Thalia looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to tell her who the father of my child was, but something still held my tongue. I just shrugged, and after a minute she leaned over the table and gave me a big hug.
“Don’t worry so much, Poppy. It will all work out for the best, I know it. Don’t worry.”
I thought about telling her then and there that it was Nate. That he was the father of my baby. I opened my mouth to come clean but before I could get any of the words out that I needed to say to her, Jefferson was back with another round of drinks.
I looked at him appreciatively as I took my cold seltzer water with lime and Thalia grabbed her new cocktail with a squeal.
“Perfect timing, Jay!” She winked at him and he flushed bright red under her teasing. I just shook my head. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to get stuck like that, in a state of a perpetual blush.
I watched the way he tried to look at her without her noticing, and then watched the blush steal even further up his cheeks. I shook my head, feeling a pang in the vicinity of my heart. God, I wished Nate was there. All I wanted to do was curl up in the safety of his arms and pretend that this entire day hadn’t ever happened.
“I wish Nate was here.” Thalia said suddenly, making me jump in my stool and turn to her wide eyed and wondering if she could somehow read my thoughts.
“Oh?” I said dumbly. The only thing I could think of. “Why’s that?’
“I miss him,” Thalia said, slurring slightly as she took another long drink from the cocktail that Jefferson had just brought her. “I’m as surprised as you are, believe me. I always just thought he was a boring old stick in the mud. Useful for keeping my parents off my back, but boring as hell. He’s a four door sedan, and I’m a…a Ferrari.” She swept her hands down her scantily clad body.
I felt my own cheeks start to turn pink with heat, not from embarrassment, but from anger.
“He’s not boring.” I muttered, and Thalia nodded in emphatic agreement.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I bit my tongue. I knew that the only reason Thalia missed Nate was because now her parents were putting their foot down and threatening to cut her off from the family’s money. I cringed at the unkind thought and sighed, reigning in my anger and reaching across the table to pat Thalia’s hand.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone new. Someone better for you than Nate ever was.”
“You’re right!” Thalia exclaimed, her gaze narrowing like a predator spotting their prey on the handsome blonde that just walked past their tabled.
“Nate and I were never meant to be. I know that,” Thalia grinned, grapping her cocktail in one hand and using the other to steady herself as she slid off of the barstool, “Let’s just see if Mr. right might be here tonight, shall we?”
Thalia sauntered off after the man that looked like he had just stepped out of the pages of a GQ magazine. Jefferson tracked her with his gaze, letting gout a sigh as she leaned against the bar, flirting shamelessly with the other man.
“Why don’t you just tell her?” I asked the question softly as I took another sip of the icy, carbonated drink.
Jefferson jumped guiltily at my words, but there was no hiding his feelings for Thalia, or the longing in his eyes when he looked at her when she wasn’t looking. Which was more often than not.
“I…can’t.” He finally said, taking a slug of his beer. “She’s never even looked at me before. It’s like she doesn’t even knows I exist.”
I could hear the anguish in his voice and realized then just how serious his feelings were for her. But I didn’t deny what he was saying. I knew it was true just as much as he did.
“Then make her see you.” I said, encouraging him. “Do something romantic. Bring her flowers. Ask her out. Be bold.”
“Be bold.” Jefferson snorted, “Not exactly my strong suit.” He looked sadly into his beer and I could see he really was lovesick over Thalia. “Besides, she would never give a guy like me a chance. Even though I would treat her better than any of the other dumb assholes that she dates.”
I felt myself bristle at his words but didn’t say anything. The father of my baby used to be one of those dumb assholes.
“I would protect her from getting hurt again. I would protect her from her family. I would do anything for her. Anything!”
I was taken aback by the vehemence of his tone, the fire burning in his eyes that showed me he was even more obsessed with Thalia than I thought.
“I would never have treated her the way Nate did. As if he could ever do better than Thalia. He never deserved her. He’s just a washed up wannabe who never understood her. He deserved to be hurt just as badly as she was. Anyone who hurts Thalia deserves exactly what they have coming to them.”
I stared at Jefferson for a long moment, thinking that the beer had loosened him up much more than normal.
“Hey, maybe…maybe you don’t know the whole story with Nate. Maybe he did the right thing, breaking things off. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together.”
“Damn right.” Jefferson snorted before slamming the rest of his beer, “Because she and I are meant to be together, I know it. I just…don’t know how to talk to her. Whenever I’m in the same room with her I get all tongue tied and I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell her the truth, Jefferson. Tell her how you feel. She might surprise you.”
He rolled his eyes at me, and I knew the expression was well deserved. I took another sip, suddenly grateful that I hadn’t come out and told them that Nate was the father of my baby. Who knows what they would have said? What the fallout would be? Thalia was already on edge with everything that was going on with her family and Jefferson, well, it was obvious he was going through some turmoil of his own and harbored no kind feelings about Nate.
“So, the little guy,” Jefferson said suddenly, nodding towards my middle, “Have you thought about what you’re going to do after he’s born?”
“It could be a little girl. I don’t know yet.” I said, smiling slightly at the thought of my child. I knew it had only been a few weeks but I was already head over heels in love with the tyke. I found myself daydreaming at odd moment of holding a little baby in my arms, rocking them to sleep, hearing their first words.
Slowly the rest of Jefferson’s question registered and I looked across the high table at him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you going to take time off? I was just wondering what it will mean for the company.”
“Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. Everything has happened so fast…” I trailed off, my stomach suddenly churning but I pushed away any doubts with an iron will hones over years of being a plus sized model in an industry that worshiped size two.
“I’ll figure it out. We’ll make it work. We always do.” I grinned across the table at him, “Remember that week in the bayou? We made it through that unscathed.”
“Unscathed?” Jefferson said on a laugh, “You weren’t the one being chased by the alligator.”
We both chuckled, trailing off as I tried not to think about Jefferson’s question, about the answers that I didn’t have.
“Thankfully, we still have a few months to figure it out.” I finally said and Jefferson nodded, but he was once more making puppy dog eyes in Thalia’s direction. Exhausted settled over me, the stress of the day seeming to batter all at once and the only thing I wanted was to get out of there.
My phone buzzed in my purse and I dug it out. It was too loud in the bar for me to hear anything, let alone a ringtone, so I had set it to vibrate. It was a text from Nate.
I miss you. Need to see you. I just got off my last shift for the night. Sorry it’s so late. Do you want to come over?
An electric thrill shot through me. He missed me. He wanted to see me. And damn it, I wanted to see him. I wanted to fall into his arms and tell him to make me forget all about this stupid day and the stupid photoshoot.
“
I, uh, I’m really tired,” I told Jefferson, sliding from the barstool, “I think I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you at the studio, okay?”
He nodded, still too wrapped up in Thali to even notice me leaving and I shook my head ruefully at him. Poor guy. I knew exactly how awful it was to have to watch the person you cared about be with someone else. How painful it could be.
I made my way through the crowd of people, finally able to push my way past a hulk of a man to get to Thalia, who was still busy flirting at the bar.
“Hey, Thalia, I…”
“Who’s your friend?” It was the hulk I’d just shoved past, the one Thalia had been flirting with and was now grinning at me lasciviously in a way that made my skin shudder in revulsion. “She’s pretty.” He reached out to run a hand through my hair and I ducked out of reach, slapping his hand away.
“If you want to keep that, I wouldn’t try that again.” I growled at him before turning towards Thalia. “Thalia, I’m…”
“Hey now, just wait a minute. No need to be upset. There’s plenty of me for the both of you,” He leaned forward, “My apartment is just five minutes away. What do you two say we go back to my place and turn this into a little menage, eh?”
I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly knocked myself out, but before I could say anything Thalia took a step towards him, poking him hard in the chest.
“There is no way in hell either of us are sleeping with you. My guess is the only company your going to have tonight is with your hand.” She smirked at him, “Hope you enjoy yourself, douche bag.”
The hulk just shrugged and walked away after shooting both of us a glare and I turned back to Thalia.
“What an asshole.”
“They’re all assholes, Poppy. Maybe I’m just not meant to find the man for me.” Thalia cried and I patted her on the shoulder.
“Maybe you just aren’t looking in the right place.” I said, glancing purposefully at our table where Jefferson was drowning his own heartache in another beer. “Maybe you should give someone you already know and like a shot.”
“Who?” She asked wide eyed and I nodded more emphatically towards the table. Thalia’s eyes widened even more, “Jay?”
“He’s crazy about you, Thalia.”
“Really? He always seemed so…aloof.”
“I’m serious. Maybe you should give him a chance. At the very least stay with him until muscle man over there leaves.”
She nodded, not saying anything and I could already see the wheels turning in her mind.
“I’m going, I’m exhausted,” I told her, making my way to the exit. “Give Jefferson a chance.” I called at her, but she didn’t hear me. She was already sauntering up to the table, leaning one hip against the school, her sultry gaze meeting Jefferson’s surprised one. Silently, I wished them both the best of luck as I snuck through the front door and hailed one of the cabs waiting out front.
24
Nate
I was exhausted. It had been the longest day, three back to back shifts and there had been a five car pileup on the expressway involving a semi-truck. It hadn’t been a good day. No matter how hard I tried, how fast I’d worked, not everybody had made it out off of my surgery table alive.
These types of days were the hardest. When no matter what I did I still couldn’t save them all. I felt the weight of every one like a hundred pounds piled on top of me and on a day like today, it threatened to crush me.
I checked my phone again, sighing at the late hour. I knew it was too late to text Poppy again but that hadn’t stopped me the first time. She was probably already asleep. Any one else would have passed into dream land long ago, even though the neon city lights still flashed outside my window. Those never slept.
I thought about texting her again, but I didn’t want to bother her. She needed her rest, our baby needed rest.
The thought sent a shock wave of tumultuous emotion roiling through me. Our baby. It still sounded so foreign to me, even in my thoughts. It was still hard to believe that it was real. Our baby. Me and Poppy, together. Our child.
I shook my head, but it didn’t do anything to stop the images from filling my mind of a little girl or boy with Poppy’s dark blue eyes, giggling up at me, calling me daddy. I shut my eyes as the wave of emotion overwhelmed me.
My whole life, the only thing I’d ever wanted was a family where I belonged, a family that I could love and be loved by. And I already loved this little baby. I’d told Poppy that I’d always wanted a big family, but secretly I’d wondered if I would ever find a woman I would want to have that family with. And then she’d fell into my life.
I couldn’t help but wonder, what if I had met Poppy before Thalia, what if I had followed my instinct that day at the yacht and broken things off with Thalia before asking Poppy out instead. A whole extra year that I could have spent getting to know her, marveling her audaciousness, laughing with her, falling in love with her.
Would things have been different? Would I be different? Because I knew without a doubt, even over these last few months, that she had changed something deep inside me. I knew now, what it felt like to care, really care, about someone else. To put them above my own needs. I didn’t care about what my mother thought, about what my family thought. The only thing I cared about was Poppy, and the life that was currently growing inside her.
I swiped my hands over tired eyes but my body was moving past the point of exhaustion, my mind was wired, my thoughts swirling as I walked over the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer hoping that would help settle me down.
I opened it, took a single sip, and left it mostly full on the edge of the counter. That wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted Poppy. I wanted to hold her in my arms, to feel her heart beat slow and gentle and rhythmic against my chest. I wanted to breathe in the scent of her, spicy and sweet and one hundred percent woman.
The sound of the doorbell chiming through my penthouse made me jump, pulling me from my fantasies. My brows furrowed, I walked down the hall towards the front door, wondering who the hell it could be at that hour.
But as soon as I peeked through the glass and saw the top of Poppy’s dark head, my heart started to pound. It was as if I had conjured her by magic. Some spell cast that my thoughts had brought her here to me exactly when I needed her the most.
As soon as I opened the door she was in my arms. I wrapped her up, pulling her close against my body and we just hung there like that, suspended in time, neither of us moving, neither of us speaking.
My hands trailed across her body, I couldn’t stop them. I needed to touch her, to feel her her. To know that she was really there. To know that she was safe and in my arms and that the world was right side up once more.
I don’t know how it happened, how she became more important to me than breath, than the air in my lungs, than my own heartbeat. My whole universe revolved around her now. She was my sun. My true north.
I tilted her face up towards mine, staring into her eyes, getting lost in their depths. I could stay like that forever, with Poppy in my arms. But I needed more.
Her eyes shuttered closed, but not before I saw the flame of desire that burned along with my own lighting up her gaze. Our lips met and fireworks exploded behind my eyelids. This was what I needed. I only needed her.
* * *
Poppy
I gasped against his mouth, drawing in desperately needed oxygen but I didn’t break off the kiss. I didn’t realize until the moment Nate had pulled me into his arms just how much I’d needed him, needed to feel him wrap me up tight like a present, something precious and cherished.
We barely made it inside Nate’s place before we were stripping each other’s clothes off. Desire was thick in the air, making it hard to breathe, making each inhale intoxicating. I felt wild and out of control, shaking with lust as I tore his shirt over his head and threw it carelessly behind me.
Nate’s hands gripped my now bare hips as he pressed me against the wall of the hallway. I was naked, eve
n though I didn’t remember getting that way. All of my attention was focused on him, on the way his touch made me burn up from the inside out and how his kiss made my knees go week and moisture pool in between my shaking thighs.
“Nate, take me. Now. I want you right now.”
“Whatever you want, Poppy. I’m yours.” His gruff words whispered against the sensitive curve of my neck had another wave of shivers tripping down my body and then all the way back up again until it settled like a vibration at my dripping center.
His fingers ran down my body, flowing with even more shudders of anticipation, dipping into my wetness and humming in appreciation. My hips moved on their own, my body demanding more as is he slid one digit inside me, and then another.
My head fell back as I rode his hand, every movement of his fingers adding to the well of ecstasy filling me to the brim inside. But it still wasn’t enough. There was a deeper need, railing through me, a need that only he could satisfy.
My own fingers speared through his hair, pulling his head close for another soul searing kiss that tore through us both like a storm, leaving me breathless and disheveled.
“I can’t wait for the bedroom, Nate.” I whispered the words against his lips before taking a teasing bite of his lower lip. His groan let me know that he was feeling just as wild and just as out of control as I was.
With a curse, Nate claimed my lips again, at the same time lifting my thighs, bracing me against the wall, and sliding his thick cock deep inside me all in one motion.
My eyes wanted to slide shut against the pleasure that raged through me but I couldn’t take my gaze off of him. His eyes were on fire, his jaw tight, his expression tense and focused only on me as if I was the only person that existed in the whole world. Our universe was right here, and I was perfectly content with that.
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