The mild flirtation sent her heart fluttering. She looked away and changed the subject. “I do need a favor. I would like to harvest my garden, but I don’t want to go alone. Could you send one of your men with me?”
He frowned and shook his head. “Didn’t you just hear me tell you that Richard was near there? I wouldn’t feel right sending you. It’s just not safe. Do you think your garden can wait a few more days? If so, I’ll take you myself.”
“If that’s what it takes to get into my garden, I can wait. I wish… I wish I never met Richard. I’ve wished that so many times, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I try to put it all out of my mind, but I’m constantly reminded of him. Partly because he’s been showing up, which is bad enough, but the worst is when someone tries to touch me. Even the most innocent touch makes me cringe. I keep trying not to react like that. I tell myself this is not Richard, but it doesn’t seem to do any good. I guess I just don’t want to end up alone. Maybe I should give John and his kids a chance.”
Teagan almost looked as if he was in a panic. “What if we practice hugging? That might be of some help to you.”
“Practice hugging? Really? I don’t think that will work.”
“We can try. We’ve known each other since we were children, and I know you trust me.” He stepped forward to where she was sitting and offered her his hand. She hesitated for a moment and then put her hand in his. She got to her feet, and they were standing closer than she thought they’d be. For a moment, she wanted to back away, but she didn’t.
Teagan gently pulled her into his arms, and she tried taking deep breaths to calm herself. She knew she was as stiff as a board, but she couldn’t help it. It was the fear of being hurt the fear of the pain and humiliation that kept her from leaning into him. He pulled her closer and kissed her on the cheek and then let her go.
“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked with a note of tenderness in his voice.
“It wasn’t good… but you’re right, it wasn’t so bad.” She shook her head, feeling helpless. “I just hate for you to spend your time on me and not have it work. I don’t think John expects hugs and kisses from me.”
“You might be right for now. Initially he won’t expect any intimacy, but as years go on don’t you think he’ll want you to ask to act like a wife? I’m not saying this to scare you. I’m just saying the truth of things.” His smile seemed sad. “But if you’re set on having John, you must tell him he won’t be able to touch you.”
“Would I even have to say a word about it?” She frowned.
“What about after the wedding? What about holding hands on your wedding day? You have to touch him when he escorts you into church. But you can probably handle that, right?” He stepped back and gazed into her eyes.
He definitely made her feel uncomfortable, and she didn’t like it, but he was right. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked away from him. “I keep thinking of these big dreams of what my life might be like or what I’d like it to be but I’m only fooling myself. I’ll never be normal and the sooner I accept it the better. At one time I thought about moving to a different town but that wouldn’t solve anything. As soon as we finish this thing with Richard, I’ll go back to my ranch.”
“I didn’t come in here to shatter your dreams or make you unhappy. I’m sorry it ended up that way.”
“I just feel sorry for John and his children. They don’t deserve the hardship they’re going through and if I can help…”
“Helping is always good, but in the end, I don’t think it will be helping. Children can sense things, and they’ll know there’s something wrong between you and their father. But you know that’s between you and John. I don’t know why I am spouting off advice. You don’t see me married with children. Most days I’m not even happy. I just hate to see you sad.”
She gave him a small smile. “Thank you for being a friend. Well, if I can’t do my garden I might as well do yours.” She turned and grabbed a straw hat.
“Are we? Are we even friends?”
Gemma whirled around to face him again. “How can you even ask? Unless you don’t want to be friends with me. I know I’ve been nothing but a bother lately, and if you’d really cared you would have found a way to stop by when you got back from the war. If anyone had cared they could have stopped by, but no one did. So now I guess we aren’t even friends. In fact, I guess I don’t have any friends.” Her eyes watered, and she quickly hurried outside.
She picked up the basket and headed to the garden feeling as low as a person could be. She kneeled in the dirt and bent her head downward.
Please Lord please fill my heart. It’s feeling a bit empty right now. Am I hard to get along with? Am I too opinionated? Do I talk too much? I guess I’m just hurt. You’re the only One I have to talk to. I thought Teagan was my friend, and actually he means more to me than just a friend. I guess he didn’t, or I didn’t… He had to ask if we were friends. I’ve always heard that when one door closes another opens. I’ve also heard You provide us with a path of life. But for the life of me I can’t find the door or the path. I need help, and if there’s any way You could help me figure this all out, I’d be grateful. Not that I’m ungrateful. I mean I have a roof over my head I have food to eat I don’t have as many worries as I did. I just don’t know where I fit. I wish I knew why everything has to be so difficult for me. I know I’ll get through it with Your help. Just sometimes it’s so hard. Thank you.
She busied herself weeding the garden picking all the carrots and onions. There were still some green beans lingering, and she picked all those. She left the potatoes for last, but some tomatoes were overripe. Her basket was getting full and very heavy. She stood and wiped her brow, lifted the basket and headed for the house. She had more than enough food for supper.
She walked into the quiet house and looked around. An uneasy feeling fell over her, and she didn’t know why. She shivered. Nothing was out of place. She went into the kitchen and put on an apron. She started chopping vegetables putting them into a big cast-iron pot that was already full of boiling water.
She heard a noise and tilted her head trying to figure out where it had come from, but all was quiet. Perhaps she had imagined it. She went to the pantry to retrieve some salt, and the next thing she knew she was on the floor with Richard on top of her. He had a big butcher knife in his hand and his eyes had a wild look about them.
She froze, not daring to scream. She just looked at him, wondering what came next.
“Unless you want me to kill you here, you will get up and walk out of the house with me.” His menacing voice sent chills up her spine. Her body shook as she stood and went out the back door with him behind her. Every so often, he jabbed the knife into her back.
“Richard, where are you taking me?” Gemma asked in a whisper.
“I told you be quiet. You’re still my wife. I can take you anywhere I want, and there’s nothing you can say about it.” He shoved her to keep her moving faster.
She had so many questions she wanted to ask, but fear kept her silent. They’d have to wait until they got to where they were going, and from the direction they were heading, it wasn’t to her ranch. She didn’t dare stop. He’d put that knife through her for sure. She stumbled a few times, eliciting a few snarls from Richard, but there wasn’t a marked path and it was hard going. Was this it? Was this the time he would kill her? Why hadn’t she left on better terms with Teagan? Why hadn’t she just told the secret their families shared? Sure, she had promised her mother, but her mother was dead.
As soon as they were far enough away from anyone, she slowed down a bit. “Can you just tell me what it is you’re looking for? I know you’ve been searching the ranch, but I don’t have a clue what’s supposed to be there.”
“You really don’t know much about your pa, do you?” Richard let loose with a harsh laugh. “He was one of the best stagecoach robbers in history. There was gold, a lot of gold in the last job he did. He had it, and it’s never been
found.”
“It’s never been found because my father did not rob stagecoaches. He was a rancher.”
“Why do you think I came to this dirt-poor town? It certainly wasn’t to marry you, but that was the only way I could get on your property long enough to search it. I like my women a bit more friendly and a little curvier. I have to tell you, you weren’t a very good wife. You’d just lie there weeping and a wailing. It got to be I couldn’t stand being around you.” More laughter. “You should have seen the look on your face when you found out I had a wife already. Yeah, that look made it all worthwhile except I never found my gold. Now I want you to tell me where it is, and I want you to tell me quick. I don’t have time for fooling.”
What could she do? Even if she knew anything about gold, if she told him, that would be the end of her. And if she kept insisting that she didn’t know and he believed her, that also might end her life. A shudder rippled along her spine.
They walked until they came upon his campsite. He told her to sit down against the tree and there he tied her up with her hands behind her back. Her hopes of being found were very dim. Well, she’d be the talk of the town again, that was for sure. She wanted to be remembered fondly, but there would always be a question about her honesty and her integrity. All she hoped was that he didn’t try to touch her that evening.
She strained against the ropes and struggled not to show any emotion when they gave ever so slightly.
Richard had not thought far enough ahead to bring any food with him. He was grouchy as an old bear, and he had that knife, so her only hope was to keep as calm as possible. He hadn’t made a fire either, but that was okay. She didn’t care since it was still warm in the evenings.
She waited and waited for him to fall asleep, little by little working her hands free. It was the longest wait she could remember. After hours passed, she heard his even snores.
Unfortunately, the moon wasn’t full, and it was hard to see. She moved as slowly and silently as she could. Fear embraced her with every breath she took, but she walked away without looking back. At first, she walked very slowly, fearful of making any noise in case she fell. But as she got farther and farther away, she increased her speed.
Then she heard a noise behind her, and a sense of dread shrouded her. Would he take the knife to her this time and kill her? Or just torture her? She hid behind a tree and prayed.
She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until she saw Teagan walk by. “Teagan,” she hissed urgently.
He turned in all directions as though trying to find where the voice came from.
Gemma stood and stepped out from behind the tree with tears burning in her eyes. The next thing she knew, she was in his arms and she was embracing him back. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, and she laid her head on his chest taking all the comfort he was offering.
“It was Richard. He kidnapped me, but I got away. He’s either not too far behind me or still sleeping, and I don’t know which. He has some crazy story about my father and some gold he stole. Can we just go home now?”
Teagan nodded and let go of her then made some motion with his hand. Before she knew it, several men came out of the woods toward them. His brothers.
“Is he alone?”
“Yes, but he has a butcher knife, his two six-shooters, and a rifle. There is no fire, and it’s west of here. I didn’t walk a straight line. It’s so dark.”
There was the crack of a rifle and wood splintered from the tree just above her head. He hadn’t missed by much. Teagan pushed her to the ground and covered her body with his.
“I got him!” came a shout.
“Thank you, God,” she whispered. She panicked for a minute as Teagan’s weight trapped her. Then she took a deep breath. He didn’t have all his weight on her. In fact, his lower half wasn’t on her and his top half was supported by his elbows. He was gazing at her.
“You’re not hurt, are you? I pushed you down rather roughly.”
“I’m—I’m fine. I thought for a moment you were hit. Are they going to take him to the sheriff?”
He rolled on to his back before he sat up. She sat beside him. “He’s dead, honey.”
“How do you know?”
“He’d be yelling his head off if he were alive. Let’s get you home.”
He took her hand and helped her up, but when they were on their feet, he didn’t let go. She felt the spark between them the whole walk home. He offered to carry her a few times, but she declined. He made her feel safe and… dare she think… loved?
Chapter Nine
Gemma withdrew into herself, and Teagan didn’t know what to do. It was almost as though she didn’t hear him. He’d explained numerous times why he didn’t just go barreling into town after Victor Lyons. He was half afraid she’d go by herself, so the next day he kept an eye on her. He wasn’t sure if the sheriff was involved in the whole shady business, and until he knew he wasn’t about to tell the sheriff that Richard was dead.
His brothers all agreed with him, and they were trying to figure out a plan. They needed to somehow get the banker to implicate himself in front of the sheriff. Then they would watch for the sheriff’s reaction. They just needed the right plan and the right time.
He thought about Richard’s claim of the gold being on the land, but he couldn’t picture Mr. Maguire as a stagecoach robber. The man had been a hard worker, and frankly there hadn’t been time for him to be going traipsing off after stagecoaches. Somehow, Richard had the wrong man. But Richard was dead so he couldn’t be questioned. Gemma knew something she wasn’t telling him, and that bothered him a lot. He wanted to take her on a picnic so they could be alone and talk, but there is still danger out there. So, he asked Dolly to fix him a lunch for two. Then he asked his brothers to eat at the bunkhouse. He didn’t miss Brogan’s scowl. He wondered about it, but nothing made sense. The lunch was sitting on the table which was nicely set with flowers in the middle. Teagan called out to Gemma to let her know it was time to eat and then waited.
He heard her footsteps on the stairs and went to meet her. Her beauty took his breath away as it always did. He just hated to admit it. He smiled. “Looks like it’s just you and me for lunch. He didn’t miss her quick frown, but he pretended he didn’t see it. He gestured for her to go in front of him and followed her into the kitchen. He pulled out her chair and got her settled.
“All right, what’s wrong?”
Teagan sat down and grinned. “Why would anything be wrong? I think lunch looks delicious.”
Gemma shook her head. “Usually we’re fighting for a place to sit and now there’s only the two of us. I just find it strange is all. Spit it out. What do you want to talk to me about?”
He blinked at her and then stared for a second. “So, I take it you’re not hungry.”
“I’d rather we talk about whatever you want to talk about and get it over with. Then hopefully I’ll be able to eat. Frankly, you make me nervous.”
So, it would be a direct approach. “I remember you saying something had come between your parents, and I got the feeling that’s why your father wanted me dead. I think I need to know the whole story so I can figure out what the heck is going on around here.”
“I promised my mother I’d never speak of it, but you’re right it’s time everyone knew the truth. My mother told me she had a son with your father. My father was so enraged he took the newborn baby, rode to your ranch, and handed the boy to your father. My mother was so distraught, she never got over it. From what I understand, your mother was beyond livid. She didn’t want to raise another woman’s child. My mother said that her arms felt so empty. Even after she had me, her heart was still broken, and she felt as though she didn’t give me enough love. I know at one point our parents were best of friends and why your father and my mother strayed from their marriages, I have no idea. But it led to my father training his rifle on your head if I said yes to your proposal.”
Teagan didn’t know what to say. It simply cou
ldn’t be true. He never remembered a brother magically appearing. He couldn’t even begin to guess which one it might be. Gemma must’ve heard something wrong or her mother had lied to her.
“Why would your mother say such a thing?”
Tears filled Gemma’s eyes. “Because she was dying, and she wanted me to know the truth. I also think she was afraid I might pick another Kavanagh to marry. She didn’t want me picking my brother, I suppose.” She stared at him, and he felt the heat of her stare all the way to his soul.
“I’m trying to think and remember, and I don’t recall anyone ever saying a thing about your mother and my father. There’d be times when I thought there was something wrong between my parents. but that happens in all marriages, or at least I thought so.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “What man rips the baby out of his mother’s arms and drops that child off at the father’s house? I—Did my mother even know? The only thing that makes sense is the reason that you didn’t marry me. I finally believe your father had a gun pointed at my head. So many lies and none of it fair to you or me. We’d have been married with children by now, I suspect. Why in the world did your father allow me to court you?”
“I begged him to tell me. I pleaded and cried but he refused to say. I hated him for the longest time. I loved you with everything inside me and I literally thought I would die without you.” She lowered her voice to a stricken whisper. “It was as if you were dead, I grieved so. I never looked at another man until I had no choice. We both know what a bad choice that was.” She gave her head a shake as if to dispel her thoughts. “I remember that the days we courted were the happiest of my life. But that happiness made it even harder to accept I couldn’t have you. I was so afraid you would come and confront my father, and I was so afraid you wouldn’t bother to fight for me. He taunted me with your absence. I kept wondering what I’d done wrong, why you never came for an answer why I said no. I kept telling myself that if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t have stopped until I got an answer. But I never heard from you again.” She stood and looked out the window. Her shoulders began to shake as she sobbed.
Teagan: Cowboy Strong: The Kabvanagh Brothers Book One Page 8