Karma

by Sandrine Gasq-Dion

  Jordan stepped out of the way as Mark entered the room. Stefan stood and stretched his back out.

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Stefan admitted.

  “I can’t leave this man for two seconds.” Mark shook his head.

  “Stay with him, please?” Stefan asked.

  “I am.”

  Mark sat next to the bed and took Paul’s hand. Earlier, he’d only been gone five minutes to get something to eat when Paul went crazy in the hallway. Now he was going to stay right next to the bed until Paul was on the road to recovery. More than once during the night he had awakened to Paul calling his name and crying.

  “I’m here, Paul.” Mark kissed him softly.

  “Mark.”

  “It’s okay now, Paul, relax. I’m not leaving, I promise.” Mark ran a hand through Paul’s hair. He watched as Paul’s body relaxed and he was quiet again. He held his hand and put his head down on the bed.

  Stefan came in and shook Mark lightly. “Has he been sleeping?”

  “Not really. He talks, says my name a lot.”

  “He loves you, Mark. He’s in love with you.”

  “I know, but I can’t — I kissed Tanner. I was unfaithful. I love him, more than anything and I want him to be happy.”

  “You’re the one he’s meant to be with, Mark. He wouldn’t have married you where he did, when he did, if he didn’t love you. People make mistakes and feelings get hurt. It’s not too late, Mark.”

  “I have to let him go. I love him so much.”

  “He loves you more than you know, Mark. He loves Josh, but he’s in love with you; he always was.” Stefan smiled and kissed Mark’s forehead. “Take good care of my son.” Stefan winked.

  ~*~

  Tanner woke up to a semi-lit room. Josh hadn’t woken up yet and Tanner decided it was time for a bathroom break. Josh was still pale, and Tanner dropped a kiss on his temple. He began to move and Josh’s hand covered his.

  “Tanner?”

  “Josh? You’re awake! Let me get the nurse.”

  “No, wait.” Josh reached for his hand. “Please.”

  Tanner came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. “I was so scared, baby.”

  Josh squeezed his hand. “Love you … always.”

  Josh’s eyes fluttered closed and Tanner hit the nurse call button. Jordan arrived seconds later and assessed Josh, along with his surgical doctor.

  “I’m going to take him down and run some tests. I’ll bring him back in a little bit.”

  “Tanner, please?” Josh reached for his hand.

  “Can I go?” Tanner asked.

  “Yes, you can go with us.”

  ~*~

  Paul opened his eyes and looked around. Mark was in a chair and his head was on the bed. He ran his hands through Mark’s hair. He was so sweet when he slept. Paul’s heart ached; he missed Mark so much, loved him so much it hurt just as physically as the gunshot had. He just wanted him back.

  “Hey, you’re awake.” Mark stretched out his arms.

  “So are you. You’re here.”

  “Of course I’m here. We’re still married, Paul. I’m responsible for you.” Mark knew that was a lie. He was here because he loved Paul. He always would. And he couldn’t sign the annulment papers. He just couldn’t.

  “Is that all?” Paul searched his eyes. He missed Mark so much. He just wanted to be with him, love him. Paul pulled Mark in, kissed him softly and Mark’s arms wrapped around him, deepening the kiss. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”

  Mark missed Paul’s kisses. He never wanted to stop, but he had to. He wanted Paul so badly, but he had screwed up and now he would pay the consequences. “Well, you’re up. I’m going to get Dr. Youngblood.”

  “Mark!”

  “I’ll be back.”

  Paul rolled over and winced, his stomach was killing him. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. The door opened and Paul glanced up to see Stefan.

  “Well, how do we feel?” Stefan came to the side of the bed and took Paul’s hand.

  Paul broke down and Stefan held him as he sobbed.

  “Hey, what’s wrong, besides the obvious?”

  “Mark just left.”

  “I know, I saw him in the hallway.”

  “I need him! He’s everything to me and I tried!”

  “Keep trying. Mark loves you.”

  “He said he didn’t, and I — I can’t be without him.”

  “Paul, Mark is in love with you. I can see the guilt is eating him alive. He feels remorse for being with Tanner in an intimate way and he can’t get past it.”

  “But I did! I love him so much.” Paul put his face in his hands. “I want him back!”

  “Then get him back.” Stefan lifted Paul’s face up. “Whatever it takes, you fight for him, Paul. You and Josh are best friends for life, but Mark? Mark is in your soul.”

  “Will you help me?” Paul pleaded with Stefan. He was like a father to him, had always been there for him.

  “I’ll do whatever I can, Paul. You’re like my own child; I love you.” Stefan got up and felt Paul’s hand touch his arm.

  “Thanks … Dad. Is that okay?”

  “You can call me Dad whenever you want.” Stefan hugged him hard. “I’d be honored.”

  ~*~

  Mark finally found Jordan with Josh and Tanner. He waited for them to finish and then he pulled Jordan aside.

  “Paul’s awake.”

  “Okay, I’ll go check on him.”

  “Mark?”

  Mark turned toward Josh’s voice. He entered the room and took a seat next to the bed. Tanner excused himself and Mark sat quietly. He wanted to apologize for his behavior with Tanner, but didn’t know where to begin.

  “I’m sorry, Mark. I should never have acted on my feelings that night. Paul is your husband and no matter what, he loves you. He will always love you.”

  “He loves you too, Josh.”

  “Not the way he loves you, Mark, and he never will. Paul and I are connected and always will be, but it’s not like his connection to you. You are in his very soul, Mark. He loves you more than anything in this world.”

  “I — it’s too late, Josh. I made a huge mistake and I can never take it back. Paul deserves better. I didn’t trust him and look where it led us. I can’t fix it and I can’t bear to make him stay with me.”

  “You’re not making him do anything! He wants to be with you, can’t you see that? I can, and Tanner can see that you want Paul back. Why are you fighting this so hard?”

  “I cheated! I hurt him and I hurt you and Tanner!” Mark began to cry and couldn’t stop. “Oh God! I have to go.” Mark ran from the room.

  “Mark, wait!” Josh sat up in bed. “Oh fuck!” Josh held his chest.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Tanner ran in and came to the side of the bed and sat next to Josh. “You talked to him?”

  “Paul has his work cut out for him. We need to help. Are you okay?”

  “I’m not the one who got shot. How are you?”

  “Sore.”

  “When they told me, I was terrified you were dead. I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too, Tanner.”

  “You feeling okay?”

  “You going to be my nurse?” Josh winked.

  “I’ll take care of you.” Tanner kissed him softly.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jeremy, Anthony and Robert spoke to the police and the local District Attorney. He planned on prosecuting Paul for killing John, and Jeremy wasn’t having it.

  “Go ahead, but you will lose. You want that on your record?”

  “I suggest you rethink your intentions. Not only will you have all of Mr. Reynolds’ firm on your ass, plus the power of the DA in New York, but I’ll hire the very best lawyer to make sure Mr. Greystone never sees the inside of a courtroom,” Robert added.

  Stefan paced nervously. His inner mob-man wanted to take care of business the old-style way. Jordan took his hand and sat him down.r />
  “It won’t happen, babe. There are too many forces protecting Paul.”

  “If it does ...”

  “Then we will do whatever it takes to get him out of it.” Jordan squeezed Stefan’s hand.” Besides, the autopsy report shows Damon’s shot was the fatal wound, not Paul’s.”

  The police left with the DA and Robert approached with Jeremy and Anthony.

  “They are dropping it.”

  “Oh, thank God,” Stefan breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you all so much for this.”

  “The DA never stood a chance. Everyone at the club would testify that Damon shot John in self-defense. I already have all their statements. Paul’s shots were post-mortem.”

  “And what about Damon?”

  “In the clear.” Robert smiled.

  “Thank you so much.” Stefan hugged all three of them.

  “Paul is like my son, Stefan. I know you know how that feels.” Jeremy smiled.

  “Yes, I do.”

  *~~~*

  Josh eyed a sleeping Tanner in the chair next to the bed. His slow, even breaths came out softly. He looked angelic. Josh ran his fingers through his soft hair and sighed. He had almost sabotaged his entire relationship with Tanner because he wouldn’t let him in fully. Now he had opened up completely and as scary as it was, it felt good. Tanner opened his eyes.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Come here,” Josh whispered.

  Tanner crawled into the bed with Josh and carefully snuggled into him. Josh wrapped his arms around him and Tanner sighed.

  Josh lifted Tanner’s face and their eyes locked.

  “I’m in love with you.”

  “I know, Josh, you told me.”

  “No. I’m in love with you, Tanner.”

  Tanner searched Josh’s face and the reality of what he was saying hit him like a truck.

  “You let me in,” Tanner sobbed.

  “I’ll never let you out.” Josh pulled him in tighter.

  ~*~

  Over the next few weeks Mark moved back into the apartment to take care of Paul fulltime. It was hard. He wanted to hug and kiss Paul and he couldn’t. Paul, on the other hand, was constantly trying to kiss him but he always pulled away. He couldn’t do it, no matter how much he wanted to. He was ashamed that he had broken his marriage vows. He had promised Paul’s parents he would be a good husband and at the first sign of trouble he had run off and kissed his ex-boyfriend.

  He watched Paul sleep, tossing and turning even under medication and he had violent nightmares. Mark tried so hard to comfort him and the only thing that worked was crawling into bed with Paul and holding him. This was one of those times. Paul was crying in his sleep and Mark held him tight.

  “It’s okay, Paul, I’m here.” Mark held him tight and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Love you, Mark.” Paul nestled further into his husband.

  “Oh, Paul.” Mark held him and tried to remain in control of his emotions.

  “Promised … never leave me …”

  Mark cried. Even under sedation, Paul would talk to him. He was going to have to break that promise. He loved Paul and he should have never given into his fears. Now he had to make sure Paul was happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

  “I love you, Paul. I will always love you. You gave me my self-esteem. The night we met I knew, somehow, that you were it for me. But I still screwed it up.”

  Mark cried until he had nothing left. He kissed Paul softly and Paul’s arms tightened around him, pulling him in further. The kiss intensified and Mark tried to hold onto his sanity.

  “Please, Mark …”

  Mark had no idea if Paul was awake or asleep, but the kiss was scorching. Paul rolled on top of him and Mark opened his eyes to see Paul’s green ones staring back at him.

  “You’re awake,” Mark whispered.

  Paul crushed their lips together and then they were making love.

  “We belong together, Mark. We always did, always will. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”

  Paul made love to him slowly; he wanted it to last. The pain in his stomach slowly subsided as he made love to his husband. He was inside Mark, they were kissing and he had Mark in his arms — that was all that mattered. They had been apart for almost six months and Paul wanted to keep him close and never let him go. They both came hard, crying out and holding onto each other with everything they had. Mark remained still for a bit, waiting for Paul’s breathing to even out. When it finally did, he kissed his forehead and left quietly.

  ~*~

  Paul woke up and realized he was alone. He rolled over to see Mark’s side of the bed empty.

  “Mark?”

  Paul got up slowly and searched the apartment. He found a note on the counter. He opened it and read the words, his heart breaking with each one. The pain was crushing him and he fell to his knees. He couldn’t breathe. Oh God. He fumbled for his phone and dialed Stefan.

  “Paul?”

  “I need help, Dad. Please?”

  “I’m on my way.” Stefan hung up, and looked at Jordan. “Something’s wrong with Paul.”

  “Medically?”

  “No, I think it’s heart-related.” Stefan kissed Jordan. “I’ll be back.”

  Stefan arrived at the apartment and found the door unlocked, he ran through looking for Paul. He found him in the bathroom hugging the toilet, vomiting as his whole body shook.

  “Oh God, what is it?” Stefan was on the floor in seconds, stroking Paul’s back.

  “He left me, he promised he’d never leave. But he left.” Paul felt the urge to vomit hit him again and he turned to the toilet.

  “Okay, calm down, we’ll find him.” Stefan got a cold washcloth and put it on Paul’s forehead.

  “It hurts … so much. Can’t breathe.”

  “I know, but you have to calm down, Paul, or you’ll end up like Damon when he thought Tyler was dead.” Stefan lifted his face up. “Nice deep breaths; come on, Paul.”

  Paul tried to calm down, but the thought of Mark leaving him, the idea that he had no idea where he was, made it impossible. He had told Paul not to look for him.

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. If you end up in the hospital you can’t help me find Mark. Now, come on. I can find him, I promise you that. I’ll put all my resources into it, okay? Just calm down. Look at me and concentrate.”

  Paul took deep breaths and tried to calm himself as best as he could. As soon as he nodded, Stefan helped him up.

  “Come on, get dressed. We have a husband to find.”

  ~*~

  Mark had taken a flight to Ireland. He wanted to be where he and Paul had been happy. He knew he was being stupid, but he had broken his vows to Paul and he just couldn’t forgive himself for it. Even when Paul had begged him to work things out, he had pushed him away, and now he had broken yet another promise and left Paul. He entered the gardens where they had gotten married and felt the breeze blow through his hair.

  “I still love him, more now than ever. I wish I could change what I did, but I can’t. I just hope Paul will be happy. I want you to know I’ll always love him, more than my life.”

  Mark looked out at the water and smiled at the memory of their wedding night; he had never been so happy. He had married the man of his dreams and they talked about kids. Now, he had ruined everything. Music floated on the wind and then Paul’s voice accompanied it. He knew the song; it was Bryan Adams’ “When You Love Someone.”

  Mark turned to see a tuxedo-clad Paul exiting the building, holding a microphone.

  “Oh my God.”

  Paul stopped in front of him as he sang. Mark had never been serenaded. Paul’s fingers lightly brushed his cheek, wiping away the tears that were fallen. He finished the song and took Mark into his arms.

  “Oh God, I love you. I’m so sorry, Paul. I’m so sorry.” Mark hung on tight.

  “I’m sorry, too. We belong together, Mark, we always have.” Paul put Mark’s hand over
his heart. “I can’t breathe without you.”

  “I don’t want to lose you. I lied, I’m so sorry. I just want you to be happy.”

  “The only way I will ever be happy is with you.” Paul kissed him softly.

  “You forgive me?”

  “Nothing to forgive; I made mistakes, too.” Paul pulled Mark into his arms and a large gust of wind blew between them. “See, we belong together.”

  Mark hung on to Paul and finally let everything go. This is where he belonged. He was meant to spend the rest of his life with this man. “I love you.” Mark noticed a man in a robe leaving the building.

  “What? Who?” Mark glanced up at Paul.

  “We’re renewing our vows. This is our chance to start fresh. I love you, Mark, and I want you for the rest of my life. I want to have tons of kids and tons of grandkids and grow old with you.”

  “I love you, Paul, and I want that, too.”

  They faced each other in front of the pastor, joined their hands and took their vows.

  “No matter what, we are meant to be. I’ll never let you go, Mark. You are in my very soul.”

  “I promise to love you for the rest of my life. I will never leave you again. As God as my witness, I will make sure we’re together no matter what obstacles life throws at us. I trust you with my heart and soul. You are my life, Paul.”

  Paul pulled Mark to him and crushed their lips together, he wanted it to last forever. They had a second chance and Paul was never letting him go again.

  “I love you. Now, let’s go to the house so I can show you. Never again — you will never leave me and I will never leave you.”

  “Until I take my last breath.” Mark kissed him softly.

  Paul took him to the cottage. He carried Mark through the door and laid him gently on the bed. Paul lit candles, put some music on and undressed.

  “What are you doing?” Mark asked.

  “You said you wanted candles and music for your first time. We are starting over, Mark, and I’m going to make love to you. I’m in love with you, Mark Greystone. You and no one else.”

  Mark didn’t know whether to scream or cry. It was like their first time. Paul was moving slowly and kissing him, his hands on his face, then in his hair and then they were everywhere. His slow, even movements were driving him crazy. He would pull out slowly, then push in hard, speed up and bring Mark to the brink, only to slow down and then start all over again, all while stroking Mark’s cock. He ran his hands up Paul’s biceps and the muscles tensed with every thrust. Mark sighed in bliss as Paul finally came, roaring his name. He followed seconds later.