.

  ~~~

  Ziad

  "Why did you call me here?"

  The evil smirk Giselle aimed my way made my skin crawl as she reclined in the leather couch in her living room. Jacob and I had had plans to hang out and do our assignments tonight but Giselle had 'summoned' me to her place instead.

  "I missed you," she said to me while stretching lazily. "You've been avoiding me so well but it's not like you can do it forever, baby."

  "What. Do. You. Want?" I asked her through gritted teeth. I didn't have the time or the patience for this and was so close to walking away.

  "You know what I want, Zi," she replied, watching me intently. She was wearing nothing but a short, white dress as she put everything else on display for me.

  With an angry exhale, I turned and started to walk out because she was being a pain and had nothing useful to say to me. My phone was in my hand when a text came through from her number.

  It made me a little dizzy when I tapped on it and saw the picture attached to it. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the photo, my stomach tightening uncomfortably. It was a photo of Skye, faceless but unmistakably her in just a robe parted along the front. She'd sent it to me only weeks ago upon my insistence. I didn't even get a chance to recover from the shock when another text pinged on my phone. Screenshots of the messages I'd exchanged with her. I'd never deleted them but I knew for sure that nobody else could have seen them. My phone was always locked and I never left it lying around.

  "Gym class last Friday. Fifth period," Giselle spoke up from behind me. "You should be more careful with your locker combination."

  I struggled to prevent myself from lashing out at her or slamming her into a wall or throwing my phone against something. She'd broken into my locker and hacked my phone? How? How was that even possible? I hadn't even known or suspected she would try something like that.

  "How did you-?"

  "Oh, it was easy. I won't name him but I've got a friend who's very good at crashing into people's security systems." She giggled as she drew up close to me. "You should've deleted those. I mean, do you have any idea how juicy this stuff is? I had no clue you were such a bad boy, Ziad. Or that Jacob's mom-"

  "Please. Please don't do this, Giselle," I begged, turning to her and trying to appeal to some sense of goodness inside of her. "It's all over now. It was a mistake. You have to delete it. Think of Jacob...her family."

  She widened her eyes at me innocently. "I do think of them, Zi," she said while rubbing my arm. I shifted away from her but she only stepped closer. "Why do you think I haven't told anyone yet? Shown it to anyone else or even posted it anywhere."

  I felt nausea rising inside me and swallowed a few times, biting on my bottom lip. Why was this happening to me? Why me? One wrong involvement and it was costing me so much now.

  "Don't worry." Giselle smiled at me but it was a twisted smile. "Your secret is safe with me. But I just need a teeny-tiny favour."

  I knew what she would say, what she would ask for. It was the glint in her grey eyes that gave her intentions away.

  "Do you have no conscience at all?" I asked her, helpless, angry tears starting to form in my eyes. "Please. I've never done anything to you. Can't you see that I don't want this?"

  She cocked her head to one side and regarded me with a mocking expression. "So does that mean you don't want me to keep your secret?" she asked with a pout.

  I thought of Skye and what she would face if this got out. I thought of Jacob, how heartbroken he already was regarding his parents, what this knowledge would do to him. I was all he had sometimes and to discover that I'd betrayed him too...

  Her grin was pure evil all over again as she noted the surrender in my demeanour. People like this really existed in my world. People who derived pleasure from other people's pain.

  "This would be better if you took your clothes off," she told me calmly and waited.

  ****

  Chapter 25

  Cole

  "This is epic stuff," Armaan said in a slightly awed tone as he finished the seventh chapter of a historical fiction novel we were both reading simultaneously.

  Skye, him and I did that sometimes, being the book-lovers that we were and it was actually quite fun. But Skye wasn't into fantasy or any other genre these days. She preferred romance novels which made me feel kind of insecure because she had hardly ever read those during the entire time we had been married but these days, romance novels were her go-to.

  It was a Thursday night and I was hanging out with my friend, frequently checking the time on my phone because I had to be home soon. I didn't want to miss dinner with the kids even though Armaan had insisted I eat over at his place. I worked all day now and seeing my children, sharing even one meal with them at the end of it while they goofed around at the table made me just a tiny bit happier.

  Currently, Armaan and I were rea
ding Ken Follett’s Pillars of the Earth novel and enjoying the heck out of it. It was an old book I'd read during my teens but it was nice to revisit one of my favorites. Armaan was really getting into it. My friend was what I would call a closet reader. Anyone who didn't live with him would have a hard time believing he liked to read because he usually did so in private. It was Skye and I who had sort of dragged him into our mini book club.

  "I better go," I said, trying to stifle a yawn. "Kids must be waiting for me."

  He gave me a nod and got up to place the book on his desk while I collected my phone and the design plans I'd brought over for him to have a look at and give me his feedback on. Just then, the door to the library opened and Armaan's daughter walk in. She and I exchanged a look, hers was one of delight while mine was slightly panicked before she went over to Armaan and hugged him from behind.

  "Hey, Abbu. Didn't see you all day today," she said to him. "I was off to sleep and thought I'd say goodnight."

  He turned and put an arm around her shoulders to tuck her into his side before dropping a kiss on her head. "Well, this is rare," he laughed. "But I appreciate the gesture. It's only eight, though."

  She nuzzled her face in his chest and smiled while I tried not to feel uncomfortable. Armaan was just being his usual, charming self but Aaliyah was pretty much all over him. It wasn't the first time I'd noticed that but I'd never commented on it.

  "Hey, Mr. Sawyer," she spoke to me while her arms were still wrapped around her dad. "How are you?"

  Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she looked at me and I murmured, "Good, Aaliyah. How about you?"

  "Awesome," she replied cheerfully. "You don't look too good though. I mean, you actually look kind of sad. It must be hard. With Mr. Wells so far away."

  My heart started to beat a little faster and I was sure my expression was guilt-ridden. God, I'd made a bad call that night three weeks ago because I'd been angry with Skye and hurting over so many things. Then Jasper had given me weed and there had been pain in his eyes when he told me that Skye didn't want him. I hadn't been thinking about anyone but him, just wanting him to be happy, to have everything he desired. I hadn't thought of Aali or Armaan or the consequences if our families found out.

  Aaliyah had always shown signs of being precocious and she hadn't been acting like she was just sixteen that night. I hadn't even asked Jasper about it because of how guilty I felt the next day and he hadn't mentioned it either. I assumed it was because he too felt guilty for sleeping with a sixteen year old once the intoxication wore off. Aali seemed fine though so I'd tried not to dwell on it too much.

  Armaan was saying something to her about not prying into my personal affairs and she was pouting at him. She still hadn't let him go but he no longer had his arm around her and was just leaning against the desk.

  "I was just being nice," she said in an innocent tone and blinked at me. "Mr. Sawyer doesn't mind, do you, Mr. Sawyer? He doesn't mind a lot of things." She winked at me but her face was averted so Armaan didn't catch it.

  I stood up quickly and said, "Um...not at all. Thank you for asking."

  "I wish he'd been here for his big birthday bash," she continued in a breathy voice. "I mean, turning fifty is a huge deal and spending it so far away from loved ones must have been hard."

  Armaan frowned at her words and I began to panic again. Why was she doing this? This conversation was far too dangerous for my liking.

  "He was fine," I answered curtly. "He didn't want it to be a big deal. Didn't want to be reminded that he was getting old."

  Aaliyah finally let go of Armaan and stalked towards me, smirking. "Oh, he's anything but that," she told me and again, I was the only one who saw the darkly delightful expression on her face. "I'd say he's one of the most energetic guys I've ever...um...been around. Anyway, you have a good night, Mr. Sawyer."

  When she walked out of the library, there was a tense silence and I glanced at Armaan who was watching me with a serious expression.

  "Er...I guess Jacob must have told her about the birthday or something," I hedged. "It really wasn't a big deal."

  He nodded and said, "I'm sorry. I know she can be a little...forward sometimes. She's a sweet kid, though."

  "Oh, absolutely," I replied quickly. "She's great. I don't mind."

  He scratched his chin a bit while the seriousness never left his face. "It's hard, man. When I adopted them, I never thought it'd be this tough. Especially now when they're teenagers. I feel like they have all these secrets which they don't ever plan to share with me. But then, what did I expect? We've all been there, huh?"

  I understood exactly what he meant. Izzy and Ben weren't so complicated but Jacob...he was an emotional kid and a hard one to figure out at times. Since his bond with Jasper was stronger than the one I had with him, I felt like I couldn't get through to him much. He didn't confide in me either.

  As far as he was aware, Jasper had always been his dad. Jacob didn't know anything about the first two years of his life, how he had been the first person I used to see every morning and how I tucked him in bed every night. I couldn't tell him any of that without bringing up the reason Jasper hadn't been there. We simply never spoke about that dark, painful phase of our lives.

  "Let's pray that it gets better," I told my friend, one father to another. It was nice to have someone who could relate to the situation. Raising a teenager was one of the most challenging things in life.

  "Yeah. That's all we can do sometimes." Armaan chuckled to himself and walked me out as I left.

  What I actually prayed for that night was that my best friend never found out about how I'd had a hand in orchestrating a hook-up between my lover and his daughter. I'd basically pushed Aaliyah in Jasper's arms without even thinking of how Armaan would feel if he came to know about it. When it came to my friendship with him, I'd officially screwed up and it wasn't a good feeling.

  ~~~

  Ziad

  None of us have ever been particularly religious in our household. Far from it, actually. My dad was the only one who adhered to some of the rules of the Islamic culture but even he strayed from the path of goodness from time to time. Fridays were considered holy. Prayers were said to carry more weight on days like these. I wasn't even sure if it was true but I prayed that morning anyway.

  There was so much pain in my life that turning to Allah was the only thing left for me to do now. Who else was going to understand? Who else would help me?

  The strangest thing happened when I got up after my prayer and walked over to my bathroom mirror. I began to cry hot, scalding tears and it felt like all my guilt and sadness was being released through them. Allah hadn't answered me personally but there was a conviction in my heart that the help I had been seeking was right there in front of me. Why did I keep pushing them away when they were the only ones who gave a damn about me? They weren't my enemies. They never had been.

  ~~~

  Skye

  "Okay, this is getting ridiculous," I said, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at Cole as he got ready for work on Friday morning.

  He still wasn't speaking to me properly. I'd already apologised to him but God did Cole Sawyer know how to be stubborn. My husband wrote the book on the art of stubbornness years ago.

  He fastened his tie while flicking a glance at me and didn't even bother to ask me what I meant. It didn't matter that he knew what I meant. What irked me was that he couldn't meet me halfway after all the efforts I had been putting in to get him to forgive me for hurting his feelings.

  "Seriously, what do you want me to do? Get down on my knees and beg?" I huffed at him.

  Again, he ignored me so I growled under my breath and turned to leave before I smashed something on his head.

  "It would be a nice start," he spoke up at last.

  Frowning, I turned to him and gave him a questioning look. Cole tucked his tongue in his cheek, regarded me thoughtfully for a moment and then came over to me slowly. When he reached me, he folded his arm
s and raised his eyebrows like he was waiting for something. Behind his glasses, there was a sensual gleam in his green eyes. I opened my mouth slightly because I was a little surprised.

  He wanted a blowjob? That's what he needed from me in order to finally forgive me? Men.

  "Fine," I snapped and my hands went to his zipper, forcing it down. Cole said nothing as I got to my knees and removed his cock from his pants to work on it without wasting another minute.

  It started out as an angry 'assault' but then I began to enjoy it. I mean, this was my husband's cock which I'd been missing out on for weeks. It felt good to have it back in my mouth. I loved it. He was loving it too as his hands went to my hair and he gently moved my head up and down his length while groaning softly. I felt like some sort of porn star in that moment because of how hungry I was acting over his dick, laving it with my tongue and making appreciative noises.

  "Mmm. I want it in me," I told him with feeling and was ready for him to make love to me right there despite the fact that he was getting late for work.

  I expected him to hesitate but he tugged on my hair, making me let go of his dick with a pop sound. With a horny expression on his face, my husband nodded towards the bed and said, "Put your hands on the mattress and feet on the floor."

  God, yes. I obeyed him silently and positioned myself like he wanted. Cole's dominant side was hard at work today and it was exciting the hell out of me. I felt him lifting my dress, pushing my panties aside and then sliding into me without hesitation because he knew I was already so wet just from having tasted him.

  He wasn't gentle this time. Gripping my waist, he pulled me back into him hard and the room filled up with the sound of his hips slapping against my ass. Rhythmically and deliciously. I moaned at the feeling of his cock stretching me out because I hadn't been masturbating these past couple of weeks.