My father’s jaw had clenched but he didn’t say another word as he turned and left the room, left me alone to watch my artwork burn.
I drew in a deep breath, trying to separate myself from the memory as I glanced over at Poppy. She was still talking on the phone, writing down notes as the other person spoke.
I had spent the rest of my life trying to make my parents happy, and I always seemed to fail, especially when it came to my father. He worked harder than anyone, and he expected me to do the same. He had worked himself straight into a heart attack, dying in his office.
It was years ago but it still stung to think about. I had learned to slow down since then, how to pull back and set boundaries. I glanced at Poppy, hating that I could see her working herself to death just like my father had. There were more important things in life.
And I realized something in that moment, as I stared at her. I had lived my whole life in the shadow of my parent’s expectations, but…I didn’t care. I didn’t care what my mother thought about me. I cared so much more about Poppy, making her happy, being with her. My mother’s disapproval didn’t hold a candle to seeing Poppy smile, to hearing her laugh. To kissing her.
I knew whatever I did was always disappoint the family, except for my grandmother. There was no use fighting against it. But with Poppy, for the first time in my life, I felt truly appreciated, truly wanted. It made any side eyed glance of disapproving sniff more than worth it.
I had loved spending the last few days together, it had made me happier than I had been in a very long while. But I knew that the real world was waiting and that we would have to go back. I just hoped I could help Poppy stay balanced, and that work wasn’t everything. It had taken my dad dying to learn that painful lesson. I couldn’t bear to watch Poppy go through the same thing.
I watched her face, watched the excitement and elation flit across her beautiful face and I was captured by her. I can’t believe that I waited so long to act on my feelings. I can’t believe that I wasted so much time with Thalia, thinking that it was the easiest way to keep his family’s expectations at bay, which it was, but I had been miserable. I felt freer now than I ever had with Thalia.
She danced back towards me, a massive grin splitting her face nearly in two.
“So, who was it?” I asked as casually as I could, unable to fight my own grin at seeing her so damned happy. It dimmed a little bit when she answered.
“It was Open House Magazine. They want to do a feature on me. They heard I was doing the Midsummer show and want to do a shoot with my designs and an article all about encouraging designers of plus sized fashion. Isn’t that incredible?!”
I was happy for her and nervous for her all at the same time. I knew it would add more work to her already impressive workload. She was busy preparing for the big fashion show in a few months, but I knew how important these opportunities were to her.
I plastered a smile to my face.
“Congrats, Poppy. I’m happy for you.”
She gave me a suspicious look from under a thick fringe of dark lashes.
“No, you’re not. I can see it on your face, Nate. You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’m not lying, I just…”
“You’re worried about me.” She said with a sigh. I held out my arms and she fell into them as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “You don’t have to be worried about me.”
I wrapped my arms around her, loving the feel of her tight and safe in my embrace and knowing all the while that I could never keep her there. Poppy wasn’t the type of woman that would ever be happy just getting by, or being dependent on someone else. Even thought that someone else cared about her deeply. Even thought that person was falling in love with her.
I jolted as the thought ran through my mind in shock. I loved her. I was in love with Poppy Black.
It knocked me over the head and made my heart race with joy that had me grinning up at her with a goofy expression on my face.
“What? What is it?” She asked suspiciously, and I almost opened my mouth and told her. But I couldn’t. Not yet. It all felt too fragile, like a stack of dominoes that could all topple in a heap with just one wrong move.
“Nothing, I just…” I trailed off, shaking my head, and did the only thing I could. I kissed her.
16
Poppy
I shook myself out of my stupor, staring down at the bathing suit I was packing and realized I’d been standing there, staring off into space for a solid ten minutes. Nate had me all tangled up and twisted inside out. And the worst part was, I didn’t even mind it.
He had said he had to run into town to take care of some last minute errands and then had left me to pack up my clothes and toiletries from the beach house about an hour ago, and I still hadn’t made a dent in my packing. I kept getting distracted by thoughts of him. Thoughts of Nate.
He kept creeping into my mind, always there, drawing me back to him in a way that was unavoidable. I smiled softly to myself, remembering the way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the way he made me feel like the most cherished person in the entire world. Like I was the only one that mattered to him.
No one else had ever made me feel like that. It should have made me nervous, just how much I was coming to like that feeling, to crave it like a drug. Hell, I was already so far gone on Nate that I wasn’t sure I would ever get clean of him again. And I didn’t want to. Everything about him thrilled me.
I thought about the phone call, and the expression on his too handsome face when I had told him about the magazine article. He didn’t like it. I could see the struggle as plain as if the words had been scrawled across his forehead.
He didn’t want to overwork myself, but he hadn’t said anything against it, even if it was obvious to me that he was against it. He had supported me, even though it had been hard for him. I’d seen the torturous look in his dark eyes.
Another thrill shot through me, not just about Nate, but about the phone call itself. Open House was a high end fashion magazine and to have a featured article would be huge. The fact that they wanted to feature my designs was astounding. I was ecstatic.
The shoot was also only two very short weeks away and I wanted to make sure everything was perfect. As much as I loved the last few days’ vacation, I was ready to get back to work, to get back to the craft and art that I lived and breathed for.
I was already shifting back into work mode. Dreaming up the designs that I wanted to finish, the dresses I wanted to show, the details I would change here, a different swatch of lace there. There was so much to do, and I couldn’t wait to dig in. This is what made me thrive, this passion and drive to create a work of art designed to elevate a woman with curves.
And to have the opportunity to talk about my work and how important it was to me? The idea of it had me shaking with excitement. I couldn’t wait. I rushed over to my bag and drew out my sketchbook and pencils that I had already packed, throwing it open and drawing my ideas, letting them flow down my arm, through my fingers, and onto the page.
I was so lost in my thoughts, dreaming up designs and fashion ideas for the article, that I didn’t notice that Nate had snuck into the bedroom behind me. My body flushed in warning, and I turned around to see him leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe, a small mischievous smile hovering around his face.
“What? What is it?” I asked, looking at him with suspicion. He just shrugged, shaking his head, that small smile growing into a self-deprecating grin.
“I just realized, you’re never going to slow down are you?”
It was my turn to shrug.
“I love this, Nate,” I said, waving towards the sketchbook still open on the bed, the dressing half formed on the curves of the figure. “Fashion. Designing. This is my passion. My artwork. Sure, It’s hard work but it makes me happy. I can’t just give it up.”
He walked closer into the room, drawing me into his arms and leaned against his muscular chest.
“Even if
it risks your physical health?”
I could see the worry in his eyes, the concern that ran deeper inside him than I had realized. And I hated to be the one to put that look in his dark gaze, but I couldn’t change that. I couldn’t change who I was. Not even for the man I was falling in love with.
“The way I see it, I could just as easily get hit by a car walking across the street or get stung by a bee and go into anaphylactic shock.” I shook my head, trying to get him to understand, “I don’t want to ever regret not doing what I love, not going after what makes me happy, because of what might happen. I can’t live my life that way.”
I looked up at him, pleading with him with my eyes.
“I need you to understand me, Nate. I need you to support me.”
“It’s so hard for me to stand back and watch you work yourself to death.” Nate said, his jaw clenched so tight he had to force the words out in a low growl. “I watched my dad literally work himself into an early grave, Poppy. Don’t ask me to do that for you to.”
“You won’t have to,” I reached up, cupping his cheek, feeling the steel underneath, “Because I’ll have you there to let me know when I need to take a break, to help balance me so I don’t get lost in the work. I’m not saying it won’t happen, I’m not saying there won’t be late nights of days where I won’t come out of my studio, but I promise I’ll try and listen to you at least? I can try and do that much.”
I watched the struggle flit across his frustration as he wrestled within himself.
“I know you deserve this, Poppy. You deserve every opportunity that comes your way and I know you have to pursue them.” He finally said on a deep sigh. “Okay, I’ll help you. I’ll support you. And I also promise that I’ll try not to boss you around.”
“Hah. As if you could.”
“I said try.” He said with a grin, some of the tension leaving his face.
“And I promise to try not to work all the time. In fact,” I smiled up at him, sultry fire flaming in my blue eyes, “Maybe we can delay leaving by a few minutes.”
“A few minutes, huh?” Nate’s grin grew to match mine, and was just as sinful, “I could probably work that into my schedule.”
We were both laughing as our lips met, but as soon as skin touched skin it felt like my entire body was flashed with flame and I need him so bad I hurt with desire for him. We kissed until both of had to come up for air, and Nate met my gaze with a look in his eyes that I’d never seen before, a look that knocked the rest of the little breath I had left right out of my lungs.
“I’m going to need more than a few minutes,” He rasped, his voice low and hoarse and teasing shivers up and down my spine. “A few hours. A few days. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough of you.”
His words shook through me and I couldn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was melt against him, responding with gasps and moans instead of sentences. I hoped he understood.
I put everything I felt for him into my kiss as our lips danced together. He drew me closer into his arms, and we tripped onto the bed, still fully clothed.
I was so desperate for him my hands were shaking as I reached for the hem of his shirt. We were tangled together for a long moment as we both fought to get the other naked but finally we were free of anything that separated us. There were no more obstacles in between us and I took full advantage, running my hands up and down his body, moving from his broad shoulders down his pecs and abs and lower still.
Nate let out a shuddering breath when I crawled further south, leaving a trail of kisses along the ridges of his hip bones.
“Fuck, baby,” He said on a hiss of pleasure or pain, I couldn’t quite tell, and at the moment I was too distracted to try and decipher. I reached out with the tip of my tongue, loving the way Nate’s entire body from that small contact.
I thought about teasing him longer but the need ramping up inside me was too much to ignore. I couldn’t wait any longer. I wanted to taste him. My mouth was watering at the thought.
With one last sinful grin cast up at Nate, I leaned down and wrapped my mouth around him. He was already hard, already on the edge, and at the sudden contact his hips arched off the bed and his fingers speared into my hair, pulling me closer.
I reveled in the feeling, knowing how much power I had over him. Knowing that just my touch, just my mouth, could make him come apart. The big bad alpha doctor, always in charge, always ordering other people around. Now it was his turn to let someone else be in control. And I was more than ready to take on the challenge.
“No hands.” I growled at him, and he blinked heavy eyelids, looking at me in charming confusion.
“What?”
“No hands.” I grabbed his wrists and put them on the bed since he was so wrapped up in lust that my words weren’t seeming to register. “I just want you to feel everything I’m going to do to you.”
I felt the shudder run through him and couldn’t help the small grin. God, I was going to enjoy this. And so was Nate.
I licked at him with my tongue, exploring every inch of his erection, feeling it twitch under my touch at the stimulation. When I sucked him into my mouth again, he let out a loud, low moan of pleasure or torture, I couldn’t tell which. Maybe it was a bit of both.
It wasn’t long before his hands were reaching for me again.
“Baby, I can’t take anymore. I need you.”
It was the raw honesty in his voice that broke me. And the truth was, I wanted him too. I wanted him so much my whole body was shaking with desire and there was only one person that could satisfy me.
I crawled up his body, meaning to take his time, but with every brush of skin against skin, the need inside me grew even needier until I was the one that felt wild and out of control.
“Come here, Poppy,” He rumbled, his voice low and rough and I loved that I could hear that he was just as wild and out of control as I was.
His hands gripped my hips and in one sudden move I went from kneeling on top of him to being flat on my back on the bed, Nate’s big body pressing deliciously against mine. I let out a shocked gasp of breath, but it was swallowed as Nate kissed me. It was hard and fast and desperate and exactly what I needed. He was exactly what I needed.
“Are you ready for me, baby? I don’t think I can go slow but I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice sounded as pained as the worried expression on his face.
“Nate, I’m not porcelain. I won’t break. want you. I want you now.”
I wrapped my legs around his hips and drew him closer to prove my words and we both shuddered in relief when he sank deep inside me. Then we were both moving, furious and desperate for each other, for more, for everything we could take.
He pounded into me, his hips moving like pistons, driving my sensitive nerve endings wild and driving me closer and closer to climax.
“Oh my god, Nate!” The words fell out of my mouth along with pants and moans of pleasure but I was barely aware of them, barely aware of anything except the pleasure that was starting to spread across my whole body in shivering waves.
My muscles clenched as orgasm wracked me, drawing ecstasy out of every pore until I had to squeeze my eyes shut and throw my head back. My fingers clung to Nate as the rest of the world was blown apart into a bright white light and it was a long, long time before that light faded until everything just had a faint glow left.
I grinned up at him, kissing Nate wherever I could reach him as pleasure erupted like tiny aftershocks all through my body.
“That was awesome.”
Nate stared down at me for a long moment, stretching it out so I began to wonder if something was wrong. Had I done something? Said something? But before my wayward mind could lead me too far astray, he reached his hands out, cupping my cheeks with a gentle touch.
“Poppy, I…” He paused, and all I could do was hold my breath, all other thoughts gone from my mind as I caught the look in his eyes. Deep, dark, and full of something warm and tender that mad
e my chest tighten and tears prick the corner of my own eyes.
“What is it, Nate?”
“I need to tell you something,” He shook his head, as if fighting for the right words, “I’m just going to come right out and tell you. I’m falling for you. Hard. I know it hasn’t been long.”
“It’s been over a year, Nate.” I told him, my heart racing so hard inside my ribcage that I was afraid it would burst straight out. “I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you on that stupid yacht.” I said on a tearful laugh and his husky voice joined me.
He kissed me then, not the rushed passionate desire filled kiss of before. The need was still there, swirling just beneath the surface, but it was tempered now by something stronger, something that glowed bright and golden and made my breath catch in my throat as his lips pressed against mine.
The kiss deepened even more.
“We’re going to need more than a few minutes, aren’t we?” I said after I pulled away enough to catch my breath. He grinned at me, and my heart tumbled for him all over again.
“We’re going to need a lot more.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that curled the corners of my mouth, but then he was kissing me again and it was all I could do to hold on.
17
Poppy
“Miko? Are you back there?” I called as I opened the door, the bells chiming cheerfully overhead announcing my arrival to the shop. It was a narrow space, little more than a hallway really, and every spare inch was stuffed with rolls and rolls of fabric.
Italian lace, velvet and suede. Chiffon and tulle and organza. I paused as I passed a lovely sheer mauve fabric splattered with swiss dots. It was both charming and sexy and I could already see the play as it hid and revealed in turn.
I grabbed it before walking further into the depths of the fabric emporium.
“Miko, are you back there?” I called again, and again there was no reply. It wasn’t that unusual. There was a small factory of large sewing machines and looms that were constantly running in the back room and the din could be loud enough to drown out anyone from the front.
Best Friend's Boyfriend (Be My Boyfriend Book 2) Page 12