“Well, I did fall in love and give birth to your dear father.” Her face grew pensive for a long moment, “Edward was the best thing to ever happen to me. He was a sculptor, like me. God my parents hated him, but he was kind, and he understood me in a way that no one else did. I miss him every single day.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what, dear?” She looked at Poppy quizzically, “I had thirty incredible years with the love of my life. Few people can claim as much.”
“So, you agree then?” I asked after a moment, steering the conversation back into port, “That Poppy should take a break?”
“How the hell should I know? I barely know the girl, no offense,” She added the last, directing it towards Poppy who just shrugged.
“No worries. It’s the truth. I wouldn’t presume to tell a complete stranger how to live their life.”
They shared a beaming smile.
“Precisely,” my grandmother said sharply, and I could feel any slim control over the conversation I had slipping away. “Did Nathanial say you were in fashion?”
“Yes, I design plus sized fashion. I was a model for years and I realized that there aren’t many accessible fashion houses designed for women with curves. I want to change that.”
“That’s fabulous.” My grandmother said, clapping in delight and I swallowed nervously at the look in her eye. “I’m on the board for the Chaplain Society. We put on a little soiree every year, the Midsummer Fashion show, perhaps you’ve heard of it?”
Poppy choked, her eyes going wide.
“Heard of it? It’s one of the most prestigious fashion events of the year.”
“Why, yes it is,” My grandmother said, pleased, “How would you like to participate? We are still looking for a fifteen minute slot for emerging designers. What do you say?”
For the first time since I’d known her, Poppy was completely silent. She stared at my grandmother in shock, and as the seconds ticked by, I couldn’t remain quiet myself.
“No.”
Both women looked at me again, neither saying a word.
“No, Poppy. Don’t do it. It’s just extra work, extra stress that you don’t need right now.”
“Nate, this is an incredible opportunity, I don’t think you understand–.”
“No, you don’t understand.” I felt my own anxiety swell out of control, “You…you can’t do this, Poppy. Absolutely not.”
“Excuse me?”
* * *
Poppy
I stared at Nate in shock for a long moment. He stared back, finally letting out a long breath before taking a step back.
“I just…I need a minute. Excuse me.”
All I could do was sit there and watch Nate turn around and flee from the room, leaving me alone with his dragon of a grandmother. Not that I was intimidated by her, well, not much anyway, in fact, I admired her. She was exactly the same kindred spirit as I was, strong and independent. Not letting others dictate our actions, just like Nate was trying to do. The nerve of him! To try and forbid me from what could be the biggest break of my career.
“I can’t believe he would try and…” I trailed off, too shocked to even put it into words and say it out loud. Nate’s grandmother just shrugged and took another small sip of tea.
“I can.” She sighed, putting the cup back precisely on its matching saucer. “Williamson men are dictatorial and stubborn as all hell. Nate was always the easiest going of the boys.”
“You call that easy going?”
“You should have seen his father,” Izzy shook her head, “I loved my son dearly, but he saw the chaos of my life and he hated it. He hated being the outcast, he hated being different from the others in the family. He dedicated his life to ‘restoring the family name’ as he called it.”
She paused and gave a sad shake of her head, “Nate is a lot more like me than he would like to admit, but his father drilled into him that following the rules and maintaining the family’s reputation was more important than anything. He was a stern man, too stern most of the time and some of that rubbed off on Nate, inevitably.”
Izzy leaned forward suddenly, her gaze intense, “The difference though, is that Nate cares about you.”
“What? How do you know that?”
“Because he brought you here. He’s never done that. He’s never brought a woman to meet me before. I assume you’re sleeping together?”
I couldn’t help but blush at the blunt question.
“Uh….”
“You know what, don’t answer. None of my business,” She said with a wink, her eyes twinkling in delight, “So, what do you say? About the Midsummer show?”
“Yes!” I said immediately. Maybe I should have told her I’d have to think about it, maybe I should have been worried about my health spiraling even worse. But I couldn’t. I had worked so hard to get where I was, Jefferson and Thalia had both worked so hard. There wasn’t any other answer I could give her.
“Yes, of course I’ll do it.”
“Fantastic! I’ll let the board know this evening and we’ll have the details sent to you.”
“Fantastic.” I mirrored, still somewhat in a daze as I rose to my feet and held out my hand. “Thank you so much. It really is an incredible opportunity.”
“I know.” Izzy said with another shrug before shaking my hand and gesturing towards the door, “And please, be patient with Nate. I know he can be a stick in the mud sometimes, but he’s worth the effort, I promise you. However, he just behaved like a terrible bore, so make him sweat a little first. An apology on his knees, flowers, champagne. You deserve those things. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.”
“I…where is Nate?”
“Oh, knowing him he’s in the garden past the side gate. He always loved to sit out there and think as a boy.”
“Thank you, Izzy.”
“Of course, dear. Remember what I said now.”
I nodded as she closed the door and I turned around towards the street. I took a step towards the garden gate, but then everything that Nate had said came rushing back and all the anger right along with it. I couldn’t talk to him right now, not after that. I needed some time to myself, to fume.
With that, I turned and walked the other direction. If Nate wanted to talk to me, well, he could just come and apologize himself. Because I deserved better.
9
Poppy
“Damn it!” I swore as the two pieces of delicate as air lace I was currently sculpting tore from a much too forceful swipe of my needle and thread. I threw it down with another curse, and then stomped on it with one more just for good measure.
I had been in the studio all day, fuming about what Nate had said. I had thought throwing myself into work would help distract me but he kept popping up in my thoughts like a gas bubble rising in a swamp, filling me with noxious anger and making it damned near impossible to concentrate.
After leaving Nate’s grandmother’s house I’d gone straight home, but Thalia had been there, still moping after the breakup and all she’d wanted to talk about was Nate. It had been torture, firstly, just hearing Thalia talk about her relationship with him, and secondly because it kept him there at the forefront of my mind until I felt like my anger was about to explode.
I had to get out of there. I couldn’t focus on anything, and I knew if I stayed there any longer I would say something terrible, like spilling the fact that Nate and I were sleeping together which was the last thing Thalia needed to hear. And if I was being honest, I just didn’t want to deal with another fight. One was more than enough for me to meet and surpass my drama meter.
So, I’d left. There were already blankets and pillows and a blow up mattress at the studio. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d stayed up all night working only to collapse in an exhausted daze to grab a few hours of rest before getting up and getting back it once more.
I’d spent the last night here at my studio, surrounded by the designs from the show that Jefferson had steam
ed and put back in their garment bags, all hanging neatly on their rack, except for the dress that was now in a wrinkled pile on the floor because of my temper tantrum.
I was glad no one else was there to see the state I, or the dress, was in and picked it up with a wince.
“I’m sorry, dress.” I whispered, putting it lovingly back on the manikin and putting it away. I obviously wasn’t in any sort of right mind to deal with such delicate work. I needed something raw and messy and chaotic. Something expressive to channel the frustration that was still bubbling just beneath the surface of my skin.
After clearing off the big stainless steel work table that I had salvaged from a restaurant that had closed down the street, I grabbed the giant pad of newsprint tucked in one corner and slapped it on the scuffed metal surface.
With a flick, I opened it up to a random blank page, grabbed a pencil and started drawing. I didn’t have a design in mind. I didn’t even know what I was drawing, if it was clothing at all. I just knew that I needed to make something, to exorcise the anger by getting it out of me and down onto paper.
I sketched, and lost myself in the process of it, of letting my creativity and inspiration rise to the surface, letting it take me wherever it wanted to without trying to control it. Unlike Nate, who felt like he could control what I did.
“Ahh, get out of my head,” I groaned as my thoughts circled back towards Nate like a compass pointing towards true north.
It only made it worse that I knew he didn’t mean anything bad by he. He wanted to protect me, he was a doctor after all. It made sense that he would be worried about a repeat of my last spectacular fall and end up back in the hospital.
But that wasn’t going to happen this time. I knew what to expect now. I would know when I needed to back off, and I knew that it wasn’t now. Not with this prime opportunity just dropped into my lap.
The Midsummer show was one of the most prestigious fashion shows of the year in the city, drawing thousands of people, and millions of dollars. It was my chance to show the world my designs, to show the world that women with curves deserved high fashion as much as anyone else.
I was so lost in my drawing that I didn’t even notice the sound of the chimes going off as the door opened. It wasn’t until Jefferson spoke behind me that I even realized someone else was there.
“Wow, Poppy. That’s amazing.”
“Whah!” I turned around with a shriek, my hand flying up to my chest, “Holy shit, Jefferson. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Literally just walked inside, the bells rang on the door. And then walked right past you, multiple times. There was zero sneaking.” He tilted his head and gave me a long look, “Are you okay? Are you having another anxiety attack? Do I need to call 911?”
“What? No! Of course not. I was just lost in my work, that’s all.” I huffed, taking in several deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm my racing heartbeat.
“If you’re sure,” he said after a minute, still looking at me dubiously. I was happy when he shifted his gaze back down to the sketches spread out on the table. “These really are amazing, you know.”
“I…” I paused, realizing I’d been sketching for an hour and I had barely stopped to even look at the designs. They had started out rough and angry, exactly how I’d felt, but slowly they transformed into something more refined. Still edgy, but with some of the sharpness dulled, contrasting the structure. “You know, they aren’t bad.”
They weren’t good enough for the Midsummer show, but they weren’t bad either.
“Not bad?” Jefferson said, looking at me askance once more, “Poppy, these are far from not bad.” He glanced around, noting the air mattress blown up in the corner. “Did you sleep here last night?”
“I needed some quiet time just to work…and think.”
“Well as long as you weren’t trying to avoid me,” Thalia’s voice echoed from the door and I jumped again. I had to stop doing that. “I brought coffee!” She said cheerfully and all angst was forgotten as the sweet smell of caffeine filled the small studio.
“You are a goddess.” I told her, taking a cup and grateful sip, not even caring that the steaming hot liquid scalding my tongue on the way down.
“Of course I am,” Thalia said with a laugh, “Here you go, Jay, I got you a double espresso. That’s your favorite, right?”
“Y…yes. It is. Um. Th–thanks, Thalia.” Jefferson stuttered and I watched over the rim of the coffee cup lid as he bashfully took his coffee, blushing an adorable shade of burgundy. Thalia was the only one he let call him Jay, the first letter of his name. Thalia said his full name was too much of a mouthful and he’d smiled and said he loved it.
I’d tried to call him that once and he’d given me a scowl, telling me curtly that his name was Jefferson. I hid my smile as I took another drink. The man was absolutely smitten. It would have been cute if it didn’t turn him nearly mute whenever Thalia was in. Luckily, most of what Thalia did involved emails and schmoozing people so she wasn’t in the studio often.
“Are these designs for a new collection, Poppy?” Jefferson asked, staring sideways at Thalia the whole time. I nearly rolled my eyes. She didn’t even notice. I wasn’t even sure if she was aware of the way he felt about her. Kind of like the way I’d pined after Nate for a year, I thought uncomfortable. God, I hope I hadn’t stared after him like a lost puppy dog the way Jefferson was staring after Thalia.
“Uh, Poppy?”
“Right, so, these drawing. I was just messing around, needed to get the ideas flowing. There are some elements here that might work,” I tilted my head, observing the drawings from different angles, “None of them are good enough for the Midsummer show, though.”
I didn’t notice that both of them had fallen silent, staring at me with almost identical expressions of shock.
“Did you just say the Midsummer show?” Thalia squealed, “How? When? What?”
“I, um, ran into a member of the board that puts on the show and she said they had a fifteen minute slot for an emerging designer,” that was all true, I thought guiltily. There was no way I could tell them that I’d just casually met Nate’s grandmother. Thalia had never even met the woman. “She asked if I wanted it and I said yes. She’s sending over the details this week.”
“Oh my god! Thalia, this is enormous!” Thalia flew around the table and gave me a quick hug. “This is the best news! It’s exactly what I need to get my mind off of that jerk, Nate.”
I forced a smile, grateful when she turned around to give Jefferson a hug as well. He went stock still, freezing in place long after she’d let go and turned back towards me with a delighted clap of her hands.
“We have so much to do, the show is, what, only eleven months away?”
“Less than that, actually.” I said, commiserating with her. It sounded like a long time, but we would have to design an entire collection, source all the fabric, make each and every garment, find models. And that wasn’t even to mention the marketing and promotion, the press releases and any promo party we could get our hands on before the show.
“It’s going to be a lot of work,” I said, looking from Thalia to Jefferson and back again, “Are you two up for it?”
“Are you kidding me? This is the biggest break I’ve ever gotten. I’m all in,” Jefferson answered, and Thalia nodded in agreement.
“I’m in two hundred percent, babe.” She grinned at me and I couldn’t help grin back, “This is going to be incredible. Exactly what I need to get over Nate. I just can’t seem to stop thinking about him. It just…hurts, you know?”
“I’m…so sorry, Thalia. I wish there was something I could do.” I told her, trying to swallow the lead weight of guilt trying to rise up from the pit of my stomach.
“There is something you can do. Tell me how I can help.”
I nodded, confusion, guilt, and anger still swirling inside me, and along with all the need, desire, and the whole pile of feelings I had for Nate, all contending inside
me for space.
It just didn’t make sense. Why did it bother me so much, what Nate had said? Why did I care? Because you do care, Poppy. You care about Nate, you just can’t be honest with yourself about how much because he was always out of reach.
I shook the thought off. He wasn’t out of reach any more. In fact, I had reached him. Several times now. No, it had to be something else, but what?
My thoughts circled, getting me no where at all, so I did what I always did when I couldn’t make sense of the world around me.
“Okay team, let’s get to work.”
10
Poppy
I stared at the drawing in front of me and felt a surge of electric excitement. It was perfect! I had been slaving over the designs for the Midsummer show all week and nothing had seemed to be working. I had a pile of crumpled sketches that had become mountainous in the corner of the studio and I was worried I was going to go through my entire sketch book before getting something decent.
I rubbed my tired eyes, and had to blink several times to make out the time on my phone. It was late. Really late. I should go home and try and get some rest but every time Thalia brought up Nate, which was more often than I had thought she would, I felt another pang and would make up some excuse to leave again.
This was becoming an untenable situation, I knew. I knew that I should just come clean with Thalia, tell her what had happened between me and Nate. But it made it even more complicated because the truth was, after that afternoon at his grandmother’s, I wasn’t sure what my feelings for him were.
Did I still want him? Hell yes. I’d been dreaming about him nonstop since, well, since the first day I met him to be honest, and this past week wasn’t any different. But I was used to being on my own, used to being independent. Used to making my own choices and not having to consider any one else’s opinions. And then suddenly, there was Nate.
Looking back, it was obvious he was just trying to look out for me, but boy had he gone about it in exactly the right way to get my back up and push all my buttons in exactly the wrong way.
Best Friend's Boyfriend (Be My Boyfriend Book 2) Page 7