Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  Her voice, which had risen nearly to a screech, fell to an almost defeated whisper as she finished. She felt as if she should have no more tears to cry, but they still slid down. The silence in the room was absolute.

  ―

  The quiet was broken by a sudden rustling by the door: Byron. He’d tried to slip away once he saw how things were going. However, with Jessica by the door, it only took a few moments for him to be secured. He was soon held between two of the other guards. While that took place, Galdren turned to face his father. He thought he caught a troubled look on his father’s face, but it passed quickly, and then he was facing his father’s usual practical self.

  “Father, it seems I have wasted your time here today. The only thing clouded here has been my judgment, and I must apologize, both to you and to Avila. There are still issues to address, though, and since Byron is one of your guards, I must ask how you would like me to proceed?” Galdren couldn’t bring himself to look at Avila yet. He could only imagine how she must be feeling, and would not be shocked if she hated him. However, he did note that after Byron was secured, Jessica had walked over to talk to her quietly.

  “Galdren, I have given you a great responsibility, one I think you are capable of handling. Part of any growth is admitting mistakes and learning. Move forward. Take accountability for all that has happened and deal with it as you think is best. I will stand behind your judgments. I have faith in your abilities.” When the king stopped talking, he stepped out from behind the desk and walked toward the exit, followed by the guards that had been in the room with him. Galdren gave him a nod as he passed. Everyone else bowed as he exited the room.

  14. Resolution

  Once the king was gone, silence reigned for a short time. Galdren knew he would have to face Avila, along with what he had allowed to happen and his own actions after. Everything was a jumbled mess in his thoughts where she was concerned, and he knew it was not an appropriate mindset to be making decisions in. He knew he couldn’t ignore her or ignore what happened, but he needed to sort some things out first.

  Dealing with Byron was another matter entirely. When Galdren turned to face the man, he had to fight not to let the rage that suddenly reddened his vision show on his face. There had been rumors regarding Avila’s presence for some time now, but from what she had said only moments ago, Galdren could guess what Byron had taken those rumors to mean. He knew he would need to find a suitable punishment even if his first impulse was something more direct and violent. First, he needed Avila taken care of, at least until he could see to her himself.

  “Jessica, can you please take Avila back to my apartments and stay there with her until you hear otherwise? If you had other duties later today, I will see to it that arrangements can be made. Baxter, I would like you to accompany them and stay there as well. On the way, would one of you please make arrangements to have Dr. Ortiz meet you there?” He didn’t look at Avila as he gave his orders to have her taken care of. He was afraid he might do something foolish if he saw the look of anguish she had in her eyes again.

  She glanced back once before she left, but he made sure their eyes did not meet. Given the circumstances, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the other two guards left in the room besides Randy, but when he faced them, each gave him a salute with faces set in stone. Galdren could see from their expressions that he was not the only one upset by the way things had unfolded. They had all been there to protect both people, not just one.

  Satisfied that there would be no trouble from the two men holding Byron, he finally faced the offending man directly. His first thought was one of satisfaction that Avila had managed to do some damage before she escaped, quickly followed by a sudden urge to smash him in the face again anyway. He stifled the thought. No matter how fleetingly gratifying it might be, he needed the whole story before he could figure out what needed to be done, and the man needed to be able to talk.

  “Byron, I need you to tell me exactly what happened, and please keep in mind that I will be checking with someone else as well, so mind that you get the details correct, please.” Galdren’s words were formal but ice-cold. He didn’t even bother trying to hide the disdain he was feeling.

  The fear was evident in Byron now. Whatever he had been thinking would be the outcome of his actions that day, he evidently had not been expecting this. He had to swallow twice before he could talk. “Your Highness, I have to say up front that I never meant any harm. I swear it looked like she was flirting with me, and with all the talk about her, well, you know, I thought she was asking for it. She didn’t even fight me at first. She didn’t do anything until I mentioned that she was a kept woman, and then she got all offended and did this to my face. I’m the one that was assaulted here.” When Byron finally took a breath and looked at Galdren, the storm brewing on the prince’s face stopped his rant before it truly got started.

  “That ‘kept woman,’ as you called her, is a highly educated, well-respected member of our society who has done more for animal rights and the people of this planet than most people many times her age. I wasn’t asking you what you thought about her or what you thought she wanted. I told you I wanted the details of what happened, so if you please, let’s try that again. This time I only want the facts.” Despite his best efforts, Galdren’s voice almost slipped from his control, and at the rise in volume, Byron paled considerably. In a calmer voice, he added, “From when Jessica left will be fine.”

  Byron looked as if he wanted to be sick right there, but it didn’t take long for him to start talking again. “I’m—I’m sorry, Your Highness. Just the facts—right. When Jessica left, Avila walked around a bit and then went over to the water. After a few minutes, she bent over, and I thought, well, I guess it don’t matter what I thought, but I went and grabbed her. She was surprised, but she didn’t scream or nothing. We just talked for a few minutes. She didn’t fight at first, just kinda pushed me away. I thought she was playing coy. She was asking me questions too. I told her about how I knew about her already and her kind, you know, the ones at Nerada. Anyway, that was about the time she started freaking out. She was fine one minute and then, bam, kicking me and busting my nose the next. She knocked me dizzy, and by the time I cleared my head, she was gone, and I had no idea where she went. I went to try and clean my face up, and then I was gonna go see if I could find her trail, but Jessica showed back up by then, and well, you know the rest.”

  Although Byron was looking down and the fear was still plain in the way he spoke, by his own words, he did not seem to think he had done anything wrong. Galdren had to turn away from the man so he could think clearly. He was afraid if he stood there watching the lack of remorse for much longer, he might knock the man flat. It would be immensely satisfying in the moment, but not the justice the man deserved.

  The four men stood and watched the prince in silence for several minutes as he deliberated. Finally, he turned back to face them. “The fact that you did not commit an even more grievous crime was due only to Avila fighting back. Had she not been so lucky in her strike against you, how much farther would you have gone before you realized just how wrong you were? You say she wasn’t really fighting, but that means she was fighting some. That tells me you are trying to justify what you were doing by playing her as the courtesan in your head, but she is an innocent. Any hesitation could only have been shock, not coyness as you thought. So now, do I judge the intent as if it were the deed, as it could have been had you not been stopped?” Galdren paused and glared at the man. “Unfortunately, it is not in our laws to judge intent, so I must judge your actions alone. However, you did assault her, and I do have something in mind.”

  Galdren walked until he was right in front of Byron. He made sure the man was looking him straight in the eye as he delivered the sentence. “Are you aware that when someone who is under the Life Debt runs away from their debtor, they are subject to flogging?” There was a collective gasp from three of the four
men in the room as sudden understanding came to them. The situation became much clearer to everyone, and Byron’s eyes grew round.

  Galdren continued as if he hadn’t heard a thing, “The severity of the flogging depends on the circumstances. Your actions today almost caused an innocent girl to face just this consequence. Given your lack of judgment, your actions, and your apparent lack of remorse, I think it would be fitting that you take her place at the pole. I also do not think a guard is a suitable position for someone who cannot take the people they are set to protect with any amount of seriousness. Once the first part of your sentence has been carried out, you can collect your things, and you will leave the castle. Your services will no longer be required here.” Galdren held the man’s gaze for a few seconds longer to make sure that everything sank in. He thought he saw a spark of something close to anger, but it was soon swallowed by despair.

  “You can’t dismiss me; I work for the king.” Byron’s words were somewhere between a plea and a threat, but either way, they were completely ignored.

  “Lee, Jacob, please escort Byron to the holding cells until arrangements can be made.” After Galdren handed down the sentence, he turned away from the man as if he no longer existed. All his pleas fell on deaf ears, and he soon disappeared out the door with the other two guards.

  Now that it was over, Galdren could feel the anxiety for Avila coming back worse than ever, especially now that he had a better idea of what happened. He wondered exactly what Byron had said about the spaceport. He had a bad feeling that this was only the beginning of a rough time. He needed to find out how she was, even if she was still mad at him. “Randy, we need to get back to the apartment, quickly.”

  ―

  Dr. Ortiz had just left, and Avila felt exhausted. She was completely drained after everything that had happened earlier in the day. Jessica had been accommodating and, for most of the evening, had never left her side, not even when the doctor was there. Still, Avila finally convinced her that she wanted to sleep. At the moment, Jessica and Baxter were both in her sitting room. She could just barely make out the murmur of their voices. It didn’t matter, though. As strung out as her nerves were, she was still ready to pass out. Not even the fear of nightmares was able to keep her awake. It did not take long until everything faded, and she drifted off.

  ―

  When they first arrived in the city, the crowds had made her nervous. Around every corner, she expected to see another soldier calling out an alert for her or just aiming a gun at her. Although she did see plenty of soldiers, none of them seemed to notice her from the press of the people around her. They seemed to have their hands full just keeping riots from breaking out in the streets.

  To her dismay, her head wound made her blend in more than it made her stick out. The number of wounded people in the streets seemed to increase every day as the toll of the civil war continued to grow. The graceful coup the Trogand had hoped for with the death of the royal family was disintegrating. The people did not accept the merchant group as viable leaders, and fighting was prevalent everywhere.

  While she still did not remember much, she could piece together enough to understand what Mikael was teaching her every day. She understood her place, and had come to accept her responsibilities. It was odd to know herself from the outside like that. She felt as though she was a stranger to herself most days, but there was never any time to ponder the feeling. She had too many other worries; just staying alive was at the top of the list.

  The anonymity the city provided was unexpected but welcome after her experience in the woods, and it gave her a chance to heal. She was getting stronger every day, even if she wasn’t getting her memory back. It helped with her focus. She no longer passed out regularly, so she could walk in the streets with Mikael while they searched for the contacts they needed.

  He had hoped to be in the city for only a week, maybe a few days more, but the fighting was only getting worse, and the number of refugees flooding the city grew every day. It was getting harder to navigate the crowded streets even on foot, and getting anywhere on foot fast was impossible in a metropolis the size of Chruinne. It wasn’t as large as the capital city of Ithir, but it was still one of the largest on the planet. It was a good thing Mikael had so many contacts and knew how to carry provisions through a crowd of people that were only looking out for themselves.

  They were into their fourth week in the city, and Avila knew that if it hadn’t been for Mikael, there was no way she would have made it. Her complete lack of knowledge regarding how to live life in the shadows of the streets was an even more significant danger to her than the occasional dizzy spell she still experienced from the wound in her head.

  Mikael had gone out earlier to meet another contact to try yet again to schedule them a flight off-planet. Things in the city had been worse than expected when they arrived. With the constant influx of refugees, the Trogand forces were constantly on the lookout for royal sympathizers. It didn’t take much at all for them to make an example of anyone who thought to speak out. Everyone coming to the city as a place of refuge from the fighting outside quickly found that it wasn’t much safer there.

  Avila’s only safety was that, although the Trogand forces did look for her in the crowds, they didn’t honestly believe her to be there. If they did start a full-scale hunt for her in the city, they would leave no shadow unsearched, but she hoped to be long gone by then. She only prayed to the goddess that her people would not suffer too much for her absence.

  She had ventured outside earlier that day to take a short walk around, sticking to the shadows as much as possible. Although she did not like being alone outside, the need to stretch her muscles and get out, to see her people and feel like she could breathe a little again, was more than sufficient motivation to get her out on her own. It was an excellent way to keep from going mad while Mikael secured their escape.

  The crowds in the streets were even larger than they were the last time she had been out; something she had expected but still did not like to see. However, they seemed a little less fiery, and if any eyes were not downturned, they were either filled with fear or utterly empty. The pain of seeing her people in such a state weighed heavily on her, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it yet. The task of staying alive against an entire army bent on killing her was almost more than enough to make her want to give up at times.

  Shouts and a shrill scream pulled her out of her wayward thoughts. “There she is! I’ve spotted the princess, right over there, with the bandage on her head!” Those words froze Avila on the spot; she wanted to run, but she couldn’t make her feet move.

  A spot in the middle of the street, about a hundred feet away from her, suddenly cleared. A small group of soldiers had a girl by the arm. There was a middle-aged woman with them sobbing so hard her words were almost incoherent. “My daughter, please, please—my daughter.”

  The woman was desperately trying to reach the girl the soldiers now had pinned between them. One of them brutally knocked the woman down, and her sobs ceased immediately. It did not take long for Avila to understand what was going on. Despite both the woman’s desperate pleas and the girl’s sincere denials, the soldiers were convinced the girl was the missing princess.

  The young girl looked similar to Avila, and she was close in age. Avila found that her feet were moving toward the commotion, not away from it, but she had not even taken more than a few steps through the dense crowd before the guards held the girl up for everyone to see. The patrol lead spoke loud enough for everyone within visual distance to hear; no one else talked or moved on what should have been a busy street. “We have orders to shoot any known rebel on sight. If we find the leader of the rebels, we are to bring her body to our president as proof, so we can end this useless rebellion. We are going to show you here and now that we are dedicated to just that!”

  Avila realized that in this quiet, stationary crowd, her frantic forw
ard motion was starting to draw attention, but she didn’t care. She had to do something. Then a single shot rang out. Several women screamed, and a few even fainted. Crying erupted all over, from women and men alike.

  Avila quit her struggling; it was useless. She didn’t need to see the girl’s lifeless body to know that one more life was given instead of her own that day. This time it was an innocent, one that didn’t have a choice. The fires of righteous retribution that had been slowly drowning in despair over the last four weeks suddenly flared anew. She knew now that no matter what, she would make it through every ordeal. It was her responsibility to make sure the Trogand paid for every life they took and every wrong they committed against her people.

  With a renewed vow, she made her way back to the shadows to find Mikael. They needed to get off the planet to rebuild before returning and doing what needed to be done.

  15. Distraction

  Avila woke up feeling better than she had when she went to sleep. She could feel the tears on her face from her dream, but in addition to the profound sadness, she also felt hope. She wasn’t sure why, but something about her dream spoke to her of resolution and the ability to face the future, no matter how grim. At that moment, it was exactly what she needed. She couldn’t figure out her dreams, especially since they were rarely ever clear and she’d only started having them after her accident. Still, no matter what they were, she was getting used to them.

  She was fully awake, but it was still dark outside, so it had to be early. However, Avila didn’t feel like going back to sleep. Even though she wasn’t as rattled as she had been, the events from the previous day and Galdren’s reactions to everything were starting to creep back over her feelings of hope. The thing that bothered her most was that he had never even looked at her, even after discovering the truth. He believed her and had taken care of it from what she had been told, but she couldn’t help but feel abandoned. His reaction had hurt more than she liked to admit. She might not have any right to feel the way she did, but even if all they shared was a friendship, she thought he would trust her not to run away.