Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  Her last thoughts before she fell to sleep were of all the future possibilities. She had no doubt it would not be the last time she visited Blathane, and she was still smiling when she finally drifted off.

  30. What If?

  The next day was as eventful as the previous one had been. The hotelier provided them with what he said was a traditional breakfast before he recommended that they check out the open-air market. Avila was thrilled with all of it. She didn’t even think to argue when Galdren insisted that she pick something out to take back with her.

  She hadn’t wanted to get anything large, but she finally found a thin bracelet of finely woven silver. The design looped around, then back in on itself. The stall owner had explained that it represented the knot of eternity. There was no beginning, and no end. It was supposed to represent the cycle of life, death, and rebirth that was common to the belief structure on Talamh. Despite not remembering the concept, it still resonated within her, and she wore it for the rest of the day.

  All in all, it was an exceptional trip. By the time they headed back to Nerada and then Aril, Avila was both tired and satisfied. It was late when they got back to their rooms that night, but her excellent mood carried into her sleep, and her nightmares couldn’t touch her.

  ―

  The next few weeks seemed to fly by. Professor Gilbert seemed thrilled to see Avila in such high spirits, and even more so when she shared the tales of her adventure. The only thing she didn’t mention was her run-in with the strange shopkeeper. She didn’t tell anyone about that. It wasn’t that it bothered her, per se, but she still had no idea what to think of it. That meant she tried not to.

  She hadn’t even mentioned it to her parents, though if anyone knew anything, it might have been them. Still, it wasn’t worth bringing up. It wasn’t like she had much time to talk to them anyway. She vo-imed them at least once every few days, along with Lissa, but none of them had been able to visit since she moved, and the conversations were usually short by necessity. She did vow to make arrangements to see them soon when she had the chance to speak to Galdren about it.

  Nathan had been just as thrilled to hear her tales as the professor had been. The two of them spent nearly every afternoon in the gardens after her lessons were done for the day. The only time they didn’t was when the rain or duties prevented it.

  Avila noted that Galdren didn’t seem to be fond of his cousin, but he was never rude. Though, the interactions between the two men were usually only at dinner time. That she didn’t see the prince often anymore still bothered her, but any time she thought about it, she reminded herself that it was not her business anyway.

  If she wasn’t with Nathan or the professor, she was in the hothouse with Queen Lorne. The two of them were still trying to ensure that the new arrivals were going to survive the trip. Thankfully, they had only lost a couple of plants so far. They had even moved one to Avila’s room as promised. So far it was doing well, though she had to be mindful that it not get too much sun.

  It was during one of those meetings near the end of her second week back from Nerada that the queen turned to her with a soft smile. “I had almost forgotten, but there will be a party this weekend. One of our cousins has just come of age, and we will be celebrating here. It would be wonderful if you agreed to attend.”

  Avila tried not to grimace. She had enjoyed herself during the last ball, but she couldn’t bring herself to look forward to them. Still, the look the queen was giving her was hard to turn down. “I would be happy to if you think I would not be out of place.”

  Queen Lorne came dangerously close to rolling her eyes as she waved off Avila’s concern. “You are part of this household. It would only be strange if you never attended such functions.”

  Avila still wasn’t sure she agreed with that sentiment, but she wasn’t going to argue. “All right, then. Will it be as formal as the last one?”

  After that, the two of them got drawn into a discussion about what Avila would wear. She wasn’t thrilled that the queen insisted on bringing more dresses for her to look at, but somehow, she still ended up looking at several the next afternoon.

  This time, she was told she could keep all the dresses and accessories she liked for future use, but the one she picked out for the party was scarlet. The color was showy enough that she almost declined it, but once she tried it on, she found it complemented her complexion well. It was floor length with a high neckline, and the sleeves were fitted and went to her wrists. A sheer sewn-in cape-like attachment fell from her shoulders to the floor and covered most of her arms, but the fabric flowed well enough that it did not hinder her movement.

  The fitted bodice had tiny embroidered vines in a similar color to the dress that circled the waist before crisscrossing over the chest and around the neck. Even though Avila loved it, she did wonder if it was too flashy. The queen assured her it was not.

  Once that was decided, Queen Lorne waited until the tailor and his crew were gone before she gestured to one of her guards, and the woman brought over a case. Avila eyed it as the woman handed it to her, then hesitated as she looked over at the queen. The other woman only smiled and put her hand over Avila’s on top of the box. “I was told you didn’t even bother looking at any other pieces. Consider them a gift. They should go well with almost anything.”

  Avila’s eyes widened when she realized what the queen must be talking about. She opened the case to see the vine necklace and matching earrings. When she looked up again to object, the other woman only shook her head. “Don’t bother. I’m sure you have already been told how stubborn I can be. Let me have this.”

  That response had Avila floundering. After a few seconds, she slowly closed the box and gave the queen a nod. “Thank you.” That was all she could produce; she was too touched by the gesture. It seemed to be enough for the queen, as they soon got caught up in another conversation about a possible new addition the queen was thinking of adding to her hothouse collection. It was another exotic, but if she did decide to have them shipped in, it would be the following year.

  ―

  The next day found Savanah and her crew back in Avila’s rooms. It didn’t take quite as long as it had last time, but Avila was learning the woman was a perfectionist. She refused to declare the preparations finished until she was fully satisfied with the look. At least they were done with more than enough time for her to eat something before Meru arrived to help with the dress.

  Once again, Galdren was not able to escort her personally. It was something that she was getting used to, even if it did bother her, especially when she thought about how close they had seemed during the trip to Blathane—but perhaps it had all been in her imagination. They were still close friends, even if they didn’t speak as often. She forced those thoughts from her mind as Angelo led her out of the family wing. They weren’t going to do anything to help her mood.

  Her forced smile became a real one when she walked out of the family wing to see Nathan waiting with Adam. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and he dropped into a low bow. “It is as though I have been graced by the goddess herself.”

  When he stood, he took her hand and grinned at her. Avila felt her cheeks heat slightly at his compliment, but she shook her head. “There is no need for flattery.”

  He gave her a wink as he brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “Who said it was flattery?”

  Avila pulled her hand back and tried to give him a scowl, though the effect was ruined by the pink tips of her ears. “Why are you here?”

  He rolled his eyes at her obstinance before he took her hand again and tucked it into his arm. “I was told you did not have an escort. I would hope that I am sufficient.”

  “Oh.” As close as the two of them were becoming, she had not thought of him wanting to escort her anywhere. She knew it meant little as far as affection went, but she was pleased that he held her in high enough regard to wish to do so. S
he finally managed a grin to match his. “Well, if that is the case, then lead on, Lord de Legris.” He rolled his eyes again at her use of his title as they headed toward the ballroom.

  When they paused in the doorway, Avila felt a little uncomfortable when they were announced. She hadn’t thought about how it might look that they arrived together, but from the looks she caught, she felt some people were reading more into it than there was. At least it wasn’t long until Nathan had her forgetting about the rest. The group in attendance was different from the one last time, but there were still many people she recognized.

  When it was time for the ball to start, Avila allowed Nathan to guide her into the ballroom, but she felt her heart lurch when they stayed back and watched as Galdren led a stunning young woman onto the floor. She couldn’t ignore the whispers of how good the two looked together and wondered if perhaps the girl was one of the few that would be in the running for Galdren’s bride. He would eventually have to marry.

  That thought left a burning sensation in her stomach. Thankfully, Nathan was quick to grab her attention as he pulled her onto the dance floor. His smile was strained, and she knew he had realized something was wrong, but he didn’t mention it. Instead, he told her a little about the girl that was the honoree of the proceedings, and currently dancing with Galdren.

  She wasn’t exactly relieved when Nathan told her the girl was their cousin in little more than name. The relation was so distant that the only reason they still called them cousin was because the girl’s family was loud in proclaiming their relation to the royal family. He also told her that the girl was supposed to be the epitome of what a young royal should be. She could tell he hadn’t meant it as a compliment, but that didn’t make her feel any better. She had to push back visions of what might happen to her when Galdren did finally find someone.

  Nathan led Avila through several more dances, and she was even asked by a few of the men they had talked to earlier. Still, she could not banish the picture of Galdren dancing with the beautiful tall blonde. Finally, she had to beg off the next dance and headed to the refreshment table. Nathan offered to go in her stead, but she smiled and told him to go mingle. He clearly didn’t like it, but he seemed to understand she needed a few moments away from everyone and nodded to her before walking to where the queen and king were standing with Galdren.

  Avila was grateful that he had not insisted more. She was also thankful that he was there to help her keep her mind off things she shouldn’t be thinking of, but that didn’t keep her from feeling overwhelmed.

  When she got to the refreshment area, she didn’t even bother looking at the selection; she just grabbed the closest drink. However, she nearly spat it back out again when the saccharin flavor crossed her tongue. It was more like syrup than fruit juice. She managed to swallow it to keep from making a fool of herself, but she also put the half-empty cup back on the tray of discards.

  When she turned around to face the dance floor once again, she was pulled up short by the sight of the blonde she had seen dancing with Galdren. It took her several seconds to remember the girl’s name, but she finally bowed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Dunoire. I hope your birthday celebrations are to your liking.”

  The girl eyed her for a moment before she accepted a drink from the attendant. With the cup in hand, she stepped until she stood next to Avila. She looked out at the crowd and smiled before she lowered her voice and said, “Why are you here?”

  Avila was taken aback. She wasn’t sure what had motivated the question, but she still tried to be polite. “I beg your pardon that we have not had the chance to meet yet, but I’m sure the queen invited me so that I could remedy that fact.”

  The girl finally turned to face her. She was still smiling, but it never reached her eyes, and her voice was cold. “That is not what I meant. Surely you thought about how it might disgrace me to have you here? You may be a budding scientist of some renown, and even be touted as a ward of the royal family, but that doesn’t negate what else you are.”

  Avila felt her blood run cold. There were always those who did not accept her presence in the capital, but none had been so forthright about it in years. She faked a smile to match Lady Dunoire’s as she answered, “What else? And what else do you believe me to be that would be so disgraceful?”

  The girl covered a huff with her cup. Her smile was back in place when she lowered it, but Avila did not miss the tension in her jaw. “Look around you. Do you see any others like you?” The girl paused long enough to catch Avila’s eye before she continued, “Your kind are not welcome in the capital for a reason. Even if that were not the case, I have no desire for the prince’s harlot to be paraded about during a celebration meant for me.”

  Avila’s smile froze. This was precisely what she had been afraid of. Some people were going to believe whatever they wished, no matter the evidence. She was still trying to work through a reply when the girl lifted her nose a little and added, “It’s even more disgraceful that you flaunt your connection to Lord de Legris. As though it were not enough to bed the royal heir.” She then turned to Avila with a sneer. “You should leave.”

  Finally, Avila managed to find her tongue. She gave the girl a cold smile of her own, and her eyes flashed as she said, “Do not worry, my lady, I will ensure that we never speak again. Since harlotism is obviously a communicable disease, I need to make sure I don’t catch it.” She then bowed her head slightly. “If you’ll excuse me.” She turned back to the refreshment area and walked to the far end.

  From the corner of her eye, Avila could see the Lady Dunoire stare after her for a few moments with an expression that was just shy of murder. It took the girl several seconds to bring it back under control. She huffed once more and practically threw the cup in her hand before storming off.

  ―

  Nathan was wearing a bright smile when he got to where Galdren was standing. He bowed to them all before he turned to his aunt. “You are lovely as ever, ma’am.”

  Lorne chuckled at his pandering, then waved him closer. “Come, tell me how the night goes.”

  Nathan’s smile faltered for a split second, but he managed to cover it as he joined them on the dais, and it was as brilliant as ever when he gestured across the room. “The Lady Dunoire is exceptionally lucky to have you at the head of her arrangements. This will be a night she won’t soon forget, I’m sure.”

  The queen’s expression fell slightly as she raised a brow at him. “While I am sure you are correct, that was not what I meant. How has the newest member of our household been this night?”

  Nathan’s smile faded a little as he looked across the room. It did not take him long to locate Avila. He was surprised to see the ball’s honoree approaching her, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he turned back to the queen. “She fits in exceptionally well, at least when she is not thinking about trying to.” He shook his head and gave her a lopsided smile. “She seems to be the only one to not realize how brilliant she is.”

  The queen returned his smile with one of her own. “I am sure that will change in time. Thank you for offering to escort her. I’m sure she appreciates having a familiar face nearby.”

  He gave her a nod as his eyes sought out the woman they were speaking of once again. They narrowed as he watched the two women talking. Something seemed off, but his attention was drawn by Galdren. “Nathan, would you speak with me a moment?”

  Nathan looked over at his cousin with curiosity. It was unusual for him to bring up anything of import during one of these things, but he still nodded. “Of course. Do we need to leave?”

  Galdren seemed to be fighting a frown as he shook his head. “Not at all. This is something I have discussed with the queen already.”

  Nathan gave him another curious look and wondered again why it couldn’t wait. When he looked over at the thrones, the queen waved them off. “It is nothing to worry about.”

 
Galdren’s expression didn’t seem to agree, but he still stepped to the side. He got right to the point as soon as Nathan joined him. “I understand that your offer for Lady Durant to visit the Peloun Reserve was sincere. I am sure she only declined because I have previously expressed my wish for her not to go anywhere unattended, and I cannot spare the time to go with you.”

  It took all Nathan had not to frown at the reminder. He was one of the few people who was privy to the full reason Avila was part of the castle household, and he didn’t care for it. Still, there was little he could do about it.

  He was not given a chance to voice any of his thoughts before Galdren continued, “I have sworn to protect her, and if she goes, I will not be able to.” He then paused and gave Nathan an intense look. “However, I know she wishes to visit the reserve. If I were to allow it, would you give me your word that you would do the same in my place?”

  Nathan was struck dumb for several seconds. The offer was the last thing he had expected. Still, he already had an answer. “I give my word that she will be safe with me.”

  Galdren’s jaw clenched. Avila might not understand what was going on, but Nathan had no doubts as to what motivated the prince’s expression. That didn’t make him back down. He stood there and waited for Galdren to find the words. “When I ask for her safety to be ensured, I mean against all threats. Physical and emotional.”

  Nathan raised a brow at that. He had to swallow a barbed retort about Galdren’s actions where the woman was concerned. Now wasn’t the time. Instead, he managed a nod. “I would think to do no less.”

  Galdren’s fists clenched along with his jaw that time, but after a few seconds, he gave his cousin a nod. “Then I will agree to allow her to go with you when you go back to your father’s estate. Since you will only be gone for a few weeks, it is acceptable for her to return with you. We can discuss the details tomorrow since you will not be leaving until the end of next week.”