Heart of a Kingdom

by Lisa Bain

  Libby looked at them and forced her eyes to focus.

  “Daddy?” Tears started streaming down her face when she saw her father. “Daddy, I don’t think I can do this.”

  “You can do it, Aisling Elisabeth. We will help you.”

  She looked at the rest of the group. She recognized the Japanese woman from her childhood dreams. The warrior queen who rode horseback and fought with both arrow and sword. This was the woman she’d dreamt was talking to her. Michie nodded in recognition.

  She looked at Maggie. She didn’t know her but recognized her somehow. Maggie smiled, knowing it was her energy that was familiar.

  She gasped when she got to Michael.

  “Michael,” she whispered as tears overcame her again.

  “Hi, Mom. I’m impressed you remember me,” he said.

  Libby looked at Scarlett. “Are you seeing this, or have I had a mental breakdown? Am I dead? Are we dead? Did we fail?”

  “We are very much alive, Sweetie. We see them too. The Spirit Council is here to help you, just like we are.” Scarlett took Libby’s hand in hers, patting it reassuringly.

  For a brief moment Libby realized that she didn’t have a headache or nosebleed, and there were no zigzags flashing across her field of vision. Scarlett must be right. This must be the Council. They alone would be able to speak to her without any of the usual side effects. They could also speak to her without her consent. Although at this point, she was too weak to put up much of a fight, and Libby was so sad she no longer cared about trying to fight. For the first time in her life she longed for them. For the first time she had a reason to. She hadn’t processed the thought yet but wanted to speak to Dale.

  Teruyo spoke first, snapping her fingers to get the Queen’s fading attention. “Aisling Elisabeth McGregor. I know you’re in pain, but I need you to focus a little while longer before you rest again. While you were unconscious, we removed the part of Dalen’s heart grafted to yours. In an ideal world you’d have months to recuperate. We don’t have that luxury. Threats to the kingdom are already on their way. Do you understand the plan that Awen explained to you?”

  Libby felt like she was under water. Cold. Dark. Sinking. It was so hard to concentrate. The pain was excruciating, and it was hard to breathe. “Yes,” she slurred. “I understand. Step 1: Don’t die. Step 2: Regrow my heart.” She giggled at the ridiculousness of it all.

  “Good. Rest now. We’ll begin tomorrow.”

  The Queen drifted off to sleep mumbling something about “my baby boy” before Teruyo’s words faded.

  Libby was fast asleep when she had her first visit with Michie. This time Michie wasn’t in samurai armor but appeared in the tactical gear Libby herself wore.

  “Hello, Mago-chan. I’m Michie and I am here to guide you. I will help you as you sleep and meditate. I will visit you in dreams to use as little of your energy as possible. My presence here will also prevent your night terrors since your mind can’t process both at the same time.”

  “Mago? Granddaughter? You’re my ancestor?”

  “Yes.”

  “All those dreams.”

  “Yes, those were dream memories. My memories.”

  “I always thought they were mine from a past life.”

  Michie laughed, “No, Mago-chan, those were mine. But you and I are linked for some reason. Usually when one dreams of an ancestor it’s like watching a movie, not like living it. You and I have much in common. That story is too long for one night’s dream, but I am here to guide you. Will you follow my instructions and let me teach you?”

  “Yes, I suppose.”

  “Listen up grasshopper, there is no I suppose. Will you follow my instructions to the letter?”

  “Yes, Grandmother, I will. I will do anything to protect my people.”

  “Good. That’s the correct answer, by the way. The answer of a queen. Sleep now, Granddaughter. Our lessons will begin soon. One last thing, for the time being you mustn’t speak of our visits to anyone outside your Royal Council. Promise me.”

  “I promise,” Libby mumbled as she drifted back into a dreamless sleep.

  The Queen woke to a soft knock on her bedroom door. The pain assured her she was awake and that it wasn’t another dream lesson.

  “Come in,” she groaned.

  “Aunt Libby?” came a soft voice, as her nephew came into view.

  “Hey, Kurtis. How are you?” she asked. As close as they were, this was the first time he’d ever visited her bedroom, and it made him uncomfortable. Of course, nothing like this had ever happened before. She motioned for him to come over and sit on the edge of the bed. He swapped out the lilacs in the vase next to the bed with the fresh bunch he had in his hand and took a seat. Bringing her favorite flowers was the only thing his almost fifteen-year old mind could come up with to try and make her feel better.

  “I’m okay. How are you?”

  She looked up at the young man. He looked uncomfortable. And sad. She could tell he’d been crying. His hazel eyes, just like his Uncle Dale’s, were red and swollen. He wore his hair short but kept running his hands over it nervously.

  She’d never held back or treated the young ones like kids, so she was honest. “Miserable. Everything hurts and I miss Dale.”

  “I miss him too. And I’m not the only one. That’s why I’m here,” he started. “Um, Aunt Libby, I need a favor.”

  “What do you need?”

  “It’s Hoss.” He paused. Kurtis found all the emotions and tension too much to take, so would regularly retreat to the stables and take care of the horses. Most of the horses in the royal stables had come from his family’s ranch, so he knew them. He’d been there at their births, and even named most of them. He’d been in a stall brushing his horse when Dale died. The energy wave had been scary enough, but Hoss started screaming at that exact moment. He was distraught and had been throwing himself against the stall door. Kurtis had finally managed to get him calmed down so he wouldn’t hurt himself, but Hoss was a mess.

  “Aunt Libby, Hoss is a wreck. He hasn’t eaten anything since Uncle Dale died. I’m scared for him. I know you’re hurting too, but if you could visit him a little, I think that would help. If he doesn’t start eating, I’m afraid he’ll...” His voice trailed off and his eyes welled up with tears. He couldn’t bring himself to say that he was afraid Hoss would die of a broken heart. It was true but seemed the wrong thing to say to his aunt.

  Libby thought about it. It broke her heart to see him hurting so much, and she’d do anything for him. She didn’t know how, but she’d find a way to make it work. She reached for him and he leaned in for a hug. “I’ll find a way. I love you, Kurtis. Thanks for taking care of Hossy for me. And thank you for the flowers.”

  The teenager wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve and mumbled an “I love you, too” before heading back out to the stables.

  Chapter

  Waking the Dead

  The moment Libby was moved to the neighboring room, after Dale died, a different ritual began in their bedroom. While Awen, Sophia, and Scarlett tended to Libby, Krystal took care of Dalen. She cleared the room of the negative energy still lingering from the King’s tormented passing, and any residue of Skarra’s curse before bathing Dale’s body in sage and lavender infused water and drying him with clean linen towels. When she was done blessing his body and soul, she wove a small spell to keep his body fresh until the funeral. Then, Libby’s sister Corrine and her daughter Dyanna, in place of Libby, joined Kendra and Kurtis as his closest family members, to dress him in his formal robes. By that evening he’d be lying in state in the palace ballroom.

  It was in the palace ballroom that Dale came to. He didn’t know where he was at first and couldn’t understand why he was swimming. How did he get into the lake? The last thing he remembered was charging Skarra. Then he remembered the pain and seeing his wife sobbing over him. “No, not swimming,” he realized, “but I’m floating. Or weightless. Oh shit, I’m dead. Where is Ash? Ash! Aisl
ing!” He screamed out her name, desperate to find her.

  “That’s enough of that,” Michael scolded him. “Time to come with me.”

  He looked down and saw a beautiful boy looking up at him in amusement. Dale was confused; who was this boy who could speak so disrespectfully to him? And why did he sound like a chain-smoking truck driver? Something about him seemed familiar. “Who are you? You can’t tell me what to do.” But Dale was new and had no control over his incorporeal self, so Michael just grabbed him by the leg and dragged him along like a helium balloon.

  He looked down and saw himself lying in formal robes. There were flowers everywhere, and people coming and going.

  “What the fuck is happening?” he demanded. “Am I dead? I’m dead, aren’t I? What happened?”

  “You’ll see Dad, you’ll see. Just calm yourself. We’ll explain everything. Just try to be calm. Breathe through your nose.”

  “Dad? What the fuck is happening here? Why are you calling me Dad? Are you mental? Where is my wife? Why can’t I move? What is happening?”

  “Dalen-san,” Kokichi greeted him as Michael tied Dale to a chair in the council chambers to keep him from floating away.

  “Pops? What is happening here? Where is Ash? Is she okay? Why am I tied to a chair? Why can’t I walk? Why’d that boy call me Dad?”

  “Dalen, calm yourself. We will explain everything. In time you will gain control over this form. Are you willing to stop fighting and listen to what I have to tell you?”

  Dale kept fighting to move, but no matter how much he flailed about, he was going nowhere. With an exasperated sigh he nodded at Kokichi and tried to focus.

  “Good. I know this is all very confusing. You probably feel like you’re underwater and that you can’t see or hear clearly.”

  Dale stopped fighting and looked right at Kokichi.

  “I know, I went through it only eight months ago,” Kokichi reminded him.

  “Fuck. I’m really dead?” he asked.

  “Yes. You are really dead.” Kokichi raised his hand to stop him from interrupting. “Before you ask, Aisling Elisabeth is still alive, and so is the Kingdom, although the force field is collapsing, which could end us all.

  “Dying is simply moving from one plane of the universe to the next. Since our souls are energy, we must shed our physical forms to reach this plane. The living and spirit realms are connected. If one is destroyed, both are, not just the one that took the blow.”

  Dale looked frustrated.

  “With me so far?”

  “Yes, I think so.”

  “Good. Our realm is immediately next to the living world you just came from. I don’t know what’s next for us but theorize that there are an infinite number of planes to pass to. For now, we are focused only on two. We are connected. We who are now energy can pass between the realm we are in and the one we came from. Those with physical bodies cannot.”

  “So that’s why we sometimes see ghosts?” Dale asked.

  “Yes, that’s why the living sometimes see ghosts.” Kokichi was careful to use the correct language to help the King process the fact that he’d died. It was going to take a while. Time they didn’t have.

  “I know it’s a lot to process, but we don’t have a lot of time. From the spirit world we try to guide and support our loved ones in the physical world.”

  “Wait, can I go see Ash now? As a ghost?”

  “No! You may not. You need training first or you will do irreparable damage to the woman you loved most in the world. I promise you will be able to communicate with her when the time is right, but you risk pushing her into madness in her weakened condition. Do you understand? I’m serious, Dale. What the living often perceive as hauntings are really just impatient spirits who haven’t learned how to master communication. They cause irreversible damage to the living. It’s dangerous and you must not attempt it. I will teach you, but you must be patient.”

  Dale looked disappointed, but as he couldn’t control his own energy body, there wasn’t much he could do but pout.

  “Where was I? Oh, yes. As you know the Council appears to kings and queens in times of great crisis, as a way to formally assist. It’s not discreet like dream messages, but in a crisis situation it works.”

  At that moment the other members of the Council appeared. Dale was frantically trying to untie himself from the chair, but the most he got was a slight breeze. He was getting pissed off.

  “Hey, I know you. You’re my wife’s grandmother,” he said far too loudly. “Why am I yelling? Apparently, I can’t control my volume either,” he cursed to himself.

  “Yes,” Teruyo confirmed, “I am the Queen’s grandmother. I also head the Council. You know Kokichi, who also sits on the Council. He will be your instructor in how to navigate the spirit realm. I will let the rest of the Council introduce themselves.”

  It was much like when they’d introduced themselves to Geoffrey, Scarlett and the wizards, until they got to Michael.

  Michael floated up on the table so he could look the King in the eye.

  “I’m Michael. Allen Michael McGregor, if you want to get particular about it. You asked me earlier why I called you Dad. It’s because I’m your son.”

  Dale squinted at him. “There is no way you’re my son. We never had any kids.”

  “You are partially correct; you never had any children born, but I am your son. Do you remember when you were out on a hunting party with the knights shortly after you and Mother married? You felt through your heart graft that something was wrong. You felt her pain and her sadness, but when you called her, she said she just wasn’t feeling well and to enjoy your trip. Do you remember this?”

  If he’d still had a body he’d have been shaking by now. Dalen suddenly remembered the moment vividly. He’d known something was wrong but when she told him to stay, he did because he was enjoying himself. He’d written it off as adjusting to the new graft. Now he knew what an asshole he was and that he should have returned home immediately.

  Michael continued. “That was when I died.”

  Dale floated there in silence, tears streaming down his shimmering face. “Oh my God Ash, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you go through it alone?” Although he already knew the answer. She was protecting them both from the grief. She was one of those people who kept her true pain to herself, while the rest of the world got a smile. He was one of the only people alive who knew how much pain that was, and that was only because of the graft.

  “Don’t feel guilty about it. She didn’t want you to know. She’d only just found out about me and was going to tell you when you got home from that trip. Because I wasn’t actually born, I entered this realm without needing the type of re-training the rest of you get. But because Mother had named me, I have full spirit rights and responsibilities on the Council.”

  Dale was now furious. He’d had a right to know. Later she did tell him she’d never be able to have children but had omitted this part of the story. “Damn it Ash!” Dale shouted to no one in particular. “We weren’t supposed to have any secrets from each other! I know you were trying to protect me, but you didn’t even give me a chance to screw it up, let alone get it right.”

  “I need to see her immediately,” Dale demanded.

  “Not going to happen,” Kokichi interjected. “Not until you finish your training. How quickly you complete your training is up to you, although I’d encourage you to make haste. She will need you.”

  We were born before the wind

  Also younger than the sun

  Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic

  Hark, now hear the sailors cry

  Smell the sea and feel the sky

  Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

  Just like way back in the days of old

  And magnificently we will flow into the mystic

  When that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home

  And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
<
br />   I don’t have to fear it

  Too late to stop now...

  ~Van Morrison, “Into the Mystic”

  In the midst of all this, Dale’s funeral had to happen. When she’d assumed the Queenship, Libby’s sisters automatically took on court duties. It was possible to refuse, but refusal was never an option they would have considered. Each of them lived close to the palace with their families to help their sister.

  The sisters were close but had grown even closer in the months since Dale’s injury. Libby was the oldest of the three and had grown up taking care of her two baby sisters. Those roles quickly reversed when the King was cursed.

  While Scarlett, Geoffrey, and the rest of the royal staff took care of security, logistics, and everything else she’d need as Queen, Libby’s sisters took care of her as a regular person and the grieving widow. Ava, the youngest, had already been taking care of the Kingdom’s books as Royal Accountant. Corrine, the middle sister, didn’t have an official appointment but took care of their family and was well-known in the kingdom for her generosity and ministering to the broken. While she continued to sleep most of the day away to hide from the pain, Libby’s sisters took charge of planning Dale’s funeral.

  Despite having almost nothing to do with planning it, Libby still had to attend in an official capacity, even though she wanted to curl up in a ball and die. She knew her people needed to see her. It wasn’t a secret that parts of the force field had become very weak. Even though she was still so weak she shouldn’t be standing unattended, the Queen did her duty.

  Corrine Chaney was famous for the parties and events she put together. No detail, no matter how small, was ever overlooked. This was no exception. It was a beautiful funeral, befitting a well-loved king. The Queen observed from the main palace balcony. That way the oxygen machine was discreetly out of sight, and the fact that staff kept her from falling was hidden from the general population. Harley’s artful make-up application covered up the Queen’s gray pallor. She looked sad, but not dying. The knights and Ladies-in-Waiting lined the palace steps as the King’s body was carried down into the courtyard where the funeral pyre waited.