I gave one last hiccup, drawing in a deep breath as her words calmed the emotional tidal waves inside me. The waters were still a little rocky but finally I was able to stop the stream of tears. I swiped the moisture away with the back of my hand before looking at her.
“We weren’t planning on this. On having a baby.”
She gave another cackling laugh.
“You know, Nate’s father wasn’t exactly planned either,” She said with a soft smile as she took another sip of her brandied tea, “I was madly in love with Edward, Nate’s grandfather, but we both traveled constantly. I was an artist, tied to my studio when I was home, or galleries and soirees or artist’s hovels when I was travelling. Edward was a business man, and he was also a workaholic. I loved the man, but I knew the type of man he was faults and all. He wasn’t the type to stay at home and take care of a child. That was practically unheard of in my day. And I didn’t want to give up my freedom. I thought having a child would take all the opportunities away from me, and it did in some ways,” Isabel leaned forward, her expression softening, “But having a child opened so many more opportunities for me, more than I ever realized.”
“I never knew I could love someone that much, as much as I loved my son. Even as he grew up and grew further away from him, I loved him so fiercely. There is power in that love. It’s an art all on its own.”
“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” I confessed after a moment, looking down at my arms wrapped around my middle.
“You are going to be parents. And you will love your child.” It wasn’t a question but I answered anyway.
“More than anything in the world,” I let out a laugh, “But, we haven’t told Nate’s mom yet.”
Isabel grimaced, “That, I can’t help you with. You’ll just have to do it, and may I recommend doing it quickly. Like ripping off a band aid. The sooner you do, the more painless it will be.”
“I have a feeling none of that is going to be painless. She hates me already.”
“Don’t take it personally, dear. Beatrice hates everyone.” Isabel patted me on the knee, “Don’t worry about her, she’ll come around once she holds that little baby in her arms. Just remember. You love Nate, and he loves you. That’s all you really need in the world, besides money. And Nate already has lots of that.”
I let out a snort of a laugh, shaking my head at her.
“Thank you for letting me sit here and burden you with all of my troubles.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” She grinned at me, “I’m going to be a great grandmother. That’s worth all the trouble in the world.”
I grinned back, about to say my goodbye, feeling immensely better than when I had showed up at her doorstep a sodden mess an hour before, when my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller idea. It was Thalia.
“Hey, Thalia, I’m at–.”
“Poppy, thank god! I need to talk to you right now. It’s an emergency.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes. It was always an emergency, even when it wasn’t. But this time, I could hear the urgency in her voice.
“I’m on my way home now.” I said and heard Thalia’s sigh of relief.
“Great. I’ll meet you there.”
She hung up before I could say anything else and I sent Isabel an apologetic smile.
“Duty calls. Thanks again.”
“I’ll be seeing you soon.” Isabel said, waving me towards the door as I left her opulent house, rushing back towards my apartment and whatever Thalia’s emergency was.
22
Poppy
I hailed a cab outside and got in, collapsing in the back seat, already exhausted even though it was only five o’clock and who the hell knew what I would have to deal with when I got back to my apartment.
All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide for the next, oh, I don’t know, century or so should be just about long enough for me to forget the massive amount of shame and embarrassment that still had me feeling like my skin was crawling.
For a moment, I even thought of telling the cab driver to take me to Nate’s address instead of my own. Because I knew, eventually, I was going to have to tell Thalia what happened and relive the whole terrible thing all over again. I shook my head though and gave him my address. At least at home, I could bury my head in a gallon of ice cream and a trashy Tv show and try and pretend this entire day never happened.
I was already dreaming of my sweat pants and the banana chocolate ship ice cream that was hidden in the back of the freezer just for these types of occasions as the taxi sped towards my apartment.
I was so tired that it took all of my willpower to keep my eyes open for the car ride before it finally pulled to a stop in front of the curb leading up to my place. I handed him a twenty, not even bothering to ask for change as I stepped out.
A part of me was expecting a mob of shouting angry people, telling me how badly I’d messed up and how it was all over the internet, but the sidewalk was blessedly empty as I walked up to my front door, fumbled for my key, and went inside.
I leaned against it, letting my eyes slide shut as I just tried to focus on my breath. In and out. In and out. Nothing else existed. Not my terrible day. Not whatever emergency I was about to walk into. Nothing at all.
“Poppy? Oh my god, Poppy is that you?”
Thalia’s voice shocked me back to reality, and everything cam back in a rush. Not that the embarrassment had ever really gone anywhere. I was pretty sure I’d have a permanent blush from then on.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Thank god!” Thalia’s head poked around the corner and she gave me a relieved smile, “I need your help.”
“First, I need ice cream.” I said, marching determinately to the freezer. Thalia watched wide eyed as I dug in the back until I found the gallon of chunky monkey and grabbed a fork, digging in straight from the carton.
“Is that a pregnancy thing, or what the photoshoot really that bad? Also, what the hell are you wearing?” She asked tentatively and I just shook my head, glancing down. I was still wearing the kaftan borrowed from Nate’s grandma.
“It was so much worse than bad, Thalia, but I really don’t want to talk about. Now, what’s going on? What’s the emergency?”
Her expression flipped from worried about me to flushed with anger. It should have made me mad that it only made her prettier, adding a rosy tint to her cheeks that made her eyes appear even bigger. But I had long ago come to terms with the fact that my best friend had all the physical characteristics of the perfect model, and was so much more than that. She was also generous and funny as hell, loyal and would fight tooth and nail for what she believed in.
“Juliet is trying to ruin my life.” Thalia wailed before throwing herself into the tall kitchen chair. “My parents found out that Nate and I broke up and they were not happy about that one little bit.”
I wondered for a moment how her parents had found out, but I didn’t have to wonder for long. I knew that Nate’s mother wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut. Not for long. He seemed sure that she wouldn’t say anything, but she must have let something slip.
I knew they ran in the same upper crust, elite social circles. It was only a matter of time before they must have bumped into each other.
“What happened?”
“My parents gave me the same lecture about how it was time for me to settle down and I how I had been allowed to go my own way long enough,” Thalia shot me a miserable look, “They said they were going to cut me off if I didn’t ‘pick a respectable path’ whatever the hell that means.”
I sat with a thud in the chair across the table from her and slid her the ice cream.
“That sucks, Thalia. But what does that have to do with Juliet?”
“She…she actually had the audacity to suggest an arranged marriage. Can you believe that?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t really believe it at all. I knew Juliet, Thalia’s sister. She was soft spoken and generous, if a bit boring. But I couldn’t
imagine her suggesting anything like what Thalia was saying.
“Are you sure that’s what she said?”
Before Thalia could answer there was a knock at the door and after a moment to steel myself I went and opened the door, surprised to see Jefferson standing there.
“I came over as quick as I could.” He said, rushing in past me. He stumbled to a halt when he saw Thalia but she just waved distractedly at him with the ice cream spoon before taking another big scoop.
“Poppy, what am I going to do?”
I shot Jefferson a wincing look. “Just…hold on a little bit, will you? Thalia is the middle of telling me about how her sister–.”
“Is trying to ruin my life!” Thalia finished, interrupting what I was going to say.
“Actually, you were going to tell me exactly what she actually said.”
“My parents threatened to cut me off, after they found out that Nate and I were over. And the Juliet stuck her big nose in and said she had someone perfect to set me up with. Someone awful. She said that surely mom and dad would postpone cutting me off if I went out on a blind date with this supposedly perfect person.”
“So, not marriage?” I asked after a minute and Thalia glared at me.
“It was implied.”
I shook my head but didn’t say anything. It sounded to me like Juliet had been trying to help her sister out in a sneaky, underhanded way. It was one blind date. But Thalia obviously didn’t see it that way. She had a mile wide blind spot when it came to her family, especially her sister.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Jefferson said suddenly, speaking up for her, “You can be with whoever you want. You are your own person. You’re the only one that can choose for yourself who to be with.”
Thalia looked over at Jefferson, whose cheeks suddenly flushed under her attention. Thalia smiled at him as if seeing him for the first time and hid a grin behind my hand. At least someone was having a better day than I was.
“Um, right,” Jefferson stuttered nervously, “About why, uh, why I came over.” He looked at me then, his expression serious and sympathetic, “I’m so sorry Poppy.”
“Oh no.” I dropped my head into my hands as my heart dropped into my stomach, “How bad is it?”
“It’s not…great.” He said diplomatically. Which meant it was a god damned disaster. Thalia glanced from me to Jefferson and then back again, but when it was obvious I wasn’t going to say anymore she turned back to my assistant.
“What are you two talking about? Is this about the photoshoot? Poppy you never told me what happened after I called you.”
“I still don’t want to talk about it.” I mumbled through my hands, not looking up. I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed. Also, I didn’t want to have to confess to Thalia that I had tanked our business in the span of a single photo shoot.
“It couldn’t have been that bad.” Thalia said, scoffing, her own troubles already forgotten as Jefferson held out his phone to her. She gasped, followed by silence. It was the silence that really terrified me. Thalia didn’t do silence.
“What is it?” I whispered, not really sure I wanted an answer, “Do I even want to see?”
Thalia and Jefferson both shook their heads. But I needed to know.
“Okay, just tell me. What is it, did they pull the article? They aren’t even going to print it now?”
“Uh, no.” Jefferson said, then drew in a deep breath as if he was about to walk out onto the chopping block. “Grant Davis apparently got a hold of a photo from the shoot.”
I stared at him blankly. “Grant…Davis? The most awful man in the world Grant Davis? How? He wasn’t even there.”
“He must have had someone sneak in. I’m so sorry, Poppy.”
“Let me see.”
“You really don’t need to,” Thalia said quickly, holding the phone close to her chest.
“No, I really think I do need to. Show it to me.”
“No.”
“Thalia. Give me the phone right now. I deserve to know what that prick is saying about me.”
“He’s just a jealous, petty asshole, Poppy. Remember that, okay?” She waited until I nodded in impatient agreement before handing over Jefferson’s phone. Grant Davis’ twitter account was pulled up and I nearly threw the damned thing across the kitchen.
“That….that….utter asshole!” I stared at the unflattering photo of me. It was just after I’d ralphed all over Imelda’s designer heels and she was glaring at me. I was looking decidedly green, one hand over my mouth and the other outstretched for any help. I knew help wasn’t coming.
“At least he didn’t get a picture of me in the pond.” I muttered and Thalia choked on the bit of ice cream she’d just shoved into her mouth.
“What? What the hell happened at that photo shoot?” Thalia asked, staring at me wide eyed, but Jefferson looked decidedly uncomfortable.
“What? What is it? Just tell me. Believe me it can’t get any worse.”
“He doesn’t have a picture.” Jefferson said after a minute, “He has a video. Scroll down.”
Dread filled me as I scrolled down Grant Davis’ feed and saw the clip. It was only five seconds. Who could imagine that five seconds could even do so much damage? I watched the clip of me falling ungracefully into the shallow pond. It played on repeat, over and over and over and I couldn’t look away.
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
Thalia grabbed the phone from my hand. “That’s more than enough of that. It’s not really that bad, Poppy. I’m sure it’s not really…” She trailed off as she watched the video, not finishing her sentence. Instead, she clicked the phone off and tossed it back to Jefferson.
“Okay, I officially hate everyone,” Thalia said furiously. She looked at me for a long moment, then at Jefferson. “We need to do something.”
“What can we do? It’s already out there and has several thousand views.” I had to swallow past the lump of nauseous to be able to talk and it still wasn’t easy to force out the views, “I’m a complete laughing stock. I’m a joke.”
“No, you’re not.” Jefferson said imploringly.
“It will all blow over, Poppy. Don’t let yourself be too upset by it,” Thalia grabbed my hand and stood, “But that’s not what I meant, about doing something. I meant we need to do something right now, to distract ourselves and drown our sorrows.” She grinned fiercely at me, “We’re going out.”
“No. Oh, no.” I started, already shaking my head but Thalia wouldn’t let me go on.
“We are going out. All of us. Jefferson and I are going to have a few drinks and you are going to dance your troubles away and we are all going to have a good time, got it?”
Jefferson and I shared a long look before he finally shrugged and I knew I lost my only other ally.
“Maybe it’ll be fun?” Jefferson said with a shrug and I glared at him.
“It’s not going to be fun. I don’t want to go out. I want to bury my head under my blanket and sleep until all of this is gone and forgotten about.”
“You can’t hide, Poppy. All you can do is keep living your life,” Thalia looked at me before driving home the nail in the coffin, the one thing that I couldn’t refute, “Otherwise, you let Grant Davis win.”
Hell would freeze before I let that happen. With a resigned sigh I nodded.
“Alright, where are we going?”
23
Poppy
I stared out at the dance floor, resolutely glued to the stool pulled up in front of the tall table.
“Just look at them.” I muttered angrily. Out there, dancing with each other, without a care in the world.
“Poppy.” Thalia shot me a warning growl before giggling into her manhattan. “Seriously, you need to lighten up. It’s just one bad day. It sucks, but it’s over now, right?”
“No, not right. Today will live forever thanks to social media.” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. I was miserable, and the pounding mus
ic coming from the speakers wasn’t helping my foul mood.
“I just…I can’t believe you threw up on Imelda’s shoes.” Thalia said after a minute, shaking her head before dissolving into another fit of giggles. She was a very happy drunk. “I’m sorry, Poppy. I shouldn’t laugh.”
“Go ahead. Laugh away. Everyone else is. And besides, that’s what I am now. A big, fat joke.”
“Poppy,” She whined, drawing out my name, “You have to stop saying that. You’ll get through this. I know you will.”
“I know I will too. It just…I just need to mope for a little bit, okay? I just need to feel bad for a day or two and then I’ll come back fighting. Just right now, it’s all a little too fresh, you know?” I was pretty sure I could still smell the koi pond water clinging to me, even if it was just a trick of my mind.
“I just worked so hard, you know? I worked so hard, and this is what everyone will be talking about. Not the dress. Not the design. Not what I stand for. Just this stupid fiasco of a situation.”
“You’ll get your message out there, Poppy. I believe in you. I’ll always believe in you.” She nodded at my glass of seltzer and lime, holding up her cocktail glass. “Come on Poppy.”
She waited until I rolled my eyes and finally lifted my own glass. She clinked them together and shot me a wobblily grin.
“To Poppy Black, the most amazing, fierce, innovative, and creative designer in the world.”
I snorted out a laugh but dutifully took a sip along with Thalia.
“Thank you.” I told her, feeling nominally better. Not as good as Thalia, but it would take several cocktails to reach that blissful state and I wouldn’t be tasting a cocktail for several more months, and then more after that while I was breastfeeding.
I glanced down, rubbing my hand over my belly. “I’m scared to be a mother, Thalia. What if I’m just an embarrassment? What would my baby think of me?”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Thalia said over the rim of her drink, “You are going to be an amazing mother, you know that?” She paused, her eyes looking slightly glassy from the cocktail. “Maybe you should talk to your baby daddy about it?”
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