The Gift of Fall

by Alex Leu

  “If we have to meet again, we're going to sue your school, so you better deliver on your promises!”

  The door opened and Celine jumped aside almost caught red-handed. She walked away from the door and saw two parents accompany a boy out of the office. The boy's face was bandaged and bloody stains freckled the white fabric covering his wounds.

  Celine looked at the boy’s hands and took a deep breath of relief, it wasn’t him. But then this meant that Billy was somehow involved in it, and he was probably the one who beat the boy. Her heart sank, and she ran as fast as she could bursting through the back doors of the school, searching for any type of escape.

  The sun had long set, leaving her alone in the cold dark of night, standing beneath the tall oak, their tree. She wanted to get away from it all, to forget what she saw, what she felt, but it was too deeply ingrained in her mind. She glared at the low-lit street before her, knowing that she would be hard to spot, she wanted to run for it, run into it.

  “Celine...” a hushed whisper stopped her before she hit the street. She looked around, but she was alone.

  “Celine...” the sound of her name coming from his lips made her legs tremble and her heart race with excitement and fear.

  She looked back at the tree and saw Billy standing there. She raced back over to him, slowing down as she got closer. It was dark but she could still see patches of blood on his jacket. Was it the bandaged boy’s blood or his? She didn’t know which answer would horrify her more. It was probably better not knowing, maybe not knowing him at all. But could she really walk away from him? Her body wouldn’t let her, her heart had taken over and would never allow her to walk away. She wiped off her tears.

  “Celine, please sit down, I need to give you something before it’s too late.”

  Fearing this would all end soon she ran into his arms. He held her tightly, and she could feel him inhale the smell of her hair. How she never wanted to leave his embrace. As if jolted by a bolt of lightning, the fear took over, and she pulled away.

  “Too late for what?” she asked worried about his response.

  “Celine,” he whispered softly and caressed her cheek, making her legs weak. She had never felt this way, there had never been a boy that was anything more than just a boy, until Billy.

  A school security car passed by, making Billy crouch down behind the tree. The brief flash of light worried Celine as it revealed more blood on Billy’s left sleeve which he kept in his pocket and would barely move.

  “Is this your blood?” she asked concerned.

  “Don’t ask me that, please.”

  “Did you beat up that boy?”

  “Please, we don’t have much time.”

  Billy reached under a nearby bench and pulled out a box.

  “This is for you.”

  Celine opened the box and immediately put it aside on a bench. Billy looked at her confused, but she couldn’t look him in the eyes. It took her a moment to control her tears until she could look back at the box. It carried a set of the most expensive oil based spray paints. The best spray paints one could buy. The ones her parents couldn’t afford, the ones she dreamed about but gave up on the idea of ever owning. It was the best of gifts, but one she sadly couldn’t accept. She was mad at him and scared that she might lose him because of what he did that day. Did he fight that boy to get these paints? She put the box down and faced him.

  “Billy, you promised you wouldn’t be violent anymore! And now... now I can’t trust you,” she ached as she said it. “How can you even afford this? How do I know you didn’t buy this with the money you got from the stolen things?”

  Billy was silent and with every second she got more and more upset with him. Not for the things he probably did to the boy, not even for possibly stealing, but for letting this come between them.

  Billy stared at her, not knowing what to say to ease her or to convince her that he didn’t do what she believed him capable of.

  “I appreciate your gift but I can’t accept it,” she said and pushed the box towards him.

  Billy looked wounded, he reached for her hand, but before he could feel her skin against his, Celine ran away.

  She ran from her gift, from her only supporter, from the person she loved. She cried all the way home and well into the night.

  < >

  The next morning she was late for the first time that semester.

  Celine dropped her jacket in her locker and headed to class when suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. She rushed back to her locker, and on its bottom lay Billy's gift. She was relieved that he didn't take her seriously the night before, but it was still something she couldn't accept. What if he really was a thief? Then she would never forgive herself for accepting it! Why couldn't he buy her something else, something she didn't want so badly? Celine looked at the colorful spray cans one more time then slowly closed the locker door on them.

  She walked into the classroom hoping not to let her guard down at his sight but teared up when she saw Billy's empty seat.

  Celine hated herself so much. Will she ever make a good choice? And why did she only manage to attract the troublemakers? Why couldn't he be someone that would actually stick around? She looked at the drawing of a cracked heart in her sketchbook and violently ripped the page out, crushing it into a small ball of garbage.

  The bell rang, but she remained at her desk focused on solving the math problem from the board. She finally found something useful about math — it was an escape. A much less painful and less judgmental one. Just numbers, lots of them, more than enough to fill her void and block the pain of her breaking heart.

  Her classmates were suspiciously quiet for break time, but once the teacher stepped out, everyone gathered around one of the tables.

  Celine ignored the commotion at first until a familiar sounding voice drew her to the pack. She peeked above her classmates' heads and watched a cellphone video that one of them had filmed behind the school.

  She watched a surrounded Billy who was on the ground in pain, begging Egon and Jim to give him his backpack.

  “Stop whining you junkie,” Egon teased him. “Let’s see what you are on,” Egon opened Billy's backpack dropping everything to the ground.

  A couple of notebooks fell, along with a few pre-filled syringes.

  “Ah! Here it is. Now everyone will know what you are.”

  Egon crushed the syringes and a blue liquid sprayed the asphalt.

  “No!” Billy cried out in pain. “That's my medicine!” He crawled across the ground to save what was left but the guys kicked the syringes away from him.

  Celine watched in horror as her classmates cheered at the video. It was a familiar cheer, one she knew too well, one she was a victim of so many times. Her heart pounded in her ears and her legs weakened, and she couldn’t help but react to the cheer as if it were directed at her. Everything in her body wanted to escape this torturous image as well as the guilt she felt for believing Billy was somehow to blame for the events. But she had to know why Billy didn’t show up to class that day and why there was so much blood on his jacket last night. Her hands clutched at her dress and she held onto the last ounce of restraint within her as she endured the awful cheer.

  “Wait, wait. Now is the best part,” said a student excitedly.

  “Maybe you need a kiss from your girlfriend,” Egon smirked at Billy. “Will that make you feel better?”

  “But if she kisses like she draws, then you're definitely screwed,” said Jim, and the wolf pack around Billy exploded with laughter.

  Billy suddenly rushed towards Jim and smashed his prosthetic metal fist into Jim's face, knocking him to the ground, then jumped on him and continued beating Jim unconscious while everyone ran away.

  Celine felt the tide of emotion rolling up within her as she walked away from the pack to return to her desk. With every step, she felt like the dam inside her was going to break, and all the dirty, jealous looks from her classmates were only making it worse. Why was the mo
st beautiful thing anyone had ever done for her also have to be the worst of all? With the gift of support and protection, Billy also took everything away from her because his actions would probably get him suspended. Celine sat at her desk and tried to tame the boiling tide inside her.

  “That video was awesome," said a student. "No wonder he's being expelled.”

  Hearing that news, Celine felt sucker punched in the gut, and she ran out of class in tears laughed at by the cheering pack of classmates.

  “Run to your boyfriend, he needs you now!” Egon called after her.

  Egon watched her run and knew that he would get her back soon. It was all a matter of time before this unworthy competition was gone.

  Celine ran down the hallway to a small staircase connecting the second and third floors. She sat on the steps and sobbed into the empty space.

  “We both know you're supposed to be in class,” a deep voice startled her.

  Celine looked around and saw an armed soldier by the door behind her. When did soldiers become hall monitors? She wiped her tears, stood up and strolled through the suffocating hallways as if she had somewhere to go. At least she always did as she was told, not that it would help her now.

  The bell rang and waves of students passed Celine by, all invisible to her, all but one who she so longed to see and didn't.

  Turning the corner she noticed two more soldiers standing by the principal’s office. Curious, Celine walked by and through a small window in the door, she saw him! Sitting inside the office was Billy.

  She froze in her tracks weighed by all the pain, frustration, and her teary eyes sparkled at him, hoping for a smile, for a sign that everything was fine. Celine tried to block the soldiers out of her mind and hope that this situation would get resolved easily and that tomorrow morning she would meet him again by their tree.

  Celine mustered all the courage she had and waved at him.

  Billy noticed her but looked down.

  “Please move away from the door,” ordered one of the soldiers.

  Celine backed away and almost tripped on her own feet. What have they done to him? And why did he have to do this for her? Did he really... Did he really like her that much? She almost wished that he wouldn’t have paid any attention to her just so she could see him in class. She walked away trying to hold her balance and her tears.

  Billy saw her leave and fought his tears, but a few managed to get through. He quickly wiped them away and bravely faced the towering general sitting across the table.

  “Crying won't work with me,” threatened the general. “Where is it?!” he said smashing his brick-fist into the table.

  Billy stared the general straight in the eyes. It wasn’t a fair match but Billy wasn’t going to let them push him around anymore. This time, he was finally in control. And he didn’t care what they would take away from him as long as they didn’t take away what she had given him. He looked out into the hallway and felt the peace he felt in her presence and hoped that she would forgive him.

  “Where is it you fool?!” the general launched across the table at Billy and grabbed him by the collar only to see a smile grace Billy’s face.

  < >

  The last bell of the day rang, leaving Celine feeling drained. Her tired eyes matched the bleeding sunset, every blink an agonizing reminder of his absence. With the distraction of the classes gone, she was now back to the torturous pain and longing.

  Celine gathered her books and dragged herself to her locker. Opening the tiny door, she once again faced his expensive gift. With Billy in trouble, she definitely had to return it and share the money with everyone who was robbed. She located the store address on the box’s price sticker and headed there.

  She dreaded every step of the way. Finally, a gift she needed, a gift from someone she truly cared for, and who appeared to care for her, and she had to return it. The weight of the box reminded her of the magic contained inside and what she could do with it. Should she keep it? Or return it? Either choice was filled with regret. But if she could solve the disappearance of the student theft, then maybe she could also help Billy get out of trouble.

  Celine arrived at the storefront and was surprised to find out that it wasn't an art supply store at all. Items of all kinds hung on the walls, all unpackaged, most of them used. Did he exchange the stolen items for these new paints? Celine looked around searching for any of the missing items that had belonged to her classmates but nothing looked familiar.

  “Can I help you?” an old voice startled her.

  “No thanks,” she replied confused and headed out when a shiny item on display caught her attention.

  Now it all made sense. Oh, how foolish she was for doubting Billy’s innocence. She ran out of the store straight to the school to thank him, to hold him, to apologize.

  Being so selfish and doubting her own feelings of him, she didn't notice why Billy kept holding his left arm, and never asked him if he had been hurt. How blind she had been to push away someone so kind and special. Someone who would go to such a big sacrifice for her.

  She ran as fast as she could, thinking of the hand, of Billy's prosthetic hand hanging on display in the pawn shop, and hoped to see him once again, even if for a moment.

  < >

  Celine looked through the glass of the principal's office door but Billy wasn't there. The door was closed, and the guards were gone.

  She stepped backward, in denial, trying not to accept what was now her reality, and collapsed on the floor against the wall. Her head fell on her knees. Was he gone? She put her palms together, and for the first time in many years, she asked God for help, for a chance to at least say goodbye.

  The sound of heavy boots echoed through the empty hallways and Celine got up excited and ran around the corner only to see the school's janitor.

  She slowed down, feeling like her heart was breaking inside her chest, and was again reminded of the weight in her bag. Celine reached into the bag and took out his gift. She finally felt like it was hers. It was a great feeling as she realized that it was the best gift she had ever gotten.

  Being robbed of her goodbye, Celine opened the box determined to say goodbye in the best way she could.

  < >

  Celine was usually quiet in class, but the next morning she was even more so. She was afraid to utter a sound for that may open the levees of her built-up tears. Her mind was busy solving math problems, running away from the problem she would never be able to solve.

  A sudden loud engine roar coming from the street was the perfect distraction for the entire class but her. All the students got up and ran to the windows to see a convoy of military vehicles parking in front of the school.

  The teacher yelled but it was impossible to contain everyone's excitement, only Celine remained seated trying to escape her overpowering grief.

  “Ha, they're taking him, they're taking Billy away!” Egon snapped with excitement and laughter. He turned to Celine as she unleashed the tears she had so carefully been guarding.

  “Come say goodbye to your boyfriend,” Egon smirked.

  The entire class laughed as Celine continued to write in her notebook. Teardrops rained on the pages and the ink began to smudge the numbers and her self-control. She dropped her pen and rushed to the window.

  Suddenly the principal barged in. “That's it, young lady, you're done here! Time to find a new school!”

  Reaching the window she saw two bulky and heavily armed soldiers escorting Billy to a big military bus. He stepped mechanically following their orders. His eyes were lost, unable to pick up on the green uniforms of his guards, and even more so of the green prison on wheels they were taking him to. But he did pick up one particular color when he looked up and noticed that he was finally able to see the leaves of their favorite tree.

  The tree's leaves were spray painted a bright burning orange, and that's all he needed to know.

  Billy’s cold face warmed into a broad smile, and he looked at the classroom window hoping to th
ank Celine for remembering their promise. She was not there, but he felt her heart through the best gift he'd ever gotten, for even if the season was still a few months away, she gave him the best gift of all, the gift of fall, the gift of love.

  Dragged down the school’s hallways, Celine heard the convoy’s engines roar and broke free of the principal's grip.

  Running out of the school as fast as she could, she stepped into the street as the military bus was driving away and kept running, unwilling to let go.

  Through the back window of the bus, she saw Billy who turned and looked at her. Time stopped as their eyes held onto each other, hoping to meet again, hoping to remember, to be remembered.

  Celine was running out of breath, unwillingly slowing down until she eventually stopped. Fearing the end of their brief romance, she met Billy’s gaze and watched as he blew on the window, steaming the glass, allowing him to leave her with one last message... a “B+”.

  Celine’s tears of loss turned to tears of joy as they both smiled. Their image of each other getting smaller and smaller but their hearts were never as big or as full of joy than at that moment.

  The guards inside the bus pulled Billy away from the window and wiped out the "B+", but it was too late, for Celine and Billy got their chance to say goodbye.

  The principal caught up with Celine and commanded her to his office. She obeyed, slowly walking away from the road as she watched Billy's bus disappear over the horizon.

  Later that day, the school called a fire truck to wash the orange off the tree leaves. It did a good job, but a few orange leaves still remained on the very top, and no amount of water could wash them off, just as no amount of discouragement or negativity could wash off Celine's newborn desire and love for art, or her love for Billy.

  She was eventually expelled from the school for coloring the tree but never felt freer or more empowered to dream. Because every time she passed by the tree and saw the orange leaves, she knew that she was not alone and that someone out there truly believed in her. And maybe one day something she drew or painted would make its way to Billy, and he would be reminded of her and what they once had. True love.