Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  He raised his eyebrow at her again, but she just gave him a wry smile and continued, “Her Majesty, Queen Lorne, has asked for an audience this afternoon. She would like to come to visit me, actually. The thing is, she said she would need to come a little early, like at around three. I accepted the invitation with the hope that I would be allowed to finish my work early today. I promise I won’t skip anything; I would just like to make as much haste as possible.”

  She finished the last part in a hurry before the professor could interject. He didn’t make any attempt to, however. He shook his head at her instead. “Of course. I would never think of inconveniencing the queen. I will make sure you have everything you need to be done before three. The rest will be up to you.”

  Avila grinned at him and sat down, ready to get started. The professor tried and failed to hide his laugh as he got right into it.

  Avila made sure to concentrate on what she had in front of her and found that the day was passing quicker than she realized. Breakfast and lunch both came and went with her barely taking any time for them. With the extra effort, she was able to finish the day’s lessons with time to spare.

  Once she completed her last lesson of the day and the professor was getting ready to leave, he commented, “I know you can’t keep up that pace every day, but if you can find the motivation to try at least a little, you will be graduating in no time. I shouldn’t be, but I am surprised again by what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.”

  Avila wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. If she’d put in extra effort every day, she might have already been able to catch up, but with everything going on, she had done what she had to and no more. She knew it wasn’t a terrible thing, but she felt a little bad at his reminder that she hadn’t tried harder.

  The professor frowned at the shadow that passed over her face. “That was not meant to be a reprimand. I know you are already working hard, and there is no need to push yourself harder. You just never fail to impress me when you do push yourself.”

  Avila blushed a little at his compliment that time. “Thank you, Professor. I know you were not trying to criticize. I just thought that I might have pushed myself a little harder, but I know I don’t want to burn out either. Thank you though, I know I wouldn’t have gotten even this far without you.” As far as she was concerned, she didn’t think she would ever be able to thank him enough.

  Her words brought a smile to the professor’s eyes, and a glint of pride before he quickly gathered his things. With a quick wave back to Avila, he was out of sight once the door closed.

  Avila had finished before usual, but she didn’t have much time before the queen would arrive. She looked around to make sure everything was still in order, then went to freshen up. Not that she needed to, but she wanted to make a better impression than she had the last time she met the queen. Once she was done, she went and sat stiffly in her sitting area near the fireplace while she waited. Time seemed to slow to a crawl.

  Eventually, there was a knock on her door, followed by Angelo. He stepped in to announce the arrival of the queen. Instead of walking back out, however, he held the door open, and a man that was very apparently a guard entered the room. He was followed by the queen herself and then another woman wearing the same livery as the man.

  Angelo closed the door behind the woman, then walked to stand behind the seat Avila had been sitting in. She gave him a funny look, but he didn’t appear to notice. She didn’t have time to ask either, so she let it drop.

  With the queen standing in front of her again, she was reminded of how imposing the woman was without even trying. There was just something in her stance.

  Avila quickly caught her thoughts before they could run wild and gave the queen a deep bow. “Your Majesty, welcome, and thank you for your visit today. You have given me a great honor.” Avila remembered her last conversation and hoped that they could once again get to that point, but with the current setting, she felt it would be better to err on the side of caution and then follow the queen’s example.

  When Avila stood, it seemed to her that the queen’s smile almost seemed strained, but if it had been, the moment was gone. She was the picture of grace. “Please, sit with me. I know I asked for this appointment earlier than I had anticipated. I hope it did not cause any issues for you?”

  The queen was already making herself comfortable across from Avila, and the two that came with her took up spots behind and to each side of her. Once Avila could see she was comfortable, she followed suit and sat as requested.

  “Your Majesty, it was no problem at all. I was able to finish everything early today with a little help from my tutor. Thank you for your concern, though.”

  That time, Avila was sure that she did see a small crease between the queen’s brows before she spoke again. “Avila, please, I do believe I requested you to be a little less formal. There is no need to be so tense.”

  “Ah, yes, ma’am, you did. I will try to keep that in mind, thank you.” Avila slightly lowered her head to the queen as a show of acquiescence and respect.

  “Well, thank you for agreeing to see me so early. I appreciate you making the time. How are you settling into life here so far?” Avila could see the same smile on the queen’s face that she had used in the hothouse. She could tell it was designed to try to put her at ease.

  Once again, she reminded herself that she wasn’t going to get anywhere if she stayed as stiff as she was. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and smiling back at the queen. “So far, I am happy to say that things are already settling into a pattern. I know there are still many things I will need to adjust to, but I am heartened by the way things have gone up to this point.”

  “Good, I am so glad to hear it. I had hoped it wouldn’t be too intimidating for you.” The queen’s smile had relaxed into genuine joy at Avila’s response. It didn’t take much for Avila to get caught up in her exuberance. She was beginning to see that the queen had a charming personality.

  “Thank you, ma’am. I have to tell you, the gardens have been a major help to me. It is nice having such a wonderful place to look to or visit to relax. Galdren told me that not only did you orchestrate them, but you get as much enjoyment from them as I do, if not more.” It hadn’t occurred to Avila that she had once again called Galdren by name until she noted the other people in the room shuffling uncomfortably. She berated herself and hoped it wouldn’t get her in too much trouble.

  Surprisingly though, the queen did not mention it at all. Her eyes were alight. Avila thought it might have to do with the turn in the conversation. “Ah, yes. Did he also tell you that I would be out tending it myself if I could?” The queen laughed. “Not that he would be incorrect. That might be one of the reasons I took an instant liking to you.”

  The queen’s blunt statement had Avila blushing. “Well, um, thank you, ma’am. I understand how you might feel, but I certainly wasn’t expecting that to be your territory. It was a pleasant surprise.”

  Avila worried her candor might be offensive, but when she looked up, she found the same light in the queen’s eyes, and her smile was just as brilliant.

  “It is so nice having someone that can appreciate everything that has gone into my little project. Have you had the opportunity to navigate the maze?”

  “No, ma’am, I have not had the opportunity as of yet, but I do plan on looking into it as soon as I have a few spare hours.”

  “That’s too bad, but I understand. I won’t ruin it for you, but there is certainly a wonderful spot there for those with the patience to find it.” Before the queen could continue, there was another knock, and David opened the door and announced the arrival of the tailor.

  Avila, who had completely forgotten clothes for the ball were the main reason for the queen’s visit, motioned for David to show them in and turned to see the queen standing again as well. “Good, I am glad they were able to get her
e. Where would you like them to set up?”

  The queen’s question stumped Avila for a moment. She had not thought about that. After another moment, she answered, “Ma’am, the table should have enough space to set everything up. Is there anything in particular they need that is not already here?”

  The tailor had already come in, and at Avila’s words looked to where she had pointed. “Lady Durant, this will be sufficient space to set up, but I am sure you will want to try some of these items on before we can tailor them for you.”

  At the man’s words, Avila was thrown once more. She also hadn’t considered having to try things on with other people around. She stared blankly back at the man for a moment.

  “Of course, if we could have her lady’s maid called, we can make short work of this. Avila, could you call for her?” At the queen’s suggestion, Avila jumped into action. Since she didn’t have a com unit to call anyone, she turned to Angelo, who was still in the room with her.

  “Angelo, could you please call for Meru, or ask David to? The sooner, the better, please.” He bowed at her request and stepped away but not out of the room. He made sure to keep her within sight. Again, this made Avila frown, but she didn’t have time to ask.

  He made the call and reported that she would be in shortly. With that settled, the tailor immediately captured Avila’s attention and began to show drawn designs for the rest of the wardrobe to both the ladies. There were a great many dress suits, which Avila thought suited the queen perfectly. However, when she thought of wearing them herself, she became uncomfortable. She tended to wear pants all the time, and the thought of being asked to switch to dresses made her panic.

  Before the tailor could get far with the designs, the queen spoke up. “These are all wonderful designs, but they don’t seem to suit the Lady Durant. Can we skip the everyday dresses for now and move on to the other items you might have for everyday wear?”

  Avila wasn’t sure how the queen had figured that out already, but she was not going to complain. The tailor set aside the thick stack of drawings he had been going through and pulled out a different set instead.

  Once he started going through them, Avila was more than pleased. There were still some suits, but they were pantsuits, cut sharp to accentuate a feminine figure while still being flexible. There were other pieces as well, things Avila was already used to wearing: sweaters, pants, and many other items that could be considered common, but the way they were designed made them seem less dreary.

  Avila had not seen anything yet that she didn’t like, although she wondered if her sense of fashion was a little off when she looked between the drawings and the queen. She couldn’t see the queen wearing most of those items. She was far too elegant.

  Before Avila could raise any objections, the queen had already stood. “I love this second set. I think the whole lot would do nicely. Do you have any cloth selections for us to look through?”

  Her acceptance of the less-than-elegant set of designs made Avila pause. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, but she did want to make sure to try and fit in. “Um, ma’am, I do agree that the second set of designs was stunning, but well . . . I am trying to find my place here, and I want to make sure I do what I can.”

  She wasn’t sure if she got her point across well enough, but she didn’t want to disagree with the queen, especially since she preferred that set as well. Apparently, the queen understood. “You will make a stunning impression no matter what you are wearing, my dear, but there is no sense in making you suffer to suit an ideal.”

  The queen’s reassurances and smile were enough to put Avila at ease, although it was unexpected. Given what she knew of the woman so far, it should not have been.

  The tailor had already retrieved the cloth samples and laid them out for Avila and the queen. The quality was fantastic on all of them, light and not stiff at all. The knits were incredibly soft. Everything was in natural shades as well. Someone must have forewarned the tailor of her preferences. There were muted reds, various shades of green, and many other earth tones with a few pale colors thrown in for contrast. It was a beautiful setup, and before long, fabrics for the entire lineup were decided.

  Avila was surprised that it had been so easy, but honestly, there hadn’t been much choice involved. The queen had been adamant about getting the whole set, so it was only a matter of which material for each piece.

  Once that was done, the tailor bowed to the queen and reminded her about the matter of the dress as well. Avila had completely forgotten about that with everything else going on, but the queen did not seem disturbed in the least when she turned to her.

  “Avila, I hope you don’t mind, but I wasn’t sure how much time we would have left and thought it might be easier if I narrowed down the selections before coming over. I had them send me the choices and picked two for them to bring.”

  “No ma’am, of course, that is fine. I am sure whatever you have picked out will be beautiful. You have wonderful taste.” The queen only smiled at her response and motioned for the tailor to bring the dresses out.

  For a moment, Avila forgot to breathe. Both dresses were simple as far as formal wear went. Neither had any lace, frills, extra embroidery, or anything else to detract from the elegant lines. That being said, they were both absolutely stunning.

  Avila’s gaze was first drawn to the green dress, of course. It looked to be just past knee length. The skirt flowed smoothly from the top, curved at the waist, and then fell into gentle folds. It had a V-shaped neckline and Avila wondered if it might be a little revealing, but her gaze was soon dragged onward. The material was such a dark green that it almost looked black, and it had full-length sleeves. She had a hard time pulling her gaze away from it.

  When she finally looked at the second dress, she was thrilled again. That one was pale lavender, not a color she would have usually picked out, but beautiful nonetheless. The dress was sleeveless and gathered at the shoulders, with a U-shaped neckline and folds across the chest. It was full length and curved in at the waist, then fell in gentle folds all the way to the floor. The dress had a classic feel to it.

  Looking back and forth between the two, Avila found she was having a hard time deciding. Suddenly she remembered she was not alone in the room and quickly turned back to the queen with a slight blush.

  She found her smiling. She was obviously enjoying seeing Avila’s pleasure, which had Avila smiling back. “Would you like to try them both on before you decide? Honestly, that is part of the reason I wanted to come early. I thought it would be nice if we could do this uninterrupted.”

  Avila glanced at both dresses again. The thought of trying them both on was exciting but a little intimidating. When she looked back to the queen, the woman was already motioning to Meru, who must have come in at some point during the presentation. “Did Avila say your name was Meru?”

  “Yes, Your Majesty.” Meru bowed and then kept her head down respectfully.

  “Good, would you please take both of those dresses to the Lady Durant’s dressing room and assist her in changing? Avila, once you have them on, if you don’t mind, I would like to see them.”

  Avila almost felt like she was back in her old life shopping with Lila again, and the thought had her momentarily choked up. It made her wish once again that her parents would be able to attend the ball. However, she knew it was a futile desire, so she gathered herself so she could properly respond. “It would be my honor, ma’am. I won’t be long.”

  With that, Avila followed Meru into her sleeping room. Avila opted for the green one first, and it did not take them long to get it on. She was surprised at how well it fit. It looked like there might be a need to bring it in some around the waist, but otherwise, it was perfect. She was a little embarrassed by the fact that the V-neck plunged as much as she thought it might. She had exposed cleavage, something she was not used to. It was still a beautiful dress, and she had promised
to show it off, so she had Meru open the door to let them know she was coming out.

  When she walked out, the queen beamed at her. “Absolutely stunning! I knew that dress would suit you. What do you think?”

  Avila turned red at the compliment but tried her best to answer truthfully. “I agree, ma’am. The dress is stunning, but I am not sure I can wear it. Honestly, it makes me a little uncomfortable.” Avila glanced down when she said this, and luckily didn’t need to explain any further.

  “I understand. While I think it looks gorgeous on you, it is your decision to make.” Avila couldn’t help but grin at the queen’s kindness. Now that she had shown the dress off, she quickly made her way back to her room to change again. It wasn’t until she was back in the room that she realized she had still been in her socks. It was embarrassing, but not worth changing. Besides, the next one would cover them anyway.

  The lavender dress was just as easy to put on, and thankfully the bust line was not nearly as revealing. It was still lower than Avila was used to, but she could live with it. When she turned to look in the mirror before she left the room, she had to stop for a moment. The drastic contrast between the pale dress and her skin and hair was striking.

  She shook her head to remind herself people were waiting and again had Meru open the door to let them know she was ready. When she stepped out, she thought she heard a couple of sharp breaths, but she only saw smiling faces when she looked around. Even Angelo was smiling at her.

  She couldn’t help but smile back. It seemed like the decision was made already. At least it hadn’t been hard. “I guess that means this will be the dress.” She was still smiling when she turned to the queen.

  “It looks like it,” the queen said with a smile. “Does it look like the fit is fine, or will there be any adjustments necessary?” She motioned Avila over.

  This dress was a little loose in the waist just like the other one, but otherwise fit fine. It didn’t take the tailor long to notate the correct measurements and mark where the fabric needed to be taken in. “Ma’am, if you will change back and let me take this, I can have these adjustments completed tonight and the dress back to you by morning.”