Wicked Dare: A Romantic Comedy

by Kira Graham

  “Oh, my God. Cam! I’m so, so—oh, my God, why do I feel this way?” Lu whines, grabbing at her head and doubling over.

  I’d tell her if I could speak, and I would appreciate the sight of her bare breasts if I could feel anything but soul-tearing agony while my balls throb in protest and my lungs continue to stall.

  “Pain,” I manage to wheeze, the sob I’ve kept trapped finally bursting free as I gently feel around and try to make sure my nuts are still in the sack.

  When I feel them there and nothing is bleeding, which is a freaking miracle, I blow out a shaking breath and groan, deciding to put that on the backburner for now and do what I came in here to do. You can rest assured, though, that I will never, ever in my life wake this woman up again. I like my balls too much.

  “Cameron!” Lu yells, wincing at the volume and then frowning when I continue to puff out air, my emotions just this side of crippled because this shit hurts, I still feel awful, and, dammit, she has the nicest tits I’ve ever seen and I can’t remember the first time I saw them.

  I want to remember that and other things—that’s assuming we—we must have fucked, I think because despite the pain in my nuts, I can feel my dick still and he definitely got some action last night. Need to wash that off soon. I love sex but that shit itches after a while.

  “What the—why am I naked? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. That wasn’t a dream, was it?” she asks in a high-pitched whine that makes me wince right along with her, though mine isn’t about the sounds.

  It’s more to do with the fact that I can’t remember, so I can’t really answer.

  “That would depend on what you thought you were dreaming?” I mutter, clearing my throat because I sound like a chipmunk. “But yeah, I do think we did have sex, and before you freak out, I don’t know anything. I woke up this morning and I felt like I was dying. I’m pretty sure we drank a lot last night, although to be honest I can’t remember that either because I can’t remember yesterday. At all,” I groan, lowering myself down to the bed and wincing when she slides the sheet back up and sighs like she’s about to die.

  I feel ya, babe. I feel ya loud and clear.

  “I need a moment. Just a moment,” Lu mutters, breathing in deeply and blowing out breaths for a full minute before she swallows and opens her eyes to meet mine.

  She doesn’t look like she’s feeling any better, but she doesn’t try to attack me when I offer her the dry toast and cold drink, and by the time she’s swallowed some down, she isn’t looking quite as green.

  “Okay. I still feel like crap, but I can think. And that isn’t a good thing because you know what happens when I start thinking, Cam,” she whispers, the look of pure shame on her face causing a laugh to bubble up despite the pain I’m still feeling.

  Jesus. Is that hand mechanical?

  “Things like attempting to break into my apartment to steal Jaja,” I say solemnly, my mouth tight to keep a chuckle in.

  She confessed her attempt to me a few days ago during one of our midnight texting marathons and I nearly laughed myself sick when she admitted she’s now friends with the “kind little old lady upstairs.” I hate to break it to Lu, but Nana Ivy is about as kind as a rattlesnake usually. One year she caught me smoking weed out in the backyard when I thought no one was home, and she damn near ripped my ear off dragging me back inside. I never told a soul but she whipped my ass good that day, and at sixteen I realized something that shocked me straight. My family is evil. My mom made me do chores for a solid month, which wasn’t great because I finally understood what Loco, our housekeeper, went through washing our jockstraps.

  “Exactly,” she groans, scrubbing at her head and shuddering. “And I’m thinking right now that we got Bamboozled last night at my parents’ when we went to dinner.”

  “We went to… I met your parents!” I scream, leaping up and pacing because that couldn’t have gone well if I’m this hungover. “Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh—”

  “Shit,” Lu chimes, laughing when I stop and stare at her with a grimace.

  “This isn’t funny, Lu. I can’t remember anything. Your parents are going to think I’m some sort of loser,” I whine, my mind racing because if I could just remember, I could do some sort of damage control.

  Buy her mom a car maybe. Sell my soul to S—

  “Oh, chill out. If we were Bamboozled, it was probably my dad,” she grumps, her left eye narrowing. “That old bastard.”

  “Oh, come on. That can’t be—”

  “It’s true. You just don’t understand because you don’t understand Bamboozle,” she sighs, pulling a face when I give her a look meant to curdle her insides. “Bamboozle is when you’re tricked into drinking Dad’s Mexican stash of tequilas. It isn’t pretty because his stash mostly consists of the lower-end kind, but in his defense he only gets them for the bottles. They’re mucho cool,” she says laughing when I continue to stare at her without expression or response.

  “You’re telling me your dad got us hammered?” I ask, not believing her at all because that cannot be true.

  “It’s true! It’s a game we started playing once we all turned twenty-one. The goal is to see who drinks the most and passes out first. I wonder how we did?” she muses, grinning when I sputter and gape at her.

  “Who cares? I can’t remember a freaking thing! “I yell, my agitation growing because this isn’t just about what happened.

  It’s about finally having her and not having memory of it, and even now, as I’m looking at her, she doesn’t seem at all inclined to mention the fact that we had sex. I have feelings, people, and she’s hurting them by not acknowledging how awesome it must have been. Jesus, I hope it was awesome, I think, groaning at the thought that maybe it wasn’t—

  “Would you stop hyperventilating?” Lu yells, sounding disgusted. “We’ll figure it out, and I’ll even tie Gia to a chair and torture her if I need to. No—you know what? I’ll do that anyway.”

  “You think I’m upset… we slept together!” I yell, my voice a deep bark of fury that has Lu frowning and sliding off the bed, the sheet going with her.

  “And your point is?”

  “My point is, we did it, and I don’t remember,” I complain, and even as I say it, I know I sound like a whiny bitch but I can’t help it.

  It was supposed to be so special and shit, and instead I’ve got a black hole where my magical moment was supposed to reside—and, dammit, that hurts.

  “Are you pouting?” Lu laughs, her amusement dying when I look away and shrug.

  Okay, I’m sulking. So what? This blows—

  “Cameron O’Dare, are you freaking sulking?” she asks again, and this time she giggles because I’m full-on sulking.

  “Why wouldn’t I be, Lu? I finally got you in bed, and I can’t freaking remember, and to make matters worse is that you don’t even seem to care. Was I not good?” I whine, wincing when she gapes at me and then lets out a peal of laughter that would kill a lesser man.

  As it is, I want to freaking cry and throw things—until she simmers down and comes towards me, her mouth caught in a bright smile.

  “You were good, O’Dare,” she murmurs, her shoulders shaking when I blow out a breath. “In fact, what little I can remember, you were great. And I would like, if you aren’t averse to the idea, to try that again so that this time we remember it all,” she whispers, a giggle escaping her when I grab her and hug her, hard.

  “Well, thank fuck for that. I was getting really tired of dating other women to make you jealous,” I mutter, laughing when she bites me and curses my manhood.

  I let her go once she’s got her teeth out of me, and when she steps back I smile and take her in.

  “You look really awful,” I say honestly, letting out a laugh when she slaps my chest and grumbles.

  “Well, so do you. Come on; I’ll shower first and change—you need to lend me something to wear—and then we can go grill everyone. And Cam? Your cat is freaking whack,” she mutters, her laughter following her into th
e bathroom and confusing me until she flashes me her ass where there are definite claw marks on the smooth globes.

  “Yes, he is,” I laugh to myself. “But he’s a great wingman,” I sigh, grimacing because now I have to love the little shit.

  After all. He brought me Lu, and that’s worth any—

  “Motherfucker!” I scream when something latches onto the big toe of my right foot and clamps down, the needle-like little teeth drawing blood before I hop on one foot and try to shake Jaja off.

  He goes flying into the bathroom just as Lu opens the door, and when I hear a curse and a scream, I do what any good man with a lick of sense would do.

  I run like hell.

  Chapter 11

  Louisiana

  “This is bullshit,” Mom mutters from her place on the sofa, her nose pinched, her mouth screwed up, and the signs of a guilty conscience so clear that when I walk by the sofa again, marching like a drill sergeant and glaring, I spare her a special glance that has her cowering and shutting her mouth quick.

  I’m acting pissed right now, and part of me is, for Cameron, but it’s a struggle like none other to keep in a laugh when I get another fresh look at her eyebrows. I didn’t act immediately after I got the truth out of Kat, who was the only one to spill the beans. In her defense and from her own mouth, she was born a filthy coward and all it took to get her to sing like a canary was a threat to let her hang out with Gia, alone.

  So, I got the story out of her, and it was graphic. Heck, she took footage of it on her phone, and once Cam and I watched it, oh, it was on. Which is why Gia, Kat, and I broke into my mom’s house and put hair remover on her eyebrows while she was sleeping. Dad wasn’t that lucky since the booze was his, and when he woke up the next morning—or this morning to be more accurate—I cackled like a crone as I listened to him scream like a girl while Mom pulled the wax strips I’d attached to his hairy chest.

  “So, Bamboozle,” I bark, turning swiftly and marching back past them, keeping my hands behind my back and my spine ramrod-straight. “You brought back Bamboozle. Without an announcement,” I snarl, whipping around to glare at Dad, who rears back and screams so loud Mom slaps her hands to her ears.

  “Now, Lu. It was an off-the-cuff thing, and we didn’t so much bring it back as… it just happened,” he sobs, lying through his milky-white teeth while Gia sits beside Mom, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

  She would be laughing. Cam made me promise not to hurt her or include her in any of this, and so I can’t in all good conscience rag on her in the family forum. Fortunately for me he didn’t qualify his conditions, and so putting sunset-orange rinse in her shampoo wasn’t out of the question. I did that this morning, so stay tuned for her reaction. Right now, though, I’m all for killing my parents—and my brothers, who are eyeing the door with a desperation that makes me feel godly.

  “Don’t even think about it!” I snap, narrowing my eyes on them while their wives giggle and wink my way.

  “But Lulu. We didn’t do nothing,” Simon whines thorough a bloody lip he got when he tried to run from me.

  I probably won’t ever live down the tribal scream I let off when I wolverined my way over the banister and landed on his back like a boss, but it was epically satisfying when his face slammed into every single stair as I rode his back to the bottom. Paul got away unscathed, but only because he started crying the minute he walked in here and his pregnant wife stepped in front of him, whammying me with her pregnant belly. Little babies slay me. What can I say? He’ll get his, though, and that’s a vow.

  “You knew. You knew and you let them Bamboozle me!” I screech, turning to glance at Cameron where he’s sitting in the corner, his eyes wide with sympathy.

  Weak. But I’ll make him strong to survive these people. I swear I will. I have to. After the other night, and even though I only have snippets of what presented as a really good wet dream, I really want to have sex with him again. And I will. I just have to take care of this first because Dad, in all his wisdom, decided to add a bonus hunt to the roster this year, and that’s happening in just under two weeks. I have to be ready; I have training to do—and if Cameron’s going to be a part of it now that he’s my boo, he’s going to have to understand how I roll. I win, plain and simple, and I can’t have a sissy on my team.

  “Christ! Give that phone here!” Gia yells, snatching the phone away from me while I blush and snicker, Cameron’s grin and wink causing butterflies to flutter in my belly. “I swear to God, I can’t take another moment of hearing your thoughts. You’re so unstable.”

  “Says the woman who once ate a worm to win a bet,” I scoff, giggling when Connor’s eye twitches and he shudders beside her.

  “You made the dare, asshole. And I’ll have you know my hair grew a full inch that month,” Gia sniffs, slapping Connor when he groans. “You shut up. I watched you lick a dumpster the other night after your cousin called you.”

  “That doesn’t count. Keenan’s the worst,” Connor pouts, his mouth cracking into a smile when I grin at him.

  Maybe I should have him on my team instead of the crier—

  “Not nice, Lu,” Cameron whines, making me realize I spoke out loud again.

  “I’m not nice, O’Dare. Not when winning is on the line. And you!” I snarl, turning back to face my mom and dad. “You owe me a boon for Bamboozle, and you all know it,” I growl, watching my brothers and sister all gasp and jump up, ready to argue me to death because they know just what my boon is going to be.

  “No way. No freaking way,” Gia yells, her eyeballs burning so hard I swear I see a flash of red in them.

  “I agree.”

  “No head starts!” Simon yells, getting ready to argue until I turn on him.

  He scuttles back really fast, which is good because there is so much more I could do to him, and that includes cement.

  “You want to say that to my face? You know, you’re a really sound sleeper, Simon,” I warn, my smile growing dark.

  “Mohoooom. Talk to her. Mom said no more cement on my feet. I nearly lost a toe when they had to chisel it off.”

  “Then you better sit the hell back down, Simon,” I warn, my expression as deadly as I can manage considering I want to laugh. “As for you. I want a head start—and no, you can’t argue it. A boon isn’t limited to anything except getting the clues now.”

  They all groan because they know that’s true, and I feel like a boss when I catch Cameron staring at me with so much awe and admiration it’s akin to getting jewelry. Sigh.

  “Now, Lu, you know it was just in good fun. Besides, you got your man, you have another hunt to look forward to, and your poor dad can’t cry anymore. Please, Lu. It’s really hard to have freaky time when he’s sobbing for days because you hurt his feelings,” Mom whines.

  “Suck it up! You people broke an integral rule—and besides, I have him on my team now,” I huff, waving at Cam. “He’s new. I can’t trust that he’ll be useful,” I point out, ignoring Cam’s pout.

  “Not nice, Sugar.”

  “There is nothing nice about this stupid game,” Melody mutters, making us all gasp in horror. “What? It’s true. Dammit, you people have got to finish this game already. I’m tired of my guy obsessing over this—and, besides, it’s so ridiculous. There are no real prizes,” she sniffs, ignoring Paul’s horror.

  “Who are you?” he breathes, sounding mystified. “I’m not sure I can love you anymore if you don’t take that back. The game is life!” he yells, frowning when his wife rolls her eyes and groans.

  “Whatever. I say you give Lu a head start. You guys have been cheating anyway—”

  “Cheating is vital,” I point out, not to defend anyone, but I can’t exactly argue against it when I cheat all the time.

  Hey, fair is fair.

  “But… what about him? It’s not fair. You said Mel can’t participate in the games, and now Cameron gets to? And Connor? He isn’t even halfway part of the family,” Paul complains like the baby
he is.

  “Shut your mouth. Melody doesn’t want to play anyway,” I huff, glaring at Dad when he sighs and finally stops crying.

  Freaking baby. I swear, if I didn’t love him, I would so disown him for weakness. The problem is, I’m almost certain he uses his tears as a weapon, and I can only have utter respect for that.

  “Actually, I do,” Mel murmurs, smiling darkly when I scowl.

  “So do I,” Laura finally pipes up, grinning at me just as darkly. “What? I’ve always wanted to play; I was just never allowed to,” she mumbles.

  We all turn to look at Simon, and it’s while he’s giving us the big eyes and silently pleading with us not to say anything that I realize, he never wanted her to play. The asshole.

  “Ooooh, broooo,” Cameron mutters, fighting a smile while Simon squirms and swallows.

  “What?” Laura asks, looking around.

  Okay. This is awkward. So freaking awkward—and even I don’t have the heart to tell her that her loving husband thinks she’s the weakest link.

  “What!”

  “Now, Laurie, baby.”

  “Don’t you Laurie baby me, asshole. You didn’t want me to play, did you?” she yells, grabbing his nipple through his shirt and twisting so viciously everyone covers their boobs.

  Even Cameron who up until now was palming his nuts every time I walked near him. Cackle.

  “It’s not that! But you… look at the way you dress, Laur. And you freak out when you get dirty,” he whines, pleading with her to understand. “The hunts aren’t easy, or clean. Tell her,” he begs me.

  Gosh—it’s like he thinks I’m not enjoying watching him squirm or something.

  “It’s true, honey,” Dad finally says, taking pity on Simon, his favorite child.

  The fidiot.

  “It is. Lu, tell her how you got the kitten,” Mom mutters, sighing when I shrug.

  “I had to crawl under a fence to get into an alley, and then I had to dumpster-dive for the clue. It took me two days to find the last clue, and then four hours to find Jaja,” I say, still bragging because that was one I won outright.