The King of Gee-Whiz

by Emerson Hough

  Once you hear the speech of them You will know each word a gem New and bright, For it seems to sway and shake As the jewels do that break Into light.

  CHAPTER XXIII

  TO THE VALLEY OF THE FAIRIES

  At once the coachman whirled his little team out from the small room inthe rock, and the coach took its place between the rails of the GoldenLadder, which now seemed to resemble the rails of a railroad. They wereheaded straight down, and Zuzu and Lulu caught their breath as the coachdived off and began to drop as fast as lightning, down and down. Buthardly had this flight begun before, to their great surprise, both losttheir fear of falling, and, indeed, forgot that they were going in anydirection except straight ahead.

  They flew on and on, as fast as a bird and as easily, the bumblebeehorses galloping steadily without stopping to draw a breath, thecoachman flirting his whip now and then, and the footman sitting up verystraight and stern. The Enchanted Banjo now looked perfectly happy.

  "In this way, my friends," it remarked, "we shall soon be at the edge ofthe Valley of the Fairies. Had you stopped to climb down that Ladder,there is no telling how long it would have taken you. It might have beenseveral years, and, indeed, for all I know, you might have been oldpersons by the time you got there, and so have had trouble about gettinginto the Valley; for every one knows that children are more loved by theFairies than old people."

  "How long will it take to get there now?" asked Lulu.

  "That is a hard question to answer," replied the Enchanted Banjo, "but Iwill sing a little in order to pass away the time." And so the Banjosang:

  THE CRAB AND THE LOBSTER

  The Lobster and the Crab once met Where all the sand was nice and wet, And bowing nicely, down they sat To have a pleasant, friendly chat.

  They talked about the weather; next How with their children they were vexed; Then said the Crab: "I often fret About the Rules of Etiquette."

  "Now I," the Lobster said, "am, too, Disturbed by it the same as you. I do not like these folks who say One should act thus, or talk this way.

  "My nature is, indeed, mine own; Why, if the King called from his throne For me to go ahead, he'd find That I should quickly drop behind."

  "I, too," the Crab declared, "am odd, And at some formal laws I nod. In this one thing I take great pride: When I walk straight, I step aside."

  Oh, children, pray take heed of this-- You, little boy; you, little miss-- The Lobster and the Crab do thus Because they are like most of us.

  The Crab goes on in sidewise tracks And when the Lobster leads, it backs! They do so, for it is, you know, The only way that each can go.

  "We are now in a land where things are not measured as they are in yourworld," said the Banjo. "You saw how easily you got into this smallcoach, did you not? Its measurement is not the same as that of a coachup there," and it pointed directly above. "In the same way, the timewill be much smaller than the same length of time would be where we camefrom. I don't think the journey will tire you in the least, but it may,perhaps, be a sensible thing for you to curl up on the seats and take alittle nap."

  "That is so," remarked Lulu. "I am feeling rather sleepy."

  "So am I," said Zuzu.

  So they both curled up on the seats and went fast asleep.

  CHAPTER XXIV

  THE ROYAL AND OFFICIAL COUNCIL

  In the meantime, as may readily be imagined, there was a sad time at thepalace of the King of Gee-Whiz. The Widow Pickle threatened to upset theroyal household if her Twins were not brought back before sundown ofthat day. No trace could be found of the royal shadow, nor could any onetell what had become of the wooden leg of the Royal Army. The PrivateSecretary was almost frantic over all these difficulties, and the CourtPhysician was also at his wits' end, seeking for some remedy for thestrange disease of the King, which had caused him to lose his shadow,this being a thing which he could not find mentioned in any of themedical works which he habitually consulted.

  "Oh, my poor head! My poor head!" said the King. "And to think that mypoor, dear shadow may have quite as bad a headache for all I know! Oh,dear, was ever so unhappy a King as I! Jiji, play for me, and see if youcannot do something to settle my poor nerves."

  The Private Secretary went into his apartment, but presently returnedand fell prostrate upon his face. "O, King," cried he, "I am the mostwretched servant that ever disappointed a royal master!"

  "Why, what is the matter now? What is the matter?" asked the King. "Hasanything else gone wrong?"

  "O, King," said the Private Secretary, "I regret to say that theEnchanted Banjo has disappeared from my apartments in the royal palace."

  "Ah!" cried the King of Gee-Whiz, as he heard the news. "This is almosttoo much! I begin to feel so strange that I really think I shall have tosend for the Court Headsman."

  As the King of Gee-Whiz said this, he fixed a stern eye upon theunfortunate Private Secretary; who, as must be plain to all, had notbeen in the least to blame for any of these unhappy events.

  "I beg to suggest, your Majesty," said the Private Secretary, "that yousend for the Court Detective instead."

  "If in your opinion he can be of the slightest service," replied theKing, "then pray have him come and set to work at once."

  So the Court Detective came and was admitted to the presence of theKing. He was an oldish looking man, thin, and dressed in a long,flowing, black gown. He carried under one arm a large book, and underthe other a basket of plaster-of-paris, with which he was accustomed tothink he would some day make a cast of the footprints of some escapingcriminal. On his nose he wore two pairs of spectacles, one for farlooking and one for close looking, and in general he was a verywise-appearing man. The King at once explained to him the reasons forhis summons to the palace, and at that the Court Detective became evenmore wise.

  "I see, your Majesty," he remarked, "you have lost your shadow. Ha! Hum!Most serious, most serious, I assure your Majesty."

  "And the Widow has lost the Royal Hereditary Twins," continued the King.

  "Precisely. Most serious, most serious," said the Court Detective. "Itwould have been better had I been called much earlier, before the trailwas so cold; but we shall see, your Majesty, we shall see."

  "And the Private Secretary has lost the Enchanted Banjo, upon which wewere accustomed to rely for our entertainment."

  "Ah, that is very bad, very bad indeed! Whom does your Majesty suspectof all these things? Is it your Majesty's belief that one and the sameperson has committed all these crimes?"

  "That is for you to tell," said the King.

  "Ah! That will render it more difficult," said the Court Detective,"very much more difficult; but we shall see, your Majesty, we shallsee."

  "You will report at the palace at two this afternoon," said the King,"and if you have not at that time brought back the missing articles,your head will be removed and you will also lose your position as CourtDetective."

  "Your Majesty," said the Court Detective, "I hope you will not exerciseundue haste. This is the first case I have ever had, and I should likepermission to continue my studies a little later than two o'clock thisafternoon."

  "Very well, then," said the King, "you shall have until half-past two.By that time you must have results." Whereupon, the King bowed andturned away.

  The Court Detective was very much agitated at these suddenresponsibilities, but he now hastened away. After sitting for some timein deep thought, he began to search all about the palace yard, lookingfor footprints. In this he was successful, and of every footprint hefound he made a cast in plaster-of-paris; so that before long he had abasketful of footprints, and with these he hastened back to the King.

  "Your Majesty," he exclaimed, "my eagle eye has discovered many things,and if my plaster-of-paris had not run out, I should have been able toshow your Majesty even more footprints than these."

  The King was much pleased. "You have
a good mind," said he to the CourtDetective. "Among these footprints I see several which no doubt belongto the Royal Hereditary Twins. In which direction were they going?"

  "That, your Majesty," replied the Court Detective, "is something which Idid not look into, considering it immaterial; but now that your Majestyhas mixed up these footprints in the basket, I feel that it will be muchmore difficult to determine the course which they were taking when Idiscovered them."

  The King sent out the Court Detective once more with instructions toexamine closely the ground around the home of the Dragon Jankow, as thePrivate Secretary had suggested that they might have gone thither. TheCourt Detective declared that if the Twins were found, the shadow andthe lost Banjo also would be discovered; but he refused to say what madehim think this, and only wagged his head.

  Within a short time after he had gone out the second time, the CourtDetective again returned, very much excited. "Your Majesty, yourMajesty," he cried, "a crime has been committed!"

  "Several crimes have been committed," said the King sternly, "but whatis it that you have detected now?"

  "The Royal Army has lost its wooden leg."

  "Ah," said the King. "Have you just detected that? I knew that long ago,as also did the Dragon. But did you find any footprints near there?"asked the King.

  "I did not look for any," said the Court Detective; "but had I found anyI should have been helpless, for I was quite out of plaster-of-paris.But I discovered that a portion of a sandwich and two tins of preservedherring had been left near the opening of the gorge where the Royal Armylives."

  "Ah," said the King, "let us see them."

  "Your Majesty," said the Court Detective, "I regret very much to statethat I was hungry and ate the sandwich and the tinned herring; but ifI had had more plaster-of-paris, I could have made you an excellent castof the tins."

  The King could bound as high as the tallest palms _Page99_]

  "It seems to me," said the King, "that you are not really accomplishingmuch toward taking the criminals."

  "But, consider, your Majesty," said the Court Detective, "the handicapunder which I labor. A detective without plaster-of-paris is almosthelpless, and there is no more plaster-of-paris on the Island. Thiswhich I have used was left to me by my father, the Court Detective toyour Majesty's grandfather, and it was a most superior article, whichcan not be replaced."

  At this time the King looked at the palace clock. "Very well," said he,"it will not matter, for, as I perceive, it is now half-past two; so Ipresume I may as well behead you now."

  "Your Majesty," said the Court Detective, "I respectfully request thatyou do not behead me."

  "I am sure you can do quite as well without your head," said the King.

  "No," replied the Court Detective, "that I respectfully deny, yourMajesty; and I request that you leave the matter of the legality of myexecution to the Court Lawyer. I maintain that the lack ofplaster-of-paris is the cause of my failure, and that lack was not myown fault."

  "Oh, very well," said the King, "I always wish to be just. Send for theCourt Lawyer, and let us ask him about it; though thus far I can not seethat we have learned more than we knew before."

  The Private Secretary went after the Court Lawyer, who was asleep in hisoffice, but who awoke and accompanied him to the palace. The CourtLawyer was a small man, but very wise indeed. He, too, was old and he,too, wore a long, flowing robe of black, and a high, pointed hat withnarrow rim, which made him look taller than he really was. He carried ablack bag under his arm, in which were many wise and learned books ofthe law. To him the King of Gee-Whiz stated the case as it had beensubmitted, saying that he would very much like to behead the CourtDetective, but that he did not wish to do anything illegal.

  "What do you think in regard to this," asked the King, "and how quicklycan you give me a decision upon this question of law?"

  "Your Majesty," said the Court Lawyer, "I have known less knottyquestions than this one to remain in the Courts of Chancery for over ahundred years; but such is my own great personal skill in this branch ofthe law, that I make no doubt I can deliver your Majesty an opinion ofseveral hundred pages and of great importance in less than half thattime."

  "That," said the King, "is absurd, for it would be of no use to theCourt Detective, if he were beheaded now, to learn fifty years hencethat his execution had been illegal."

  "The law can not take any cognizance of unimportant details," said theCourt Lawyer; "so I do not presume to enter into any discussion of thatpoint, as I have had no brief prepared, nor could I have had on suchshort notice."

  "But can you not guess," asked the King, "and give us an informalopinion as to whether I can behead this gentleman, and so go take anap?"

  "Your Majesty," said the Court Lawyer firmly, "the law is not to behandled in so hurried a manner. I can make no such hasty decision. Ishould not undertake to render an opinion upon this question in lessthan fifty years, and then only in case I have received my proper fee."

  "But in case the act should later be found illegal?" asked the King.

  "Then, in that case," said the Court Lawyer, "your Majesty would be indanger of impeachment proceedings, which might cause your Majesty tolose your throne."

  "It is enough for the King to lose his shadow without losing histhrone," said the King angrily. "Away with you, every one, or, Ideclare, I shall send for the Court Executioner and consult with himalone!"

  So they all hastily withdrew from the King's presence, and for the timethe matter was allowed to rest. It may be if the bad Fairy had notstolen the White Cricket, they might have used the Fairy Telephone andasked the good Queen Zulena whether any word had been received there ofa missing pair of Twins, a royal shadow, the wooden leg of a Dragon, andan Enchanted Banjo.

  CHAPTER XXV

  THE FAIRY CITY OF ALMALENA

  In the meantime, as may be supposed, the twins Zuzu and Lulu wererapidly approaching the secret Valley of the Fairies. They did not knowhow far they had traveled when at length they awoke. The BumblebeeExpress had stopped suddenly.

  "Well," said the Enchanted Banjo, "here we are at last at the city ofAlmalena."

  The Twins sat up on the carriage seat and rubbed their eyes, scarcelybelieving that what they saw was anything but a wonderful dream, sostrange and beautiful seemed everything here in the land of theFairies.

  Before them lay the city of Almalena, shining in some strange clearlight, which was strong as the light of the sun and yet soft as thelight of the moon. In this radiance one could see to any distance at aglance and with perfect distinctness. The houses on the farther side ofthe Fairy city were as clearly visible as those close at hand.

  The houses were all of some shining substance, possibly of gold, but itdid not hurt the eyes to look at them, for here everything was soft andgentle. They could see long streets of these houses; and crossing thestreets were boulevards and parks and open spaces filled with beautifultrees and flowers. The sweet voices of birds filled all the air, but didnot prevent the hearing of every other sound distinctly. Here and theretall towers arose, and at the top of each of these was a large diamond,whose light made the radiance which was noticeable everywhere. Therewere very many spires and pinnacles and lace-like carvings in whatseemed to be stone, but which may have been this Fairy materialresembling gold.

  The city of Almalena was not a city as we know it. There was no smokeanywhere at all, nor any chimneys. There was no confusion or hurry, norany jostling nor crowding nor noise. The streets were paved with softwoven carpets, and although many wheeled vehicles were darting here andthere, drawn by bees or butterflies, these made not the slightest noise,except that now and then one could hear the faint tinkling of goldenharness, like that on the steeds of the Bumblebee Express. All was sweetand calm, and always arose sweet music, and always there came thefeeling that here it was neither hot nor cold, but comfortable; andalways there lay wide and fine the avenues of the Fairy city lined withpleasant trees; and always through the soft air came the tinkling ofm
any little silvery bells, very sweet to hear, as unseen hands rang themin the lacy towers.

  Beyond the city lay a wide lake, shining in the Fairy sunlight, andwrinkled with little ripples about as large as one's hand. This lake wasdotted here and there with little boats that sailed merrily over thetiny waves. Others went by oars, and yet others seemed to glide withoutbeing propelled in any visible way. Beyond this lake was the thin darkline of a wide forest, and at one side of this rose a high mountain,while at the other, very far away, as it seemed, rose two othermountains which came close together in a sort of gateway between thehills. Closer at hand upon the lake were floating islands upon whichgrew trees and flowers, and which seemed also to have people upon them,since now and then came sounds of laughter and of happy voices.

  Above all in the city of Almalena there was a great feeling of happinessand content. You might look over all that valley inch by inch, andlisten hour by hour and never would you hear a complaint or a cry;nothing except smiles and happy words and cheerful songs and pleasantvoices, and musical instruments which spoke only of joy and pleasure.This, indeed, is the great thing about the home of the Fairies, thatthere everything is happy, and that such a thing as grief or unhappinessis unknown.

  "This," said Lulu, "is the most beautiful place I ever saw, and it farsurpasses anything of which I have even dreamed."

  "Now since we are here safe and sound," said the Enchanted Banjo, "it isour first duty to go to see the Fairy leader, the good Queen Zulena. Iam sure you will say there was never so beautiful and good a queen inall the world. You may drive us to the royal court of the Fairies, ifyou please, Coachman."