Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  “I understand, Professor. I will do my best to focus during the time you are here. You deserve my undivided attention, at the very least, for taking the time to help me.” She wasn’t able to look at him while she spoke.

  He put his hand on her shoulder in a fatherly gesture. She finally looked up at him, and he smiled. “I understand the stress you are under. I know that this is taking a toll on you, and I don’t expect you to not be affected, but you can’t wallow in it either. Numerous opportunities are waiting just outside this door for you to walk out and discover them. All you have to do is find the courage and the willpower to do so.”

  She still wasn’t convinced that she wanted anything to do with any of those opportunities, but she knew she also wasn’t ready to give up either. She gave him a real smile as reassurance that she understood. “Thank you. I promise that I won’t give up.”

  With a small squeeze of her shoulder, he let her go and turned to gather his things. “I will see you at the regular time tomorrow morning.”

  After his departure, Avila sat in silence for several minutes, trying to wrap her head around the last few days. Her already tumultuous life had taken on so many changes; it was hard to take it all in stride.

  After sitting there for several moments, she came to a sudden decision. It was a couple of hours until dinner, and there was no point in sitting there stewing over things. If she was going to get used to her life in the castle, then there was no time like the present to get started.

  Timidly, she opened her door, and two heads turned in her direction. Both faces were unfamiliar to her. The shift must have changed, and Lee and Jacob must be gone for the day. “Hello, um, I was wondering if it would be all right if I could go for a walk in the gardens? I know Galdren said—well—would one of you please come with me?” That was a lot more awkward than she had planned, but she was committed now. There was no way she was going back into self-imposed isolation.

  The man on the right spoke up first. “Yes, ma’am, I can walk with you anywhere you choose to go in this wing. My name is Angelo, ma’am.” He bowed with his introduction. She couldn’t help but smile at him. Finally, someone that volunteered their name! She supposed it made sense since they would be working closely with her, and she couldn’t just call them “hey you” all the time. It still made her happy.

  She looked to the man on the left, and he bowed slightly as well. “Ma’am, I am David. It is an honor.” It made her pink up a little bit at his compliment, but she was thrilled that these two didn’t seem to be like the servant earlier. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.

  “Thank you, Angelo and David. I appreciate your help.” She smiled at both of them, and she could feel herself relaxing just a little.

  “Angelo, I have a couple of hours, or near so, until dinner, and I would like to take a look around the gardens. It looks like a beautiful day to do so. Would it be okay if we just go walk around for a bit?” At her request, he stepped away from the door and turned to look at her expectantly.

  Before she could take another step, David stopped her. “Ma’am, if you are going to be walking around in the gardens, you might want to take a coat. It is chilly outside.” She chided herself for being so thoughtless and quickly ran to get her jacket.

  She was back in just a moment, and then she and Angelo were on their way. She had only gone a short distance when Angelo stopped her and pointed to a small door to her left; the exit to the gardens. She had missed it, since it was set back in a hallway.

  She could hardly contain her excitement as she walked outside into the brisk air. Since it was late afternoon, the sun was low in the sky, but there was still plenty of sunlight to explore by. It wouldn’t get dark until it was time for dinner. She started to wind her way through the manicured shrubs and flowers, taking her time and thoroughly enjoying the fresh air.

  21. Meeting the Queen

  Avila got caught up in the beauty of the garden, and noted that whoever took care of the place seemed to be making sure that flowers bloomed year-round. The ones that were currently in bloom would usually not be on Aril, so it had to be a conscious effort.

  Still, she knew she didn’t have a lot of time and wanted to check the hothouse, so she shook off her marvel and headed that direction. On the way, she noticed there were also small animals around, which made her positively giddy.

  When she reached the hothouse and opened the door, she was immediately struck by the strong perfume of hundreds of flowers. Inside wasn’t just an array of blooms, but a variety of some of the most exotic flowers Avila had ever seen. She could identify most of them, at least from textbooks, but there were several varieties there that she had never seen before.

  After walking around for only a few moments, she was struck by the need to be alone. “Angelo, would it be possible for me to look around here alone for a short time, please?”

  She had stopped abruptly, and her question clearly took him off guard, as he didn’t answer right away. “Look, I know you are supposed to stay with me at all times, and I don’t want to undermine those orders, but this is an enclosed space. If it makes you feel better, you can sweep the room before you leave. I would just like a little bit of privacy to look around before we have to go back, please.”

  She could tell that her argument had swayed him. There was no good reason for her not to be able to have a little alone time in here, and they both knew it, but he took the precaution of sweeping the room anyway. Once he was done and back by her side, he gave a quick bow. “I’ll be right outside when you are ready to leave, ma’am.”

  “Thank you, Angelo.” Once he was gone, she turned to immerse herself in the flowers around her. She went to the back of the room where she found a group of large purple blooms that she had never seen before. They were striking and she wished she had her sketchbook. The next time she came out, she would have to bring it with her.

  The perfume they gave off was intoxicating, something close to jasmine but muskier. She liked it. She wanted to touch them, but she wasn’t sure how they would react. She was all too familiar with plants that had violent reactions to contact. Until she knew more about that particular specimen, she didn’t want to take any chances.

  As she knelt to admire the group of flowers, something in the dirt caught her eye. Tiny weeds were growing in the flower bed. Just a few; someone probably hadn’t been to see to these in a few days. It could be the pests were meant to be there, but she doubted it. They were common weeds, a fast-growing and problematic plant in most gardens. With their size, they had probably only been growing for a matter of days, but left unattended, they could choke out other plants in no time at all.

  She made a spur of the moment decision and bent down to pull them up. She was careful not to touch the unnamed flowers, but she dug into the dirt and made sure she got the weeds out from the root up. She was so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn’t hear the slight rustling behind her, and it wasn’t until someone called out that she realized she wasn’t alone.

  She managed to stifle a scream, but she jumped up, barely missing the flowers on the way and dropping her handful of weeds. To her complete embarrassment, it was the most attractively dressed woman she had ever seen. She was immaculate in a business suit and heels, and her long, honey hair was the same shade as Galdren’s, although some of it was going grey. She was beautiful. As Avila stared, it finally struck her that this woman was probably the queen, and she was doubly mortified as she stood there with her muddied hands.

  Before Avila could make a move or say anything, the queen smiled at her, which took her completely by surprise. “You must be Avila. I am Queen Lorne. Your guard told me I could find you in here somewhere, but I wasn’t expecting to find you digging in my garden. Are my gardeners not doing their job well enough?”

  She was still smiling, so Avila didn’t think she was too upset, but this was the queen, after all. She finally f
ound the sense to move again and bowed low. “Your Majesty, my apologies if I have offended you. I was caught up in the moment and saw these small weeds growing. I only thought to pluck them before they got any larger.”

  The queen’s tinkling laughter took Avila entirely by surprise. “Please, relax. I am not concerned that you pulled up a few weeds. I am only surprised to find you bold enough to do so. Although, to be honest, from everything I have heard, I suppose I should not have been. Though, I am happy to see the care with which you treated the other flowers while you did so.”

  Avila was even more shocked now than she was before. Still, she supposed it wasn’t surprising that the most powerful woman in the world had heard about her and her doings; she was Galdren’s mother, after all. “Please, there is a wastebasket over here where you can dispose of those, and a bench where we can sit and speak.”

  Avila picked up the weeds she had dropped and followed the queen around the corner. She was pleased to see a small fountain with benches on three sides she had missed earlier. She tossed the weeds in the indicated wastebasket and sat stiffly beside the queen.

  “Now, would it surprise you to learn this is all my doing—the gardens, the hothouse, all of it?” The queen waved her hand around as she spoke to indicate everything around them, and Avila was awestruck. The flowers in the hothouse were extraordinary. It struck her then that the queen may also have planned for the animals to be in the gardens outside.

  “Ma’am, if I may, this place is beautiful, and there are things in here that I have never even heard of and—well, I know that may not mean anything to you, but I study these kinds of things, and—this is really something.” She knew her compliment was a little tepid, but she was sincere, and she hoped that it came through over her awkwardness. She would eventually get over that, she hoped.

  The queen laughed again, but it was muted this time. “I can see why my son admires you. You are sincere and straightforward. Those traits are not always easy to find, and it’s refreshing.” Avila blushed at the mention of Galdren. She blushed even brighter when it struck her that the queen was saying that Galdren had told her he admired Avila.

  The queen continued smiling while she gave Avila a moment to collect herself. While Avila struggled with her swirling thoughts of what Galdren had been saying to his mother about her, she was also trying to figure out what to say to this impressive woman. That was when she remembered her encounter earlier in the day and how the servant had reacted to her; she knew she couldn’t keep stumbling over herself. She recognized the queen’s polite smile; she had been trying to use the same one earlier herself.

  Recognizing that gave Avila a slight boost of confidence. Although she still felt intimidated, she could tell the queen really was interested in speaking to her. “Well, Your Majesty, I hadn’t always believed I would be appreciated for being so outspoken, but thank you for the compliment.” Avila was finally able to return the queen’s smile, and she could feel something loosening up inside herself.

  This time the queen’s smile broadened, and Avila could tell it was with sincere pleasure. “Please, Avila, there is no need to continue to call me Majesty, ma’am will be fine.”

  Something told Avila that level of comfort with the queen was not a regular thing. Still, given her history with Galdren and her own personal proclivities, she wasn’t going to complain. If the queen was all right with things being a little less formal, it was okay with Avila.

  “Thank you, ma’am. I will try to remember that.” Now that Avila was able to calm down, she was overcome again by the fact that these gardens were all there by the queen’s will.

  “Ma’am, can you tell me more about the flowers in this hothouse? There are so many that I don’t recognize, and some even look like they might not be from Aril.”

  The queen’s smile became even brighter than it had been. “It is wonderful that you were able to figure that out with just a brief examination! There are several here that come from a variety of planets. The one you were examining comes from Maru. It has a great deal of tropical and subtropical climate areas. That particular specimen grows to be much larger in the right climate, but it is somewhat stunted here.”

  Avila could tell the plants were a passion for the queen, and she couldn’t help but get excited. She had never had many people to talk to that were as interested as her in the variety of plant life. If she had not been called into ecology to further her goals, she would have gone into botany.

  Before she could get on a roll and start asking questions, they were interrupted by a quiet noise behind them. They both turned at the same time to see Angelo and another guard standing a short distance away. “Your Majesty, my apologies for interrupting, but I just received a call from Prince Galdren. He asked that I remind the Lady Durant that dinner will be served in thirty minutes and to ask her to please not be late,” Angelo said with a bow, then waited for a response.

  Avila noticed the queen suppress a quick sigh. “Thank you for the notification. If you could wait outside for a moment, I will make sure she will be out shortly.” She then turned back to Avila, but her smile was not as warm as it had been.

  “I had hoped that we would have more of an opportunity to talk. I will be looking forward to continuing our conversation at some point soon.” With that, the queen stood up, and Avila quickly followed.

  “If you have no problem with it, I would like to visit with you. I can send a message ahead to make sure you are available.” Avila was surprised—both at the fact that the queen was asking her instead of commanding an audience, and, most surprisingly, that the queen seemed to be looking forward to it.

  “Thank you, ma’am. That would be wonderful. Any afternoon would work fine—or any time you are available, of course,” Avila finished with a blush.

  “I would not disturb you while you are in class, so an afternoon will be fine, or perhaps this weekend, before the party. By the way, speaking about the party, do you have anything to wear?” The question took Avila by surprise. She had not thought about what to wear, much less having to get anything.

  “I’m not sure, ma’am. What would be appropriate?”

  The queen smiled knowingly at her response. “Well, since it is going to be a formal affair, a formal dress would be most appropriate. We can make sure you have something, of course. I will come by later this week and bring a few things with me.” The queen’s offer made Avila blush, but she tried to control it. Although she hadn’t thought about that aspect of her new life, she realized that it shouldn’t have been a surprise; of course she’d need new clothes to go with her new title. She only hated the part that it forced her to rely on others.

  With a slight bow again, she said, “Thank you. I appreciate the kindness, and will be looking forward to your visit.”

  The queen smiled again. “Please, I am sure it will be enjoyable. For now, let us get back before my son sends more people to fetch you.”

  With that, they both headed outside. Once they were with the guards, Avila could see there were several waiting for the queen. With a quick wave, the queen headed off in the opposite direction of where Avila needed to go.

  Avila returned the wave and then headed back the direction she had come. Angelo was directly behind her. She paused in her walking and turned to look at him. “Thank you for that opportunity. I really appreciated getting to visit that wonderful place in silence.”

  He gave her a nod. “My lady, thank you for your kindness.”

  Avila was beginning to understand what it meant, not only to be in the castle, but also to have responsibilities. She didn’t want to make things awkward, so she turned back with a smile and continued walking.

  She made it back to the room with just a few minutes to spare. She really didn’t have time to freshen up, but did anyway; she thought showing up at the table with dirt on her hands would be far more impolite than arriving a few minutes late.

  T
hankfully, Galdren understood her tardiness. Especially when she relayed what had kept her, though he did seem taken aback at the reminder that she needed a dress. At least he looked reassured, and perhaps a bit amused, that his mother already had plans to rectify the lack.

  Avila wasn’t thrilled about his suggestion of a whole new wardrobe as well, but his argument that she needed to dress the part of a member of the household made sense. She grudgingly agreed to the fitting, and the rest of the meal was spent in comfortable conversation.

  Once the meal was finished, the two of them bade each other good night, and headed to their respective rooms. It was still too early for sleep, so Avila decided it would be a great time to vo-im her parents. They were both glad that she seemed to be settling in, and happy that she had met the queen and it had gone well.

  Avila thought it was a little strange that they were so excited about that—not about the meeting, but that she got along with the queen. However, she was beginning to get tired, and she knew she still needed to vo-im Lissa as well. When she mentioned it, they seemed a little reluctant to cut the conversation short, but didn’t argue. Although, Lila did make Avila promise to call back soon with more time to spend going over everything new.

  As soon as she disconnected with her parents, she immediately called Lissa. She had no doubt her friend had plenty of questions, and couldn’t put it off; not without Lissa going off on a reminder of what best friends meant the next time they spoke. The thought of that had her chuckling when the line connected and Lissa’s face filled the screen.

  Lissa must have caught the sound, as she immediately grinned as she said, “I knew it! You said you weren’t sure about the move, but you’re enjoying it, aren’t you?”

  Avila gave her friend an exasperated look, but didn’t get to respond before Lissa continued, “So what’s it like? Where did they move you? Are you still close to Prince Hottie? Is he still being extra nice to you? Do you have servants?”