A Fire Upon the Deep

by Vernor Vinge

  * [vsv] Partial SOLN : The “byte count” in Known Net messages is pretty much the same as that of 1990 USENET messages. The newsreader software can use the message data to produce all sorts of advanced effects, based on user inclination and what background the newsreader has about the sender. But what’s coming across the physical layer is still (normally) just a few thousand bits per message. Ravna normally turns off all the evocation bells and whistles, and what she sees is a humanly intelligible, starkly simple rendition of most of the underlying fields (not all; I commented some out at the strenuous urging of jrf).

  * [vsv] [ur] April 21, 1991 PRB IMP still need someplace where the Known Net super WAN is contrasted with “LAN” operations. This is where really spectacular things are possible (so spectacular that you should tread carefully around them). Somewhere could put in an offhand comment that a single finger-ring network interface can easily have a bandwidth greater than all the interstellar communications traffic going through Relay.

  * [vsv] April 21, 1991 IMPER In working out data rates, message rates analogy with Internet, and contrast between Relay op and ship board ops, keep in mind that Relay may be handling a tremendous number of messages, even if the rate on each is low

  * [vsv] [ur] April 21, 1991 ID In addition to crypto-media, there should also be general data media freighters

  * The second sidebar in this file is the more nearly definitive in in format — looks okay to me June 11, 1991

  * stormilation not a good word? — not used here as of 09Feb91

  * [ur] WARNING to vsv. Sidebars should be 1space indented to avoid autoindent prbs

  <- back to text

  Note 148

  * [jdv] Clock Slop IMP Perhaps you should actually talk about translation problems Messages might be less intelligible as they descend

  * [vsv] IMP this message has to be revised because no war

  <- back to text

  Note 149

  * [ur] 11:45:19 Docks Time, 04/09 of Org year 52089 (Clock Slop < 30 seconds)

  <- back to text

  Note 150

  * [ur] [unglossed]:

  <- back to text

  Note 151

  * [jrf] “clenirations” ???

  * [vsv] and some others: inadequate translations; jabberwocky IMP here is a place to bring up the notion of jabberwocky (maybe even resurrect some of the fragments above) This is also bound up with the question of just where Straumli Realm is

  <- back to text

  Note 152

  * [vsv] [ur] FRAG June 12, 1991 following seems like too much an orange herring: (though until our network probelms are resolved, there will be little market for cryptographic media).

  <- back to text

  Note 153

  * [vsv] April 13, 1991 Somewhere MSG? stuff about humanity being far from home (also ties up with origin of Pham)

  April 13, 1991 Suggest that Straumli Realm is <100y old, and was to be “probably the first human Transcending”

  * You may replace the notion of star trader with emigrating to Straumli Realm. Parents had discouraged it … thank goodness now…

  * [vsv] April 13, 1991 “Trader in Fine Earths” “Trader in Rare Earths” IDEA

  <- back to text

  Note 154

  * CHKd sp light-year

  * [vsv] June 9, 1991 CHK 25000 ly (Looks more like 20.4Kly in my map of June 9, 1991

  <- back to text

  Note 155

  * [vsv] [ur] June 11, 1991| AWK and not quite true.

  * [vsv] April 14, 1991 I think I’ve taken care of the jrf2 comment below (though “network hub” may misleading to some readers

  * [jrf2] Can put it in more romantic (ie, adventurous, exciting) terms than this. Eg, “rubbing noses with members of dozens of different sentient alien species…”?

  <- back to text

  Note 156

  * PRB I don’t want to imply that the factories are evidence that she is far from home

  * QU REN Must be better name than City Docks, City Foobar

  For now: Docks

  * QU INCON REN Vrinimi is my attempt at connection with Blabber. But note the substantial difference in physical description

  * [vsv] Given the multiracial character of Vrinimi, this is okay, but CHK Grondr. Was that the name of the guy in Blabber? If so, you should change that name

  * [vsv] Oops, Skandr Vrinimisrinithan is the guy’s name in the Blabber

  * [vsv] You know, it wouldn’t be too terrible to leave it “Skandr”

  June 11, 1991 No, do change it

  * REN you can use Grondr | Grondr Vrinimikalir | Grondr ‘Kalir | ‘Kalir

  * [vsv] No, though there is some implication there:

  * IMP PRO write Get the idea of Org ethics in here and when Grondr is explaining Pham’s secret. It strengthens things in several ways: Makes Org restraint more plausible Makes it more plausible that they did not set Ravna up Makes them seem more alien, especially if contrasted with other behavior that is not too goody-goody (eg, wrt sale of Pham to the Old One)

  * [vsv] ID pejorative nickname for Grondr’s race: maggots

  * [vsv] February 9, 1991 no time:

  * ID IMP Increase opacity of Grondr. This would be especially good if she comes to know him more toward the end of r2 ID Vrinimi: Might make the point that commercial interests one of the great keys, but doesn’t explain everything Eg, when there are irrational other interests When there are rational (but weird) ethicsUltimately, the freedom to be a crank

  <- back to text

  Note 157

  * [jrf2] “terrane”? “terrain”? other?

  * [vsv] February 9, 1991 decided to leave the coloration:

  * [hld] Sky on the docks probably black unless the air is deep enough for significant Rayleigh scattering. How does agrav weave affect superposition of gravitational fields?

  <- back to text

  Note 158

  * [jrf2] Does shrugging make her drift lower?

  <- back to text

  Note 159

  * When did the Org get into the Relay operation? Probably related to their calendar?

  * [vsv] in c07, you say 50Ky

  <- back to text

  Note 160

  * mARK 20Aug89

  <- back to text

  Note 161

  * [vsv] June 12, 1991 by current CHRON , official Fall (from Net) was 4d earlier

  * [jrf2] First sentence after quote is ambiguous:

  <- back to text

  Note 162

  * PRB The cannibalizing from 0’th seems to be making this too heavy? QU

  * [vsv] 02Feb91 sched says they are talking 3 days after the news of the Fall

  <- back to text

  Note 163

  * QU should I say “over-and-back” instead of ping ?

  * [JLC] definitely use it somewhere (VSV: Can’t find usage in this version)

  * iD rEN Helper —> Blight? YES

  iD rEN Helper —> Perversion? YES

  Both of these are probably better than “Helper”, and they both can be used. Unfortunately, the Perversion would probably not use them in reference to itself

  * [vsv] June 9, 1991 Physical mail much cheaper (about 6w turnaround) by my notes of June 9, 1991 — and, in fact, the “half year” savings thing works out pretty well, too

  <- back to text

  Note 164

  * [ur] ?3’th sentence should be more explicit

  * [vsv] QU clearness: grep first usages of “perversion”

  <- back to text

  Note 165

  * RETRO write notion of “Emissary Device” PRO write? NO

  * [vsv] 02Feb91 “five days” CHKd

  <- back to text

  Note 166

  * [jrf2] explain “volume”. Does it mean “area”? Say of the words?

  <- back to text

  Note 167

  * REN “the Vrinimi Organization” “Vrinimi Org”

  <- back to text

  Note 168

&
nbsp; * [jrf2] “almost ten years old” so what?! Explain the problem. SORRY

  <- back to text

  Note 169

  * [vsv] April 14, 1991 A big job, but grep <?!> for gender of pronouns when spoken in Samnorsk, and fix accordingly

  June 11, 1991 Alas, there would be too much uprooting (changing of tone for XX’th USA readers) to try to make such a change at this point. Therefore you should probably remove the play on sex misunderstanding below:

  <- back to text

  Note 170

  * NÆH : ID Use the term “freight device” for the refugee ship?

  <- back to text

  Note 171

  * CHKd sp millennia

  <- back to text

  Note 172

  * [jrf2] “affected by the Depths” How? Meaning what? SORRY

  <- back to text

  Note 173

  * IMP If you go for use of female pronouns, you should be consistent throughout

  * [vsv] CHKd “smoky” sp

  * [vsv] March 23, 1991 probably want to make it clearer, “true-certified”, to reader that Ravna is human NÆH June 11, 1991

  <- back to text

  Note 174

  * [jrf2] suggests “jarring to her than was the outright alienness of some of her coworkers”

  <- back to text

  Note 175

  * [jrf2] why “Ur -human”? — Grondr is making a little mistake, confusing a creature from a primitive region, with the primitive forms of such creatures

  * [vsv] June 12, 1991 CHRON implication I see here is that they “noticed” the dredge records about 12h after 25Jun15988 and that Pham is probably very recently revived as of now 29Jun15988

  <- back to text

  Note 176

  * CHK how you phrased a similar discussion in the “Science Fair” and elsewhere — don’t think it’s in “Science Fair” February 9, 1991

  * CHKd “place-name”

  * [vsv] [ur] CHK INCON 1 ly/day at the bottom

  * CHK INCON 400 b/s v 400 bps v some other number

  June 11, 1991 — deleted such references

  <- back to text

  Note 177

  * [vsv] June 11, 1991 I don’t think this is contradictory as long as you make a distinction between culture and race.

  * INCON relate this 50Ky c06, too) with the other time sizes, eg, Dirokemesin c33, you say Dirokimes have been in Beyond 1e6 years, and may last another 0.5e6 In c26 You say planets destroyed at RIP 10e6 years ago and say that that amount of time is rather long for the longevity of a race Discussion of these issues is consistent in c08 now February 9, 1991

  * FRAG BKG The Relay system was the channel passing information between forty million worlds. Note that this would be in (apparent) conflict with the 100e6 figure in c06 June 11, 1991

  * [JLC] Objects to the term “weave” in connection with agrav

  * [jrf] I like “weave” use

  * [vsv] CHK geometry: Magellanics, Sculptor, Fornax

  09Feb91 From Allen p268, 272-273 and Shu p266, I conclude that are all on the same side of the galactic disk (150, 330, 600 Kly respectively) (IrI,IrI; E; E). I think there would be a good line of sight on all three if Relay is high above the galactic plane and 180 degrees of galactic center longitude from Sol.

  <- back to text

  Note 178

  * [jrf2] explain “agrav weave”

  * QU should make it clearer that this office is a recent perk of her transfer to Grondr? : I think it’s clear

  * CHKd 0.7469 gee at 1000km (Earth reference)

  <- back to text

  Note 179

  * [vsv] June 12, 1991 CHRON CHKd (actually it’s 31 or 32 days maybe)

  <- back to text

  Note 180

  * ID PRB Be nice to mention hot sand, foam in air, etc

  <- back to text

  Note 181

  * FRAG The Nyjoran colony had represented a tiny fragment of the original diversity, though its descendents were all (that they knew) to have made it into the Beyond.

  * CHKd sp smoky

  <- back to text

  Note 182

  * CHKd sp couldn’t find “arm.s.length”

  <- back to text

  Note 183

  * CHKd resuscitation and CHKd date (02Feb91 )

  * [jrf] This is oddly ill at ease here. What went smoothly is unclear. Is this a summation of a scene right after he walks in?

  * [vsv] I think I’ve fixed this January 24, 1991

  CHRON CHKd 02Feb91

  June 12, 1991 3y ‘prenticeship; see also c06 CHKd

  <- back to text

  Note 184

  * [jrf] NO T he wrote under “in some ways” <?>

  * [vsv] I don’t understand

  * [jrf2] I meant he’s weirder because all the aliens are living their natural life spans whereas he’s a fish out of time, etc. Maybe you should say “In one regard…”

  * [vsv] June 11, 1991 I still don’t see that I should change it

  * QU Is this jarring, since I cut away from the Grondr scene before Grondr said this?

  * ID BKG maybe it’s exponentially hard to eavesdrop from the Transcend? This could be one explanation why the Helper or Pham’s controller don’t just listen on their own. However, if you do this then it makes it implausible that Relay would be in communication with the Beyond in Fornax. Possibly, this could explain why only a few sites have such comm (but it could not be solely Relay’s geometry, in that case)

  * REN spell Cheng Ho —> Qeng Ho

  * [vsv] IMP PRB March 17, 1991 onwak: explain how Pham came to be on “this side of the galaxy” — June 11, 1991 TUF SEQ June 11, 1991 and in c06, I do say the dredge is “from very far away”

  <- back to text

  Note 185

  * [vsv] [ur] AWK (stagey) (also, you’d think the sexual angle would be more immediately obtrusive, since there aren’t other humans around)

  <- back to text

  Note 186

  * PRB QU work on making Ravna “plucky”

  * [hld] Communication with the Transcend much easier with local translator/buffer in the High Beyond. Time base corrections “philosophy matching” hardware-wetware

  * [ur] Change “chaotic freezing” to “accidental freezing”

  * [vsv] [ur] ? IMPER INCON even so:

  * [vsv] INCON Think I’ll try to go with Middle Beyond for Relay. Note that this will change some references late in the book.

  <- back to text

  Note 187

  * [jrf2] “almost reminiscing” is vague

  * [vsv] PRO write Canberra as Pham’s home world

  <- back to text

  Note 188

  * [jrf2] [ur] “usual feudal politics” instead of “feudal politics”?

  * [vsv] PRB his colloquial use of language TUF June 11, 1991 (you give some excuse above)

  * iD For end of n7, Pham Nuwen could make the point that ultimately he intends to go back to the Top — after he’s made his legend true

  * PRB Literally speaking, sword and slug gun are incompatible

  QU BKG about Qeng Ho follows

  <- back to text

  Note 189

  * [vsv] CHKd “light-year” sp (also in c28c38) ID the flight of the Wild Goose; maybe they had (inaccurate) evidence of the zones IMP for SEQ

  <- back to text

  Note 190

  * [jrf2] “could ever exist” instead of “can ever exist”

  * [vsv] June 11, 1991 CHKd sp “cabin boy”

  <- back to text

  Note 191

  * IMP Ask Poul about the Qeng Ho motto, its origin and if you may use it.

  * [vsv] June 11, 1991 Poul wrote back that it was okay to use it.

  <- back to text

  Note 192

  * [jrf2] How do they get this word (“reconciliation”) for that act (“fry a whole planet”)?!

  * [vsv] “coldsleep” one word?

  <- back to text

>   Note 193

  * ID Heh, heh. Start a Qeng Ho news group (probably started by Old One) Sigh. But even that could be a lie.

  <- back to text

  Note 194

  * [ur] ? QU ask around about the consequences of this Captain mystery

  * QU PRB Do you want him to be so sexist? Doesn’t seem like you could say he was flexible then? Maybe Ravna could just muse about how selectively flexible he was

  * [vsv] [ur] June 11, 1991 : “wild witless bird” is actually a realistically necessary circumlocution, but is it too inconsistent with my incaution elsewhere?

  <- back to text

  Note 195

  * IMP QU PRB Critique/clean up the astrophysics here

  * qU Is it too jarring to use a real name like Qeng Ho?

  * [jrf] [ur] ?jrf No, but in this case<?>, too Qeng Ho

  * QU PRB at speeds as low as 0.3c, the real difference between objective and subjective time is insignificant, so is it still okay for me to use the terms (presumably in reference to coldsleep)

  * IMP Somewhere (hopefully in n7) you want to note that the notion of something like the Zones did show up in fiction (though it’s reasonable that it was insignificant, if there are good explanations for nature to Slow Zone civilizations)