Shameless

by Storm, Zee Shine

  "I would go through all this pain," I kept going. "Take a bullet straight through my brain. Yes, I would die for you, baby. But you won't do the same."

  When I said that last part, she grew sober and I widened my eyes at her. "I mean, you would, you would," I reassured her quickly. "You totally and absolutely would, Skye."

  Getting up slowly, she came over to me and sat beside me on the lounger, gazing at my face. Her fingers touched my cheekbones and then moved to my lips, my jaw and then caressed my hair. Her eyes filled with tears before she shifted to lay her head on my chest and I slid my arms around her, holding her quietly while looking up at the clouds.

  "I'm sorry," she said into my chest. "You didn't deserve it. I fucked up, Cole. Please forgive me."

  Okay, now she was making me want to cry as well. It wasn't that bad. Jasper would be fine. And if she was willing to do better, I didn't see what the problem was. So we'd fought. Kind of terribly. But if you stayed in a marriage and expected things to be peaceful all the time, there was no way you'd survive as long as we had.

  "If you need to fall apart," I sang softly into her hair. "I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash, then crash and burn you're not alone."

  Skye started to giggle. Her shoulders shook slightly and she lifted her head, the light in her blue eyes returning along with a distinct flush on her cheeks. "Points for originality," she said to me in amusement.

  I shrugged. "Hey, I'm an old man. I don't know what the trend is these days for wooing women. And I happen to like what is familiar."

  Her eyes had a softness to them as she regarded me. "I'll go out to dinner with you if you promise to keep quoting old songs all evening."

  I covered her hand, which was resting on my chest, with my own and gave it a squeeze. "You got yourself a deal, honey."

  ~~~

  Ziad

  I was lying in bed watching a soccer match on TV when my father walked into my room later that evening. I sat up at once and looked at him warily and expectantly while he settled down next to me and reclined against the pillows.

  "I took care of it," he told me quietly, his eyes on the TV screen. "She won't be bothering you again."

  I gaped at him a little. Just like that? It had taken him less than twelve hours to solve the Giselle problem which had plagued me for weeks, ruining my days and nights. I should've confided in him much sooner.

  "What did you do?" I asked him in awe, shifting to study his profile.

  His expression was grim and he still didn't look at me. "I don't want to get into details," he murmured. "She won't say anything to anyone. And the evidence is gone. For good."

  He sounded like a total gangster and it was hard to take it in because he was usually so easygoing. "You didn't...Abbu...she's not-?" Dead, is she? I was afraid to ask but he moved his steely gaze to me and seemed to understand what I couldn't voice.

  "I didn't harm her," he told me carefully. "She's going to stay away from you, Jacob and our family, that's all you need to know, okay. Although, I still don't agree with you not wanting to press charges. Everything she did to you are serious crimes, Ziad but since you're not a minor, I can't be the one to report it."

  I sighed and slumped back against the pillows. I had wanted to see Giselle punished by the law. She was eighteen as well and would have paid for her crimes. But the trial could take more than a year and without any evidence of the drug she had used on me that first night and the lack of witnesses, it was going to be pretty messy. What made me decide against it finally was the fact that I didn’t trust Giselle not to bring up Skye’s name during the questioning.

  It was enough to know that she won't be resorting to blackmail or forcing me to sleep with her again. She didn't have that kind of power over me anymore. At last, as we both settled into a peaceful silence, I started to feel some sort of relief. The heaviness in my heart lifted somewhat and I breathed deeply.

  "Thank you, Abbu."

  He nodded solemnly and clapped a hand on my back. "Next time, if you're facing a problem too big for you to handle, don't hesitate to come to me."

  I nodded back at him, beginning to get a little emotional. Whatever he had done, I was so grateful for it. I couldn't express just how grateful. "And you won't say anything to Skye?" I prompted worriedly. "She's a good person. And she's your friend. Please forgive her."

  He frowned when I said that and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. I understood it was hard on him but I also knew my father had a kind heart. He didn't hold grudges and he always saw the best in people.

  "One way or another, everything comes back to bite you in the ass," he muttered to himself and sighed. "By the way, Ziad, you can experiment all you want and fall in love a hundred times. You can be with older women if that's your preference or even men. It's your life and I get it. I love you. But don't ever go for a taken woman. Please."

  He looked at me earnestly. "Be with someone who puts you first or at the very least, someone you don't have to keep a secret. Jasmine went through the same thing in her past and it broke her. Illicit affairs are never good, especially when you get your heart involved. It eats you up slowly until you're left with nothing but bitterness and end up pushing people away because you feel like they will all hurt you the same way or that you're not worthy enough to be loved."

  I completely agreed with him. If he'd told me this a month ago, I wouldn't have listened but I knew it was true after having experienced the awful consequences of my mistakes. I never should've gone near her. She couldn't ever make me happy no matter how much I cared about her. She simply didn't see me that way.

  "I'm sorry," I sighed because there wasn't much else to say regarding what I had done. We were both men, he'd also been a teenager once and I knew he understood that the sexual as well as emotional thrill of being with a woman was hard to walk away from. Especially when she was your first.

  Abbu rubbed my shoulder comfortingly. "I think you should see a therapist regarding all of this. Sort through the trauma of what Giselle was putting you through," he suggested gravely. "I'm always here to listen, Ziad, but there are some details even I won't be able to hear without going insane. I actually might kill her then. She seems pretty fucked up, even if she is just a teenager. I mean, grown woman would shudder at the thought of doing what she did to you."

  Even thinking about it was disturbing. I'd pushed the events of the previous night with her to the back of my mind because I couldn't dwell on it without wanting to throw up or hit something hard. The injustice of it rankled.

  "I guess I will," I said, after considering his suggestion to talk to someone neutral about my experience. I didn't want to be scarred for life. I wanted to be happy again.

  "Good," my father replied with a smile. "It'll help you. And what about this girlfriend of yours? How are things with her?"

  I rolled my eyes at his question. "She isn't my girlfriend. We're just-" I stopped before I said 'fucking' and cleared my throat. "It's not serious. She's thirty years old."

  He gave me a slightly incredulous look. "Oh, so forty plus is okay but thirty is what? Too old for you?" he asked me.

  No. I just didn't love Iris. I couldn't see myself loving anyone the way I had loved Skye. So I kept quiet and looked back at the television.

  He started to get up. "If she makes you happy and you're not hurting anyone, don't let anything else hold you back," he said to me. "Iris seems nice. She doesn't strike me as someone who has evil intentions but then, I could be wrong."

  No. She didn't have evil intentions. I got the feeling that she genuinely cared about me. And it was a little scary because I didn't want to get used to it and get hurt again when she decided to dump me with some excuse about me being a kid.

  "I love you," I said to Abbu, feeling safe and cared for after so long. Maybe prayers really did help after all.

  "Love you too, son," he replied, smiling at me.

  "Don't be mad at aunt Jasmine," I added. "She did try to help. She was there for me
, Abbu. Please don't blame her."

  He looked at me a while and his eyes held so much love in them. So much...pride.

  "Allah's plans are always better than our desires," he stated with feeling. "I thought not having kids with Jasmine was a bad thing. But look at what I got instead. The kind of pure heart you have…it's so rare. I couldn't have asked for a better son."

  He left then and I lay back down, feeling overwhelmed by his words. It was sad that I'd lost my parents and they'd never had a chance to raise me. But having Armaan for a father was better than anything I could've imagined. He'd given me so much and I wasn't even his to begin with. Forget about my heart. His was the purest out of all.

  ****

  Chapter 27

  Iris

  There were strange vibes present at the dinner table the night I got invited over to Ziad's place. I hadn't wanted to go but Ziad said it'd be good for me to get away from the business for an evening and hang out with other people. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness and accepted.

  It was awkward at first because there were so many people there. The same lot from our trip to Milan with the exception of my brother and Jasmine but Armaan had also invited a few of his work friends and soccer buddies over along with their partners. Wow. He sure loved to entertain and this place was intimidatingly huge.

  I was the adult but Ziad was the one holding my hand the entire time it took me to get used to being there. It was so sweet of him. It had been a week since he'd come to me looking distinctively happy and carefree. All of a sudden, he'd started to pay me more attention, didn't just leave after sex and one night he had even stayed over, watching movies with me and kissing and cuddling.

  "Nice outfit," a voice spoke up from beside me. I was standing near a couch in Ziad's spacious living room, watching the other guests milling about.

  When I turned around, I saw Ziad's sister, Aaliyah, regarding me curiously. "Thank you," I replied with a smile, wondering what she found so nice about my plain, black sheath dress which I had bought last year.

  "We don't bite, you know," she said to me with a twist of her lips. "My dad's pretty cool and if you feel weirded out by the age-gap thing, don't. I mean, I'd give you a 10/10 in the looks department and I'm not even gay so that's saying something."

  I stared at her, sort of in awe. Ziad had told me a little about her and I'd met her once but being in her presence felt like I was observing some kind of interesting and fascinating specimen.

  "His room's the third one on your right when you go upstairs," Aaliyah informed me with a wink. "In case you get tired of looking at all these boring faces and decide to go wait for him in bed."

  Whoa. Okay. I wasn't sure whether to thank her or be shocked by her so I simply nodded.

  "Oh, did I freak you out or something?" she asked quickly. "I'm only saying what he's thinking because you know...boys and their toys. And screwing in your childhood bedroom under your parents' very own noses is like a rite of passage." Then, with a nod of her own, she calmly walked away.

  Ziad showed up in front of me a few seconds later. "Hey. You wanna go upstairs?" he asked a little excitedly. He was surprised when I burst out laughing, thinking how spot-on that kid sister of his had been.

  "No," I said, once I had regained my composure. "I won't be going upstairs because I'm here with my niece who I'm supposed to be looking out for. However, I am going to go talk to some people and you…," I gave him a sweet smile. “Keep it in your pants."

  Ignoring his disappointed look, I strolled off thinking it was good to let him wait sometimes instead of always making myself available whenever he wanted. I ended up talking to a couple of people there before Ziad's dad started a conversation with me, asking me about my shop. I loved talking business so that exchange didn't feel like a chore at all. He really was a cool person, so easy to talk to and I could finally see where his son got most of his charm from.

  ~~~

  Ziad

  "Blue balls, huh?"

  I jumped a little when my sister popped up next to me on the couch and interrupted my focus with her foul-mouthed presence.

  "She really seems to be hitting it off with our dad," Aaliyah observed when I went back to watching Iris. "Twenty euros says he falls for her and decides to dump Jasmine."

  Exasperation crossed my features upon hearing her wild assumptions. "Sis. Why are you like this?" I asked her.

  Aali grinned at me and shrugged unapologetically. Shaking my head, I leaned back against the couch and kept my eyes fixed on my…girlfriend? She looked amazing in that dress. I couldn't wait to take it off her.

  After my conversation with Abbu last week, I'd started to feel much lighter and happier. Giselle actually scuttled in the opposite direction whenever we crossed paths in school, making me wonder what methods my father had resorted to in order to instill so much fear in her, my first therapy session was booked for next week to help me cope with any post-traumatic stress I might be experiencing and our coach had finally forgiven me and was willing to give me a chance to play next season. Things were really looking up.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aaliyah scrolling through her phone and when I glanced down absently, I noticed that she'd pulled up her Instagram feed. She scrolled past a picture and then paused before pulling it back down the screen while we both studied it.

  It was a photo of aunt Jasmine posing in a bikini with a cocktail on some beach in Australia with Mr. Wells who was lounging next to her with a drink of his own. They both had sunglasses on, they both weren't smiling as they looked at the camera and she'd captioned it, Partners in crime. Good for her. I always thought she could use a vacation and since my dad was still mad at her, taking a break from the tension was probably the best thing for them.

  "Do you think they ever did it...or like maybe do it in secret sometimes?" Aaliyah mused out loud.

  Oh my God.

  "They're friends, Aaliyah," I reminded her.

  "I know but like...he's really hot and also pretty highly-sexed and I hate to say it but Jasmine's kind of attractive for her age as well so it makes me wonder..."

  "You need to stop trying to look for trouble when it's not there," I told her firmly, ignoring her remark about Jacob's dad being highly-sexed. It made me want to punch his face again. "She loves Abbu and he loves her."

  My sister lifted her head to present me with a sympathetic look. "Bro," she said in a long-suffering manner. "Love doesn't have shit to do with it. You could be in love with one person and still enjoy fucking somebody else."

  This conversation was hitting too close to home. I was trying to get over Skye and it was taking me so much time but slowly, I was working up to it. Still, reminders of her made my heart ache. It didn't help that she was here tonight as well and I'd been staring at Iris fixatedly to prevent myself from doing the same to Skye. This distraction thing was starting to get a little creepy.

  "What if Iris is a secret agent or something, paid to infiltrate our families and deduce all our secrets? Where did she come from? What does she want? Why you?" My sister continued with her conspiracy theories while glancing up at Iris.

  I rolled my eyes, opening my mouth to ask her what secrets our families could possibly have that would interest the government when I happened to look up as well and saw Iris talking to Skye. Oh shit. They were laughing about something and I almost let out a groan. Why was this happening to me? The last thing I wanted was for them to get to know each other and become friends or something. I couldn't handle that. I needed to keep my distance from my ex-lover as much as possible.

  At that moment, Iris looked towards me and frowned at the misery she most certainly detected on my face. Skye followed her line of vision and when I locked eyes with her, I felt my heart aching all over again. Almost at once, I lowered my gaze, not wanting her to see my pain before getting up to leave the room. Too soon. It was all too soon.

  ~~~

  Skye

  I shouldn't be doing this but seeing that misery and pain in
his expression had thrown me off kilter. I hadn't spoken to him privately since that night he had brought my drunk son home. It was kind of risky but I felt like I should check up on him just once to see if he was doing okay. Ziad had gone up to the roof so I discreetly followed him there after checking to see that Cole was preoccupied with someone else.

  He was standing near the balcony on the far side and I could see him due to the illumination provided by a single light at the entrance to the roof.

  "Ziad?" I walked towards him slowly, not at all sure if this was a good idea. The look he gave me was one of surprise as I smiled at him slightly.

  "Skye, what're you doing here?" he questioned, sounding breathless and a little disturbed. "Please you can't be seen with me."

  I frowned in confusion at his statement. Yeah, it was strange for me to be up here with him but it wasn't that suspicious because of how close our families were. I could simply say I had come to get a breath of fresh air and he just happened to be there.

  "Are you okay?" I asked him. "You seemed upset and I wanted to check up on you. We haven't had a chance to talk much lately. I mean, I had a lot going on."

  He let out a little laugh at my statement and rested his elbows on the balcony. "Sure, no problem. I'm great. Thanks for asking."

  A sigh escaped me as I drew near him and I reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you sure? You haven't been coming around and I get that it's awkward now but I really hope we can move past it eventually. You're Jacob's best friend. We miss seeing you at home."

  For a long moment, he stood completely still. Then suddenly, he turned to me and his hand grasped mine before he drew it down to his chest. His heartbeats were so fast, his chest rising and falling with erratic breaths and the way he stared at me was really disconcerting.

  "I lied to you," he said in a low, desperate tone. "It wasn't just casual sex for me, Skye. I wanted more. I had feelings for you. And you...you broke my heart. I don't even know what the hell to do anymore. Just when I think I'm moving on, I see you or hear someone mention your name and all of the progress I think I've made goes to hell. Why did you do this to me?"