Invasion

by Dmitrii Mansurov

  "Are you out of your mind?"

  "No, fox, I'm not. Decide for yourself. Either you bring me breakfast, or you become breakfast. There's not much meat on you, but I like to chew on the bones. And if you run away, I'll find you and give you to people so that they would make some hats out of you. Any questions?"

  ***

  The wolf let out an angry snarl goodbye and ran away. The fox was bursting with fury. If she could flush, she would have gone a dark cherry shade a long time ago. The remains of the cheese lodged in her throat. The crow that was hiding in the branches of a tree burst into hysterical laughter, and just from these cackling sounds, the fox was ready to spin like a whirlwind from the rage engulfing her.

  After catching her breath, the fox shouted, "Got you, red! It's as easy as plucking chickens!"

  The fox gritted her teeth but failed to say anything intelligible. Her jaw was cramped up with fury. Who could expect such cunning from a crow? Who would have thought that she'd send this voracious wolf-avenger!

  "Don't go around stealing cheese," the crow added.

  The crow laughed, jumped into the air, and made a circle of disrespect around the fox. The fox threw the rest of the cheese around herself in an enraged frenzy. How greedy the crow was, not even wanting to give her a slice! "You can choke on it! But I'm warning you, it's been bitten!"

  Grimacing, the fox ran away.

  'If not for the dumb sparrows, I would be eating those boars now, not making troubles with the wolf!' She was incredibly angry, and the horrifying plans of bloody revenge against the whole bird family were twirling in her head. She'd cut down the oak, feed them some poisoned millet, not let them sleep, and soak them in a week-long rainfall!

  The skull of a sparrow fell from the tree that the enraged fox was passing by. She paused and slowly raised her head, intending to erase the impudent creature with her gaze. But suddenly, she realized who was throwing those skulls around and felt a completely unjustified surge of strength. On a branch, a familiar ball of feathers was perched wearily. The skull had clearly rubbed his neck raw. From the far side of the forest, a growing murmur of birds was coming. The sparrow dived into the hollow like a bullet, and a moment later, there was a desperate flapping of the wings. A whole flock of sparrows descended upon the tree. Feverishly looking around, they noticed a single sparrow flying in the distance, so they soared and rushed after him, confident that this was their mysterious joker.

  The fox remembered where the Sparrow was now living, so she picked up the skull and ran away. Fortunately, nobody was interested in her discovery. She didn't know for sure how and why to use it, but she still had time to figure it out. The right thoughts would come, she was sure of it. For example, she could blackmail the sparrow, making him carry out her wishes, or she could promise the pack that under certain conditions, she would tell them where the one they needed to find was. And it would be just perfect to use both options at the same time.

  'It seems,' the fox thought, “I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, after all.'

  A weak and ghostly light, but still.

  The fox raised her head to let out a victorious cry and choked. Directly above her, a huge light-colored walnut of an unprecedented size hung. Weird. Too many things had moved to the upper floors of the forest. And then the fox realized that the plan of salvation from the wolf was ready. Everything was just within her reach. Hanging above her head. The only thing she had to do was use the means at hand properly. Then she could reap the fruits of her righteous labors.

  ***

  Barely holding the giggling back, the fox crept up to a non-too-attentive sparrow and whispered, "Hey!”

  The response to this whisper was so powerful, as if a bird had been shot from a cannon. Flinching and fluffing his feathers so that he would look twice as big, the sparrow suddenly returned to his previous size and then dropped dead. Puzzled, the fox stared at the corpse. A huge beetle landed on her muzzle, sitting insolently on her nose, and began to calmly clean its wings. The fox shook her head, the beetle flew up, buzzed all over her and slowly went away. Cursing like the crow had done once, the fox ran past Baba Yaga's hut. It wasn't as scary as it was at night. But something strange was happening here. Different pieces of iron were sticking out everywhere, the bushes were burned, numerous footprints were near the hut, as if there’d been dancing the whole night. What could that mean?

  Nothing good came to mind. Only nonsense. For example, that a hungry Yaga was trying to make a steak out the hut's chicken legs but failed every time. Why else would there be so many footprints? The ground was so trampled that it was astonishing.

  But these traces did not belong to Yaga as the size wasn't the same! It was probably the hunters who had been trying to make a steak out of the hut's feet. They kept missing because the hut was galloping across the meadow while Yaga was chasing the hunters. Foolish, of course, but very relatable. There had to be a huge bunch of hunters! Why?... Oh, who cared!

  The fox ran up to the oak where a flock of sparrows usually gathered and found that the hogs had eaten the acorns she'd collected. Oddly enough, the bodies of the sparrows who'd become victims of an unknown epidemic were not present. The hogs didn't eat sparrows, therefore…

  'I can see why he was being chased by a whole pack now!' the fox guessed. 'Nice prank.'

  But how inconvenient! Had it not been for the story with the crow and the cheese, there would be no need to run and save her soft red fur now. The pack had already returned, and judging by their disgruntled chirping, the search for the impudent brat had not been successful.

  'Luck is on my side!' the fox thought happily.

  It chuckled and then shouted to the pack, "Hey, sparrows!"

  "What?" the sparrows asked shortly, squinting at her with indifferent eyes.

  "I know where the skull-head that scared you is hiding!"

  "Where?" the sparrows began to fuss, fluttering to the lower branches.

  "Not far. But I'll reveal this place to you in exchange for a favor."

  "No!" the sparrows tweeted together, knowing that the fox would lie as if it was nothing.

  "What?! Do you have any idea what you're giving up?" The Fox was dumbfounded. "What if he comes back and scares you again?"

  "He won't!" The sparrows waved her words away decisively.

  "Idiots."

  "We'll fly above you and drop all over you," the sparrows threatened.

  "You don't believe me, do you?" the fox asked. "I have proof."

  She spat out the skull. The sparrows gasped in unison. She wasn't lying!

  "Did you eat the villain?" the pack asked.

  "No. I stole his mask. You have to take revenge on him yourself. It's in your best interests, Right?"

  "Logical. What do you want in exchange?"

  'Now we're talking,' the fox thought with satisfaction, and then explained in detail what the sparrows had to do.

  The most important thing remained, which was stealing a couple of chickens.

  'You'll be surprised when you see my counterargument!' the fox's thoughts turned to the wolf, and she chuckled.

  ***

  The village appeared from behind the hill, but for some reason, the people weren't visible. Just in case, the fox wandered around for a while, then steadied herself and rushed to the chicken coop. The utter desolation provoked vague, uneasy thoughts, but right now, the fox had no time for them.

  Most of the chickens were roaming about the garden. The rooster was standing among them like a towering castle. The fox took a big detour and got into the chicken coop from the opposite side. With unfathomable ease, she pushed the horrified meek birds into the sack and prepared to run out when suddenly, the rooster came in, disturbed by the sudden noise and ensuing silence.

  "Damn you all to hell!" the fox growled. The rooster took on a fighting stance, ruffled his feathers, straightened his scallop, and crowed menacingly. The fox backed away, not knowing what to expect in the next moment. Motivated by fear rather than by
conscious thought, unexpectedly even for herself, the fox spat out the bag she was holding clamped between her teeth, jumped on the rooster, and pinned him with her front paws. The rooster tried to escape but only mussed his feathers. The fox hit him with her paw, scratched his scallop, and pulled out two feathers from his tail. Then she grabbed the bag and leapt out from the coop. The chickens in the yard scattered to the corners with a loud hen-like "SOS". The dogs in the neighboring yards barked happily, pleased that something was happening.

  The fox hid the chickens, covered the place with branches, and went to the Bully to have a soul-saving conversation. The Bully was bravely hiding in a small nest and he was clearly in no hurry to go out into the light. Fox had been waiting for a good half an hour before she realized that the favors from nature weren't coming. It was better to take them by force or by cunning. Depending on one's strengths.

  "Bully! Bully!" the fox called. "Come out!"

  The sparrow looked out of the hollow.

  "What do you want?"

  "I heard that your brothers want to eat you."

  "What's it to you?"

  "I'd like to see it!" the fox replied joyfully. "This isn't some common miracle, after all."

  "Forget it, red!" the bully jumped out from the tree. "No one's going to eat me! I can eat who I want to eat myself!"

  The fox laughed.

  "I don't believe you!" she said. "You'll burst!"

  "Well, maybe I can't," the Bully agreed reluctantly. "But I can do something even better than that!"

  "I bet you can't do it," the fox said. "You only know how to brag!"

  "I'll take you on!" the sparrow agreed. "I bet the sparrows will go mad after my trick!"

  "And if you lose?"

  "Then you'll eat me!" the sparrow declared bravely.

  The surprised fox grunted.

  "Fine!" she said and quickly disappeared among the bushes. She didn't want to wait until the sparrow came up with what she should do if he won the dispute.

  ***

  The hours passed quickly. The atmosphere was wonderful, but reality reminded Maria about itself by causing an unpleasant grumbling in her stomach.

  'How can I get to the kitchen without running into Kashchey?' she thought desperately. 'I wonder if he already knows I've escaped? Or is he still guarding the room?'

  The best thing would be if Kashchey was blown outside together with dust, but this was a miracle she shouldn't hope for. But together with dust, her footprints disappeared, too, so she had to go back based on her beliefs as to the correct direction. Maria had been walking for several hours until she found the entrance to the main hall. She gasped in amazement at the sight of the beauty which the dust-free room presented.

  "Impressive, isn't it?" she heard.

  "It's incredible!" Maria said admiringly before freezing in fear. Slowly, she squinted and saw Kashchey. He was standing nearby and was clearly enjoying the effect he'd produced. Maria woke up from her stupor and immediately broke into a run.

  "Stop!" she heard a command, but she only sped up. "Stop, you foolish girl!"

  Kashchey caught up with her and grabbed her shoulder. Maria spun around and raised her hand to slap him.

  "Bad idea!" he managed to say. There was a loud slap, and Maria gasped. Her hand hurt as though she had slapped a wall, not a face. "I did warn you!"

  The princess knew some harsh words not suited for someone in her position, but instead of saying them, she sent Kashchey the most murderous look she was capable of. Her guilty subjects often dropped dead at the sight of such a look and came back to life only after her departure. But Kashchey was one nasty immortal, so he refused to even pretend to die.

  It was fortunate for the princess that her eyes weren't really deadly. Otherwise, she would have remained alone in an empty castle in the middle of nowhere and without any chance of returning to her native land.

  "The princes will kill you!" Maria stated, tired of drilling Kashchey with her eyes. "They'll come and kill you!"

  "Perhaps," Kashchey agreed. "But which ones? Those who have been making strange movements all evening. I believe they're called dancing mistakenly? The ones who refused to pay the ransom for you and left the kingdom quickly after my departure? Out of the whole crowd, no prince wanted to part with a small... well... all right... with a big sum of money. An indecently big one! None of them!"

  Maria's face turned so upset that Kashchey felt scared for a moment. Did she have a stroke or something? He had to back off, and urgently at that.

  "Calm down, calm down!" he said conciliatory. "Two idiots volunteered to save you! I mean, one is saving you and the other one is assisting like a proper brother. They are already galloping here at full speed, probably tearing me apart mentally. But are you sure you'd have picked them out of that crowd of dancers? Think about the vicissitudes of fate at your leisure. And before you do that, explain something to me. How did you manage to do this to my beloved dark castle?"

  "Do what?" Maria asked dully, her head in the clouds.

  "That general cleaning thing... Oh, forget about those cowards already, or you'll never lose this dumbfounded, stupid look on your face. They're trying to save you. Your crazy dance partner... Hey, do you hear me?"

  "I don't know," Maria started when Kashchey snapped his fingers in front of her face for the third time, repeating his question. "I was pressing the buttons in one of the rooms... What, don't you know what's in your own castle?"

  "I didn't have much time," Kashchey waved his hand. "Can you find it again?"

  "I think so. I'll tell you only if you invite me to a humble villainous dinner, though."

  Kashchey smiled a little. The princess was setting the conditions. She was coming to her senses, then! Now they could have dinner properly, pleased and satisfied.

  ***

  "Lunch is served!" Kashchey declared, setting the tray before the princess. He had to discard the thought that the princess, because of her way of life, would hang a noose around his neck painfully quickly. At least for a while. The princess looked at her plate.

  "I can see why you're so skinny now. You're supposed to put food on the plates."

  "I did."

  "You smeared it."

  "Get some bread, collect the food with it, and eat!" Kashchey advised. "And I'm not skinny. I just move a lot."

  Maria put the first spoonful into her mouth and almost spat it back out. But this time, the feeling of hunger was stronger than disgust, so in the end, she swallowed the food.

  "Do you cook yourself or do you steal food?" she asked. "If you steal, then change your sources. This is disgusting."

  "Of course, I steal it. The chefs know in advance that they won’t get a piece, so they aren't trying at all, those jerks!" Kashchey complained.

  Maria giggled.

  "The truth is," Kashchey added, "the meals are prepared by a machine. I order what I want and it cooks it."

  "That's a strange name for a cook," Maria noted. "Is he from abroad?"

  "This is not..." Kashchey hesitated. "You wouldn't understand."

  Maria opened her mouth indignantly, but Kashchey stopped her angry chattering on time.

  "Don't argue. You're smart, I know! I've seen it firsthand. It's just beyond your comprehension. A machine is a device. Well, I don't know how to describe it... you can think of it as my magical assistant, like a magic wand."

  "Like that duster?"

  "Exactly!" Kashchey nodded, although he had no idea what she was talking about. Nevertheless, the princess was satisfied with the answer.

  "Make it follow the orders properly," Maria advised. "Then the food will taste better."

  "I'll do it tonight," Kashchey promised.

  "Tell me, is this your castle?" Maria changed the subject.

  "Yes," Kashchey responded shortly. He didn't want to tell her the whole history of his appearance in this place. It was too long, dreary, and required too much effort. Only Scheherazade could talk for three years in a row to save her life.r />
  "So why don't you know where to go?" the princess insisted, and Kashchey gave up. Maria clearly wouldn't back off. She had nowhere to hurry, after all, and nothing to do. Besides, girls liked to chat.

  'She did put a noose around my neck, subtly as it was,' Kashchey thought.

  "I know the castle stores a lot of strange things," he said aloud. "But I've been too busy to explore them. They aren't gold, and I'm collecting gold right now. As soon as I decide that it's time to focus on the castle properly, I'll look through everything here."

  "Who put these things in your castle?" Maria asked.

  "I have no idea! I don't know who lived here before me, or if anyone lived here at all. I've heard legends about the mysterious builders, and I think that the castle was built specifically for me."

  "Why?"

  "Because no one has tried to get it for themselves. All the guests wanted to strangle me in particular. They didn't care about the castle. But I have no idea what these things are for."

  "How can you live next to millions of puzzles and completely ignore them?!" Maria was astonished. "I would have died from curiosity a long time ago!"

  "Die as much as you want!" Kashchey allowed. "But only after the prince comes. No sooner than that."

  "No, seriously! Why?"

  "Because my past is the biggest mystery to me. I'm a mystery. And all around me is a mystery. Wherever you go, you'll see mystery upon mystery upon mystery. And I just want to collect gold."

  "I think you're depressed. It's wrong. You should enjoy life."

  "Me? Depressed?" Kashchey was surprised. "The whole world is reeling from my forms of entertainment!"

  "The world, yes," Maria agreed. "While you're sitting here alone and depressed."

  Kashchey wondered about it. In some ways, Maria was right. Collecting gold century after century wasn't that boring, but it was kind of... monotonous? It was high time to focus on something else.

  "All right!" Kashchey said decisively. "You'll find me the room I need, and as a reward, I'll allow you to study the exhibits in this vault until the princes come. Agreed?"

  "Agreed!" Maria nodded. "And how long should I wait for their appearance?"