My Truth My Time My Turn

by Shelia E. Bell

  “You sure you want to talk about this in front of him?” Hezekiah looked past Khalil and over at Stiles.

  “I’ll step out.”

  “No, no need. There’s nothing this fool has to say that you can’t hear. What do you want?”

  “I want the 100 grand you stole from me. I’m running out of patience, son.”

  Stiles looked at Khalil, his eyes bucked.

  “You must be abusing those drugs they gave you when you had that stroke. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You should know that I’m not one to be messed with.”

  “Oh, are you going to send those goons back to try and rob and kill me?”

  “What is he talking about, Hezekiah? You tried to kill your own son? Man, nothing can be that serious. What’s wrong with you?”

  “You stay out of this, Stiles,” barked Hezekiah.

  “Is that what you’re going to do? You hurt my mother, you hurt her real bad, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make you and that Winston fellow pay for what you did.”

  “Your mother is a strong woman. If you don’t know that by now, that’s on you. She should be the last person you’re worried about.”

  “And if I were you, I’d be spending my last days of freedom trying to right your wrongs instead of trying to dig a grave for me. You’re a pathetic weakling. And to think, I used to look up to you, respect you. I thought you meant what you said when you stood behind that pulpit Sunday after Sunday, week after week. But you’re nothing but a charlatan. A thief. A liar. I can’t wait until you’re back behind bars.”

  Hezekiah released a loud, resounding laugh. “You think those trumped up charges of yours are going to stick? You have no solid proof that I’ve embezzled a dime from this church. And you,” Hezekiah looked at Stiles, “you’re back here at Holy Rock, you better try to teach this boy a thing or two or he’s going to find himself back on the streets hustling drugs and knocking old ladies in the head. Now, I’m telling you one last time, I want my money, Khalil.”

  “And I’m telling you to get out of my church and don’t ever come back. And if I ever find out that you or that Winston fellow, or any of your cronies come near my mother again or even so much as dial her number, you’re the one who’s going to be sorry.”

  “Stop it. This isn’t right,” Stiles spoke up. “Look, I don’t know about this money you say Khalil stole from you. I don’t know if you, Hezekiah, embezzled money from Holy Rock. I know nothing about any of it, but I do know one thing, we’re supposed to be men of God. How can all this discord be happening? What happened to you, Hezekiah to make you so bitter? And you, Khalil, you’re up in the pulpit every Sunday preaching the Word, why do you have so much hatred toward your father? Hezekiah, ever since I found out you were my biological brother, I’ve tried to reach out to you. Tried to have a relationship with you, but for some reason you won’t acknowledge me or have anything to do with me. You’re in God’s house talking about killing your own son. And I don’t know what you’ve done to Fancy, but none of this is acceptable to God.”

  “Don’t preach to me. You can’t tell me a thing. Look at your own track record. Your first wife would rather be with another woman than be with you. And your second wife is maim and crippled all because of you and your failure to be a husband to her. Your kid is dead, your sister is dead, her husband is dead, and that poor excuse of a father is nothing but a lying wolf all dressed up in sheep’s clothing. So get the heck out of my face with your foolery.”

  Stiles was beside himself with anger. Hezekiah’s words had been biting, to the point Stiles wanted to beat Hezekiah to a pulp, but he restrained himself. Just as quickly as he’d spoken about God and being right, he’d quickly tossed his words out of the window after hearing his brother’s vicious verbal attack.

  “Get out of here. Now,” Khalil yelled or I’ll call security and get them to throw your sorry behind out.”

  “Do what you will but let this serve as your last warning. Get me my money. Every single penny of it that you stole from my condo.”

  Khalil flung the door open and stood to the side.

  Hezekiah pushed the ON button of his power chair and maneuvered himself out of the room and into the hall. He looked over his shoulder as he neared the front where Eliana, Sista Mavis, and the rest of the admins and the receptionist sat. “I want my money, Khalil,” he barked.

  Sista Mavis looked up when she heard the loud yelling and talking. Eliana and the others did too.

  “Let me out of here,” Hezekiah said as he approached the door.

  Khalil and Stiles stood just out of view of the office staff.

  Hezekiah had crossed the line too many times. Khalil had to step up his game. How? He didn’t know just yet. Maybe Stiles returning to Memphis was a good thing. Or maybe it was time Khalil returned to what was familiar—the streets-to get things done.

  13

  “There's no place like home, there's no place like home.” John Howard Payne

  “I’m beginning to understand why God had me to accept the position at Holy Rock.”

  “What do you mean exactly?” Kareena asked as they drove away from George Bush Intercontinental Airport.

  “First, let me tell you I was treated like a king. My crib is straight, got a smooth ride at my disposal, neither of which I have to pay a dime for and then a salary that won’t have me stressing about a thing. God is good, Kareena.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. But is that what you meant by you understand now why God sent you back there?”

  “Not exactly. I see my family needs me. My presence at Holy Rock is needed. There’s a lot going on. Family dissension. Father pitted against sons. Husband against wife. Brother against brother. It’s a mess, Kareena, and I found myself in the middle of it yesterday, the day before leaving to come back home. I guess God has his reasons for not letting me witness how bad the dysfunction was in the family until yesterday.”

  “Is there anything you can do to help? And why are your nephews against each other?”

  “Oh, I wasn’t talking about Khalil and Xavier against one another, although I do know Khalil can’t get pass the fact Xavier is gay. I was talking about me and my brother. Hezekiah came to Holy Rock yesterday. Unannounced of course. He made some serious accusations and even more serious threats toward Khalil. The enemy is definitely out for blood is all I can say. I’m glad to be back in Houston, but I’m still carrying that scene that unfolded yesterday with me. It’s in my mind and I can’t get it out. I’ve got to do some serious praying. I need to hear clearly from God about what I need to do.”

  Kareena listened with her whole heart. Whatever went down in Memphis had Stiles upset and worried. His family must have really shown out some kind of way.

  “Enough about me and my family. How have things been here?”

  “You and I have talked almost every day, so you know things at Full of Grace are good. Reverend Givens stepped up and showed out in your absence. He may have just joined the Full of Grace staff but he would have made you proud. Were you able to look at the livestream?”

  “No, unfortunately not. I was in church service the same time our services were being streamed. Did you make a tape I can go back and watch?”

  “You know I did. It’s in your office.”

  “Anybody join?”

  “Yes, we had two people to join last Sunday.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear that. At least I don’t have to come back to a lot of drama.”

  “Are you hungry? Do you need to stop and get something to eat?”

  “No, I’m good. I’ll get out and get something later if I need to. You can just take me home and I’ll get my car. I need to go to Full of Grace.”

  “You don’t have to do that unless you just want to. I can take you. I was going back there anyway. I have a few things I need to finish up. I really don’t mind.”

  “I might be there awhile. I mean it’s already going on three o’clock. You’re usu
ally out of there by five.”

  “I don’t mind staying later if you need me to. There’s always something for me to work on, and you might need me to go over some of the things I put on your desk for your review.”

  “What about your fiancé? I don’t want River to feel as if I’m embarking on his time.” Stiles fished.

  “River is out of town on business, so I don’t have any plans for this evening. Plus, he understands how much time my job involves. He’s good with that. He’s a busy man himself.”

  “Okay, in that case, let’s stop by Carl’s Jr. I’ve been wanting to try that new vegan burger combo they have. They don’t have a Carl’s Jr. in Memphis. We can take it back to the church, unless you want to dine out somewhere.”

  “No, I’ll get me something from Carl’s. That’ll be my dinner.”

  “Great, Carl’s Jr. it is.”

  Sitting in the conference room attached to Stiles’ office, he and Kareena ate and talked.

  She pressed him to talk about what had gone on in Memphis.

  “How was your father?”

  “I would be lying if I said I’m not concerned about him. Physically, he’s getting around as good as I am, but mentally he’s getting confused. Poor Josie, she’s worried sick about him. I don’t blame her. The neurologist has him on some medicine that’s supposed to help slow the progression of the disease.”

  “So he has Alzheimer’s?”

  “Dementia. Josie is changing his diet, taking him off meat and sticking more to a plant-based diet. Research shows that a plant-based diet may help people with dementia and Alzheimer’s.”

  “That’s good to know. I’ll keep praying for him. And I’m sorry to hear so much discord is going on within your family. I was hoping you would be able to connect with your brother while you were there. Maybe all is not lost. You’ll be going back and forth to Memphis so things stand a chance of getting better.”

  “Yep. Nothing is impossible with God. I think my brother just has a lot of pride. Plus, he’s hurt. I can’t say I blame him. I mean it was tough for me learning the woman I thought was my mother wasn’t my biological mother, but instead she was my aunt. So I guess I understand some of what’s going on inside his head. He has a lot of bitterness built up. He believes Pastor knew about him all along but made no effort when he was a kid to see him or get to know him. But our biological mother had serious mental issues. I don’t know how much of that is true. All I do know is at some point we have to forgive and try to move forward.”

  Kareena gave him a hard stare. Here he was talking about forgiving and moving forward in life yet he couldn’t let go of his own past. He couldn’t seem to truly forgive those who had hurt his heart.

  “Did you just hear yourself?”

  “What?”

  “You’re talking about forgiving, but have you forgiven yourself and others who hurt you? You won’t even allow yourself to love. How is that forgiving?”

  “Look, you and I both know that’s not my problem. I believe I can say that I have forgiven myself and I’ve forgiven the ones that hurt me. If you’re talking about me and you, the timing just wasn’t right, Kareena. It’s obvious it was not God’s will or you wouldn’t be engaged to River.”

  Kareena didn’t mean to go down this path, but she needed to get some things off her mind. She cared for River, even loved him, but her heart had always been with Stiles. One thing he said was true—it wasn’t meant to be and she had to accept that.

  “I love River. He’s a good man, but—

  “But what?”

  “I am…or used to be…in love with you, Stiles. I don’t know how I mistook your feelings for me. I just thought, well, I guess I wanted to believe you were in love with me too.”

  “Things happen, Kareena. Life doesn’t always deal us the hand we want. But whatever it deals us we have to play that hand and play it to win. You’re a great woman and I know you’re going to make a wonderful wife to River.”

  “You’re right, and the past is the past. There is no us and I’ve come to accept that. River and I will be walking down the aisle the end of the year, if God says the same.”

  “I believe He will. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for any hurt I’ve caused you. I’m sorry for leading you on and giving you false hope that there could be anything more than friendship between us. Will you, can you, forgive me?”

  Kareena looked at Stiles as tears formed and settled in the corners of her eyes. She nodded. “I have no choice. God commands us to forgive.”

  “This Beyond Burger is delish,” Stiles said, taking a big bite of his burger then picking up some fries and popping them into his mouth. He couldn’t remain on the subject of him and Kareena and what might have been or could have been. It was still a sensitive topic. He saw that when he saw the tears in her eyes and the tremble in her voice. Why was he the way he was?

  “My sandwich is good too. Carl’s Jr.’s food is always fresh and good though so I’m not surprised. Like Stiles, she knew it wasn’t good for them to dwell on the past. She had a good man in her life. From this moment forward she was going to focus on giving all her love to him. River deserved that much. God had connected their paths and she was not going to let Stiles’ issues rub off on her. She would always care about him, but hearing him, sitting across the desk from him, seeing his expression, was all she needed to know that it would take an act of God to tear down the walls he’d built around his heart.

  “Did you hear anything about your high school friend who was murdered? Has anyone been arrested?”

  Stiles shook his head. “Unfortunately, not, and to be honest I don’t know how hard the MPD is looking. To them it’s just another black man. I know it’s not always the case, but most of the time it is, especially in Memphis.”

  “Did you see his wife?”

  “Yes, I got a chance to visit her and the kids while I was there. She’s still grieving. Leo was her everything. He was a good father, too. She misses him a lot and so do the kids. It’s so sad. A man taken away from his family like that. I know he had his secrets and all, but he didn’t deserve to die like that.”

  “It’s so sad. The more I think about things, I believe you were right to take the position at Holy Rock. You’re needed there. You can be there for Leo’s widow and his kids. You can be there for your father and his wife, for your nephews, and your brother. I know your brother is still in a not-so-good space, but I believe in time things will change and get better.”

  “He’s facing fed time, too. That has to weigh heavy on him. I know it would if it were me. The man is no saint, but he’s a child of God and I still believe he loves the Lord. Things have to work out for my family. They just have to. And Fancy, his ex-wife, is dealing with it from all directions. That woman is a strong sista, I’m telling you.”

  “Even more reason it makes sense that you need to be there.”

  “Thanks, Kareena.” He took another bite of his food and for the next fifteen minutes, they ate, laughed, and talked, staying away from any more sensitive conversations.

  All in all, it was good to be back home.

  14

  “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”

  Comforting Quotes

  Fancy stepped out into the warm welcoming sunshine with a new boldness. No more crying. No more being depressed about life. No more giving in to the negativity that tried to attack her mind over and over. She was a on a new mission in life.

  “I’m on my way,” she told Victoria.

  She climbed inside her Benz GLC, put the luxury ride in reverse until she was on the street. Putting the pedal to the metal, a smile came over her as she said aloud, “I’m facing my truth. w, and no matter what’s put in my way, I’m going to be okay.”

  “I’m so glad you’re finally out of that funk. I don’t like it when you’re down in your spirit,” Victoria said. Fancy and Victoria had become basically best friends. Tara was still both of their friends but Tara had a hus
band and kids. She didn’t have the freedom nor did she want to live the kind of life Victoria and Fancy led. Victoria and Fancy were two single women with adult children, no babies underfoot. Victoria helped Fancy realize that she had a lot to offer the world. She was a sassy, smart, sophisticated woman who deserved the best in life, and she was determined to live her best life now.

  “To the mall first?”

  “Yes, let’s do this,” Victoria said when she got inside Fancy’s car. “It’s the weekend baby, and I’ve got my best friend back! Yayyyy!”

  “Girl, you are so silly.”

  Fancy and Victoria hung out all day and well into the evening. After shopping and buying several new outfits, they went to the spa and got the royal treatment. After leaving the spa, they dined at a fine dining restaurant. They caught the attention of several men at the mall and at the restaurant. While they were eating, Fancy saw some of the men who were with their wives or significant others, sneaking a look at her. She welcomed the attention. When they were at the mall, they even shared their phone numbers with a couple of eligible bachelors they met. They laughed and giggled like they were teenagers again. All in all, Fancy felt amazing. No more looking back. It was time to see what she’d been missing in life.

  When she arrived home later that evening, she was exhausted but she didn’t regret a single moment of the day. She took off her clothes down to her undies then went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of white wine.

  She took the wine and went into the family room. Her tablet was sitting on the table. She picked it up, powered it on, and prepared to start back on the book she had been reading. After reading a few chapters, she turned on the television. The ten o’clock news was coming on. She rarely watched the news. There was too much negativity and bad news. She often prayed that Memphis would have a revival and the violence and crime would stop. She surfed for a few minutes and then came across another local news station. She paused when she saw the picture of Deacon Leo. Turning the television volume up, placing the remote next to her and putting the tablet on the table, she listened to the reporter.