Aladdin and the Flying Dutchman

by Piers Anthony

  But how?

  Nevermind that now. Be still, Aladdin.

  I don’t understand.

  You will.

  But as Hades continued to bear down on me, I suddenly saw the logic. This was a game. Not hand-to-hand combat. And in a game, I doubted one’s opponent could simply run another opponent over. It would be a foul. One was given the right to stand one’s ground. And Hades, I was certain, was assuming I would leap out of his way, or foul him going for the ball. I doubted he would expect me to stand my ground.

  And so that’s exactly what I did. Both feet planted shoulder width. Hades dropped his shoulder still, and came at me even faster. He sought to intimidate me. I was intimidated, trust me. Who wanted such a Goliath of a being to run over them? Not me.

  Be strong, Aladdin.

  I held my ground and a moment later, Hades drove his shoulder into my chest, leveling me and knocking the wind out of me. I caught his expression just as contact was made: one of utter surprise.

  “Foul!” he cried.

  “Precisely,” said the referee. “Aladdin of Agrabah is awarded one free shot.”

  I took my position at the appropriate free shot line. Above and around me, demons hissed. Hades glared at me. I swallowed, wishing like hell that this ball was, instead, a bow and arrow and I was aiming instead at a bullseye. From here, the vertical loop seemed impossibly small, but I knew no magic could help.

  The snapping ball didn’t help. I hefted it in my hands, getting a feel for the weight. It was now or never.

  I raised the demon-head ball, took aim.

  The ground began to shake. A thundering sound appeared to my right. I turned. Something massive was bearing down on me. A beast of some kind with a thick horn protruding from between its eyes and a smaller one beneath. It was covered in body armor and it was moving mind-bogglingly fast.

  From the outside of the arena, I saw Duban with his eyes closed and hands raised. The creature had been summoned by him. My own stepson.

  Unlike Hades, there was no surviving this charge. I was about to be flattened—that is, until a massive hole appeared in the dirt of the arena, and the charging beast promptly dropped from sight.

  I was just breathing a sigh of relief when a shadow passed overhead. No, not a winged demon. Something bigger. I looked up as a dragon bore down on me. Black talons extended. Hades chuckled nearby. In the next moment, another creature appeared behind the first, descending fast. Another dragon—but bigger. The two winged creatures battled in mid-air, exchanging blasts of fire that seared the air just above my head and obliterated a whole section of shrieking demons.

  Now the dragons were locked talon to talon, circling in the air, where they disappeared with a thunderous crash beyond the arena.

  Shoot the ball, Aladdin, came Lamprey’s words. Now.

  I nodded and swallowed and had just turned back to the vertical stone rim when I heard something hissing nearby. It was a snake. I was sure of it, and it was bearing down on me.

  Focus, Aladdin.

  Except I wasn’t sure whose words those were. Maybe my own. I did focus, doing my best to blot out the slithering form that was rapidly appearing in my peripheral vision, and shot the ball—

  It sailed up and toward the hoop.

  My shot looked good. The ball had a nice arc to it. I had lined it up nicely. Perhaps my eternal soul would be saved after all...

  And as the ball approached the rim, I saw something that made me blink hard. The basket shifted slightly to the left. Just slightly. The demon-head ball clanked off the stone and fell with a thud. No one could have noticed it but me.

  “And me,” said Lamprey, but now the powerful djinn wasn’t in my head. He was by my side. And with a swipe of his hand, the massive snake, surely big enough to swallow me whole, exploded into tens of thousands of earth worms, which quickly burrowed into the dirt of the stadium. The djinn turned to Hades. “No magic, old friend. You are disqualified.”

  Hades, perhaps for the first time since I had set eyes on the god of the Underworld, looked truly surprised. “I should have known Aladdin would bring his pet djinn.”

  “I’m quite a pet,” said Lamprey, and raised his hands and an explosion unlike anything I had ever heard rocked the arena and sent the god of the Underworld hurling back. Lamprey next turned to me. “Aladdin, I suggest you run. Take your boy and nymphs and leave. I have an old score to settle here, and it will not be pretty—or safe—for you to hang around.”

  Can you teleport all of them back to the gate? asked Myrrh frantically, her words appearing in my mind and no doubt Lamprey’s.

  “No,” came Lamprey’s verbal reply, as he turned to face Hades who was just now picking himself up. “It takes far too much concentration—and I’m a little distracted right now.”

  Demons erupted everywhere, filling the sky, shrieking and swooping. Damned humans scattered in every direction, many breaking free of their chains. The round arena began collapsing, but I wondered just how real it was. Medea was gone. Where she had gone off to, I hadn’t a clue. Duban and the nymphs were soon at my side.

  Duban threw his arms around my waist. “Father, it wasn’t me—”

  “I know—”

  In that moment, an explosion from Hades rocked us, hurling us off our feet. As I sat up, I saw that Lamprey had protected us with something that looked very much like a shield of light. Hades moved toward us determinedly. Many of his most powerful demons had stopped swooping and appeared behind him or at his side, each more hideous-looking than the next. And all that stood between them and us was Lamprey, King of Djinnland.

  To my surprise, Lamprey called the boy over and spoke to him quietly, although he kept his eyes on the approaching horde from hell. My stepson nodded solemnly. “Now go,” said Lamprey. “Hurry.”

  “What about you?” I asked. There was no way in hell—literally—I was going to leave my friend alone.

  “I’ll be fine, my friend. Trust me. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.”

  Just then, more beings appeared around Lamprey, at first dozens of them...and then hundreds, thousands. Djinns. All of them. Lamprey’s army.

  Now Lamprey looked back at me and winked. “Remember, Aladdin, trust the boy.”

  I took Duban’s hand and summoned the nymphs to my fingers. Soon, we were dashing away, back through the crumbling arena and out into an open field—and then plunging into a dense forest.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  We hardly got into the forest before we encountered Medea. “Beware,” Duban said. “She is no longer your second.”

  Excellent advice, Nylon thought, and Sylvie agreed. They did not much like the sorceress.

  “No longer,” Medea agreed. “Nor are you Hades’ second, Duban. But we retain a common interest: to get out of Hades. I want to establish a truce until we accomplish that.”

  I pondered quickly. Medea had been an excellent second during my combat with Hades, and she could surely help us escape this dangerous realm.

  Also, you still want to get into her pantaloons, Nylon thought.

  I turned to Duban. “What do you think?”

  The boy appraised the woman with the attitude of someone who no longer feared her power. Knowing Duban, I suspected that was justified; he had evidently learned a lot of magic in a hurry. “If she commits to a truce, she will keep it,” Duban said. “It is better to have her with us than against us.”

  Oh, fish dung! Sylvie thought. You will get into her pants.

  There’s no accounting for a man’s tastes, Nylon agreed.

  I did not argue that case. “Truce,” I agreed.

  Medea stepped forward and kissed me. This time it was not an attempt to sexually enslave me, but more of a promise to be honored in due course. I was quite pleased to have it.

  “As your ally in truce,” Medea said, “I must warn you: do not proceed farther into this forest. I came out here to explore the way back to the Gates, and ascertained that this is the Lost Forest. N
o one who enters it can find his way out of it, until summoned by the ruler of Hades. It is where souls are parked until Hades decides how best to torture them. It is not unpleasant, but it is a prison. We must find another route.”

  Duban nodded. “I am verifying this.”

  That was good enough for me. I turned and walked back to the edge of the forest.

  A howling horde of demons spotted me and charged. It seemed that not all of them were engaged in the big battle. I stepped hastily back. “We have a problem.”

  “We do,” Medea agreed. “Duban and I might hold off the demons, but that would not get us back to the Gate, and would attract attention. We do not know the outcome of the conflict of titans, but dare not presume its outcome. We need to get out of here on our own, swiftly.”

  It seemed I had another choice to make. “We’ll brave the forest.”

  “Fool,” Medea said, almost fondly.

  Fool, Nylon and Nydea echoed, similarly.

  Duban looked doubtful, but did not speak. He knew it was a difficult decision.

  “If there’s a way in, there must be a way out,” I said, plunging ahead.

  The path opened out, becoming a beautiful trail girt by foliage and flowers. It led to a pleasant glade.

  And there, amazingly, were Jewel, Myrrh, and Nydea, together with Cerberus. Were they real, or illusions?

  “How did you get here?” I asked.

  “We were having a picnic,” Jewel answered. “Then thought to take a walk in the pleasant grove. But we could not find our way out of it.”

  “All paths in the Lost Forest lead to the center,” Medea said. “None lead out.”

  Then I was kissing Jewel, and Duban was hugging Myrrh. We were glad to be reunited. But we remained in a bad situation.

  I oriented on Medea. “There has to be a way out. You would not have entered with us if you knew there was no escape.”

  “There may be,” Medea said. “But it is complicated, and I do not know the route.”

  “But you know how to find it,” Duban said.

  “Perhaps. But that is not part of the truce.”

  She’s bargaining, Nylon thought.

  “What do you want?” I asked Medea impatiently.

  “A deal for the real world outside Hades, at such time as we get there.”

  “What deal?”

  Medea sighed. “You are not much for subtlety.”

  “I’m a man.”

  That certainly covers it, Nylon thought.

  “You surely are. That is part of the point.”

  I was getting annoyed, but stifled it. “What deal?”

  “I want to be your mistress.”

  “The Hades!” Jewel snapped.

  “One of your concubines, then.”

  “What about Jason?” Jewel asked.

  “He spurns me. My loyalty to him was foolish. I see that now. I want a man who is loyal to his wife.”

  That seemed nonsensical, but I saw Jewel considering. A man who was loyal to his wife should also be loyal to his concubines, so it did actually make sense. “What do you offer in return?”

  “I believe I know of a person who can find a way out of the forest. Make the deal and I will summon her.”

  “Yet another concubine?” Jewel asked sharply. I could see that her patience with this sort of thing was limited.

  “Not at all. Her interest is not of that nature.”

  “Done,” Jewel said reluctantly. I knew she was desperate to get out of Hades and back home so she could have her baby in peace and comfort.

  “Not yet,” I said tersely. “Release my friend Sinbad. You can keep the Thief.”

  Medea looked regretful. “I was hoping you wouldn't think of that.” She touched the ring on her hand. It dropped to the ground, unwinding, and landed as Sinbad.

  “Beloved!” he cried, spying Nydea.

  The two came together, kissing. Love had been restored.

  Jewel caught my eye, nodding approval. I had managed to do something she appreciated.

  “Now it's a deal,” I said.

  Medea turned to Cerberus. “Fetch Idrin. You can locate her telepathically. She will not be far away. No one is, here in the Lost Forest.”

  Cerberus bounded off, glad to be of service. Somehow the women had tamed him, and he evidently liked being treated like a pet.

  “Who is Idrin?” I asked. “I have heard that name before.”

  “Indeed. So it seems you did not sleep entirely through your wife’s narrations for the figurehead.”

  “The girl in my story!” Jewel exclaimed. “The one Idris Ifrit befriended. How can she be here?”

  “This is the place of future folk as well as past folk. I knew she would be here.”

  Future folk? This was a fiction folk. Did it matter?

  Cerberus bounded back. Astride two of his necks were two lovely young women. They dismounted and stood before us.

  “We are so glad to meet you at last,” the sultry one said to Jewel. “I am Idris Ifrit.”

  “I am Idrin,” the other said, more shyly. “Thank you so much for creating me.”

  “But you’re just a character in a story!” Jewel protested.

  “I am so much more than that, thanks to you,” Idrin said. “I owe you everything.”

  Jewel shook her head, not fully accepting this. So it was up to me to get to the point. “Can you show us the way out of here, Idrin?”

  “Yes, but it is dangerous. It might be easier just to remain here.”

  “No,” Jewel said firmly.

  I knew that was that. My wife’s firmness was another person’s hard rock. “Can we trust her?” I asked Myrrh, whose telepathy was good for things like this.

  “With your life,” Myrrh said emphatically.

  Was I missing something? This was a fictional person, animated here in Hades; she couldn’t have much depth of character. Yet I trusted Myrrh’s judgment. “Do it,” I told Idrin.

  The girl and the ifrit walked ahead of us, showing the way. They had similar figures, yet somehow the ifrit oozed sex appeal while the girl was merely a nice girl. Curious contrast.

  Belatedly, I also noticed that we were not following a path, but rather were winding through crevices in the foliage. No path led out of the forest, but it seemed that there was after all a way.

  We reached a kind of alley through the trees, where the ground was pressed flat and nothing grew. We paused.

  “Here there be dragons,” Idris said. “They threaten to consume any souls who venture this way.”

  Cerberus strode forward. “No, they have fire,” Sinbad warned. “You can't get close enough to chomp them.”

  The big dog paused, accepting the caution.

  “Duban?” I said. “Medea?”

  Both of them stepped forward into the alley. Immediately the dragons charged from either direction, jetting fire. Duban held up his left hand, and the dragon on the left crashed into an invisible wall, painfully compacting its hot snoot. Medea held up her right hand and the dragon on the right encountered a scintillating curtain that electrified it; in fact for a moment its entire skeleton showed as a glowing internal framework. That was some shock!

  We walked between the two defunct monsters and continued on our way as if nothing had happened. In due course we came to another alley. This one was patrolled by a giant ogre. It saw us and bared its yellow meat-chopper teeth. The women held Cerberus back. Duban and Medea stepped forth again, the ogre reached down, and received two water bombs in its ears. Or rather, acid bombs, because in moments its head melted. Disconcerted, the monster lumbered away, headless. Ogres were not smart; it would take it time to discover its loss.

  “We work well together,” Medea remarked to Duban. “Perhaps some day we will have more of a relationship.”

  “The Hades!” Jewel and Myrrh said together.

  Medea merely smiled knowingly. I gritted my teeth.

  Eventually we emerged from the forest and arrived at the outer wall. “How is it y
ou knew the way out, when there is supposed to be no way out?” Jewel asked Idrin.

  “No path out,” Idris said.

  “I’d rather not say,” the girl said. “It’s awkward.”

  “Oh, come on,” Jewel said. “If you don’t tell us, we shall have to find some way to repay you for your service to us.”

  “Oh, no, no need for that,” the girl protested. “I would do anything for you. Anything at all. I owe everything to you.”

  I was curious too, so I let Jewel proceed in her relentless way. What was the mystery of this invented girl?

  “I have greater freedom than other souls,” Idrin finally explained, “because if I did not find the way out, there would be a paradox.”

  “Paradox!” Jewel said. “How can such a simple thing be that?”

  “Because you are destined to continue your life in joy and fulfillment as Queen for a long time to come,” Idrin said. “You could not do that if you did not escape Hades.”

  “Yes, of course. But how does this relate to you, when you’re not even real?”

  “I will become fully real in a few months, beyond Hades,” Idrin said.

  “A few months?”

  The girl blushed. “When you birth me. I don’t want to be born in Hades.”

  Jewel stared at her, speechless. That very seldom happened to my wife.

  “Yes,” Myrrh said softly. “Idrin is your daughter-to-be. That’s why she is doing her utmost to help you.”

  Still wordless, Jewel hugged her, tears flowing. That, too, seldom happened to her.

  Then Idrin disengaged and turned to me. I hugged her too, wordless and tearful. Beyond her I saw Medea, and I realized she had known. Instead of using it against me, she had honored our deal and used it on our behalf. It seemed she truly wanted our acceptance, apart from escape from Hades, just as Cerberus did.

  “Mother, I must take the Key,” Duban said. “It is a rare and potent artifact that could be dangerous near a baby. Lamprey is trusting me to safeguard it for him.”

  So that was what Lamprey had said to Duban. The boy was now a full magician, and could surely handle the dangerous artifact. Jewel handed over the Key.

  Duban unlocked the Gate and we passed through. As we did, Idrin and Idris faded out. They were no longer in Hades. I wondered whether the ifrit would reappear after Idrin was born. I rather thought she would. After all, Jewel had made her too.