Bratwurst and Bridges

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “This is the young woman Amy threatened?”

  “Yeah, from what I was told by Andrew.”

  “Great, I’ll get something set up.”

  “She’s seeking, Mary Beth.”

  “Good. We’ll pray that she opens her eyes to a Savior who is drawing her to Himself.”

  “The ultimate love story.”

  “Yeah, definitely. Try to have a good day, Dan. I’m glad you’re back.”

  “Thanks.”

  The soft click of the door echoed in his head. He’d never had migraines before but now? He folded up his laptop and put it in his bag. He told the secretary he was leaving and went home.

  He heard the thump, thump, thump of music coming from Skye’s apartment. She was probably painting. He paused though. It wasn’t standard rock ‘n roll, but the local Christian station. As bad as his head hurt, he wasn’t about to tell her to turn it off or down. He went into his apartment, dropped his stuff on the sofa, and made a beeline for the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and shut the shades. He crawled under the covers and drifted to sleep.

  He slept through till morning.

  FIFTEEN

  Only people who are capable of loving strongly

  can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.

  Leo Tolstoy

  Wednesday morning was accountability group. Dan arrived before everyone. His headache was gone, but he still wasn’t feeling one hundred percent well. His ribs still throbbed from his night of running to the toilet. The doctor said those injuries took a long time to heal. He motioned for Clarisse, their usual waitress, to come and fill his coffee mug.

  “Heya, handsome. Flying solo today?”

  Always. “The guys will be here soon.”

  “Great. See ya in a few.” She carried her coffee pot away.

  Dan stared into the dark drink. Dark. Winter. Why was Valentine’s Day in winter? He thought back to all the effort he’d put into doing something special for Sharon. This year it fell on a Friday. This year, he’d be working and going home—alone. For the second time since Sharon left him.

  Left him? Yeah. Abandoned. Not good enough. She went to a better lover. And in some ways he resented both Sharon and God for that. A widower he was acquainted with online often said his wife “ran away with Jesus.” How could a man not be jealous that God took his wife? And maybe even angry that his wife so willingly went.

  Sharon didn’t have a choice. The aneurism that took her life was like a stealth bomber. She never knew what hit her when it exploded in her brain.

  Tony arrived and soon Simon and Nick. Coffee mugs filled as greetings were exchanged and Clarisse took their orders. She probably had them memorized since they’d been meeting for years in this spot.

  Simon talked about some health concerns and the men prayed over him. Nick’s wife was struggling with the cold and isolation her illness caused, and he was too. Tony was excited about a new baby on the way and struggling with what to do for Valentine’s Day since it was the busiest day for his restaurant and the anniversary of when he proposed. Way too soon the focus turned to Dan.

  “How’s it been being back to work?” Simon asked. “Inquiring minds want to know.”

  Dan grinned. “I got sick…I haven’t been in the office much, and so far I’m buried under a sea of e-mails and voice messages. Staff meeting yesterday. My days were short with recovering from the flu. Today’s the first day I’ve felt relatively normal.” He pointed his fork at his plate. “And hungry.”

  “Does talk of Valentine’s Day bother you?”

  Dan sat back to think on it. “Honestly? Yes. I don’t begrudge any of you—your love, your families, your struggles. This will be my second one without Sharon. We really never did much to celebrate, but in hindsight, even though she said she didn’t need that…I was wrong to believe her.”

  “So self-flagellation is on your calendar for Friday?” Simon asked.

  “Maybe…”

  “Have you thought about dating?” Nick tilted his head as he asked the question.

  Dan sighed. “No. Yes. It’s just the who and how. I was married before I became a pastor, but to navigate this under the microscope of the church is terrifying. Why would any woman even want to do that?”

  “Flying under the radar isn’t possible, is it?” Simon sipped his coffee.

  Dan shrugged. “There are people everywhere who know who I am. I’m not some kind of covert operative with a disguise I can don. Who would want that anyway?”

  “Obviously some of our single ladies would,” Nick joked.

  “I know most of those women. Many sat in my office over the years to pour out their struggles and sorrows. It doesn’t feel right to even consider them as a dating pool. It’s like it crosses a line and the risks are high. I need to be careful with any woman I meet with. Too many sex scandals have rocked the church over the years, and I don’t even want a whiff of that to come from my office, by accident or suspicion.”

  “So the church is your bride?” Tony asked.

  “The church is the Bride of Christ and I adore her. I wouldn’t do anything intentionally to tarnish her image.”

  “Do you wait for God to drop someone in your lap?” Nick’s eyebrows wiggled.

  “I don’t know. I’m not even sure if I’m ready.” He sipped his coffee. “But I am lonely. Not missing Sharon so much as missing having someone in my corner, who understands me, and doesn’t look at me through rose-colored glasses.”

  “We’ll pray God will answer that prayer.” Tony placed a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Let’s pray for you now…”

  ~*~

  Dan headed back to church. He grabbed his mail and took it to his office and started to leaf through the pile. An envelope with a sticky note on it came from Andrew. You need to see this.

  Tossing the rest on the desk he plopped into his chair and opened the envelope. It was a magazine and the front cover was a painting that looked very much like—him. He stared at the work. It was beautiful. Surely, that wasn’t him though? He looked inside to see the artist.

  It was Skye.

  Skye painted him this way?

  When? He never sat for this but…the eyes. He used to be made fun of in school for the stars on his pupils. It was a rare thing. Of course, Skye, being an artist would notice that detail. Not many people looked him straight in the eye, they were too busy trying to hide their shame from God to face him when they sat across from him for counseling. Well, except for some of the women.

  He tossed the magazine on the desk. He didn’t know whether to be angry or honored. Why hadn’t she told him? He groaned. Great. Now people would think he was only a handsome guy and not someone who could preach, counsel, and lead. Maybe he should stop working out. Put on a few pounds. Grow a shaggy beard. Try to look less like that image staring back at him from the cover of that rag.

  No. He liked working out. It relieved stress and he needed the stamina to do his job. His body was a resource to be stewarded as much as the church budget, and the people who served. Not neglected or abused.

  The phone rang.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thought you’d like to be aware that Amy and Skye will be here tomorrow night at six,” Mary Beth reported.

  “I’ll make myself scarce.”

  “Might be wise. I don’t want to break up a catfight.”

  “Seriously? You think they’ll go tooth and nail over me?”

  “Probably not, but women…well, there’s a reason you hired me, right? Because neither you nor Andrew wanted the sole burden of dealing with this messy stuff.”

  Dan laughed. “Mary Beth, you are a jewel. Thanks for wading into this.”

  “Anytime, Dan. That’s what we do here as staff. Look out for each other. Have each other’s backs when the slings and arrows come. Never anticipated having to fight off Cupid’s arrows aimed for you.”

  “Just in time for Valentine’s Day.”
>
  “Yeah. Praying for you as you head into year number two with that. Remember that anniversaries of special occasions can be hard.”

  “I’m aware. I do counseling as well.”

  “Yeah, but sometimes we neglect to give ourselves the same compassion we extend to others.”

  “Touché.”

  He hung up the phone. There was work to be done and the church budget process headed the list. Still, he’d rather deal with that as opposed to being in the midst of the issues that emerged at times between women. He never did quite get it. They were all on the same team after all.

  ~*~

  Titus stopped by and Sandi agreed to come watch the kids while he took Skye out to get new car seats.

  “Hey. You ready?” Titus held the door open for her as she pulled herself up into the cab of his truck.

  They stopped at department store and Titus grabbed the cart. “Where to?”

  “This way. I really appreciate your help with this.”

  “I felt bad for what happened to you. How is your insurance working out?”

  “They totaled the car, and I should have the check tomorrow. Friday might be the earliest I can consider purchasing anything.”

  “Craigslist is a good place to look unless you want to go to a dealership. What are you looking for? Do you have a price range?”

  She gave him the amount of her check and he frowned. “It’s not much, Titus, but it’s all I have. Hopefully my art will start making me money but being self-employed, I can’t get a loan for a car. I don’t have steady enough income for that. I wouldn’t want the debt when I’m not sure I could make the payments.”

  “You want a small car like you had or a mini-van?”

  “I’m fine with a sedan. It’s just me and the two kids, and the gas mileage is better.”

  “Sometimes we have cars donated to our Garage Ministry, but we don’t have anything right now. Let me take a look and I’ll let you know if I find anything in your price range. Maybe Friday we could go take a look at one or two.”

  “Not Friday. It’s Valentine’s Day,” Skye protested.

  “I’m not dating anyone right now, so Friday is just another day for me…unless you have plans?” He swung the cart down the aisle to the baby department.

  “No plans but also no sitter. My mom has plans.”

  “Saturday I’m working the wrecker. Got anyone else who could help if I fed you the info?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll see.” She sighed.

  He walked beside her as they strode down to the car seats and cribs. She quickly selected her items. The tall man next to her was ruggedly handsome, but he reminded her too much of her ex. Titus was all that was courtesy, and she had great admiration for those who could handle the mechanics of a car, even with dirt under their fingernails. He cleaned up nice. She just couldn’t envision him in her life or as a father to her kids.

  What am I thinking? I’m not on the prowl for a man. Still, the fact that he had come to help her out showed either a kind heart, like Dan’s, or an ulterior motive, like her ex.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Why are you helping me?”

  Titus stopped and looked at her. “The truth?”

  “Yes. Please.”

  “My dad abandoned my mom when I was just a kid. She worked hard and struggled to make ends meet and keep me out of trouble. Trust me when I tell you that was a full-time job in and of itself.” Titus shrugged and they started walking again. “Since I’ve grown up and have skills with cars, I took over the ministry at church to help single moms when they had auto needs. I understand how important it is to own a reliable vehicle, get food, transport the kids, get to work, and get help when you need it. Dan oversees the ministry.

  He, along with others from church, have taught me that being a man is about helping others, and that a man of God treats women with respect. Single moms aren’t often given respect, as my own mother found out. Dan pointed me your way because you needed help. I felt bad when I realized what had happened to your car and promised myself I would do what I could to give you a hand.”

  “That’s it?”

  “Pretty much. You’re important to God…He gave me the opportunity to help with the gifts He’s given me. Accept the blessing, Skye. I’m not hitting on you.”

  Warmth flooded her cheeks. “I wasn’t…”

  “Yes, you were. Someone hurt you, and now you’re cautious. As you should be. But you’re also an attractive woman. I respect the fact that you aren’t trying to jump into a relationship and even put me off with the car thing. Trust me. I’m not after you. But—” He held up a hand, “—I would like to be your friend if you’ll let me.”

  All she could manage was a nod. What kind of faith was it that made men act like this? Then she recalled Amy…and sighed. Obviously, some people weren’t changed all at once. She wondered what that meeting was going to be like.

  Titus dropped her off and helped her lug the car seats to her apartment.

  “Thanks again, Titus. I appreciate all you’ve done to help.”

  He looked at her with chocolate-truffle eyes. “You don’t get it, do you?”

  “Get what?”

  “God loves you, Skye.” He winked at her and took off down the stairs.

  Skye stood there for a moment. God loves me? Dan said that too. But that didn’t make her worth all this effort. She was nothing special compared to other single moms out here. So why her?

  She turned to walk into the house and her kids greeted her with hugs.

  Because you are mine.

  SIXTEEN

  Friends...they cherish one another’s hopes.

  They are kind to one another’s dreams.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Skye was up late searching for a car and thought she finally found one. She e-mailed Titus about it to ask if it looked good. He said he would go check it out for her on Saturday in between towing calls. It was Thursday and she survived the long walk to the YMCA, but was so cold. She really needed a car. She changed and made her way to her Zumba class. Dan was just getting off the treadmill.

  “Hey, Skye. Did you get a car?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet. Titus’s going to check up on one for me.”

  “You could’ve called. I’d have…given…you…”

  “And compromise?”

  “It is deadly cold out there. That constitutes an emergency. I’ll give you a lift home when you’re done. I need to talk to you about something anyway. Got time for a coffee?”

  She looked at those spectacular eyes. How had she painted them without realizing how unusual they were? He wasn’t smiling. Something was off with him today. “Sure. Thanks. That would be great.” She gave him a wave and headed to her classroom.

  ~*~

  After class, she headed to the shower, but kept her hair from getting wet. At least she wouldn’t stink when she met with Dan.

  And why would I care about that?

  She told herself that it was only because it was cold outside and she didn’t have time to dry her hair and didn’t want to go out with a wet head.

  And she didn’t want to make Dan wait for her. Surely, he needed to get back to work. He was supposed to be at the church, wasn’t he?

  He waited for her in the lobby and gave her a nod as she came up beside him. “Ready to brave the elements?”

  “Much easier to face when it’s not the entire walk home.”

  They hit the frigid air and soon were sitting in his car. It barely warmed before they got to the coffee shop. They ran inside and Dan went to get them both a drink while she sat at a small table, shivering. Soon a hot mug was in her hands and she savored the warmth. She hadn’t even taken off her coat.

  “What did you want to talk about?”

  “This.” He placed a large manila envelope on the table. He pulled out a magazine cover and slid it her way.

  Her eyes grew big. “Oh! I didn’t realize they we
re going to put that on the front cover. It was supposed to be an inside story.” She looked at up at his frown. One eyebrow arched upward. Her shoulders slumped. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t even realize that it was you until my mother pointed it out to me.”

  “What gave it away?”

  “Your eyes.”

  He shook his head. “You’re an artist. You’re aware of details like that. You really didn’t know you were painting a portrait of me?” Anger laced his voice.

  Skye looked into those eyes shooting darts more than stars. “My painting is different now and I don’t understand some of the images that emerge on the canvas. This was one of them. The first. I used to have a firm vision of what I was going to paint, but now it’s as if someone else holds the brush and it’s not me. I won’t deny I painted it. I did. I remember every brush stroke. I didn’t realize what the finished product was going to be until it was you staring me in the face, and even then I denied it to myself. ‘It’s a man that looks like my neighbor.’ Or I’d say, ‘he inspired it but it’s not really him.’ Dan, I’m sorry. I deceived myself. The painting sold and I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t understand what it meant.”

  “What do you mean, you ‘didn’t know what it meant?’” His eyes softened and the scowl was gone.

  “Painting has been therapy. Release. But lately, it’s been spiritual. I don’t know how to describe it other than that. You told me to read John. Light. Love. It’s all there in my work.” She chanced a glance at him. “But it never was before.”

  He looked down at his mug and back up at her. “I’m sorry I got angry. It’s just…I’m tired of people looking at me as the pretty boy.” His voice went high, ‘You should be a model not a pastor.’”

  She giggled. “Your good looks are a curse?”

  “Maybe. Listen, I married before I became a pastor and it kept the women from pursuing me. Well, most of the time. But now with Sharon gone, and this image out there? I don’t want to be loved because of my looks. Or that I’m a pastor. I want a woman who will see me for who I am inside.” He leaned back in his chair. “You were right, you know.”