A Daring Journey

by Jeanne St. James

  “And tonight?”

  “He was invited.”

  “For?”

  “A discussion about how to proceed.” As Damon’s dark eyebrows lowered even more, Mac hurried on. “I saw... see how much he loves you... still and how much he wishes for you to give him a second chance.”

  Finally, Trevor spoke up. “And I also couldn’t ignore what you saw in Mac. We’ve always had the same taste in men or women. Am I right?”

  Damon’s brow was still furrowed as he now stared at Trevor. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “While I was here, Mac was having an issue with a knot. In her muscles.”

  “Oh, and you were so kind to relieve her of that knot?”

  “He was,” Mac cut in.

  Damon stared at her for too long of a moment. “And one thing led to another?”

  “Not quite,” Trevor muttered, scrubbing his hands down his face. He twisted on the couch until he faced Damon. “We felt a little attraction to each other—”

  “A little?”

  “Okay, a lot,” Trevor confessed. “And we talked about it.”

  “Ah, yes, communication is key,” Damon bit off.

  “And I felt bad that I put you in this situation.”

  “There is no situation. I’m interested in MacKenzie.” His dark eyes suddenly pinned her in her chair. “Or was.”

  “If you weren’t any longer, you wouldn’t be sitting here,” Trevor said quietly.

  “Then can you two get to the crux of why I’m sitting here?”

  Chapter 14

  This could be it. Damon could get pissed and storm out. Trevor snuck a glance at Mac, whose face was paler than normal.

  She should be the one leading this thing. It had been her idea after all, even though he agreed it was a good one.

  Damon might consider the idea more seriously coming from her. He was afraid Damon would just say no if Trevor suggested it. He’d shut down the idea before even considering it.

  He lifted a brow at Mac, whose lips twitched nervously. But she pulled the confidence from deep down inside when she turned to address Damon. “We figured you could date us both.”

  Damon’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. He rubbed the tip of his thumb over his forehead as he stared at Mac. “I don’t understand.”

  “Think about it, we’re just getting to know each other. Of course, that could continue. You and Trevor could also work on fixing things between the two of you, if you’re willing to do that.”

  “At the same time?” A look of confusion crossed his face. “I’m still not sure I understand what you’re saying. Do you mean one night I’d be on a date with Trevor, the next I’d be seeing you?”

  “Well...”

  Damn. Trevor needed to step in before this went sour. “Yes, it could be that way, but we also came up with another option.”

  “You mean like me just seeing MacKenzie and you going on about your life?”

  Trevor tried to hide his disappointment. “No. Mac suggested us both seeing you. Us exploring each other.”

  “Exploring each other,” Damon echoed in a whisper. He reached out, picked up his abandoned drink and downed half of it.

  “We could date separately, but also together,” Mac said, her eyes glued to Damon’s glass as he lifted it once more and gulped the remainder. “I made that pretty strong.”

  “Not strong enough,” Damon answered as he slapped the empty glass back down on the coffee table. “Because I swear I heard you suggest a... a ménage between the three of us? Like in bed?”

  “And out of bed,” Trevor quickly added.

  “That’s what the two of you want?”

  “It was an idea,” Mac said, pressing a hand to her flaming cheek.

  Damon stared at her. “You want to have sex with two men at the same time?”

  “You never considered it for yourself?” she countered.

  Damon snapped his gaping mouth shut and sat back on the couch, staring at his hands, which were now fisted in his lap.

  No one said a word for the longest, most uncomfortable time.

  He finally lifted his head and pinned his gaze on Trevor, whose heart was beating furiously. “We joked about it, fantasized about it, but we never brought in a third.”

  “Now we have that chance,” Trevor whispered, reaching out to grab one of his clenched fists.

  Damon pulled it out of his reach. “Only if I allow you back into my life. When I came here today, I had made my decision not to do that, Trevor. I wanted to continue seeing Mac.”

  “Now that can continue.” Fuck, Damon was going to cut him off.

  “But you want me to share her with you.”

  “And I share you with her.”

  “And I share the two of you,” Mac added, in a sort of helpful manner.

  “This is insane. Am I being punked? Because it sure feels like it.”

  “If you’re not interested, then you’re not interested,” Mac said firmly, surprising Trevor with her moxie. “So choose.”

  He winced. Oh, damn. If Damon was forced to choose, Trevor would be on the losing end, he just knew it. What was she doing?

  Trevor tensed as Damon opened his mouth to answer. This is where it all ended. His second chance with Damon was over. Finished. Kaput. They had gone about this the wrong way.

  Damon said so softly, “I can’t choose,” that Trevor shook his head wondering if he just imagined what he heard.

  “What? Did you say something?” Trevor asked. “I think I missed it.”

  “You didn’t miss it,” Damon said louder. “You know exactly what I said.”

  “If you can’t, then this is the perfect solution,” Mac said in a no-nonsense fashion, which once again surprised Trevor. The woman blushed at the drop of a pin, to hear her now made him realize she was stronger than he thought.

  Damon stared at her. “I can’t believe you’re interested in this.”

  She frowned. “Why? Why can’t I? Why can’t I like sex as much as any man? Why can’t I be selfish and have two men of my very own? Two men to see to my needs?”

  Shit, now she was getting angry, which might not help the situation. Before Trevor could intervene, Damon spoke, “What you’re proposing isn’t like Big Love or Sister Wives, MacKenzie.”

  “No, you’re right, it’s not. The man in the middle doesn’t have sex with all his wives at once. They take turns. That means there are many nights where one of the wives misses out. That could spur jealousy and competition.”

  Trevor stared at Mac. Had she done more research than just talking with her friend, Gia, and her family?

  “But even if I agreed to give this a try, there would be many nights I’m away because of my job. Then what? I’m off working and you two are being intimate without me?”

  Trevor hoped Mac had a good answer for that.

  “Yes.”

  Fuck. That wasn’t the answer he was hoping for.

  Mac wasn’t done. “And there would be times that you and I spend exclusive time together.” She swung a hand in Trevor’s direction. “Or you and Trevor. It happens in every polyamory relationship, unless it’s decided in advance that it’s unacceptable. Clear ground rules are vital.”

  Damn. She did do more research.

  “Polyamory,” Damon repeated, almost as if rolling the word around in his mouth, tasting it.

  Trevor waited for him to spit it out like a watermelon seed.

  He didn’t. Instead, he said to Trevor, “I wouldn’t be able to concentrate knowing you were fucking her behind my back.”

  “It wouldn’t be behind your back. It would be with your permission. Just like I would give you permission to fuck Mac when I’m not around. And so on...”

  “I would never stop you two from having intimate moments together if I’m not around, Damon. I don’t think that would be fair,” Mac said.

  “I think in the beginning we would all have to be together during those times. Maybe later... when...” Damon c
overed his face with his hands and let out a loud groan. Dropping his hands, he said, “Am I crazy? I’m actually considering this.”

  Trevor jerked his chin up at Mac and then used a roll of his eyes to communicate to Mac to come sit between them. This “everybody in their own corners” thing was for the freaking birds. If they were going to have sex together, they needed to move this forward. A physical connection needed to be established between the three of them. Maybe then it would take away some of Damon’s doubts.

  But would Damon be willing to take that step forward today?

  Trevor’s heart began to race and his cock began to rise. Would he finally get to be with Damon again? He hadn’t been sure that would ever be possible. And maybe because of the woman who was rounding the coffee table, it could be. But, again, he was agreeing to share the man he loved with her.

  Could he really stomach that when it came down to it?

  Instead of sitting between them, she stopped in front of Damon and held out her hand. He stared at it as if undecided. She kept it out there as she held out her right hand to Trevor.

  He didn’t hesitate and took it while rising to his feet. Her hand gripped his tightly and he could feel the slight shake. Well, he had one, too.

  This could end up working out well or it could end up being a disaster.

  “Damon,” he whispered a plea.

  Trevor’s heart squeezed as Damon tentatively reached out and took Mac’s hand. She didn’t step back as he stood, instead she tugged Trevor’s hand, drawing him closer.

  The three of them stood so close, their feet were touching.

  Trevor released a shuddered breath in anticipation.

  Someone had to make the first move. They couldn’t just stand there all night holding hands.

  “What do we do?” Damon asked. Trevor had never seen his former lover so unsure of himself before. He was always confident, carrying an air of power.

  “Whatever comes naturally,” Trevor answered.

  “There’s nothing natural about this,” Damon murmured, looking from Trevor to Mac.

  “Says who?” Mac asked. “We can make our own rules, follow our own desires. No one but us can stand in our way.”

  “Are you sure about this?” Damon asked her.

  She smiled, suddenly the most confident person in the room. “I am now.”

  Damon stood in the center of Mac’s bedroom, taking it all in. She only had a queen-sized bed and he wondered how any of this was going to work.

  The sex. The exploration. The possible relationship.

  In one way, he couldn’t believe he agreed, though he still had time to back out since no one was even naked yet. In another way, he couldn’t imagine this not happening now that they were upstairs. The more he imagined himself with not only Trevor but with Mac at the same time, the more his blood raced.

  In the past, the sex with Trevor and him had come easily. They knew each other’s likes and dislikes. Well, until Trevor began to beg to be abused, then things got uncomfortable. Before then, they meshed perfectly from the beginning.

  The sex with Mac had been spectacular and he couldn’t get her out of his head, not only since the moment he met her, but the desire for the redhead had become more intense since Saturday.

  But, admittedly, he couldn’t get Trevor out of his thoughts, either.

  That had bothered him. He’d been torn between his love for Trevor, which remained deeply seated and undeniable, along with his inability to forget what Trevor did, and his sudden spark for MacKenzie.

  In the end, he’d decided he wanted a chance with Mac and didn’t want to screw that up. But finding his former lover in her home...

  He’d been devastated. He thought his heart was going to be ripped out of his chest once again.

  His expectations of what he thought he and Mac could have together dissipated.

  Now those expectations were back.

  With a catch.

  And that catch was Trevor, who was currently embracing Mac and kissing her so thoroughly that Damon’s cock was rock hard and leaking precum.

  He was waiting for the tinge of jealousy to sweep through him. But, surprisingly, it didn’t, instead he wanted to rush forward and join in. Let them both take turns making her moan, like she was. Her fingers were clutched in Trevor’s shirt, her chest was rising and falling rapidly, as Trevor’s thumbs brushed back and forth over the hard tips that pressed through the fabric of her camisole.

  Trevor was out of breath and his gray eyes dark and hooded as he turned his face toward Damon.

  “I want you to be who you are, Day. I need you to take the lead.”

  “This is new to me.” Damon heard the tremor in his own voice. While some of it may be from trepidation, most of it was from anticipation of what lay ahead.

  “This is new to all of us,” Mac said, her lips parted and slightly swollen from Trevor’s kiss.

  Damon glanced at Trevor. “Is that true, Trev?”

  Something flashed over Trevor’s face, but he quickly hid it. “No, I was in situations where...”

  “You don’t have to discuss it now,” Mac assured him.

  Trevor glanced down at her. “But you’ll have to know eventually.”

  “But not tonight.”

  “Agreed,” Damon said, wanting to relieve his former lover of any embarrassment. “Not tonight. This will be awkward enough, I’m afraid. We’ll have to find our way around each other. Maybe you should take the lead, Trev, since you’ve been with... more than one partner before.”

  Trevor shook his head. “No. I need you to be who you are.”

  “It won’t trigger anything?”

  Trevor hesitated too long for Damon’s liking.

  “Baby,” he asked again more softly this time, “it won’t trigger anything?”

  Trevor’s nostrils flared when Damon used the pet name he called him all those years ago.

  “It shouldn’t.”

  “If it does, we will just change tactics,” Mac said, being the voice of reason. She pulled out of Trevor’s arms and approached Damon. “Now, Trevor took my breath away when he kissed me, so I need to borrow yours.” She reached up, hooked her hand around the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss.

  Damon automatically cupped her face as her lips moved along his. Her tongue teased the seam until he opened to her, allowing her to take control for the moment.

  When her tongue swept through his mouth, he pushed back with his and he took over, deepening the kiss, pulling a whimper from the back of her throat.

  His cock was now throbbing, eager to sink into her heat. His intense urge to mark her inside and out made him pause and break the kiss as he gathered his breath. He brushed his thumbs over her flushed cheeks where her freckles practically glowed. Her blue eyes, hazy with desire, met his.

  He lifted his head to see Trevor standing near the bed, his hand pressed to the long hard line of his cock in his jeans. As their eyes met, his desire to mark Trevor the same way as Mac overcame him. He needed to claim Trevor as his once again.

  He would do that tonight. Both Trevor and Mac would belong to him.

  In turn, he would belong to them. Whatever they desired, he would do his best to give them. And he hoped it would be reciprocated and that whatever he asked—or demanded—of Trevor or Mac, they would be willing to do their best to comply.

  But he was scared.

  He was afraid as soon as he kissed and touched Trevor, he would be lost. Be sucked back into total devotion to a man he loved so much. He needed to remember, this wasn’t just him and Trevor. This wasn’t only him and Mac.

  It was the three of them. He couldn’t fall too deeply for either one of them. He needed to keep a careful balance if this was going to work.

  What he had with Mac was new. What he had with Trevor was familiar, even if rusty.

  And it was the same for Trevor.

  They needed to make a conscious effort not to exclude her in any way. She was the reason he was giving Trev
or this second chance. He didn’t want her to regret doing so.

  In truth, he didn’t want any of them to regret this decision. Even though he’d been the last one to know about any of this, Trevor wanted him to lead.

  And right now, there was nothing Damon wanted more, except his desire for the two souls that still stood dressed.

  He wanted to see Mac naked, on her knees, removing Trevor’s shoes before stripping him of the rest of his clothes. The only thing Damon needed to decide was whether it would be him or Trevor to get her in a naked state.

  But before they proceeded, he needed to know... “Do you have condoms and lube?”

  There was no way either Mac or Damon would be intimate with Trevor, after his admittedly self-abusive past, without a condom until the man had a current test. In fact, he’d make sure all three of them would get one done, just to alieve any concerns. But for now, they would be extra safe. This would end right here if they didn’t have what was required.

  “I have a condom in my wallet,” Trevor said, digging it out of his back pocket. “And a small trial packet of lube, but it may not be enough.”

  “We’re going to need more than one condom. I have one in my wallet, too, but no lube.”

  Damon dropped his gaze to Mac, whose ears were a bright red. “I don’t have condoms, but I have a small tube of lube.”

  That would be enough for now. “Where?”

  “In my nightstand.”

  Damon gave his first order, “Trevor, get it.”

  “Wait!” Mac shouted, freezing Trevor in place. “I’ll get it.”

  Trevor’s amused gaze hit Damon’s. “She’s got toys.”

  “Apparently,” Damon murmured. As Mac began to move away from him, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Now you have to wait. I want you naked before you retrieve the lube.” He turned her so her back was to him and she faced Trevor. He leaned close until his mouth was near her ear. “Do you have a problem with me taking the lead and giving orders?”

  Goosebumps appeared all over her skin and she shuddered. “No.”

  “If it gets to be too much, tell me. Remember, open communication.”

  She nodded.